Magical Girl Ranko vs Z Fighter Ryouga
by Rowan Seven
Summary: Desperate times call for desperate measures, and when Ryouga returns to Nerima with a Dragonball Z power-up Ranma resorts to drastic tactics to defeat his rival. Sequel to Ryouga vs. the Road Runner.
1. Chapter 1

Title: Magical Girl Ranko vs. Z-Fighter Ryouga

Author: Rowan Seven

Teaser: Desperate times call for desperate measures, and when Ryouga returns to Nerima with a Dragonball Z power-up Ranma resorts to drastic tactics to defeat his rival. Sequel to Ryouga vs. the Road Runner

Rating: PG-13 just to be safe.

Disclaimer: Ranma 1/2, Dragonball Z, Sailor Moon, Looney Tunes, and any other series, characters, and settings I mention belong to their respective creators and copyright holders. I make no claims to these characters and am making no financial profit from writing this story.

Author's Notes: Marked with (#) and posted at the end.

* * *

Chapter 1 – Old and New Arrivals (and Rivals!)

It was a dark and stormy night, but this is Nerima so there was nothing at all unusual about that. Nerima Ward saw so much precipitation and freak weather patterns on a weekly and even daily basis that there was an entire school of butterflies flapping their wings half a world away trying to keep up. So, although it was a dark and stormy night life went on as usual for the many people who - sometimes ruefully - called Nerima home. Respectable merchants closed their shops, less respectable merchants _opened_ their businesses, and students, workers, and other pedestrians rushed to their houses. There were even some who'd had enough common sense (often in short supply in those parts) to bring umbrellas with them.

Regardless, it was a dark and stormy night, the people still outside knew it was a dark and stormy night, and thus no one was at all surprised when what looked like a bolt of lightning hurtled down from the heavens and struck a vacant lot well-known to anyone familiar with the antics of the Nerima Wrecking Crew. In the utterly predictable progression of ominous developments, the subsequent boom of thunder was accompanied by a brilliant flash of nearly blinding light that promptly coalesced around a humanoid form of medium height that appeared to be carrying a large backpack. A second later both sound and light resolved into the figure of one recognizable but uncharacteristically smiling Eternally Lost Boy.

"I've...returned," Hibiki Ryouga spoke with borderline disbelief in his voice, brown eyes scanning his surroundings with wonderment and right hand reflexively reaching for the red bamboo umbrella strapped to the top of his backpack. The arm motion halted almost immediately, however, and the young martial artist looked up at the stormy night sky through dark bangs that were quickly becoming rain-slicked and laughed gleefully.

"Porunga(1), wherever you are right now, you have my eternal gratitude for the wishes you granted! While my sense of direction may have been beyond even your power to fix, -" The Lost Boy briefly frowned in displeasure at the disheartening memory but swiftly cheered up again as he continued to be soaked by rain without undergoing a porcine transformation. "-thanks to you I'm free from Jusenkyo's taint, have regained the years I spent fighting alongside Goku and the Z-Fighters, and am finally back in Nerima!"

The bandana-clad youth's voice had steadily risen as he soliloquized, and now it was joined by a nearly manic grin. "At last, after dreaming of this moment for so long, I can prove myself to Akane and defeat Ranma once and for all!" He raised a clenched fist that erupted with barely restrained green ki above his head and pictured his upcoming victory against his longtime rival. With the training he'd gotten in against the invading saiyans and on Namek there was NO WAY Ranma could possibly beat him now, not even if the infuriating pigtailed martial artist had doubled his speed and devised half-a-dozen new techniques on the fly. There was only one thing left that stood in his path to defeating Ranma in a duel, and Hibiki Ryouga was determined to deal promptly with this last obstacle and finally enjoy the triumph he'd fantasized about since junior high.

"Now, where's the nearest mailbox?"

000ooo000000ooo000

One week later...

"Where's Ranma? I want him to try the casserole I cooked today."

It was neither night nor dark nor even stormy at the Tendo household, but the twelve simple words uttered by the youngest Tendo daughter contained more terror than any single horror cliché and not even the warmth of the lazily setting and beautiful sun could offer any comfort to those who heard them. Only experience and mind-boggling good-naturedness allowed the two older Tendo sisters to school their expressions from where they sat around the dining room table, the aforementioned vaguely casserole-shaped dish occupying a place of dubious honor atop the center of the wooden surface and threatening to sunder it through its unnatural mass. Notably absent were the mustached Soun and incorrigible Genma, the two less than respectable adults having done what they normally did in emergencies and ran away at the first sign of Akane practicing her infamous culinary talents.

"Ranma?" Kasumi repeated sweetly, gentle smile kind enough to melt the hearts of any number of Grinches times ten. "He received a postcard from Ryouga in the mail today and rushed out of the house to meet him. Those two are such good friends!" Her smile didn't falter in the slightest as the younger, darker brunette sitting beside her muttered something that sounded suspiciously like "How convenient" under her breath.

The blue-haired chef of horrors' attitude improved almost immediately- "Ryouga's back in town? I haven't seen him in over a month!" -before souring again just as quickly. "What could he have to say to Ranma that's so urgent that that arrogant jerk couldn't wait until after I'd finished in the kitchen to leave?"

Nabiki couldn't keep the amusement out of her voice as she leaned forward and nonchalantly nibbled on one of the dumplings her much more culinary skilled older sister had prepared as a snack. "It was likely another challenge letter, and considering how long Ryouga's been away it wouldn't surprise me if he's been training in a new secret technique he wants to try out against Ranma. Better be prepared to comfort your fiancé when he returns home, Akane."

Akane's usual reflexive protests about the engagement were pre-empted by her oldest sister's next words. "Oh my! I do hope Ranma will be all right. He and Ryouga tend to play a bit roughly whenever they learn something new."

The middle Tendo sister chuckled once at Kasumi's unique choice of words. "Roughly? More like one step away from hospitalization." She shrugged once unceremoniously. "Not that it matters much, since we all know how this'll go. Ryouga will arrive a week late, defeat Ranma without breaking a sweat a couple times, Ranma will suffer a near nervous breakdown as his ego threatens to implode before either coming up with a harebrained but surprisingly effective counter or discovering the technique's fatal flaw at the last minute, and then miraculously pull off a victory. The only real question is whether whatever Ryouga's learned is something he and Ranma will seal up afterwards or add to their regular repertoire of techniques." A teasing grin formed on her devious features. "So you can stop worrying about Ranma, Akane, since no matter what happens it'll blow over in two weeks or less."

The youngest sister's left eye twitched in annoyance. "I'm not worried about that idiot and could care less if Ryouga pummels him into unconsciousness or not! I'm just disappointed that he isn't around to try the delicious meal I spent so much time cooking for him. You'd think he could show a little more consideration when he knows I'm in the kitchen." An idea occurred to her and her mercurial mood trickled upwards again. "Then again, I bet Ranma will get pretty hungry waiting for Ryouga. I'll find him after I finish my homework and give him the leftovers."

"I'm sure your fiancé will appreciate your kindness," Kasumi spoke gently, somehow managing to keep any insincerity out of her voice. "I'll make sure to put everything in a basket later tonight so you can-"

**SPLASH!**

Nabiki didn't even bat an eyelash at the familiar sound of a human body falling into the koi pond outside from a great height. "Seems like that won't be necessary, sis, since Ranma is apparently home early." She reached forward across the table for another dumpling. "Ryouga must have arrived on time for once, if you can imagine that."

The oldest Tendo sister frowned slightly at her middle sister's words. "Now Nabiki, it's not nice to speak ill of people when-"

"Damn that no-good, directionless idiot!" Ranma-chan shouted in a shrill voice as she slid open the door to the house, kicking off her shoes and shamelessly taking off her shirt to wring it out first before entering the building. "Where does he get off surprising me with his promptness? Only three minutes late for a change instead of three days, and he wouldn't even spare _one_ minute to explain where he'd been before punching me halfway across the neighborhood!"

Any worry Ranma's blue-haired fiancée might have felt for him at his impromptu arrival faded just as quickly at his lack of modesty. "For crying out loud, Ranma, put your shirt back on. Just imagine what would happen if Happosai were here."

The young master of Anything Goes Martial Arts shuddered once at the thought and swiftly did as asked, ignoring the slight chill the damp fabric caused as she put the Chinese silk shirt back on. Nabiki, more than used to such antics, turned to face the Saotome heir and cut straight to what really interested her.

"So Ranma, what new technique did Ryouga use to defeat you this time and when's the rematch?"

"It wasn't a public duel so I didn't officially lose!" Ranma-chan protested vehemently almost as soon as Nabiki closed her mouth, slamming her fists down on the table to emphasize her point. "When we fight again in a week I'll be ready for him! I already have a plan to figure out what that supersonic uppercut he used is."

"Your schoolgirl uniform is in the wash right now, Ranma, but I can have it ready for you in the morning if you need it," Kasumi offered helpfully, pouring a cup of tea and setting it in front of Ranma-chan whose face promptly joined her fists on the table.

"Come on, Kasumi, you know me better than that," Ranma-chan objected with a hint of wounded pride in her voice as she raised her head and sat down on the floor with the three sisters. "I have something much more cunning in mind, I'll have ya know."

"Long lost fiancée this time?" Nabiki inquired with a Cheshire cat grin.

"Cousin searching for an ultimate technique to defeat the Hibiki family's ancient ancestral enemy with?" Akane joined in, a matching smirk on her own attractive features.

The sound of Ranma-chan's face striking the table again promptly followed. "No, and no!" the young martial artist insisted, blue eyes glaring hotly at the two younger Tendo sisters. "Is that honestly the _best_ you think I can come up with?"

Kasumi chose that moment to pour a conveniently placed kettle of hot water over her potential future brother-in-law and interjected herself back into the conversation. "What is your plan then, Ranma? I'm sure we'd all love to hear what you're going to be up to before your next play date."

The now raven-haired young man smirked and opened his mouth to speak before remembering just exactly what his "cunning scheme" was. "Er..." He chuckled weakly once and raised his right hand to the back of his neck. "I'll tell you all later. So, what's for supper tonight?" the Saotome heir asked in a blatant attempt to change the subject.

Akane perked up immediately. "As a matter of fact, you're just in time to taste the casserole I made, and I want you to be the first one to try it. Here." Somehow, with a burst of superhuman strength, the youngest Tendo sister pushed the casserole tray with its squarish, amorphous contents in front of her fiancé and smiled beatifically in expectation. "Eat up."

Ranma looked down at the culinary nightmare that would horrify even a mad scientist with a lisping assistant going by the name of Igor and felt his spirits sink. For its part, the baked monstrosity bubbled up ominously. The Saotome heir glanced once more at Akane's smiling face and sighed glumly. "Man, I almost wish Ryouga _had_ knocked me unconscious. At least then I wouldn't be dealing with your food poisoning."

What happened next was completely predictable.

"Ranma you jerk!" the infuriated Akane shouted as she lifted her unnatural creation off the table and slammed it over the suddenly defenseless Ranma's head. The young Saotome's skull crashed into the dining room's table for the third time that day and, with a strangled cry, he got his wish as the world went dark around him.

Nabiki watched, nonchalantly, as her sister left the room in a huff and Ranma's comatose body slumped to the floor. She turned to her other sister and reached for another dumpling. "Those two never learn, do they?"

For her part, Kasumi only continued to smile as she contemplated a suitable way to dispose of her youngest sister's latest creation. "Tell me Nabiki, about how much does it cost to send cargo into outer space these days?"

000ooo000000ooo000

Night came and went and, as was often its wont, left enough unanswered questions in its wake to fill an entire season of Unsolved Mysteries. Regardless, by the time morning's first light dawned Soun and Genma had returned to the house, their earlier whereabouts an unsolved and better left unanswered mystery in itself. The fact that the respective Tendo and Saotome patriarchs were still there shortly before suppertime playing a game of shogi on the porch was a sure sign that Kasumi rather than Akane was the one cooking dinner that night, as were the absent howls of terror from the neighborhood dogs and any other nearby creatures with sensitive noses. The long-haired Soun sat at ease and met the relaxed gaze of his longtime and bald friend with a calm smile, their tranquil appearances belying the ridiculous amounts of cheating both men were employing to win. Each deceptive gambit countered by the other's trickery, the two old companions could have played on like this all day.

Little did they know – though, since this is Nerima, they really should have – that their moment of relative serenity would be shortlived.

**SPLASH!**

-It looks like my boy is home.- Genma-panda's newly withdrawn wooden sign proclaimed as the Jusenkyo cursed and now transformed martial artist stretched his bearish form once. Across from him Soun merely nodded his head, studying the game-board intently and not about to let something as mundane in these parts as a splash of water and magical transformation distract him from his masterful strategy. After all, the only thing harder than counteracting Genma's cheating was matching it.

The blue-haired Akane walked out of the house to see who'd landed in the koi pond this time, and her brown eyes narrowed in annoyance as she spied the bedraggled figure of her fiancé...and more specifically, what said fiancé was wearing.

"That was your 'cunning plan'?" the fiery Tendo sister exclaimed as she walked over to the frequently visited body of water and offered a hand to Ranma-chan, equal parts disbelief and derision in her voice. "Dressing up as a cheerleader? I can't say I blame Ryouga for sending you flying this time."

The red-haired martial artist shrugged once and ignored Akane's offer of help, preferring to leap out of the pond herself. "I'll stop using my curse to trick that idiot when he stops falling for a pretty face and sweet talk which, knowing Ryouga, will probably be when he's as old as Cologne if even then." She spent an immodest moment wringing out the cheerleader outfit's short skirt and then grinned triumphantly. "Besides, it worked! I learned where Ryouga trained during the past month, and now all I need to do is find someone who knows about the Trial of the Road Runner and can show me how to duplicate it."

-The Trial of the Road Runner? Gasp!-

Even though Genma-panda's newest sign had made no noise, everyone somehow knew to turn and stare at the now sweating Saotome patriarch. The transformed father of the transformed son hastily held up a new sign, but the damage had already been done.

-I mean, the Trial of the Road Runner? Never heard of it. Good luck to you, son.- Genma-panda stood up and tried to beat a retreat into the house but Ranma-chan was faster, leaping onto his head and knocking her cursed father to the ground before he could move a yard.

"Not so fast, old man! You know something, and I'm not letting you up till you tell me what it is!" Ranma-chan declared adamantly, determined to regain the upper hand against her longtime rival and not about to let a simple thing like filial piety stand between her and victory.

From his position on the porch with his teenage son currently daughter standing on top of him, Genma-panda considered his options and sighed. He didn't feel like fighting right now and his son was stubborn enough that if he continued to lie they'd both be out here all night and miss the delicious meal Kasumi was preparing. If he wanted to fill his stomach he'd have to talk, and the answer to that was a no-brainer.

-Well, it all started a number of years ago...-

000ooo000000ooo000

A number of years ago in a desert somewhere in North America...

Wile E. Coyote couldn't keep the surprise off his lupine face. Yellow eyes filled with shock and glee, the bipedal canine stood still and waited, as if expecting to be crushed by a boulder or hit by an explosion at any second. Neither was forthcoming, though, and the furry carnivore finally released the delight he felt in a muted jump of joy. Quickly regaining his composure, the brown coyote withdrew a knife, fork, and bib from the same undisclosed place he kept his signs and advanced on his prey.

"Beep-Beep?" The blue and lavender roadrunner squawked from where it stood trapped within the confines of a sturdily built metal cage on the edge of a cliff, the one in a million chance Wile E.'s traps had for success having at last occurred. If the bird felt nervous at its impending demise, the Road Runner showed no signs of it and continued to smile serenely at the closing coyote as if aware of some great knowledge that eluded its would be devourer.

_Tap-tap._

Knowledge that had just tapped the aforementioned carnivore on the right shoulder from behind. Eyes filled with annoyance at being interrupted during his moment of triumph, Wile E. turned around to face the distraction and found himself glaring at the figure of a Saotome Genma young enough that he still had hair. The youthful future Saotome patriach, familiar by now to the coyote through the time he'd also spent pursuing the Road Runner recently, returned the brown-furred beast's stare with an unconvincing disarming smile and held up a wooden sign.

-Sorry about this.-

**SLAM!**

Genma smashed the signboard over the head of the very creature who had taught him the trick behind producing them faster than the coyote could react and with enough force that the wooden board cracked in two. Wile E's yellow eyes bulged in shock and pain, and the unfortunate carnivore felt a wave of darkness rush up to meet him as he fell to the rocky surface with a loud thud. His last act before passing out was to hold up a new sign.

-Et tu, Genma?-

The wily martial artist in training spared the brown canine a halfway apologetic look, but any feelings of guilt were quickly dispelled by the knowledge that he could finally leave this inhospitable land of accidents around every corner and more explosions per hour than in an entire summer of Hollywood blockbusters. "At last I can return to Master Happosai in triumph!" Genma crowed victoriously. "Now, with this bird and the rabbit Soun's hopefully nabbed we'll have all the ingredients for the feast Master Happosai has planned and manage to avoid his terrible displeasure!"

"Beep-Beep!"

The noise from behind him came as suddenly and unexpectedly as his own tapping of Wile E. Coyote's shoulder a minute ago, and with an enormous feeling of dread the young Genma turned around. The Road Runner, as serene as ever and no longer ensnared, smiled up at him. The martial artist, eyes wide in surprise, glanced quickly at the now empty cage before returning his sight to its previous target. "How-how did you escape?" he asked incredulously, hopes for leaving soon disappearing faster than a Nintendo Wii in a store during the 2006 holiday season.

"Beep-Beep!" Having answered the young human's question in its own way, the Road Runner then proceeded to do what it did best and dashed away at ludicrous speeds. Genma choked on the roadrunner-shaped cloud of dust the bird left in its wake and shook his fists angrily.

"You're not getting away that easily, Road Runner! Just you-" A rapidly growing dark shadow overhead stopped Genma in mid-angry articulation, and the young martial artist looked up into the sky just in time to cringe as the boulder Wile E. Coyote had expected to be hit with at any second finally arrived.

**THUD!**

And landed on him instead.

**Ka-BOOM!**

The boulder was also, for some inexplicable reason, explosive.

Wile E. Coyote, having begun to regain consciousness just in time to watch his betrayer suffer the punishment he normally endured, chuckled soundlessly and slowly rose to his feet. The carnivore walked over to the thoroughly battered and comatose Genma and kicked the youth in the side once or twice out of spite.

-Serves you right.- Returning his sign from whence it came, the incorrigible coyote gazed at the brilliant horizon where his prey had sped off to and prepared to follow. Before he could start running, though, his long ears heard a noise he was all too accustomed with.

**CRACK!**

The sound of the cliff ledge he was standing on cracking and crumbling beneath his feet. Wile E. Coyote released a resigned sigh and held up a comically small umbrella as, sure enough, the rock face he and Genma were on collapsed and sent the two hapless hunters tumbling to the desert floor below.

**THUD!**

It would be several hours before either stirred again.

000ooo000000ooo000

-Shortly thereafter, I prudently decided to quit and begged Happosai for forgiveness for returning empty-handed. I did not complete the Trial of the Road Runner, but if Ryouga has succeeded in that challenge then fighting him with conventional means is futile. Your only hope now is the tried and true Saotome School of Anything Goes Martial Arts Maken Dōkoku Ha technique!(2)-

Ranma-chan, Akane, and Soun squinted as they read the last of the story Genma had somehow managed to fit all on one sign, and once Ranma-chan reached the end of the text she grabbed the signboard from Genma-panda's claws and smashed it over his black and white head.

"Like I'd really use such a useless and stupid technique!" the redhead shouted, offended at the very suggestion. In a huff, she leapt off her cursed father and landed gracefully on the porch so she stood in front of him. The young martial artist cracked her knuckles ominously and smiled savagely. "Now then, old man, do you actually have anything helpful to say or do I have to beat the substance of this trial out of your furry hide?"

Moving surprisingly fast for a panda, Genma suddenly stopped his cowering and stretched out his right leg, sliding it across the floor in flash of black fur that Ranma-chan barely avoided tripping over and which forced her to lunge backwards onto the yard. Now with some distance between them, Genma-panda rose to his full formidable height and gazed down at the redhead who'd reflexively fallen into a defensive stance. Rather than initiate a battle, though, the elder Saotome held up a placating paw that was quickly accompanied by another sign.

-Enough, boy. There is nothing I can say that'll help you here. Even if I shared every detail of my harrowing experiences it is impossible to duplicate the Trial of the Road Runner. The only thing you can do is take the teachings of Anything Goes Martial Arts and at last prove that you are a worthy heir to my wisdom by devising your own counter. I have the utmost faith in you.-

Without further aplomb, Genma-panda turned around, lay down, and promptly fell asleep. Ranma-chan's entire body went uncomfortably rigid in a mixture of irritation and exasperation at her father's uselessness, and it took all of her considerable willpower not to kick him into the next ward. Very slowly and with the occasional twitch, she turned her piercing blue eyes on Soun.

"Please tell me you have something to say that's more useful than the garbage my dad's been spewing?" Ranma-chan asked desperately. "What about your own trial that Happosai sent you on? How'd that go?"

Soun tensed and abruptly stood up from where he'd been sitting. "I'm sorry, Ranma, but I don't want to talk about that wousy wabbit. Some stories are better left untold." While Ranma digested his words, the Tendo patriach hastily retreated to the comparative safety of the house where the tantalizing aroma of Kasumi's labors (coincidentally and thankfully for Soun's state of mind completely lacking in carrots) in the kitchen welcomed him with more warmth than one of Lina Inverse's fireballs.

Akane and Ranma-chan exchanged an exasperated look over the quirkiness of their fathers, this being one of the rare occasions when the two engaged youths were in total agreement with each other. As was inevitable, though, Ranma-chan ruined the uncharacteristically congenial moment with her next words.

"So...the only way I can beat Ryouga is to undergo the Trial of the Road Runner myself, is that it? Hmph, well, I could always swim to North America..." the devoted martial artist mused aloud, unaware (but not for long!) of the effect her words were having on a certain mercurial young woman standing nearby.

"Ranma, you'd really...you'd really drop everything and leave Nerima behind just so you can beat Ryouga in a duel?" Akane asked, unable to hide the note of sorrow and disappointment in her voice as she gazed at her fiancé with a face marked by incredulity. "What about your life here? And school and your friends and family?" One could almost hear the unspoken 'What about me?'

"Er..." Ranma-chan answered less than smoothly, knowing she was walking into a verbal minefield but unable to find an exit despite her tactical brilliance. "Well...ya see, maybe...even if I did go to North America it would only be a month or two, so it's not like I'd be gone forever and you'd have to worry 'bout me, ya know? Training is part of a martial artist's life and...well...ahem..."

Rather than respond, Akane merely looked at her sadly and then turned and headed back into the house, keeping her eyes locked straight ahead. Ranma-chan almost reached out for her but stopped herself before her arm had risen even halfway. Instead, she merely cursed under her breath once, stretched, and began going through katas in the yard. After all, she did have a rematch in less than a week she needed to get ready for and who knew? She was a martial arts prodigy and could probably create a counter all on her own without undergoing the Trial of the Road Runner herself, just like her father had recommended in the few seconds he hadn't spouted his usual foolishness. Plus, there was always Cologne. Surely the old woman would know something that could help her.

000ooo000000ooo000

"Nope, there's nothing I can do to help you, Son-in-Law. Nadda."

Ranma's mouth opened in shock as he stared at the uncharacteristically flippant Amazon matriarch, and the shrunken, shriveled elder balancing on top of her staff and sipping a can of cola through a straw stared back. Above, the mid-afternoon sun shone down on them and the empty lot they currently occupied, clearly visible and for once unobstructed by the legion of storm clouds just waiting for their chance to rain on a Jusenkyo victim.

"Oh c'mon, you can't be serious! There's got to be something you can teach me to counter Ryouga's training!" Ranma spoke disbelievingly and with the knowledge that his rematch against the Eternally Lost Boy was another day closer and if he didn't come up with something soon he'd lose in front of a crowd of people. He was determined not to let that happen because, as far as he was concerned, Satome Ranma simply didn't lose and wasn't about to start now! Losing once would start him down the slippery slope of losing again and maybe even again after that, and if he couldn't be the best than what was the point of all his training? He might as well give up martial arts and become a submissive housewife if he couldn't hope for better than being second-best.

Much to the pigtailed boy's unease, Cologne's ancient features wrinkled up in amusement. "Ho ho ho, it may be a new word for me but what part of 'nadda' don't you understand, Son-in-Law? The Trial of the Road Runner is one of the famous Ancient Challenges of Martial Expertise, and there is no means to duplicate its unique training features in such a way as to bestow the same unmatched speed and resilience those who complete the trial gain." The elder's crooked smile grew even larger as she continued. "There are other trials in this world that rival the Trial of the Road Runner, of course, but they are just as hard if not harder to find. You wouldn't stand a chance of completing them in time for your next duel, even with Ryouga's notorious lateness. Swallow your pride and accept defeat, Son-in-Law. That's my advice for you."

Swallowing the defiant retort on the tip of his tongue instead of his pride, Ranma gazed intently at the ancient martial arts master with his penetrating blue eyes. "Do you honestly expect me to believe that, Cologne?" he asked, the challenging edge in his voice impossible to miss. "You are the matriarch of the Chinese Amazons and inheritor of all their thousands of years of secrets and knowledge. I _know_ there's more that you're not telling me."

Cologne met her prospective great-grandson's gaze head-on, not about to be cowed by anyone several generations her junior. Instantly she was all seriousness, and her next words were as hard and uncompromising as rock. "Perhaps, Son-in-Law, perhaps. There may be a few techniques I could teach that would allow you to just possibly hold your own against someone who's completed the Trial of the Road Runner, but such knowledge is forbidden to outsiders. Even among us elders such rare and powerful techniques are discussed only in hushed whispers, and to blithely share such talk with you when there's nothing more than foolish masculine pride on the line...why, that would be taboo." Her crooked smile suddenly returned, but it was ice cold and lacked any mirth at all. "If you accepted your place as Shampoo's groom and joined the tribe things might be different, but we both know the answer to that question, don't we Son-in-Law? Until you're willing to take that step there is nothing I can do to help you in this matter, so the question you should be asking yourself is not 'How can I win?' but rather 'How much do I want to win?' Well?"

The two continued to stare at each other for a long moment, the older with cool satisfaction and the younger with obstinacy and a mixture of complex, contradictory emotions. Ranma was the first to look away, but any uncertainty he felt was quickly masked by his usual veneer of confidence. "Feh, like it even matters. I don't need your help nor Dad's to beat Ryouga. I'll win on my own if that's what it takes, so thanks for nothing old crone!"

"Hoho!" Cologne remarked tauntingly, voice laced with scorn. "Believe what you want to, Son-in-Law, but unless you're as dense as the young Kuno Tatewaki your next duel against Ryouga will open your eyes to the truth of your situation. Come see me again after that if you change your mind." With one last sip the elder finished her cola and, treating her staff like a pogo-stick, bounced out of the lot and out of sight. The last Ranma heard of her was the sound of a metal can being tossed into a nearby recycle bin, proof that even centuries old martial artists did their part to save the planet.

"No-good old hag! Good riddance!"

Even if it was unappreciated by the young.

000ooo000000ooo000

The day of the duel had finally arrived, and Ranma was feeling confident. This was par the norm since Ranma would feel confident even if he came to a match with one arm broken, the other tied behind his back, and obsessive fiancées with deathgrips on both of his legs. More than mere natural temperament, though, the raven-haired martial artist had an angle. Ryouga's supersonic uppercut, whatever he called it, could be countered by simply staying low to the ground and giving the Eternally Lost Boy no opportunity to naturally uppercut him, and even if Ryouga was faster and tougher now he knew his rival's fighting style inside-out and could pre-empt the persistent Hibiki's attacks. Besides, Genma and Cologne were probably exaggerating. Just how much could Ryouga possibly improve in only one month anyway even with a legendary martial arts challenge under his belt?

Of course, none of this mattered until Ryouga arrived and the match actually began, and since Ryouga was the Eternally Lost Boy no one expected his presence for another day or three. Hence the athletic field at Furinkan High where duels usually took place was largely empty except for a patiently waiting Ranma and Akane and the normal crowd of students milling about the school. Clutching tightly to her staff, Cologne expertly perched atop the high school's roof and vigilantly watched the developments or lack thereof on the ground, a silent observer to the dramatic confrontation that was about to unfold...once the Eternally Lost Boy showed up.

"Are you sure about going through with this Ranma?" Akane asked, watching her smug fiancé with a mixture of irritation and concern. "If what Genma said is true you don't stand a chance, so maybe you'd be better off waiting till you've improved some?"

The young Saotome heir rolled his eyes as he turned to face her. "Jeez Akane, if I didn't know better I'd say you actually wanted me to lose! Just 'cause Ryouga's gotten a lucky punch or two in is no reason ta start fretting! I know I can win this duel and I even have a plan so stop worrying!"

"I'm _not_ worrying, idiot!" Akane protested heatedly, throwing up her hands in frustration. "And your last 'plan' was dressing up as a cheerleader to sweet talk him! I certainly hope you have something that doesn't involve mini-skirts in mind this time!"

Ranma almost looked offended. "Please, like I really need a short skirt to defeat Ryouga! And there was nothing wrong with that plan either. It worked and gave me the info I needed to win so stop complaining already!" He sighed in exasperation. "C'mon, don't get jealous just 'cause my female body is cuter than yours."

The veins in the blue-haired Tendo's forehead throbbed and a crackling red aura materialized around her slender frame, promising pain and violence to the oblivious target of her ire. Before the customary mallet could appear in her waiting hands, though, she was interrupted by a familiar voice.

"Ranma, how dare you insult Akane in front of me! Prepare to die!"

Ranma and Akane pivoted and gazed at the well-traveled figure of Hibiki Ryouga with surprise. From a distance of several yards on the other side of the field, the Eternally Lost Boy stared back, anger in his eyes aimed at his longtime rival. As his vision swept across Akane, though, his gaze softened and a look of such longing and elation that it could be compared to what travelers lost in a desert who suddenly find an oasis feel crept into his eyes. The object of his affection was, of course, blissfully oblivious to this and before she could become aware of the intense weight of his scrutiny her fiancé spoke with unmistakable shock in his voice.

"How the heck did you get here so quickly, P-chan? You're only five minutes late!"

The Eternally Lost Boy refocused his undivided attention on his pigtailed rival and, uncharacteristically, smirked as he crouched down and let his backpack slide off his shoulders to the ground. He reached for his red umbrella with his left hand as the Furinkan student body rushed over and settled around the field, the news of Ryouga's amazingly close to on time arrival and the impending duel having swept across the campus faster than a Final Fantasy game breaks sales records. "Like I would really miss the chance to have my revenge, Ranma," Ryouga spoke as he rose to his feet with a self-assurance that looked totally out of place on him. "I hope you've enjoyed your time in the spotlight because, today, it all ends for you!"

"Feh, as if P-chan!" Ranma replied cockily, hands going to the sides of his waist as an arrogant grin appeared on his face. "I've already got a few counters to your new moves running through my head, and even if the gods take pity on you and you somehow, _miraculously_, pull off a victory here I know where you trained and can always undergo the Trial of the Road Runner myself."

Knowing that a battle was inevitable Akane had joined the spectators ringed around the field, and she suddenly tensed at those words from where she stood between her friends Sayuri and Yuka. Her two classmates turned and saw the blue-haired teenager nibbling her lower lip, perhaps out of worry, but they knew better than to ask right then and instead drew closer to their friend to offer her their silent support. Akane smiled weakly to show her gratitude, but before she or anyone else could say anything they were interrupted by a completely unexpected and nearly unheard of sound.

"Ha ha! Hahaha! Ha!"

The sound of Ryouga laughing, not maniacally or nervously or even what passed for scheming for the Eternally Lost Boy but rather out of sheer amusement and complete hilarity. The uproarious laughter continued for over thirty seconds before Ryouga managed to get a hold of himself, and even then his sides continued to shake with suppressed mirth as he rose to his full height and met Ranma's by now thoroughly perplexed gaze.

"Heh, as much as the thought of you experiencing the same torture I went through chasing that bird amuses me, Ranma, it's pointless." Ryouga raised the thumb of his free hand and pointed at himself. "That misadventure was only the start of my training, and trust me when I say that I've gone _far_ beyond what I learned in that desert."

His pig-tailed opponent blinked once and attempted to hide the unease he was beginning to feel, less at Ryouga's words and more at how the Lost Boy was acting. He'd seen his longtime rival confident and certain of impending victory before, of course, and he only needed to think back to when Ryouga learned the Breaking Point technique to remember how out of control he could get. However, he couldn't think of any time where magic, drugs, or too many knocks to the head with mallets or spatulas weren't involved when he'd seen the Lost Boy so utterly at ease and relaxed. It was as if Ryouga didn't consider him a threat at all and was merely _humoring_ him by going through the rituals of a duel, and that sense irritated the pigtailed martial artist to no end. A frown formed on his sturdy features.

"Strong words for a pig, Ryouga. Why don't we see whether you can actually back them up?" Ranma taunted, crouching back low to the ground in a defensive stance and waiting to see what his challenger would do. He wouldn't have to wait long.

The Eternally Lost Boy's confident smile grew as he suddenly stood ramrod straight, lifted his arms so they were perpendicular to his body, and prepared to shout at the top of his lungs to the heavens...only to almost violently stop whatever he was about to do and look around worriedly at the excited student body surrounding the field on all sides. He nervously scratched the back of his head with his free hand for a moment and, when he next spoke, it was in a voice that almost sounded embarrassed. "Um...excuse me, but could all of you...please move back several yards? _Way_ farther than that...a little more...yeah, by the school should be good. That goes for you too, Ranma. I want to beat you deliberately, not by accident."

The raven-haired youth face-vaulted as the Furinkan student body slowly backed away with confused expressions on their faces. "Will you just hurry up and attack?" Ranma screeched impatiently, fists clenching and unclenching in irritation as he stubbornly refused to backpedal. The Lost Boy examined him closely and almost seemed about to say something before changing his mind and shrugging once dismissively.

For the second time in as many minutes, Ryouga's body became ramrod straight as he lifted his arms and umbrella above his head and screamed at the sky. It was a powerful scream of indescribable determination and resolve that rattled the bones of all those who heard it, but even more startling than the violent howl emerging from the Lost Boy's lungs was the sudden shaking of the ground that reverberated in tune with Ryouga's voice. The dust and dirt around the Lost Boy began to rise into the air in a gradually widening circle that stopped just short of Ranma, and then to everyone's further amazement the very earth itself split and tore itself apart around the Lost Boy and soared up into the sky in massive chunks. And still Ryouga's scream increased in volume and the earthquake grew in strength and more and more of the terrain surrounding the bandana-wearing boy broke free of the earth and levitated, continuing on and on in an ever more violent and intense display of power.

And then...Ryouga began to glow.

The sight of Ryouga glowing with verdant ki was not a new one to Ranma or the teenage onlookers. Indeed, the Eternally Lost Boy was a veritable light show when depressed, and with depression being one of his most well-known emotional states shortly behind anger at Ranma it was almost like being treated to a fireworks display when he was in the neighborhood. No, what took people's breathes away was not so much the green glow silhouetting his body but rather the pulsing. To the observers it almost looked like there was another aura buried within Ryouga's ki-smoldering frame struggling to escape and throbbing in time with the Lost Boy's heartbeat, and as the pulses quickened in speed the air crackled with discharges of green energy that resembled lightning. And then, though it hardly seemed possible, Ryouga screamed even louder as his arms shot into the air above his head and the power he possessed finally erupted from his frame in a jade column of overwhelmingly potent ki that completely enveloped the space around him for several yards in every direction.

The verdant pillar of power, reminiscent of a Perfect ShiShiHoukoudan but far more impressive, rose higher and higher into the sky and parted the clouds themselves as it ascended. How high the column reached Ranma had no clue, but Ryouga's howl abruptly stopped and suddenly the tremendous power he was emitting seemed to reverse direction and all at once return to its owner. Though it seemed impossible to the Saotome heir that one body could possibly hold so much ki, the Lost Boy's massive aura shrank and contracted around him till even his illuminated silhouette disappeared. A second later, gravity caught up with what fragments remained of the field and the debris rained down upon the gigantic crater in which the young Hibiki stood at the epicenter of.

Ranma remained glued in place at the very edge of the manmade depression, Ryouga's aura having halted its expansion mere inches from him although the Saotome heir knew deep in his gut that if the Lost Boy had desired he could have encompassed the entire school ground and possibly the whole neighborhood in his display. As his classmates watched on in awe and perhaps even fear from further back and Cologne watched in wide-eyed amazement, the raven-haired boy tried to think of something - anything! - he could do, some course of action he could implement, but nothing came to mind. It was all he could do to think straight let alone strategize as his mind and martial artist senses struggled to process the inconceivable feat they'd just witnessed, but they were all but overwhelmed by the sheer power Ranma detected still coming from the Lost Boy.

"It's over."

The tone in which Ryouga spoke was strangely detached and somber, but the words jolted Ranma out of his astonished daze and the young martial artist finally sprang into action. Maybe he could use the Saotome School of Anything Goes Martial Arts Secret Technique-(3)

Ranma wasn't even able to follow Ryouga's movement. One moment the Lost Boy was at the bottom of the crater but even before the moment passed he reappeared in mid-air dead-even with where the ground used to be and then he was standing in front of Ranma with the upraised palm of his right hand facing the Saotome heir. A spark of ki appeared in front of the hand, and then the next and last thing Ranma felt was his entire awareness disappear into green light.

000ooo000000ooo000

Nerima Ward's reaction to the release of Ryouga's inhuman ki was exactly what one would expect – life went on as it normally did in Nerima's typically abnormal fashion. The ward's residents were familiar with (and in some cases unhappily overly familiar with) centuries old martial artists, ancient Jusenkyo curses, supernatural occurrences, and superhuman feats. They had seen flying ships and what was essentially a winged minotaur. Moreover, many of them knew one Tendo Kasumi by name, and the eldest Tendo daughter's serenity and sheer good-heartedness were so mind-bogglingly great as to make everything else in Nerima seem downright normal in comparison. The sight of an aura powerful enough to level the entire city was, therefore, merely regarded as the curiosity of the week if even that.

There was one person in Nerima, though, who was reacting very strongly to the events that had occurred earlier in the day and for good reason since he'd been at ground zero and on the receiving end of the Eternally Lost Boy's attack. As he sat sulking on the wooden floor of the Tendo Dojo that evening, Saotome Ranma replayed the fight over and over again in his mind and tried to make sense of it. His body was still sore from the ki-blast it had borne, but the Saotome heir begrudgingly knew that if Ryouga had wanted the directionally challenged martial artist could have vaporized him with the power he'd summoned. He'd gotten off lucky with only a few aches and pains and a bout with unconsciousness.

That knowledge hadn't comforted Ranma any when he'd woken up at Dr. Tofu's clinic, however, and the pigtailed martial artist had irritably shrugged off the concerned looks and questions of his friends and family, staying only long enough to learn that Ryouga had left shortly after his victory at Furinkan High and was currently wandering Nerima in his unpredictable fashion. Ignoring the protests of the Tendos and his father, he'd immediately made a beeline to the Nekohanten to track down Cologne and learn her reading of the battle. He'd found the Amazon elder waiting for him outside the restaurant, grim-faced and unusually forthright. Ryouga had surpassed even what she'd believed were the limits of human power and she'd been so surprised at the intensity of his ki that she'd actually fallen off her staff, the wizened matriarch had candidly admitted. She'd then gone on to say that, whether he married Shampoo or not, there was nothing she could teach him that would enable him to defeat the Lost Boy.

Why Cologne had been so honest with him Ranma didn't know, but he suspected that even the Amazon elder had been shaken to the core of her being by his rival's display and that she was probably still reeling from the experience. Her ki senses were far more advanced than his own, after all, and witnessing an eruption of ki like that was probably comparable to going to a sold-out heavy metal concert when all that you normally listened to was folk on the radio. Besides, as wily as Cologne could be she was also honorable in her own way and wouldn't promise him something she couldn't deliver.

Which brought the young Saotome heir back to his current dilemma: how could he triumph over Ryouga now that the Lost Boy was more overpowered than a sumo wrestler at a children's eating contest?

"It just doesn't make sense," Ranma muttered unhappily, slamming his right hand to the floor in anger. "How could P-chan possibly improve so much in just _one_ month? He's fighting like he has the Mark of the Gods again without the Mark!" He briefly contemplated whether his rival was using another gimmick but quickly dismissed the idea. In his experience gimmicks always had a price – the more powerful the gimmick the higher the cost – which Ryouga wasn't showing any signs of, and while he didn't think very highly of the Lost Boy his rival had a strong enough sense of fair play and such a terrible poker face that if he was using some trick to win everyone and their dog would know about it by now. Well, everyone and their dog except for Akane since she could be awfully dense at times...

_Tip-tip-tip._

The young martial artist tensed at the sound of approaching footsteps, fearing that it was Akane who'd somehow read his mind and was coming to mallet him but rejecting the idea as his more logical side took hold and pointed out that the footsteps were far too light to belong to his fiancée. No, judging by the sound the person approaching was very small, very light, and-

**SPLASH!**

"Sweet-o!"

_SMACK!_

-very perverted.

"Dirty old man, go away!" Ranma-chan shouted in an annoyed voice, glaring at the diminutive and shriveled figure lying prone on the ground with a massive bump on his head from where she'd just punched him off her transformed and suddenly extensive bosom. For his part, the dirty old man known and loathed as Happosai sprang back to his feet with strength that belied his ancient appearance and a low to the ground hop that took him out of Ranma-chan's reach.

"Show proper respect to your elders, boy! It pains an old man like myself to see such callous disrespect from the young these days!" Happosai retorted with about as much sincerity as the stereotypical used car salesman. He made a motion to dust off his red jumpsuit and then unceremoniously sat down on the wooden floor across from the object of his unwanted attention. "Anyway, I heard about your defeat to Ryouga today and came to offer my condolences. Who'd have thought that Hibiki boy would ever gain such power?" An indecipherable emotion briefly entered Happosai's eyes and, for a second, the old man almost looked like the martial arts sage he claimed to be, but the debauchery that usually clouded his vision soon returned.

"Your concern touches me from the bottom of my heart," the buxom red-head replied sarcastically. "Now go away!" In a second Ranma-chan had risen from her seated position and aimed a kick at where Happosai had been sitting. The old martial artist easily dodged the attack and the punches that followed as his cursed opponent lashed out.

"Tsk tsk, getting a little slow, are we Ranma-chan? No wonder Ryouga was able to defeat you," the Grandmaster of Anything Goes chided, taking out his pipe from his pocket and parrying the young martial artist's next several attacks effortlessly. He sighed theatrically. "If this is the best you can do, then perhaps you're not worthy of being the school's heir after all. And here I actually thought you might be able to overcome Ryouga with the knowledge I was going to impart..."

This brought the spirited redhead up short, and she warily ended her assault and slipped into a defensive stance as she eyed Happosai guardedly. Under normal circumstances the Saotome heir would have done a complete 180 degree rotation in personality and suddenly show newfound respect for her elder, but after Cologne's assessment she was more cautious now and knew that it would take more than a new technique to rout her rival. Plus, unlike Cologne, Happosai could and would lie for no reason other than his own perverse amusement.

"Speak, old man, and what ya haveta say better be worth hearing unless you want to get punted through the roof! I want to know what you can possibly do to help me that Cologne can't!"

The ancient lecher feigned injury. "You hurt me with your words, Ranma, but since you're the only halfway decent heir to the Anything Goes School there currently is I'll let your ingratitude pass this once. Now, as for what I can teach you that Cologne can't, quite a bit actually. You do me a disservice comparing me to the likes of her since I know every dirty trick she does and have stooped far lower." He smiled slightly at some memory only he knew. "Still, you're right that there's nothing I can teach you that'll give you the edge needed to defeat Ryouga. He has gone beyond anything Anything Goes was designed to handle."

The amused master martial artist was immediately treated to the familiar sight of an angry redhead about to explode and let him have a piece of her mind (and impart grievous bodily injury too if she had her way), but Happosai interrupted the impending tirade with a raised hand signaling he wasn't done speaking yet.

"HOWEVER," he spoke loudly and clearly, "I do know where you can go to receive training that'll let you regain the advantage in the little rivalry the two of you have going. Anything Goes is the ultimate style of martial arts when it comes to versatility and adaptability and it is unmatched in the realm of aerial grappling. Against a normal opponent Anything Goes all but assures victory, but even Anything Goes has limits and cannot compensate for the power gap that currently exists between you and Ryouga."

The Grandmaster of Anything Goes lowered his voice to just above a whisper and assumed a solemn air, as if he was imparting secret knowledge of fundamental importance. "There is another school of martial arts, though, that has found a way to overcome skill and power gaps. Its style is unorthodox and its methods unfathomable, but it is an ancient art against which even I have proven defenseless. If you master it then truly you will become unbeatable."

Ranma-chan considered Happosai's words carefully, puzzling through them and searching for some hidden catch. Her eyebrows narrowed as she looked down at him suspiciously. "And why are you telling me this, Happosai? What do you get out of it?"

The ancient lecher angrily smacked the redhead with the end of his pipe, knocking her into one of the dojo's walls. "How dare you impugn my pure motives?" he decried histrionically, glaring at the dazed martial artist as she slid to the floor. "Is it wrong for me to want my student to be the best? To learn every worthwhile style of martial arts there is and use them to improve Anything Goes? You insult me, Ranma, and I demand an apology if you want to hear more!"

Still seeing stars, Ranma-chan blearily and reluctantly bowed before Happosai. "Alright old man, I'm s-s-sorry. Now tell me, what's the name of this school of martial arts you're talking about?"

The Grandmaster of Anything Goes couldn't keep the depraved grin off his face as he answered her question. "The style I speak of is...the School of Pretty Magical Girl Martial Arts!"

**SMACK!**

"Pervert! You just want to see me fight in a skirt, don't you!" Ranma-chan shouted furiously at the departing figure of Happosai as her enraged uppercut sent him soaring through the dojo's roof and upward into the lower stratosphere. Breathing heavily from anger the redhead glared at the vanishing speck that was the ancient lecher, only calming down when he'd completely disappeared from view and she was certain that he wouldn't be back for at least a couple hours. As her rage subsided, though, a thought occurred to Ranma-chan and she groaned in disbelief.

"Aw man, I can't believe that tomboy was actually right. I might need a mini-skirt to defeat Ryouga after all!"

000ooo000000ooo000

"Jadeite, appear."

Although the voice was all but devoid of emotion and spoke in a tone barely above a whisper, the words were unmistakably a command. In a flash of blue magical light the former general of the Dark Kingdom promptly materialized, blond-haired head bowed and one knee on the translucent floor. Clad in the gray military uniform of the defeated Queen Beryl's army, the only sign the slender young man's relatively youthful appearance gave of his true age was the coldness of his blue eyes that had seen far too much to list in his millennia of years.

"What is your command, mistress?" Jadeite intoned passionlessly, going through the familiar motions of vassalage more out of habit than any true devotion to his current sovereign. As the highest ranked survivor of the Dark Kingdom remained bowed and awaited his next orders, he took special care not to let his lowered eyes be overwhelmed by the infinity that surrounded him in all directions. The heavens may be mostly darkness, but here space burned with the glow of billions of stars. No matter where one looked, the cosmos in its full grandeur lay spread out with its innumerable spinning spheres and countless celestial phenomena, a neverending cornucopia of light and action and beauty that could drive the unprepared to indescribable heights of both ecstasy and agony. Had he not already been half-mad from the effects of Eternal Sleep when he'd first been brought here, Jadeite was certain he would have gone insane from the overwhelming experience of seeing every star and every world in, as he'd later learned, every dimension encircling him.

"I have chosen your next target."

The same nearly emotionless voice spoke using the exact same inflection as before, and Jadeite raised his head to gaze at his ancient master. In the center of the transparent circle he stood on was a smaller circular depression with half-a-dozen masterly crafted concentric steps leading down to its bottom, and there the only other humanoid figure in this impossible plane stood kneeling before a vertical disk of such darkness, such emptiness, such _entropy_ that the former general's mind recoiled even at the merest sign of its existence as he intently kept his vision locked on the back of his mistress rather than the levitating circle. It was a shade of darkness darker than black, a color that did not and could not exist and seared itself on a watcher's psyche because of what it was not instead of what it was.

It was the Gateway to Oblivion.

It was Void.

And most disturbing of all to the Dark Kingdom refugee, his master and savior gazed straight at the fathomless, bottomless depths of this entropic nightmare without the slightest sign of strain. A plain black cloak and hood shrouded his mistress, but against the darker pitch of the nothingness that floated before her the curves and outline of a well-proportioned female body could just be discerned. Beside her to the left was a key-shaped metal staff that looked vaguely mechanical and seemed to be standing straight on its own power. Jadeite had practically worshipped her once, back when she had rescued him from the unending torment and solitude of Queen Beryl's cruel punishment. Now, having witnessed her rare but soul-chillingly beautiful smile as world after world fell to the terrifying force she called forth through that dark abyss, the blond mystic feared her more than he ever had his former queen or even Empress Metallia. They, at least, had possessed desires he could understand and fathom, lusts for power and control he could appeal to and reason with, but his new sovereign possessed a singular, unchanging purpose whose attainment would lead to the end of all things. He followed her because to do otherwise and defy her awesome power meant death, but the wages of his service amounted to little more than extra time that would disappear along with everything else when his mistress attained her wish.

It was almost enough to make an unrepentantly evil, energy-draining villain like himself consider joining - of all the distasteful things - a _union_.

Either unaware or indifferent about her servant's disloyal and quasi-progressive thoughts, the cloaked figure raised one slender, gloved hand and pointed to a tiny blue and green sphere off in the distance that immediately increased in size. Jadeite inclined his head to regard the globe and nearly groaned at the overly familiar planet. "Earth again, my mistress? Haven't we already terminated a thousand variants of that world?"

"One thousand two-hundred fifty-seven variants, to be precise," the dark mistress answered in the same detached tone. "The Vogons unknowingly helped us when they deleted that entire probability axis, but for the desired effect more Earths yet must fall. You know what you must do." Her raised hand became a clenched fist, and as she opened her hand again a black portal seven feet in diameter simultaneously sprang into existence beside Jadeite. An overhead view of Tokyo's bustling, metropolitan cityscape could be seen on the other side of the disc. "There will be consequences if you fail, Jadeite."

The blond mystic nodded his head and rose to his feet, terrified less by his master's threat than by the cold, detached voice she had articulated it with. He had failed before and survived. His mistress knew that in the infinite cosmos a few of her targets were bound to have the means to resist her, and setbacks could be tolerated so long as they did not compromise the ultimate objective which was larger than any single planet. Her punishments, though severe, were not lethal because terminating him over a temporary failure would mean the loss of a useful resource. Queen Beryl and Empress Metallia would have shown heated excitement at the prospect of destroying a world and outrage at being thwarted. His new sovereign had caused the obliteration of countless worlds and been denied on but a few scant occasions, but she always acted with a heartless pragmatism that chilled even his hardened soul. There was something disturbing on a fundamental level – even to him – when the termination of thriving planets was treated as routine, but his mistress seemed unaffected by her callous actions.

Almost feeling a sense of relief at the prospect of leaving his pitiless master and that-that patch of _nothingness_ behind him, Jadeite turned and stepped through the portal to the new world that awaited his presence and the coming of oblivion. A world where the fates were conspiring to produce a new champion to meet the incoming threat. A world that, coincidences of coincidences, just happened to have been featured prominently in the preceding scenes of this story.

Honestly, what were the odds?

* * *

Author's Notes:

(1) Porunga is the Namekian Dragon and grants three wishes. In this story's continuity, I've decided that Ryouga caught the tail-end of Season One and stayed in the DBZ universe till sometime after the Frieza Saga. In order not to delay anyone's resurrection, Ryouga waited and was wished to New Namek with the other surviving Nameks where he trained until Porunga could be summoned again. So, all told, he probably spent somewhere between two and three years away from Nerima from his perspective.

(2) Howl of the Demon Dog, according to Viz's translation. It's a technique Genma showed Ranma when the latter was trying to learn the ShiShiHoukoudan and goes as follows: assume the stance, slide back as you gather your ki, focus your ki once you've reached a good distance, and then...act as if losing is no big deal. Unsurprisingly, Ranma was not impressed.

(3) The Saotome School of Anything Goes Martial Arts Secret Technique being to, essentially, run away until you think of a way to win.

Addendum: As stated in the teaser, this story is a sequel to Ryouga vs. the Road Runner. When I wrote that tale I had no intentions of writing a sequel, but the demand for one in the feedback got me thinking about what a sequel might look like. Simply having Ryouga return to Nerima and trounce Ranma would be mostly pointless, and avoiding that was one of the reasons why I ended the prequel on a Dragonball Z crossover rather than Ryouga finding his way back to the Tendo Dojo. Assuming the Lost Boy did find the Tendo Dojo again, though, what could Ranma possibly do against a character with a DBZ power-up? He would be overwhelmed unless he found some way to counter that ridiculous advantage, and since opposites offset each other...what's the opposite of overpowered DBZ fighters? Cute magical girls, of course! Or so the reasoning went, and the mental image of Magical Girl Ranko battling Z-Fighter Ryouga in Tokyo was so amusing that I felt compelled to write a sequel.

Now, chances are this story won't match the prequel in terms of quality since Ryouga vs. the Road Runner was one of those stories that practically write themselves and I could always turn to Youtube videos of Road Runner/Coyote cartoons for inspiration. In contrast, this tale is fragments of scenes and dialogue I want to depict and which I'm struggling to connect into a cohesive storyline so...expect things to be a little rougher, though I hope you'll still enjoy the finished product.

I feel I should also warn readers that there will likely be long waits between updates (i.e. months, not weeks). In the past I've postponed submitting stories to until they were completed because I tend to write _very_ slowly and didn't want to cause disappointment if I decided to discontinue a fanfic, but people have pointed out that I'm potentially missing out on helpful feedback and constructive criticism by doing that and in retrospect my previous multi-chapter Ranma 1/2 tale would probably have been better had the ending not already been written and largely fixed before I started posting chapters. So, apologies in advance for any unreasonably long interludes.

And if any of you are wondering about Jadeite's master, she is not an original character and if you think you know who she is you might be right. I don't plan to reveal her identity until later in the story at a suitably DRAMATIC MOMENT, but I'm not aiming for a plot twist here. She is who she is and I'm not going to make her appear to be someone else just to surprise everyone.

Anyway, there are a few people I want to thank. First, I want to express my gratitude to Kent Hyam whose intelligent and insightful short story "Mask of Victory, Face of Defeat" took a serious look at what the consequences could be on the cast if Ryouga did surpass Ranma. It helped me realize how much of a fanboy I was being years ago when I was toying around with an earlier version of Ryouga vs. the Road Runner that did take the largely senseless "Ryouga defeats Ranma because I want him to!" route.

Secondly, thanks go to Claymade. His hilarious one-shot "Right Place, Right Time" resurrected my interest in the prequel to this story and helped get me to finally start writing it.

Thirdly, I want to acknowledge the influence Lathis' fanfics have had on me. He has a superb and entertaining writing style that I am attempting to learn from and am even blatantly appropriating at times. They say imitation is the highest form of flattery, right?

Fourthly, Ashes2Ashes has my thanks for showing me just how successful and fun a completely irreverent story can be to read and write. I highly recommend his Summer Vacation fics if you haven't read them yet.

And finally, thank you to everyone who commented on the prequel. I really appreciated your generous and at times constructive remarks, and it is largely because of you that this story got rolling. So, in other words, this is all your fault!

Until next time.


	2. Chapter 2

Title: Magical Girl Ranko vs. Z-Fighter Ryouga

Author: Rowan Seven

Teaser: Ranma tries to get accepted into the School of Pretty Magical Girl Martial Arts, Jadeite attempts to harvest human energy, and Ryouga struggles to ask Akane out on a date. It should be obvious who has the most success here.

Disclaimer: Ranma 1/2, Dragonball Z, Sailor Moon, Looney Tunes, and any other series I might mention belong to their respective creators and copyright holders, as do the other characters and settings in this story that don't belong to me. I make no claims to these characters and am making no financial profit from writing this story.

Author's Notes: Marked with (#) and posted at the end.

* * *

Chapter 2 – Attack of the Terrifying Filler Chapter!

Jadeite kept a friendly smile on his face despite the contempt he felt for every single sack of flesh surrounding him, ringing up customers at one of the metropolis's many teeming outdoor morning markets with a false cheerfulness. The magics he'd weaved into his merchandise were already generating the desired effect, driving the diverse but largely female crowd of shoppers into a frenzy of excited consumerism rivaling even the bedlam of the American Black Friday. Already two middle-aged homemakers were strenuously arguing over something as mundane as a head of lettuce and looked like they might come to blows any minute, and that scene was repeated throughout the marketplace as the customers became increasingly animated and their energy levels correspondingly spiked.

-Fools- the blond general thought to himself, nodding politely at an elderly couple as he checked them out at the counter he was currently manning. -No matter how many worlds I visit, you pathetic humans always succumb to the same spells. It's no wonder my master succeeds so often when your race is so weak-willed that you cannot even resist such minor dark magic. You are all doomed.-

It was a testament to how jaded Jadeite had become that he didn't even feel a sudden urge to laugh diabolically like he used to. Despite his low opinion of humanity in general there was a small part of the ancient mystic that actually hoped each world he visited would somehow manage to resist his mistress' advances, but he had been disappointed far too often and knew that if this planet's inhabitants succumbed to such a simple spell their future prospects were remarkably bleak. There was nothing to exult over here – it was just another condemned world that would soon disappear into the Void, like thousands of others before it-

"Excuse me, but I would like to buy these vegetables."

The soft, gentle female voice caught Jadeite's attention, and he immediately snapped out of his inner monologue and directed his full attention to the speaker. What he saw nearly took his breath away. Jadeite's newest customer was an attractive brunette, beautiful in a wholesome, innocent way that was completely at odds with the sultry youma, decadent queens, and holier-than-thou heroines he was used to dealing with, but that was not what astonished him. Despite the half-dozen spells and incantations the vegetables in her bag were laced with, this woman's aura was entirely unaffected. He sensed nothing but a sea of tranquility coming from her, a life-force so serene it swept away everything else and could make even the vilest of creatures join hands and sing Kum Ba Yah.

"Um...excuse me..."

Realizing he was staring, the Dark Kingdom general coughed and lowered his head as he reached for the woman's bag. "Apologies, miss. I'm afraid you caught me while my mind was elsewhere." He started ringing up her purchases as his thoughts raced. "Will this be everything today? There are several good deals on fish at some of the other merchant stands here. I am sure they would appreciate your business."

The young lady pursed her lips together in a kindly smile. "Thank you for the suggestion, but I'm serving a salad tonight. These vegetables will be all I need. By the way..." There was just a hint of hesitation in her voice, as if she was afraid of saying something rude although Jadeite had the feeling that anything she said would be received warmly even if she cursed like a sailor. "Are you new here? I shop here often, and this is the first time I've seen you."

The blond illusionist didn't miss a beat as he continued to unobtrusively scrutinize her with his mystical senses, searching for a hidden power but sensing nothing inhuman about her. "I'm sojourning in this city for a little while and performing several odd jobs in the meantime. The owner of this stall is an old acquaintance of mine and wasn't feeling well-" The general didn't mention that he'd drained his energy and left the merchant asleep in his storeroom. "-so I stepped in. Here today, gone tomorrow is how I typically work, though, so chances are I'll be doing something else soon. That'll be four-thousand, eight-hundred twenty yen, by the way."

His customer gave him a five-thousand yen bill and continued speaking as he counted out change. "I see. Well, I hope you enjoy your time in Tokyo, Mister...?"

The mystic raised his head again to regard her with his piercing blue eyes and dismissed the false alias he had on the tip of his tongue. For some reason the thought of lying to this woman seemed...wrong, and it wasn't as if telling her the truth would make a difference in the greater scheme of things. Despite the serenity she emitted like a light bulb he detected no great power within her and nothing that could save her. "Jadeite," he answered as he handed his customer her change and began to re-bag her purchase. "My name is Jadeite."

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Mister Jadeite," the brunette said with a smile brighter than any star, bowing slightly by way of introduction. "My name is Kasumi. Tendo Kasumi."

000ooo000000ooo000

"Ryouga?"

"Yes, Ukyo?"

**CLANG!**

"For the umpteenth time, stop moping already! You defeated Ranma-honey and have become so mind-bogglingly powerful it...well, it boggles the mind! So cheer up and smile or something before your depression repels all of my customers!"

The Eternally Lost Boy looked up from the plate of expertly prepared okonomiyaki that lay before him to gaze at the dark-haired, attractive young chef and female martial artist standing behind the quaint restaurant's counter and holding a giant spatula that now had a large, Ryouga-shaped dent in it. "It's mid-morning on a Sunday, Ukyo. Most people have already eaten breakfast and are waiting for lunch before having another meal," he replied passively, defending himself out of habit despite his downcast mood.

For her part, the cute okonomiyaki chef gestured around Ucchan's – empty except for the two of them – with her monstrous cooking implement. "Even so I should still have more customers than this! My cooking is topnotch and famous around Nerima, so the only explanation for the low turnout is you and your gloominess! Nobody wants to eat when the atmosphere is sullen, and you look so morose I'm surprised you're not glowing." There was a moment of silence, and then Ukyo spoke again in a tone that brooked no argument. "And you'd better not start glowing, either! Out of control kis aren't good for business!"

Ryouga stared at her for a second with his brooding brown eyes, sighed, and returned to dispiritedly nibbling at his dish of okonomiyaki. Ukyo rolled her eyes and, concluding that her teasing wasn't doing anything to drag her sole customer out of his somber shell, decided to cut straight to the point. She set her spatula down against the counter and leaned over so she was at eye level with the Lost Boy. "Okay Ryouga, fess up. Tell me what's bothering you before I break my spatula over your thick head."

The Lost Boy glowered at her a moment, and for a second Ukyo was worried that Ryouga would withdraw even further within himself and wander off in a daze without saying anything more (and probably forgetting to pay too, that jerk!). However, his potential surliness quickly deflated and the okonomiyaki chef didn't even try to hide the smirk that formed on her features. Ryouga never could stand up to her...or any girl, for that matter, not even now that he had the power to vaporize the entire city in an instant.

"What was the point?" he asked wearily and, seeing his friend's confused expression, elaborated. "What was the point of my rivalry with Ranma? We fought for years, but now that I've defeated him...nothing has really changed." He sighed gloomily again. "I know it sounds silly, but I never really gave much thought about what would happen once I beat Ranma. It's always...been a dream of sorts, I guess, and I just assumed that somehow defeating him would make everything better."

He suddenly chuckled once, mirthlessly, and gazed down at the counter again. "Nothing could have been farther from the truth, though. Heh, I feel like such an idiot now, but if anything my victory over Ranma has only made things worse. Most of Nerima's afraid of me, and I made myself look like a bully in front of Akane. So, really, what was the point?"

**CLANG!**

Ukyo carefully examined her spatula, having flipped it over and slammed it against the Lost Boy's head again, and nodded in satisfaction to herself at how it was mostly bent back into shape. She then met Ryouga's puzzled and slightly irritated stare and opened her mouth to speak. "Ryouga, you used to be constantly depressed about how you almost always lost to Ranma. Now you're depressed over being stronger than Ranma. Surely even you with your thick skull can see what's wrong with those two statements. Grow up and act like a man, already! This is Nerima so your duel yesterday will be yesterday's news in less than a week and people will start treating you like a directionally-challenged maniac again in no time, if you're worried about that, and as for Akane...now's the perfect time to sweep her off her feet!"

Had Ryouga's danger sense been effective against harebrained schemes and manipulative members of the opposite sex instead of surprise attacks and incredibly powerful martial arts techniques, it would have screamed louder than a teen popstar's fans at a sold-out concert right then. Alas, like many male teenage martial artists, this was one area where Ryouga's inhuman training proved to be of no avail and he foolishly continued to listen rather than do the smart thing and run for the hills. The okonomiyaki chef, for her part, smiled...like a shark.

"Think about it, Ryouga! We both know Ranma, and he's probably driven everyone at the Tendo's up the wall with his frantic efforts to come up with a strategy to become number one again or embarked upon some crazy training. Either way, with him too busy to interfere now's your chance to make a move on Akane!" Ukyo's eyes lit up with excitement as she spoke and she couldn't have kept the smug, sly tone out of her voice even if she'd wanted to. "And I have just the plan! Invite Akane here to Ucchan's with the excuse that I'm looking for people to try a new okonomiyaki recipe and with my help sweet talk your way into her heart. Akane'll become your girlfriend, Ranma will be mine, and I'll get more business! We'll kill three birds with one stone!"

The Lost Boy felt his spirits lift at Ukyo's upbeat and encouraging words. There was truth to what she was saying, and, really, he hadn't fought so hard to stay alive against the saiyans and on Namek just so he could return home and mope. He wanted to be with Akane, and any dream worth having was worth fighting for. Besides, what could go wrong with such a simple plan-

"I'll even keep an eye out to make sure Ranma doesn't spoil things by tricking you with his female form again!"

Ryouga twitched and nearly face-vaulted, his spirits descending once again at Ukyo's cheery reminder. There was at least _one_ thing that could go wrong. He just hoped Ranma wasn't home when he paid the Tendo's a visit...

000ooo000000ooo000

Ranma-chan stood at the bottom of a long series of stone steps that led uphill to what Happosai had assured her was an ancient temple where Pretty Magical Girl Martial Arts was practiced. Slender trees stood proudly on both sides of the stairway and obscured its apex with their branches, preventing her from seeing what lay at the top beyond the traditional archway that allegedly demarcated the boundary between the material and spiritual worlds. In front of her on the right side of the stairs was a stone pillar about five feet in height bearing the name of the school. Parallel to the rock column on the other side of the stairs was a wooden, roofed booth where one would normally expect to see a shrine maiden selling charms. This kiosk, however, was abandoned save for a raven standing on the counter who almost seemed to be glaring at her. There was a placard on the back wall of the booth, but from this distance the young Saotome couldn't make out the words.

The martially talented redhead gazed upwards at the school's thus far surprisingly mundane complex and sighed, unhappy at wearing Furinkan's female school uniform (which, according to what little she knew about magical girls from the Sailor Moon manga she'd borrowed from Akane who'd denied owning it in the first place, should help her look the part) and having second thoughts about all this. Could Happosai be trusted? Could she live down whatever training she received here? Could she even get through this training without an absolutely mortifying encounter with hot water, the memory of which would haunt her for the rest of her life?

And most importantly, would anything she actually learned here help her beat Ryouga?

Fearing the answer to all these questions was no, Ranma-chan took a deep breath and swallowed her doubts. Like it or not, mastering Pretty Magical Girl Martial Arts was her best hope to become the best again, and if she turned back now there was no guarantee she'd discover an alternative. Besides, she was Saotome Ranma, man among man and master martial artist! At the very least, it wasn't as if learning a new style of martial arts would hurt her, and if Happosai hadn't been lying when he'd said even he couldn't match Pretty Magical Girl Martial Arts then perhaps this school really could help her.

She just wished the name didn't sound so silly!

With another annoyed sigh, Ranma-chan shored up her resolve and walked over to the booth, the dour raven eyeing her suspiciously the entire time. She might as well get this over with as quickly as possible, and considering how relatively normal everything looked maybe, just maybe this martial arts school was more serious than the name suggested and she wasn't going to be humiliated in some way, shape, or form.

The Saotome heir's optimism lasted all of five seconds which was when the text on the placard became readable.

_Welcome to the School of Pretty Magical Girl Martial Arts! If you wish to train with us please fill out a questionnaire before entering the shrine grounds. If you are a visitor, may you have a magical time here and please remember to complete a survey on your way out. We depend on your feedback to improve the school! If you are a harbinger of darkness, please take a number and someone will be out soon to slaughter you mercilessly in the name of love and justice. If you are a clueless but well-intentioned romantic interest for one of the shrine's students, please remain where you are until you feel compelled to move by a mysterious force that will inevitably cause you to barge in during an embarrassing or indecent moment. Thank you for your cooperation, and have a nice day!_

Seeing the redhead's suddenly dismayed look, the raven cawed with cruel mirth and indicated a sheet of paper and a pen laying on the counter with its beak. Somewhat warily, Ranma-chan crossed the last few feet separating her from the bird and reached for the writing implement. As she did so she could have sworn she heard the raven snicker at her, and Ranma-chan felt her spirits sink even further as she read through the questionnaire.

_What is your name and why do you want to become a magical girl?_

"Saotome Ranko," Ranma-chan muttered distastefully, writing and reading her answers aloud to herself. "And I need to become a magical girl so I can gain the power to defeat someone strong enough to destroy the entire city."

_What are the men in your life like?_

"Idiots, jerks, or jerks and idiots," the redhead jotted down with a clearly irritated expression on her face. "They're either trying to kill me or marry me or both."

_How would you feel if your daughter from the future traveled back through time to meet you?_

The martial arts prodigy contemplated that question for a second before shrugging nonchalantly. There were so many women in her life right now that one more wouldn't make much of a difference, and if it was her daughter then her arrival might actually help her sort out the whole fiancée mess. "It couldn't make my life any more chaotic."

_What is your favorite color?_

Ranma-chan blinked at the simple question, wondering if there was a right or wrong answer, but decided to answer truthfully. "Red."

_Do you believe in miracles?_

"What does that have to do with anything?" the puzzled redhead questioned aloud, neither expecting nor receiving an answer though the black bird cawed again smugly. 'Yes' seemed like the obvious answer to her, however, so she jotted it down quickly. The next several questions continued in the same vein, sounding either inane (_If you were a theme song what would you sound like?_) or nonsensical (_What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?_). The last question, however, threw the cursed Saotome for a loop.

_Tentacle rape – yes or no?_

"No!" Ranma-chan gawked in a tone that was equal parts incredulous, offended, and horrified, scribbling her answer down with a furious stroke and then for good measure writing over it again to bold it and then adding underlines and rapid-fire exclamation marks. The redhead's avian observer almost fell off the counter because it was chortling so loud, and this caused the disconcerted Saotome – who appreciated being mocked by animals about as much as a certain fiery koopa king likes Italian plumbers – to fix the black bird with a heated glare. "And what are _you_ laughing at?"

"A young girl who has _no_ idea what she's getting herself into, obviously," the raven replied without missing a beat in a superior and androgynous voice, winking at its listener's unmistakable surprise. "Welcome to the School of Pretty Magical Girl Martial Arts, Ranko. My name is Kuroyo, and I'll be taking that paper now." Introduction given, the raven jumped upwards and extended its talons. It then swooped down and snatched the completed questionnaire from in front of the still astonished Ranma-chan before rapidly soaring up the flight of stairs.

"Hey, give that back!" Ranma-chan remained flustered for less than a second as her mind – by now so familiar with the bizarre that the two practically shared an apartment and were seeking common law status – decided to simply go with the flow and that it was more important to retrieve the stolen form than ponder over talking animals. Besides, she could always fall back on Jusenkyo for an explanation if necessary since those cursed springs seemed to be responsible for about half the problems in her life, almost all the rest having been caused by her father.

Course of action determined, the young redhead sprinted after the retreating Kuroyo with remarkable speed, following the bird up the stone steps through the archway and into the shrine's main grounds. Waiting for the pigtailed martial artist there was a building reminiscent of a traditional Buddhist temple with a curved, green shingled roof and paned, wooden exterior. Two sculpted lions stood on pedestals immediately in front of the temple, watching each other and guarding the shrine's interior. Most of the ground was comprised of tiny, well-worn pebbles with a stone path leading up the temple's front steps and forking in front of the lion statues. To the right past the temple was another stone pillar about six feet tall, although unlike the one at the bottom of the stairs the letters on this post were of no language Ranma-chan recognized. To the left was a smaller building, possibly a storage shed. Over two dozen paper lanterns hung down from the front-side of the temple's roof, but they were unlit due to the time of day.

It was a beautiful but quaint complex, similar to and sharing the same unpretentious charm of hundreds of other large shrines dotted throughout the Japanese islands, but it was not the traditional set-up that seized Ranma-chan's attention with the gravitational force of a heavenly body. Rather, it was the elderly woman slightly taller than Ukyo whose right shoulder Kuroyo was now perched on and apparently whispering to. The woman stood in front of the main shrine building and wore a simple, undecorated gray kimono with a white sash. Her weathered silver hair flowed down in an elegant sheet to her waist, and despite her apparent age the woman's face possessed a remarkably unlined, youthful look. Her frame was slender and modestly shapely rather than voluptuous, and she was currently holding and reading over the stolen questionnaire in her hands. She looked up upon hearing Ranma-chan's approach and gazed at the young martial artist with distinctly _pink_ eyes.

"I see you answered no to the tentacle rape question," the older woman spoke with a wry grin. "While I normally encourage people to have an open mind, I never know what to make of the young girls who answer yes to that question – sometimes with as much emphasis as your rejection. I don't train _that_ type of magical girl here." She laughed not unkindly at the redhead's sudden awkwardness as Ranma-chan's mind filled with images she'd have preferred not to consider. "Anyway, let me welcome you once more to the School of Pretty Magical Girl Martial Arts, Saotome Ranko. You've already met my assistant Kuroyo, and as for me...you won't need to know my name if I deny your application, and if I do take you on as my student then you'll simply call me master." The silver-haired teacher continued speaking in a voice rich with amusement. "So tell me, Ranko, why should I teach you the ways of the Pretty Magical Girl?"

Ranma-chan resisted the urge to roll her eyes, silently wondering why _every_ martial arts master she met was an eccentric. Collecting her thoughts, the redhead opened her mouth and repeated the prepared answer she'd devised on her way here. "Well, you see, there's this guy-"

The Pretty Magical Girl School's master interrupted her almost immediately. "A guy, you say? How long have you two known each other?"

Annoyed at being cut short, Ranma-chan answered in an irritated tone and tried to return to – in the Saotome heir's not so humble estimation – her cleverly worded and incredibly persuasive spiel. "We went to school together so a couple years now, I guess, but that's not-" Again, she was interrupted.

"Let me guess – it was hate at first sight and you two have been fighting ever since, right?" Ranma-chan's potential instructor questioned. At the redhead's nod, she and Kuroyo exchanged a knowing look and matching shrewd expressions formed on their faces. The Saotome heir suddenly felt very uncomfortable as they turned to regard her again. "You two compete in everything, he's your number one rival, and he also follows you wherever you go, right?" Again, another nod. "However," the aged sensei continued in a tone that was almost patronizing, "when all the chips are down and you need help he's there for you and you know you can always count on him, correct?"

Ranma-chan nodded weakly, having an idea where these inquiries were going and not liking it one bit. "That's all sort of true, but it's not what you-"

The Master of Pretty Magical Girl Martial Arts silenced the redhead with a wave of a dainty hand and a probing stare that made the young martial artist feel like she was being dissected. Her unease only grew as an impish smile appeared on the silver-haired woman's face. "Hm, that's all I need to know. You may not be my first choice-" Ranma-chan's prideful protest was preempted by another penetrating stare. "-but your heart seems to be in the right place and since Higurashi Kagome keeps turning down my invitations to enroll here...you'll do. Kuroyo," the Master spoke, keeping her pink eyes fixed on Ranma-chan, "prepare a room for my new student and get everything in order. We shall begin training at once."

The raven nodded once and leapt off its master's shoulder, flapping its wings and taking flight within seconds. As the black bird flew into the temple, Ranma-chan felt her unease disappear and be replaced with excitement despite the issues she had with training as a girl. Although everything hadn't gone _exactly_ according to plan, she'd been admitted to the school and would soon start learning a new style of martial arts. Mission accomplished, right? "So...'Master', where do we start?" the redhead wanted to know.

"With the essentials," Ranma's newest instructor replied earnestly, approaching her newly christened student and placing her hands on the attractive redhead's shoulders. "There are certain rudiments that _every_ true practitioner of Pretty Magical Girl Martial Arts must be equipped with in order to attain their full potential, and we shall deal with the first and most basic this very hour. Prepare yourself, Ranko..." she said leadingly, making sure to fill her voice with a sense of the dramatic.

"...to choose your animal familiar!"

With the Master's grip locking her in place, Ranma-chan couldn't have fled even if she'd wanted to.

000ooo000000ooo000

With the passage of time from morning into afternoon, Jadeite had traded in his stall clerk's clothes for the attire of a librarian and now manned one of the many libraries scattered throughout Tokyo. A large crowd comprised mostly of children but with a few adults milled around the scholastic building's interior excitedly, their energy levels spiking as the dark spells the former general had weaved into the books worked their magic. Like his earlier operation that day, everything was going disappointingly smoothly. Other than checking out books and keeping a watchful eye open for the potential arrival of some do-gooder fond of making speeches, the blond mystic found himself with little to do and almost felt bored which was quite the accomplishment considering how much time he'd spent trapped inside a translucent crystal. Victimizing humans just didn't give him the same joy it used to...

"Why, hello Mister Jadeite! What a pleasant surprise to see you again."

The blond general immediately identified the cheery, friendly voice as belonging to the remarkably tranquil woman – Kasumi – he'd met that morning at the outdoor market and turned to face the speaker. Sure enough, at the far end of the counter he was standing behind was the familiar brunette, two books carried in her right arm against her side, a purse slung over her other shoulder, and a mind-bogglingly _nice_ smile on her lovely face. He briefly wondered if she was following him but quickly dismissed the idea because the thought of this woman spying on anyone struck him as ridiculously absurd. This second encounter had to be a coincidence and nothing more.

"Miss Tendo, right?" Jadeite inquired with false affability but honest surprise as he walked over to the young woman, examining her energy levels out of curiosity and discovering that her aura was once again unaffected by his spells and, more curious yet, that she seemed utterly unaware of the tendrils of magic she was expertly repelling. "I wasn't expecting to see you again today. Tell me, what brings you to this library?"

Smile never leaving her charming features, the youthful brunette extended her right arm and handed the two books to him. "With my shopping and household chores done, I decided I'd like to do some reading so I came here." She reached into her purse and pulled out a library card. "And please, call me Kasumi."

"If that is your wish, Mi-, Kasumi," the master illusionist responded, catching himself. Over a thousand years of service to a tyrannical queen made dispensing with titles an unusual practice for him. Though it hardly seemed possible, Kasumi's impossibly gentle smile actually widened at his near misstep, and Jadeite turned around and headed towards the electronic book scanner before the grin's warm light could blind him. What was up with this woman? Honestly, he'd met Celestials who paled in comparison to her. Her reading selections also caused him to raise an inquisitive eyebrow. "A cookbook...and a guide to pediatrics?"

"I'm always looking for new dishes to try, and medicine is one of my favorite subjects," Kasumi answered without missing a beat, following behind him on the other side of the librarian counter. "There are so many injuries around the house from how hard everyone plays, and I enjoy being able to help out even if it's only in small ways."

"Treating injuries is hardly a small matter," Jadeite remarked with an unfeigned honesty that surprised even himself as he reached for the electronic scanner and checked the two books out. "I used to serve in the military and good medics were always in short supply." He decided against mentioning that the reason why there was often a shortage of medics in the Dark Kingdom was that Queen Beryl usually favored executing youma who failed and thus there was rarely a need to treat the wounded.

"You were in the military? I wouldn't have guessed," the eldest Tendo daughter spoke as she reached for the library books, a note of surprise and...something else? in her voice. "You must have seen an awful lot of the world, Mister Jadeite."

The iniquitous illusionist raised an eyebrow in slight astonishment. While he was a master of deception, he was hardly making any effort to disguise himself today and most people would have conjectured that he possessed a military background from his crisp manner and cold personality long before now. Did this Kasumi not make any assumptions at all about people? This was also the first time the general had heard a note of what just might be wistfulness in her voice, and the blue-eyed mystic decided to pursue it and try to solve the mystery behind this woman. As sad as it was to admit, this young lady was the most interesting phenomenon he'd encountered in years of waging his master's dark crusade. It would be...regrettable if he didn't find out more about her before the opportunity was permanently lost.

"You'd be surprised at how much of the world I've seen, Kasumi," Jadeite remarked calculatingly, unsurprised as Kasumi's eyes lit up at his words just as he'd expected them to. Despite the Tendo's domestic demeanor it was becoming apparent to him that she dreamed of more than merely her family. "Cultures, countries, continents...it might be an exaggeration to say that I've seen them all, but I've come pretty close and am so world weary that I've almost given up on believing in wonders...and then I meet someone like you and remember that there are still things in life more beautiful than picture perfect sunsets."

As expected, Kasumi's cheeks reddened at his compliment and for a shadow of a second Jadeite remembered the pleasure and sense of superiority he used to experience when he frequently toyed with human emotions to amass energy for Queen Beryl. The sensation quickly passed, though, and in its place the merciless general almost felt a twinge of regret at manipulating this innocent before him.

Almost. He was a heartless bastard, after all.

"Oh my, that's a very kind thing of you to say, Mister Jadeite," the eldest Tendo spoke demurringly, chuckling once musically. The sound was so rich and so pleasing to the ears that Jadeite had to resist the urge to immediately flatter her again. There would be time for that later. "Tell me, is that why you travel? To remind yourself that even with everything you've seen and done that there are still mysteries in the world to find and marvels to discover?"

The false librarian blinked at the woman's surprisingly profound words and wondered how he should answer the question. He couldn't tell her the truth, of course, but the trite, charming reply he had prepared also seemed inappropriate. Kasumi radiated such pure sincerity that not responding at least partially in kind probably warranted being prohibited by the Geneva Conventions or whatever comparable body of law held sway on this Earth.

"I...honestly don't know why I still travel," Jadeite finally answered with mock solemnity but more truth than he'd care to admit, deliberately gazing intently at some point through and beyond the attractive brunette as he lowered his hands to the counter. "I've been journeying for so long that it's become my life and I'm no longer certain what I hope to gain from it." Certainly more than a few extra seconds before the end, he thought idly. What logic was there in prolonging a hopeless existence? "Perhaps I travel to find that answer," he concluded with manufactured uncertainty. Were he not jaded by millennia of witnessing the obliteration of worlds the former general might have felt smug at the sympathy he now saw in Kasumi's gentle eyes. Instead, he merely felt a small measure of satisfaction that his skill at manipulation was as strong as ever.

The eldest Tendo set down her books and placed a comforting, reassuring hand over his own. Although expected, the warmth of her skin against his own was so genuine and so..._wholesome_ that Jadeite almost pulled back his right hand. "I'm sure whatever it is you're looking for you'll find eventually, Mister Jadeite," Kasumi spoke in a voice as soothing as the sea as she raised her head to meet the gaze of his cold blue eyes with her own tranquil and heartwarming orbs. "Even if they're not the ones you expect, answers have ways of turning up. Just keep your eyes open and keep moving forward, and you'll be fine. I'm certain of it."

"...And now it's my turn to thank you for your kind words, Kasumi," Jadeite spoke gently, matching the Tendo's gaze with an intent one of his own. As a matter of experience, he believed whoever had famously said that eyes are the gateways to the soul had lied since he knew firsthand just how deceptive a glance could be (not to mention several races who regarded the mouth or even the nostrils as the gateway to the soul and that wasn't including the sentient species without optics), but peering into this woman's honest, compassionate eyes...he could almost believe it, and that made the mystic even more determined to learn her secrets.

Making a show of seemingly gathering his resolve, the blue-eyed illusionist took a deep breath and began to speak in a voice filled with hesitation. "Kasumi, is there any chance that...would you perhaps be interested in..." Seeing the target of his duplicity smile at him encouragingly, Jadeite continued on. "Would you by any chance be interested in getting a cup of coffee together later today? One of my coworkers recommended a place to me, and seeing as how I'm a stranger here and we keep bumping into each other...I would really like to hear what you have to say about Tokyo and what I should do in this city before moving on." He grinned with artful nervousness. "It would be my treat."

Despite his masterful charm and confidence in his good looks, Jadeite felt a flicker of concern that Kasumi would say no as he unobtrusively scrutinized her and saw a flash of hesitation cross her welcoming features. The doubt soon faded, however, as the brunette's moment of indecision passed and the former general discerned by her gracious disposition and rosy cheeks what her answer was. Really, he shouldn't have worried at all. This woman was probably about as likely to deliberately disappoint someone as the Sailor Senshi of his world were to make the rounds of morning gossip talk shows, and considering his master had sent that Earth variant into the Void...

He liked those odds.

"I'd love to help you find your way around Tokyo," Kasumi answered at last, the embodiment of charity and compassion as she slowly lifted her right hand off his own and reached for her two books again. "Anything for a friend, and while I'm more of a tea drinker going out for coffee could be interesting. When and where should we meet?"

Jadeite expertly suppressed the shiver of excitement he felt prepare to travel up his spine over his apparent success and put on a show of thought. "Hm...my shift ends in about-" The blond general swiftly assessed the rate of his energy accumulation. "-three hours, so how about I meet you at your home around 6:30, if you don't mind giving me your address?" Perhaps meeting Kasumi's family would answer a few of his questions about her. "That'll give you time to make the meal you were shopping for earlier too, I believe."

Again, a look of such tranquility that it seemed as if the Tendo girl had not a care in the world crossed the brunette's face as she considered the illusionist's suggestion. It only took her a second to decide and nod her head once gently in agreement, the smile on her face shining with unconditional and immeasurable friendship. And again, Jadeite felt his curiosity burn and...something else stir within him in wonder at this delicate, weak mortal girl who somehow effortlessly repelled his spells and seemed to embody benevolence itself. She was an enigma, and one of the few aspects of his character that had not been deadened by his service to his inhuman master was his love for puzzles.

For the first time in he didn't know how long, an authentic smile formed on the Dark Kingdom refugee's face as he decided that tonight...promised to be an interesting night.

000ooo000000ooo000

"Thanks for stopping by, Akane," Ukyo remarked with an amiable smile as she stood over the seated Ryouga and Akane and placed two trays of okonomiyaki in front of them. "Business has been kind of quiet recently, and there are a few new recipes I want feedback on so I can hopefully use them to remedy that situation." Her friendly smile grew somewhat strained as, in contrast to her words, the two dozen other customers who'd arrived for a late lunch almost immediately after she'd returned with her regular co-conspirator and romantic rival demanded her attention. "Ehehehe, well, enjoy! I'll be back when I have a spare moment so you can tell me what you think!"

The youngest Tendo watched as the okonomiyaki chef quickly glided back to her grill and expertly began taking and filling orders in one smooth, continuous motion. The blue haired martial artist then turned her attention to her current dining companion and grinned warmly. Ryouga, for his part, struggled to keep his nervous twitching to a bare minimum and wracked his mind for things to say that wouldn't make him sound like an idiot...and came up blank. Training with Son Goku and the Z-Fighters had done wonders for his fighting abilities, but it hadn't really taught him anything useful about women...other than don't make them mad, of course, but he'd already known that from watching Ranma's various missteps.

Fortunately for the Eternally Lost Boy, Akane broke the silence before it could become uncomfortably awkward. "It's really nice to see you again, Ryouga. You were gone for a whole month this time, and everyone was beginning to wonder if you were all right." She reached for her plate with her chopsticks and took a bite out of Ukyo's newest creation. A flash of jealousy over her rival's cooking skills passed over her features at the sheer deliciousness of the crossdressing chef's signature food, but it quickly disappeared. She was much more interested in catching up with her friend right now.

"Ehehe, you don't need to w-worry about me, Akane," Ryouga stammered out, flattered by the youngest Tendo's concern and reaching for the back of his head with his right hand nervously. "You know how...eh, tough I am, and I wouldn't let a-a-anything get between me and seeing you again." -Not even an alien invasion and pink, planet-destroying tyrant,- he silently added. He anxiously reached for his own chopsticks and somehow managed not to break them.

Akane finished chewing another bite of Ukyo's okonomiyaki and swallowed. "Speaking of your toughness," she started tentatively, unsure how to best broach the subject but proceeding anyway as she set her chopsticks down, "you must have had quite the full month to improve as much as you have. What type of training did you do? As a fellow martial artist I'm really curious."

Ryouga opened his mouth to respond but almost immediately froze as he considered just how ludicrous the past two and a half years of his life would sound to another person. His time chasing the Road Runner already stretched credibility, but when the saiyan invasion, offworld adventure, training on New Namek, and giant alien dragon who granted wishes were factored in...honestly, what type of sleep-deprived, tripped out writer would come up with such a crazy tale that combined the two? Then there was the matter of his age and how he was technically two years older than Akane now even though he'd wished to be sixteen again...would he doom his chances with her if he told her his true age? So much for the theory that removing his Jusenkyo curse would actually make talking to Akane _easier_. Thinking about this was making him so tense that he almost wished some long lost saiyan would crashland and threaten the entire world just so he'd have a distraction.

Somewhere far, far away, Broly suddenly sneezed.

"Eh, well, you see...I w-was sworn-to-secrecy-about-most-of-my-training!" Ryouga blurted in a burst of inspiration. "But...um, part of it consisted of training in special chambers under higher gravity. I have a capsule in my pocket with one I can sh-show you later, if you want."

An obviously _short-lived_ burst of inspiration.

Akane's forehead scrunched up in confusion as she puzzled through the Lost Boy's words. "An entire room...inside a capsule that fits in your pocket? Is that even possible?"

Ryouga shrugged nonchalantly. He'd been impressed the first time he watched Bulma demonstrate the capsule technology and appreciative of its usefulness since he could now fit what amounted to an entire house inside one of his backpack's compartments, but he'd seen Mousse pull off far more astounding feats with his sleeves. Besides, once one got used to the idea it wasn't any stranger than Akane's mallets. "It's some gizmo a family of scientists came up with. I don't know how it works either, but it's made it far easier for me to carry my training equipment around. I also have one that holds a hover car, but now that I can fly I don't really need it." Aha! Three whole sentences without a single stutter! There might just be hope for him yet!

"Hover...car?"

Or not.

The bandana-wearing martial artist made a mental note _not_ to mention the interstellar spaceship in his backpack as he remembered that even Tokyo fell behind the technology curve of the world he'd come from. Now, how to change the subject before Akane started asking questions he didn't want to answer? For that matter, how to make progress with Akane before the obviously exasperated Ukyo on the other side of the restaurant killed him through sheer willpower and frustration? Even _he_ wasn't oblivious to the deathly glares the okonomiyaki chef was sending his way, though to be fair he imagined he would be annoyed too if he was forced to watch Ranma try and fail abysmally to sweep someone who wasn't Akane off their feet...actually, that would be kind of amusing considering how much of a no-good womanizer his rival was...

...Wait, Akane! Better get back on topic before he got lost in Wonderland again! Last he'd heard the Queen of Hearts still wanted to behead him.

"A ah, another invention of that family of scientists," Ryouga belatedly explained, chuckling nervously at the uncertain look Akane was giving him. "T-t-the father and daughter are geniuses and l-let me go through their workshop before I left. It...really is amazing what science can do these days, isn't it?" He awkwardly took another bite of his lunch and tried to think of a way to regain control of the conversation, although Ryouga had to be admit to himself that he'd probably never had control of the conversation from the start. Maybe he should have waited another half a year on New Namek and wished for the ability to speak eloquently to girls also?

"Hm...did your new friends give you something to help you with your sense of direction too? You seem to be having an easier time finding people," Akane questioned good-naturedly, moving the dialogue forward and with genuine interest on her face that touched Ryouga to the core of his being...until his mind caught up with his heart and fully processed the youngest Tendo's words.

"Heheh, well...about that...Bulma, the d-d-daughter I mentioned, she did create something to help...help with that," the Eternally Lost Boy started, fidgeting from embarrassment as he remembered the invention the brilliant blue-haired scientist had developed and her subsequent violent reaction to its wildly spectacular but tremendously unsuccessful results. And he'd thought Akane's temper was bad. "But I've improved my ki-sensing abilities so much that by f-focusing I can detect powerful martial artists and then simply fly to their location. That's...how I got to my duel with Ranma yesterday. Pretty nifty, eh?"

The fanged martial artist nearly melted at the look of happiness Akane shot his way. "I'm glad you found something to help, Ryouga. That should make things much easier for you." A slightly more pensive expression crossed the blue-haired Tendo's face, and it was with visible reluctance that she asked her next question. "Does that...does that mean you know where Ranma is right now? He left early this morning without saying a word to go train somewhere, and...and it's not like I'm worried about that idiot or anything, but it would be nice to know where he's training so I can contact him if something important happens...you know?"

Ryouga froze at Akane's concerned tone and the mention of his rival, which was the only thing that saved him from showing his nearly palpable disappointment and suddenly crestfallen spirits. Ranma, why did it always come back to Ranma? Akane knew Ranma could take care of himself and it wasn't as if he'd injured any part of Ranma seriously in their previous battle except his rival's pride, and yet she _still_ worried about him? Honestly, what did he have to do to find a place in her heart? Save the world...again? Nevermind that it had been a different world and he'd had help, but was it really too much to ask that Akane show him the same concern she gave unthinkingly to Ranma at least once?

"I could, but it would take time," Ryouga answered after a moment spent composing himself as best he could, straining to keep the sullenness he felt out of his voice. "Ranma's ki is weak compared to the people I trained with so it takes a lot of effort to track him down, especially if he isn't prepping for a battle. That's why I was still late to our duel at Furinkan High."

"Ah," Akane replied in a neutral tone, shortly adding, "Don't worry about it. What Ranma does with his life isn't my concern. He can go all the way to North America for the Trial of the Road Runner if he wants to. See if I care." She failed to hide the frown forming on her features accompanied by the whispering of her familiar mantra. "Idiot."

Ryouga _really_ wanted to launch his rival into lunar orbit right then. Other than the satisfying sound of Ranma reaching escape velocity the action would also give the Eternally Lost Boy the pleasure of hurting the one who was causing the woman he loved so much heartache. Stupid Ranma couldn't even appreciate what was right in front of him...Now it was up to him to cheer Akane up, but how? As long as Ranma was on her mind her mood wasn't likely to improve much, but what could he do to divert her attention? Forget wishing to be more comfortable around women; what he really needed was an entire martial arts style designed to deal with the opposite sex. The School of Debonair and Dandy Martial Arts, maybe? In a world where Martial Arts Calligraphy existed surely someone, somewhere had developed such a style(1)...

"I-I'm sure Ranma is fine," Ryouga nearly choked out, struggling to say anything positive about his longtime rival. "You...you know how he is, always bouncing back from whatever happens. I'm sure he-he'll be back in no time, especially once he realizes that whatever training he's doing won't help him against me. I don't think there's any way he could match what I've gone through."

Akane didn't look reassured by the Lost Boy's words, but after another bite of her food and a moment of quiet she smiled weakly and attempted to move forward. After all, there was no reason why she should dwell on Ranma, she thought. "That gravity...chamber must be quite the training method. Maybe I'll take you up on your offer to see it later. I could use a good workout myself."

"Anytime! I-I-I'd be more than happy to help you train anytime, Akane!" Ryouga gushed out, glad to finally be on a subject again where he could offer something helpful to the youngest Tendo. Moreover, martial arts was one of the few topics he was comfortable enough with that he could talk to her about it without making an utter fool of himself. "Three times normal gravity is usually a good place to start, and the chamber goes all the way up to one hundred fifty." Any questions the dark-haired martial artist might have had concerning how Bulma's invention could endure that much pressure without caving in upon itself on the (exceedingly) rare occasions he pondered gravitational equations he chalked up to the wonders of science, which was pretty much another form of magic to him though he supposed Uranai Baba would disagree. Really, though, was a crystal ball that much different from satellite TV?

"Thanks, Ryouga. You're a true friend."

Ryouga sighed at the predictability of it all, effusiveness dimming again at the virtual monotony of his relationship with Akane. It was like he was trapped in one of those accursed möbius strips where the love of his teenage life was concerned, going around and around and around in a familiar cycle and never managing to progress beyond it. Maybe he should just tell her that he loved her and embrace her with all of the passion in his heart? Nah, too Kuno-esque. Try writing another love letter and remember to sign it this time? Hm...that sounded so simple that something was bound to go wrong. Save her from aliens and hope she threw her arms around him out of gratitude? Heh, now that was just silly. Like he could really find the home addresses of any of the aliens he knew on this world. Oh well, might as well just take a chance and actually ask her out on a date to a movie. Now all he had to do was gather his courage and-

"By the way, Ryouga, have you seen P-chan recently? He hasn't come by the house in quite a while," Akane asked curiously and, typically, quite obliviously, voice lacking any insincerity or suspicion at all.

-and deflate like a popped balloon. This time Ryouga did break his chopsticks as a new wave of nervousness swept over him and he struggled with all of his considerable might to hold back a burst of anxious laughter. "I...ah, can't say I have. S-s-sorry Akane, b-but I haven't seen P-chan in m-months."

And somewhere far, far away, Uranai Baba observed the scene through her crystal ball which was sometimes substituted for a satellite TV and cackled uproariously. There were perks to being a fortune teller, and knowing when to tune in on an acquaintance's life for maximum entertainment value was one of them.

000ooo000000ooo000

As the sleek elevator descended into the Pretty Magical Girl Martial Arts complex's lower levels, the school's Master and her new student were a study in minor contrasts. The former stood perfectly at ease and with a slight sway as she hummed along to the Utena soundtrack's Absolute Destiny Apocalypse, playing instead of the traditional cheesy music spawned from the depths of the netherworld. A shadow of a smile spread across her otherwise composed face every time she glanced at her crimson-haired apprentice and pictured the fun she was about to have training her. For Ranma-chan's part, the young martial artist was making a mostly successful effort to remain calm but even her remarkable control couldn't prevent her from occasionally fidgeting and restlessly shifting onto one leg. The redhead disliked waiting and hated standing still even more, and she wasn't oblivious to her teacher's sidelong looks either. The longer the downward descent lasted the more time Ranma-chan had to think, and there was plenty about her current circumstances to make her uneasy. Pretending to be a girl, her questionably rational instructor, the apparent eccentricity of this martial arts style, and, of course, what kind of self-respecting ancient martial arts temple used an ELEVATOR to reach its hidden floors? The Saotome heir wasn't much for convention herself, but even _she_ felt like some horrible taboo was being broken here in the absence of winding stone stairs and sputtering torches.

Finally, after a seemingly interminable interval, the elevator came to a stop and its metal doors slowly slid open to reveal an expansive chamber that looked like it had been taken straight out of an opera house. Rows upon rows of chairs separated by dark forest green-carpeted aisles rested between the pair and a large stage shrouded by a red curtain. Two organs stood on either side in front of the theatric platform, and ornate chandeliers overhead burned with yellow flames that amply illuminated the room. Ranma-chan was impressed despite herself and released a small gasp of surprise at the unexpected sight. As for the Master, she merely smiled smugly and calmly strode forward, her long silver hair glistening in the candlelight and rustling in a nonexistent wind as she advanced(2). Ranma-chan quickly followed after her, and the two soon made their way to the front of the stage where they stopped. The school's sensei then clapped her hands together once, and as if on cue the red curtain pulled back to both sides of the stage and disclosed the theatre's contents.

"C-c-c-c-caa-a-a-a-a-cat!"

And completely ruined the solemn atmosphere that had heretofore reigned.

Moving so fast that she left an afterimage, Ranma-chan desperately ran and leapt all the way back to the elevator shaft she had exited mere minutes ago. Unfortunately for the frightened Saotome, its doors were already shut and there was no discernable button to open them. She frantically pounded the sealed entrance for a moment before the puzzled meowing from the stage caught up with her and sent her into an even greater panic. Overwhelmed with fear, the redhead ducked behind the last row of chairs and curled into a protective ball to hide herself from her phobia's source.

One could almost hear the massive sweatdrop form on the Master's head as, one by one, she looked at the stage, turned around to study where her new and now nearly catatonic student was cowering, and then examined her student's fading afterimage whose face was locked in an expression of absolute terror. The woman's pink eyes widened slightly as she processed what had just happened, and then she sighed and chuckled once quietly. "So...Ranko's afraid of cats, eh? That's a new one for a magical girl, but I won't let this little problem interfere with my training." Surprisingly, a frighteningly cheerful smile emerged on the skilled martial artist's deceptively youthful face as she pondered this problem and arrived at a solution. "It's time for a special technique!"

As she said this, the Master's huge grin grew even brighter...literally, as a golden glow warm enough that one might be tempted to try using it to roast marshmallows materialized around the slender woman. As her left arm shot up serenely over her head, the magical teacher's contoured radiance condensed into dozens upon dozens of sparkling, penny-sized balls that revolved around her in continually changing directions. Emanating a sense of utmost grace and comforting reassurance, she took a long step with her left foot, lifted her heel on the other foot, inclined her upper body slightly forward, and prepared to shift into an elaborate spin. The spheres of light brightened, sensing their creator's anticipation, and the space around the Master began to just discernably distort itself in preparation for an impending burst of pyrotechnic colors in the background. It was an excellent set-up that would have been in place on any number of magical girl series, but unfortunately for the Master there was one thing she had not counted on.

"Wouldn't it be easier just to ask all the cats to scurry offstage?" Kuroyo asked, flying down from one of the auditorium's balconies to perch on a chair where the raven performed the patented eye roll of exasperated animal familiars everywhere.

The biting common sense of her partner.

"You _might_ have a point there," the Master grudgingly conceded, returning to a normal stance as the luminescence around her dissolved with almost audible disappointment. "Now shoo, you have more important things to do right now than ruining my fun!" Kuroyo shrugged once but obligingly took to the air again as the school's sensei rolled her own eyes in the patented manner of women everywhere when their (usually male) colleagues just don't get it. She then walked over to her newest charge and decided the best way to begin handling her student's clearly deep and intense trauma was to restate the obvious, a common practice of magical girls designed to deal with their typically short attention spans and to lessen the chance that important information is miscommunicated no matter how many flashing lights, dazzling colors, and flower petals appear in a scene.

"So...you're afraid of cats, eh?" the older woman asked nonchalantly, bending down to envelop the frightened teenager in a motherly hug from behind. She sighed as she noticed Ranma-chan reflexively shy away from the contact, even in middle of her trembling, and made another mental note regarding Ranko's training. The redhead was going to need to become a _WHOLE_ lot more comfortable with the touchy-feely thing if she wanted to master Pretty Magical Girl Martial Arts. The Master then gently set her head on Ranma-chan's left shoulder and let her long, silvery hair drape down over her student's body almost like a blanket. "I can make them go away," she whispered melodiously, slowly rocking Ranma-chan back and forth. "All you have to do is let me know that you're listening to me, all right?"

Keeping her blue eyes stubbornly closed, Ranma-chan pulled her wits together and nodded her head slowly. "Please, no c-c-c-a-ats. I can't stand them." Subliminally soothed by the Master's reassuring, platonic embrace, the redhead's swift mind rallied and voiced another concern, one that made Ranma-chan grimace unhappily at the thought. "And no animals that are actually humans either! There are enough dishonest perverts in my life already without adding another shapeshifting one to the mix, thank you very much!"

The silver-haired woman smirked despite herself at this and lifted her head to look behind her with pink eyes that sparkled with barely restrained mirth. "Hear that? Sorry guys, girls, and whatever androgynous pronoun some of you prefer to go by, but all of you of the feline and transformed humanoid variety can go. Thank you, and come again soon!"

"Why I never!"

"The nerve!"

"Miya!"

The wave of grumbling and complaints that accompanied this statement was nearly deafening as over three-fourths of the prospective animal familiars assembled on the large stage walked, scuttled, and flew out the exit. Only when the mumbling finally died down and the last of the departing candidates, a large purple bird who may or may not have been a cameo, disappeared did the Master turn back to Ranma-chan. "Heh, never a dull moment with you around, is there?" she remarked teasingly, releasing her hug to clasp the redhead by the shoulders from behind. "So, my young apprentice, are you ready to resume your training now or would you like to cuddle some more?"

Hearing this, Ranma-chan bolted to her feet and was a good seven foot distance from her pink-eyed teacher in less than a second. Making a great show of dusting herself off and doing her best to pretend that she had not just been cradled like a newborn, the young martial artist indolently nodded her head in the affirmative. "Yeah yeah yeah, let's get this show on the road and over with a'ready. The more time I spend here the more time Ryouga will have with Akane alone and-THAT DOESN'T MEAN WHAT YOU THINK IT DOES!" the young Saotome practically snarled, seeing a huge Cheshire grin blossom on her teacher's face at these words.

The Master raised a delicate hand to cover her mouth, but this only served to make her suggestive, knowing smile stand out even more. "If you say so, Ranko. I'll leave you to your denials for now because we have more important things to accomplish today than sorting out the mysteries of your heart..." The delicate woman let the sentence hang for a few seconds as Ranma-chan made strangled noises before suddenly extending the hand covering her mouth in a flourish to point at the stage. "The moment of destiny is upon you, Saotome Ranko. Choose your animal familiar, but choose wisely for once the choice is made you can never go back! ...at least not without filling out a week's worth of paperwork, and that's a real pain, let me tell you."

As the Master's haughty smirk creased slightly at the edges over some memory known only to her, Ranma-chan sweat-dropped at the lame finish but reluctantly did as asked and turned towards the stage to examine the assembled creatures...and promptly sighed tiredly. To say the young martial artist was unimpressed by the remaining applicants would be an understatement. The birds onstage were so garish and colorful her blue eyes burned just looking at them, the only monkey familiar was a chimpanzee wearing a miniature fedora and looking like he'd just robbed a bank, and there was a large boa constrictor engaged in (and losing) a battle royal with a koala bear of all things. The less said about the three chipmunks in red, blue, and green going over sheet music the better, in her mind, and there was even a reindeer that looked more lost than Ryouga on a good day! The only halfway impressive candidate was the arm-length baby dragon flying around in circles and merrily exhaling gouts of flame, but even if the young draconoid didn't burn down the Tendo Dojo within a week it was far too likely for Ranma-chan's tastes to grow up and either try to eat or marry her one day. The buxom red-head was about to give up out of disgust and close her eyes to pick one randomly when her keen blue orbs spotted a familiarly black and white ball of fur doings its best not to get on the bad side of the enormous three-headed, slavering hound it was sitting next to. Sensing that it was being scrutinized, the black and white ball of fur straightened itself out and put on its best display of puppy dog eyes. Being a puppy, this was quite the easy feat for the creature, and Ranma-chan found herself staring into the black eyes of a recognizably distinctive half-white, black on the other side canine.

"One of Checker's puppies?" the reluctant magical girl in training remarked out loud, approaching the stage to get a better look at the young dog as, silently, the Master followed behind her. Hearing the name of its mother, the off-colored canine immediately perked up and peered even closer at the redhead. To Ranma-chan's credit, she didn't even start when the puppy opened its mouth and spoke in perfect Japanese.

"You know my Mom?" the canine asked excitedly, speaking in the voice of a grade school boy who's had one caffeinated beverage too many. A contemplative look crossed its muzzle. "Y'know, come to think of it, you do look and smell a little bit familiar. Have you ever heard of a Yoiko-"

"I'll take this one!" Ranma-chan interrupted hurriedly, leaping onto the stage and patting the puppy on its head gently but with unmistakable strength. The dog looked like it was going to press the subject, but before it could say anything more the redhead returned to the air with another jump that brought her to a landing in front of her clearly pleased teacher. "Okay, I've chosen an animal familiar. Can we please get started with the real training now?"

The Master chuckled airily. "I commend your enthusiasm, but shouldn't you at least learn your new companion's name first? Ranko, I would like for you to meet-" She gestured politely at the puppy that was now wagging its tail. "-Shogi. Shogi, meet Saotome Ranko. I'm sure the two of you will get along great." The silver-haired sensei gracefully walked across the floor to stand between Ranma-chan and the stage. "Shogi is really quite the remarkable animal familiar. I don't know all the details myself, but apparently when he was younger he tried to follow one of his owners and learned how to speak human languages during that epic journey. Once his mother realized this she sent him here to study and expand the family's specialty beyond canine ninjutsu."

"Mom says that in today's tough job market diversified experience is crucial!" Shogi supplied helpfully, beaming with pride at the Master's praise and happily remembering his maternal parent and the numerous pieces of advice she'd given him before tearfully sending him off to this school.

"Ehe," Ranma-chan remarked blandly, surprisingly unsurprised at the uncanny abilities of Checker's litter. In her mind, Checkers was a Hibiki and that explained any oddities she and her offspring might possess. Regardless, she smiled politely and waved once at the black and white puppy quickly before turning her attention back to her teacher. "All right, we've met. _Now_ can we start the actual training?"

The Master cocked her head to the side, superior grin firmly in place. "Are you _certain_ you want to start today, Ranko? The next phase of the training regimen is guiding you to your inner power, and the normal method consists of an ascetic routine of exercise and meditation for the next month-"

"A whole month? Ha!" Ranma-chan interrupted dismissively, hands going to her waist in a posture of confidence. "I don't know what type of students you normally train, but trust me when I say that I'm a martial arts genius and can learn anything you show me in a single day!" She pointed at herself proudly. "I betcha I can be in and out of this school in under a week if ya give me the chance, so the sooner we start the better. Capiche?"

The young martial artist's enormous self-assurance faded slightly at the disturbingly sweet maniacal smile that suddenly blossomed across the Master's face. "Are you saying...that you want to throw caution to the wind and train with no restraints?" the pink-eyed woman asked in an alarmingly cheerful sing-song voice. She took a step toward Ranma-chan as, simultaneously, all of the animal familiars on the stage stopped whatever they were doing and, very cautiously, took a step back. "To go forward with only your passion and determination to see you safely through to the end?" The Master continued to move forward at a deliberate pace until she was standing directly in front and nearly toe to toe with her student. "To immerse yourself in Pretty Magical Girl Martial Arts until you not only master but _personify_ the style? Is _that_ what you're saying, Ranko?"

Although Ranma-chan's psyche nearly recoiled at the sense of utter menace fused with sugary sweetness that was the Master right then, the question was a no-brainer for her mind. "Yes," the redhead answered with a challenging note in her voice that seemed to increase the silver-haired matron's eagerness.

"Very well then," the Master whispered gently, sizing the pigtailed martial artist up with her pink eyes. "If that's what you want, Ranko, then that is _exactly_ what you will get. Heh, you may just prove yourself to be the most promising student I've had in decades." She clasped the increasingly anxious Ranma-chan by the shoulders again and opened her mouth to say something more...but then decided to just get it over with and, completely unexpectedly, head-butted her new student as her hands erupted in golden sparkles of power.

"Ow," the magical girl trainer complained as she held up a delicate and still glowing hand to her forehead and Ranma-chan fell to the ground at her feet, unconscious. "That girl certainly has a thick head to go with her arrogance, I'll give her that much. It's rare that I need to add that much magic to knock someone out." She began to gently massage her temples as the illumination around her hands faded until the feel of eyes upon her became more than she wanted to bear. "Yes?" she inquired, turning to face her would-be inquisitor.

"Was that _really_ necessary?" Shogi asked, leaping off the stage and trotting over to his new master. "And will she be okay? I don't want to be forced to retire after only five minutes on the job." He sniffed the comatose redhead concernedly.

The Master shrugged nonchalantly. "Trust me, she'll be fine. I'm an expert at these things, and a few knocks to the head has never hurt anyone..." She trailed off as a whole list of counter-examples sprang to mind against her will, but then she shrugged dismissively again. "Eh, well, no biggie. Ranko here has already proven herself to be remarkably resilient, and she'll have to endure far more to complete my accelerated training regimen." She paused for a moment and brought a finger to rest on her chin in contemplation. "Hm, not enough of a ring to that. Let's try one more time."

Shogi watched out of curiosity as his superior took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and brought her hands together in front of her bosom. Slowly, as if the entire universe was waiting on her next move, the silver-haired matron opened her mouth to speak. As she did, she suddenly burst into a frenzy of twirls, pirouettes, flips, and bodily stretches that would make any gymnast greener than Oscar the Grouch from envy, completely breaking the intensely serious atmosphere. "She'll have to endure far more than that to complete my..."

"HYPER-ACCELERATED TURBO-MYSTICAL PRETTY MAGICAL GIRL ULTRA-TRAINING MIRACLE COURSE!" The Master finished with a graceful but still over-the-top curtsy followed by a "V" for victory hand sign. Then, acting as if nothing had happened, she gently bent over to lift the cursed Saotome off the ground. The weight of Shogi's subsequent sweatdrop nearly sent him crashing to the floor, and it was against his better judgment that he asked the question currently on his mind.

"Er...Master, just out of curiosity, how many people have actually gone through your accelerated training regimen?"

The Master turned her fair head and pouted cutely at Shogi's use of the abbreviated title of her teaching program. Then, without the least bit of concern in her voice, the older woman tilted her head to indicate the short redhead now draped over her left shoulder. "She'll be the first!" she answered happily.

This time, Shogi's sweatdrop did send him plummeting to the ground.

000ooo000000ooo000

Jadeite had long since stopped caring about time. Between the energy draining techniques that ensured his unending longevity and the millennia he'd already experienced, he knew better than to let the passing of days get to him. Counting the seconds would only lead to madness, and, honestly, what was the point when he lived outside of time? It was a mortal concept that he'd thought had lost all power over him...until now.

Sitting with Kasumi at a small round table, listening to the simple but pleasant music play in the background, and sensing the inviting aroma and warmth of the cups of coffee between them, the ageless general found himself savoring these moments and almost resenting the progress of night. There was something so...pure and serene about the attractive brunette's aura that it warmed even his atrophied heart, and he...felt at peace around her. And then there was the growing mystery behind her that continued to pique his curious mind. His stroll through Nerima and brief visit to Kasumi's house had certainly shed no new light on the matter despite the many high energy levels of the residents there and the surprisingly technologically advanced hovercraft sitting on the Tendo household's lawn, and the experience had only given him cause to wonder even more how this woman sitting across from him could have developed her astoundingly tranquil disposition when surrounded by such emotionally unstable surroundings and people. The man she'd introduced as her father had nearly cried a river upon learning the purpose of his visit and probably would have followed them if Kasumi's sister – Nabiki, her name had been? – hadn't run interference, although the middle Tendo had raised the matter of financial compensation in an aside afterwards.

The formidable mystic mulled these and the other facts he'd gathered over and over again in his mind as, on his exterior, he went through the easily simulated motions of friendly chitchat and appearing interested in Kasumi's description of Tokyo and recommendations of places to visit. While no two worlds were truly alike, he'd seen enough variants of this Asian metropolis that he probably knew his way around the city even better than the eldest Tendo sister and could easily feign the impression that he was paying attention. Deception, after all, was never a problem for him, although discovering the truth to this enigma was proving itself more of a challenge with each passing minute. Who was Kasumi, and how was she doing what she did? How was she being the utterly impossible person that she was, and why did he-

"By the way, Mister Jadeite," Kasumi inquired sweetly, suddenly changing the subject as an almost blindingly cheerful grin appeared on her face, "are you an energy-draining sorcerer from the Dark Kingdom?"

"...Eh?" The completely unexpected question brought the general's train of thought to a screeching halt, and for the first time in centuries he felt totally flummoxed as a thousand thoughts raced through his mind. How did Kasumi know who he was? Was this outing a trap? Why had he not suspected foul play earlier when this woman was obviously too good to be true? Only Jadeite's honed impassivity prevented his features from revealing his immense shock as anything more than a raised eyebrow, and he quickly cycled through his available options. Thus far his companion had proven herself remarkably adept at resisting his lower level energy spells, and she clearly wouldn't have played her hand if she didn't feel confident in his inability to escape so-

An amused, good-natured laugh escaped Kasumi's graceful lips as she gently placed her hands on top of his across the tabletop and met his gaze. Any thoughts of retreat fled Jadeite's consciousness as he looked into her soothing brown eyes and was greeted by a benevolence so great it was nearly stupefying. Despite his confusion, it was clear to the powerful mystic that she meant him no harm.

"I'm sorry if you didn't get my joke," the eldest Tendo apologized in a warm voice, playful smile still in place. "It's just...you look so much like a villain from an anime my sisters and I used to watch, and with the same name...I just couldn't resist. You're clearly too old for your parents to have named you after a 'Sailor Moon' character, though, so it's obviously only a funny coincidence."

Jadeite nearly scowled at the mention of his former nemesis and inwardly cursed his own foolishness. In the multiverse with its infinite possibilities it wasn't unheard of for the events on one world to be dreamed up and fashioned into a story on another, and all it took was one such instance to produce a multiplying effect that generated even more alternate worlds with captured fragments of other dimensions. This wasn't even the first Earth he'd been where the tale of Queen Serenity was known in one form or another, but despite its rarity he really should've known better than to use his real name. Something about Kasumi just threw him off. Outwardly, though, the cunning illusionist raised his lips in a small smile and laughed once, softly, searching his vast knowledge and local recollections for a suitable reply and finding one in short order.

"I see. Well then, Kasumi, I hope you won't mind if I, in turn, ask if you're a goddess first class?" Different appearances, certainly, but the voices were similar enough that maybe...(3)

His companion's musical laughter rang in his ears again, and Jadeite knew that he'd chosen his words well. Seeing Kasumi this heartily amused actually made him feel good enough that keeping the subsequent smugness out of his voice as he moved to change the subject took more effort than he'd expected. "Now that we've talked about Tokyo, do you mind if I ask you a few questions about yourself?" the general asked in his most persuasive tone, continuing on before Kasumi had time to do more than nod her head in the affirmative. "You've told me about your family, and I think it's commendable that you dedicate so much of your life to taking care of them-" That was a lie so insincere it could have competed in its own Olympics category, but while Jadeite believed living your life solely for others was utterly senseless he did have to give Kasumi credit for her sense of service. "-but what are your plans for yourself once your sisters finish school and leave the house? They won't need you to look after them forever."

A pensive look swept across the young woman's face at his question, and the sudden disappearance of her charming smile _almost_ made Jadeite regret broaching the subject. The driven general's curiosity outweighed all other concerns, though, and he was determined to find out more about his target while he still had time. His master was on a schedule, and the unfamiliar feeling that he was racing against the clock to solve this mystery was subtly unnerving.

"I can't say I've given that subject a whole lot of thought," Kasumi answered politely but not convincingly enough to fool Jadeite's expert discernment. "My family has always come first, and I intend to stay with them for as long as they need me. I'm sure I'll be able to manage whatever comes afterwards."

Had anyone else said such a thing Jadeite was certain that he would have felt nothing but contempt for their passivity. Life was a struggle and simply waiting for things to come to you was a sure sign of weakness, but in Kasumi's case her unabashed dedication to her family was almost...admirable, albeit clearly misplaced in his opinion. Still, while he couldn't dispute the Tendo's total commitment to her family the general could tell that she wasn't as equanimous about her future as she claimed. What must it feel like, the jaded mystic wondered, to see those you lived for and sacrificed everything for grow up around you and know that one day they would leave you? That the role you had created for yourself over many years of service and selflessness would one day disappear? Kasumi obviously had dreams and hopes, of course, but how often did she act to bring them closer to fulfillment instead of waiting for others to act for her? And if someone did come promising to make her dreams come true, would Kasumi seize the opportunity or continue to put her family ahead of herself?

The answer to that question was elementary, Jadeite knew, but he also knew with a confidence borne of familiarity with humanity that it wouldn't be an easy decision, not even for Kasumi. Dreams were special because they were so precious, and a person could only subordinate them for another's sake for so long before beginning to question oneself. This could be the opening he'd been looking for.

"That doesn't mean you shouldn't start preparing for your own future, though," Jadeite replied with false helpfulness, gears in his mind whirring. "Trust me, I've seen far too many people wait for opportunity to come knocking on their door when they'd be better off going outside and creating their own opportunities. If there's something you want to do, pursue it with every ounce of determination in your soul. If your friends and family truly care about you, then they'll support you in your undertaking."

The wholesome brunette smiled kindly at him and took another drink from her cup of coffee. Upon setting the mug down again she opened her mouth to speak. "And that's what I'm doing for my family right now, Mister Jadeite. It's been hard on us ever since our mother died, and they need my support. Things are beginning to look up for all of them, though, and once Akane's married and Nabiki goes to college I'll be able to pursue my dreams and receive their support."

The ancient general decided against voicing his doubts about the validity of the latter's belief in her family since, in his experience, humans often took what they received for granted and seldom reciprocated the favor afterwards. Besides, there was another, more rewarding line of inquiry open to him. "But then," he began, face taking on a contemplative look, "what are your dreams, Kasumi? If you could do _anything_," he asked, placing extra emphasis on the 'anything,' "what would it be?"

"Anything's a pretty large list to choose from," Kasumi answered slowly, considering his question carefully. She leaned back in her chair and closed her eyes for a moment, mulling over the possibilities. Finally, a look of resolution flashed across her features and she gazed at him intently. Tone serious, she gave her answer. "Of all the things I could choose to be, I think I'd choose to be a...warlock!"

"..."

Jadeite blinked, and then he blinked again for good measure. For her part, Kasumi managed to hold her resolute expression for another five seconds before breaking out into an amused smile and chuckling melodiously. Clearly, Jadeite concluded, cracking his companion's placid surface was going to require a lot more work than he'd anticipated...

And yet, for some reason, the cold-hearted general didn't mind at all.

000ooo000000ooo000

The cloaked and kneeling woman continued her silent vigil, peering into a darkness darker and more absolute than any night and letting the comforting caress of oblivion enshroud her. The cosmic symphony of stars and planets that surrounded her had long since lost any charm it might once have held for her weary soul, and now she longed only for the peace and finality of the Void. It was her dream, her wish, and her eternal paradise all mingled into one consuming aspiration, and she had made a vow ages ago on the other side of the abyssal maw she faced that she was determined to keep.

And all that stood between her and the fulfillment of her promise was the infinite multiverse.

Another might have despaired at the sheer impossibility of such a gargantuan task or gone mad over its heavy weight and incalculable carnage, but Jadeite's dark mistress had proceeded along her appointed mission with the same cold-hearted calculation and machine-like logic that she had employed during her former life before discovering her true calling. The annihilation of all reality was a surprisingly common enough goal (or, perhaps, unsurprisingly, considering the self-destructive tendencies of so many intelligent life-forms), and she'd had plenty of case studies to research and learn from. She'd ascertained much from the mistakes of her forbears and, after careful review, identified a cardinal flaw they nearly all shared.

Concisely put, her nihilistic predecessors had been overconfident egomaniacs who usually couldn't destroy a mere continent let alone an entire world without letting every hero and cosmic entity within five planes know what they were up to. Idiots. If you broadcast your intentions to wipe out every realm then you really didn't have a right to feign surprise when heroes, gods, and even villains and demons who rather enjoyed being alive started knocking on your door to punch you in the face and thwart you like the cartoon villain of the week, so to speak. And once you riled powers greater than yourself defeat became nearly a foregone conclusion, so why challenge fate and fight against the odds...

...when you could fix the odds in your favor?

The shrouded figure's lips stretched upwards in a tiny, grim smile within the shadows of her hood as she recalled the discovery she'd made what seemed like eons ago. There was more than a grain of truth in the old axiom that the universe was always a few steps away from disaster, and as she'd fixed her gaze across the multiverse she'd realized that it was similar to a tapestry. A tapestry on a cosmic, infinite scale constantly growing in every conceivable direction, but a tapestry nonetheless comprised of threads of fate and destiny. If you tried to destroy the tapestry all at once, say by setting it ablaze, then its caretakers would notice the smoke and immediately put the fire out. If you frayed a few threads here, unraveled a couple there, and snipped several every so often instead, however, then the damage could easily be mistaken for the expected wear and tear of time. Keep the pattern up and the tapestry would become weaker and more delicate until, finally, a few surgical strikes could cause the entire fabric to unravel. The residual entropic energies released after summoning the Void to consume a world further accelerated the process.

Thousands of worlds had fallen before her, and thousands more still awaited her coming, but with each victory the ancient crusader came that much closer to making her nihilistic vision a reality and she knew with dreadful certainty that time was on her side. The Void had changed her, _remade_ her in its own likeness, and she had taken on its eternal aspects. Every so often a world escaped her, but what was one loss when a hundred more ceased to be? She was immortal and her triumph inevitable, and as long as she chose her targets carefully and kept her wits about her no one would ever be able to stop her until it was too late.

"No one at all," the dark mistress repeated smoothly, her words carrying a strangely heavy yet hollow weight in this impossible plane. She calmly reached for her metallic staff with her left hand and gripped it tightly between the two orbs built into its shaft. If anyone had been able to pierce the darkness of her hood right then they would have been terrified to see the eager smile that suddenly played across her pale face. "Though it's always fun to see who tries..."

000ooo000000ooo000

The first thing Ranma-chan noted when she came to was that she had a splitting headache. This was bad. The second thing was that she was sitting in a rather comfortable fluffy chair. This was good. The third thing was that she appeared to be strapped to the chair by tough, furry restraints. This was bad...and a little strange, although to be fair waking up to strangeness was par the course for her. The only question now was whether opening her eyes and facing the world was worth it or...ah, forget it. The answer to that one was obviously "no," but the redhead knew that despite her screaming and unfortunately oft ignored common sense she was going to find out what was going on right now anyway.

And so the powerful redhead opened her eyes...and immediately wished she hadn't, which was also par the course for her.

"This is _not_ what I signed up for," Ranma-chan commented unhappily from the center of a cubic, static-limned room where she sat bound to a bright pink and fluffy reclining chair by equally fluffy and pink restraints around her ankles, legs, waist, wrists, arms, and neck. Adding to her discontent was the catheter in her right arm connected to the intravenous dripper set-up alongside the chair. The medical device was, unsurprisingly, pink as well and seemed to be...shining?

"Oh, I'd say this is _exactly_ what you signed up for," the Master replied from behind her, clear amusement in her voice as she walked forward to stand slightly in front of her new student and turned to face her. "You did ask for the accelerated training, after all." The silver-haired woman's grin was almost shark-like.

Ranma-chan opened her mouth to continue her protests, but then thought better of it and let out an exasperated sigh instead. There was another matter she wanted answers to anyway. "Ignoring, for the moment, the questions of how being strapped to a chair and immobilized counts as training or why there's an _IV_ in my arm, how exactly did you knock me out earlier? You didn't touch any pressure points, and I didn't sense any ki either."

A startled look flashed across the Master of Pretty Magical Girl Martial Arts' face at her student's astuteness, but it quickly resolved into an expression of pleasant surprise and approval. "Very observant of you, Ranko," she complimented, clasping her hands in front of her and assuming a serious demeanor. "You seem to have a good understanding of martial arts, so I think it's time to share the secret of my style with you. You might as well know the truth before we continue." The silver-haired sensei closed her eyes and took a deep breath, deportment radiating tranquility and solemnity. For the first time since opening her eyes, Ranma-chan was actually eager to hear what her teacher had to say.

"At its most basic level, martial arts is simply an exercise in honing the physical body by boosting speed, strengthening muscles, quickening reflexes, and so on," the Master explained slowly, keeping her eyes closed and voice low as she focused on something only she could see. "At higher levels, martial arts shifts from being an exercise of the body to an exercise of ki, the power of life, and by channeling this power martial artists can accomplish miraculous feats that outshine the accomplishments of even the most physically adept. Some go so far as saying that there is nothing that is impossible for a true master of ki." A tiny smirk crossed the Master's face as she said this. "Whether that's true or false is a question for others, but there is an even _higher_ level of martial arts that most people are completely unaware of."

Her pink eyes opened and fixed themselves intently on Ranma-chan's own blue eyes. "Ki is common to all living things, and in that sense even the mightiest human has something in common with the tiniest blade of grass. There is a distinguishing feature between that which is simply alive and those who truly live, though, and that feature is called the soul. And just as martial artists who master ki go far beyond martial artists who master only the body, martial artists who master the soul reach greater heights yet. The power of the soul is so inconceivably great, why, you might as well call it 'magic'." The Master winked once conspiratorially at the redhead as she shared this secret. "As for your other questions..." The silver-haired matron clapped her hands together eagerly, as if happy to finally have the chance to explain her actions.

"Inside the heart of every young woman lives a magical girl," she stated solemnly, placing her hands over her chest. "Rare it is for anyone to discover this mystic warrior within themselves and rarer yet to successfully channel this force, but once awakened nothing becomes impossible for the girl who embodies the magical power of the heart, otherwise known as the power of the soul." Another smile crossed the older woman's face, an expression of quiet happiness and sublime revelation that was a sharp contrast to her usual appearance of dry amusement. Slowly, she stretched her arms outward and twirled to encompass the entire room in her gesture, silver hair and the folds of her gray kimono spinning out around her.

"Normally it takes weeks or even months of meditation to even hear this inner voice, but what you will experience in this room will condense the process into a matter of days and hours." The cursed Saotome's new master bent over the young woman and placed her hands on top of her shoulders. Ranma-chan gulped. "I'm expecting great things from you, Ranko, and with your stubbo-...er, _resolve_ I'm confident this will be successful. As for the IV, well," she shrugged once and smirked charmingly. "That's there to give your body the nourishment it needs. Oh, and don't mind the tube's pink glow. That's only pixie dust."

"You're pumping me full of WHAT?" Ranma-chan screeched, no longer able to maintain her calm composure. The Master winced at the high volume but otherwise remained unphased.

"Again, the pixie dust is only to accelerate the growth of your soul reserves that the full-length training would normally take care of," the mystical teacher answered placatingly. "And don't be concerned about possible side-effects. Magical girls beat the odds all the time!" Ignoring her student's spluttering, she straightened up and walked behind the recliner chair to reach for something. "Besides, you're a _girl_ so there's absolutely nothing that could conceivably go wrong here!"

_That_ silenced Ranma-chan and she froze, mind racing as she considered whether she should tell the Master about her Jusenkyo curse. The redhead never got the chance to reach a decision, though, as the Master proudly held up the sleek, pink helmet she'd retrieved from behind the chair and slammed it over her student's head, effectively muffling any further protests.

"And with the sensory input enhancer in place," the pink-eyed woman began, beaming, "it's time to begin your...HYPER-ACCELERATED TURBO-MYSTICAL PRETTY MAGICAL GIRL ULTRA-TRAINING MIRACLE COURSE!" She twirled, stretched, and pirouetted for a full two minutes before finally coming to a stop and collecting herself. She then casually walked to the back of the room and placed her left hand against a part of the static-y wall that looked indistinguishable from the rest of the chamber but which slid aside anyway to let her pass, revealing a traditionally wooden room on the other side where Shogi and Kuroyo sat, waiting. As she stepped outside, the walls of the cell Ranma-chan was confined in suddenly resolved into brilliant color and imagery and the opening bars of "Moonlight Densetsu" could be heard.

Not even the helmet could silence Ranma-chan's loud screams.

"Geez," the Master of Pretty Magical Girl Martial Arts remarked wryly as the chamber's door slid shut behind her again. "The way she's reacting...you'd think I was forcing her to watch the DiC dub of Sailor Moon!"

Animal familiars and sensei alike all shuddered simultaneously.

* * *

Author's Notes:

(1) Someone in fact had...but unfortunately for Ryouga it was almost entirely exclusive to secret agents and bishounen in shōjo manga, of which he was neither.

(2) The knowledge of how to make one's hair blow in unseen and nonexistent winds is, in addition to being part of the Pretty Magical Girl Martial Arts' curriculum, a secret technique practiced throughout the multiverse by long-haired individuals everywhere.

(3) Kasumi from "Ranma 1/2" and Belldandy from "Ah! My Goddess!" have both been voiced by the same Japanese seiyū, Inoue Kikuko.

Addendum: Well, first let me apologize for the long wait. I had planned to post this chapter earlier, but editing took longer than I expected and even now I feel that it might still be a bit _too_ silly in places. I've also been trying my hand at original fiction and, after several missteps, finally seem to be having some success at writing a story that I hope to turn into a novel someday, so I've been spending time on that too. I'm going to try to have chapter three of this tale ready before Christmas, but there's a _lot_ I want to include in it so please don't take that as a definite.

Secondly, I want to thank everyone who sent me feedback on the first chapter. It was very encouraging and helped me rewrite and refine several scenes in this chapter that, in my opinion, made it a lot better. It might not always be obvious, but trust me when I say that your words have an effect.

Thirdly, due to some challenging words on my part I now find myself in a contest with the esteemed Lathis for "most absurd and ridiculous Ranma 1/2 mega-crossover of the year." He has brilliant characterizations, thirty plus crossovers and counting, hilarious dialogue, and a sizable lead. I have...uh, a Kasumi and Jadeite pairing, maybe, and an ace in the hole whose identity probably isn't much of a secret because I'm dropping what I think are blatantly obvious hints? Heh, seriously though, if you haven't taken a look at "Eureka" yet and enjoy this story at all, pay Lathis' profile a visit and read his mega-crossover. I'm confident you won't be disappointed, and it's an inspiration to me to work even harder on my own tale.

And that's it for now so, good night and thanks for reading and bearing with me. I hope you've enjoyed this installment.


	3. Chapter 3

Title: Magical Girl Ranko vs. Z-Fighter Ryouga

Author: Rowan Seven

Teaser: Ranma's magical girl training begins in earnest as Jadeite continues to investigate Kasumi. Meanwhile, Ryouga has some explaining to do but will it be enough to help him reclaim his main character status from Ranma? Probably not.

Disclaimer: Ranma 1/2, Dragonball Z, Sailor Moon, Looney Tunes, and any other series I mention belong to their respective creators and copyright holders, as do the other characters and settings in this story that don't belong to me. I make no claims to these characters and am making no financial profit from writing this story.

Author's Notes: Marked with (#) and posted at the end.

* * *

Chapter 3 – Prelude to the Not Quite Final Countdown!

"There is something fundamentally wrong with the world right now," Nabiki commented in her normal dry fashion, stretching her arms above her head as she leaned back from her finished bowl of ramen on the table. "Ranma's gone, Ryouga's managed to stay in town for almost an entire week, and, most tellingly of all, Kasumi left us to fend for ourselves for dinner so she could go on a date! Do you think it's demon possession or alien invasion this time, sis?"

Sitting on the floor across from her sister in the Tendo's dining room, Akane flashed her older sister an amused grin as she teased her in return. "I can understand being jealous over Kasumi having a hot date while we're stuck at the house on a Saturday night, but there's no need to overreact Nabiki." A minor scowl suddenly flashed across her face. "Besides, it's not like Kasumi abandoned us. I'm a perfectly good cook and would have been happy to fill in for her if you and Dad had given me the chance."

The shapely, short-cropped brunette rolled her eyes and let the ensuing silence speak for her. While Nabiki loved her youngest sister, she didn't love her cooking and if it hadn't been for her quick thinking and willingness to exchange information about Ranma's whereabouts with Shampoo for free food the entire household would have been consigned to a fate worse than an all night marathon of the movies Mystery Science Theater 3000 spoofed without the sanity saving commentary of Mike and his robot sidekicks. "Whatever. I have better things to do with my time than go out with Sailor Moon villain look-alikes."

"Waaah! My eldest daughter is being seduced by the Dark Kingdom who will steal her pure, innocent heart and turn her into a youma!"

Akane and Nabiki exchanged a look of shared exasperation as their wailing father strode past outside the house, tears streaming down his face and features etched with concern and worry. Soun was having...trouble adjusting to the fact that Kasumi was spending so much time with an almost perfect stranger with a mysterious past and professed habit of vagabonding, and it was sending his already exacerbated parenting instincts into overdrive. His other two daughters could only shake their heads at his antics and wild assumptions. After all, _everyone_ knew that it was the Death Busters who stole hearts, not the Dark Kingdom.

"Resemblance to you know who aside," Nabiki ventured after a moment as their father's bawling faded away, seriousness replacing her earlier playful banter, "don't you think this Jadeite character is a little odd? While I'm all for boldness, when has anybody _ever_ mustered enough nerve to ask Kasumi out on a date the very first day they met her, and for _coffee_ to boot! I've seen enough American movies to know what asking somebody out for coffee actually means!"

The blue-haired Tendo blinked at her sister's excited tones and briefly wondered why she was getting so worked up over this. While it was true that she had some reservations about the blond gentleman Kasumi had introduced the entire family to and wondered what this meant for her sister's relationship with Dr. Tofu, so far nothing about the situation had given her cause to worry and she was even embarrassed by the amount of interest both Soun and Nabiki were showing in her oldest sister's personal life. Wasn't there any privacy at all in this family?

...Akane blinked again, this time at the silly question and its patently obvious answer. Really, considering her own experiences with her family and Ranma, she should know better by now. "Nabiki..." she began with a sigh, already knowing that her efforts were virtually futile, "don't you think you're reading a bit too much into the situation? Kasumi hasn't described Jadeite as anything more than a friend, and from what she's said he isn't going to be in Tokyo for very long so it makes sense that she'd spend a lot of time with him before he leaves. There's nothing suspicious about that."

The sharp brunette shrugged once. "If you say so, sis. I guess one could say the same thing about you and Ryouga, and we both know there's nothing going on there." The double-meaning went completely over her sister's head, though Nabiki had expected as much despite it boggling her mind at times how her sister could be so totally oblivious to Ryouga's blatant crush on her. One would think the gifts would be a dead giveaway, although Nabiki couldn't complain about her sister's denseness in the most recent case because without her sister feeling strongly about the hover car the Lost Boy had given her she was free to show it off and charge an arm and a leg to the automotive industry engineers who had expressed interest in it. If she played her cards right (and there really was no _if_ about that) she'd be set for life, not that she'd be satisfied with that but it was a good place to start.

"I'm home!" Kasumi chimed from the front door, inadvertently interrupting her sister's schemes of financial empire as she took her shoes off at the entryway and slid into a pair of slippers. That taken care of, the cheerful brunette casually walked over to the dining room and joined her expectant sisters who greeted her with the traditional, "Welcome home."

Wearing her usual beatific smile, the eldest Tendo daughter regarded her sisters. "I hope everything went smoothly while I was away-"

"Kasumi, you're safe!" Soun interrupted with palpable relief, appearing behind her with such suddenness one could almost hear the displaced air. He wrapped his arms around her in a protective hug, happy tears streaming from his face. "Jadeite didn't try to steal your life energy, did he? Don't worry about a thing, daughter. I'll protect you from the dangers of the Black Moon Family!"

Composure not affected in the slightest, Kasumi gently moved out of her father's embrace and turned to reassure him. "There's no need to worry, Dad. Again, Jadeite's just a good friend of mine and he's _not_ a supervillain trying to summon a demon into the world. Besides," she continued, corners of her mouth quirking up just a little, "it's the Dark Kingdom. The Black Moon Family didn't enter the series until the second season." A thought occurred to her. "By the way, where's Mister Saotome? Did he go looking for Ranma?"

Despite his inability to keep track of Sailor Moon villains, Soun puffed up proudly. "Fearing for your safety, I sent him into town to purchase wards that will protect you and this house from dark forces and..." Soun's words trailed off as he made a sudden realization. "...that was several hours ago so he should've been back by now unless..." He recalled just how much yen he'd handed his longtime and questionably trustworthy friend to pay for the wards and an expression of panic spread across his features. "Daughters, keep an eye on the house for a bit, all right? I think I should _check up_ on Genma and make sure he's okay."

As their father ran out of the house, the three Tendo sisters shrugged helplessly, put the incident behind them, and went back to their conversation. "So..." Nabiki began with unabashed curiosity, "what did you and Jadeite do tonight? Did he take you to another coffee shop?"

Kasumi shook her head as she sat down in front of another side of the table. "We actually went to the Ueno Zoo and then spent some time walking around the park. Jadeite hadn't been there before so I told him he should see it before leaving. He really seemed to like the place."

"Uh huh," the darker brunette replied with a trace of skepticism in her voice, making it clear what or rather whom she thought Jadeite had _truly_ liked about the evening. "I don't suppose he mentioned when he's leaving, did he? Your _friend's_ been around for almost a week now."

Again and seemingly oblivious to her sister's innuendo (there were times when Nabiki seriously wondered if she was the _only_ perceptive one in the family), Kasumi shrugged. "Can't say I do, though from the way Jadeite talks it'll probably be soon. I get the sense that he's on a schedule of some sort."

"Really?" Akane asked, face scrunching up in puzzlement as an incongruity struck her. "Isn't he simply traveling the world and doing odd jobs along the way to finance his trip? Why would Jadeite be in a hurry if there's nowhere he needs to be?"

Strangely, Kasumi's smile grew larger at this question and an expression that could almost be considered sly crossed her features. "Well...truth be told, I don't think Jadeite's been completely honest with me about his profession. From what he's told me about himself, there's clearly only one conclusion that can be drawn."

Nabiki immediately perked up at this and didn't even bother to hide the hungry interest in her eyes. Akane likewise gazed at her sister intently, curious what she had figured out about the blue-eyed stranger who'd suddenly entered her life.

"Jadeite is actually a government secret agent."

Both younger Tendo sisters blinked simultaneously at this news and regarded their sibling with perplexity. Unphased by their puzzled expressions, the kindhearted brunette continued. "Really, considering his polished good looks, endless supply of funds, vast network of acquaintances, new job every day, and secretiveness about his past, there's no other explanation than him being a spy."

Akane opened, promptly shut, and then opened her mouth again but no sound came out as she failed to come up with an intelligent response to her sister's statement. For her part, Nabiki stared in silence for a moment at the beaming Kasumi who was apparently quite proud of her deduction and forced the laughter she felt threatening to erupt back down her throat. Then, unable to hold back the amused smile she felt growing, she prepared to gently point out the flaws in her sister's reasoning...

"Waah! My daughter's gotten herself involved in a global criminal conspiracy to take over the world and is now the target of expert kidnappers and assassins!"

...but then thought better of it as a certain someone's even greater leap of illogic put things in better perspective.

As one, the three Tendo sisters turned to face their once again wailing father whose tears were – also once again – threatening to flood the house. "Weren't you looking for Genma?" Nabiki asked with unmistakable exasperation in her voice. "What are you doing back so early?"

"There's no time to look for my friend when my daughter's life is in danger!" Soun answered valiantly, head raised and wet eyes focused on some point only he could see. Stature rigid with purpose, the eldest Tendo pointed at the nearest closest. "Now, while there's still time, I'm going to install our Arquillian security system! Even if it costs me my life, I will protect all of you!"

As was becoming an even more regular than usual occurrence, Akane and Nabiki exchanged another shared look as their father disappeared inside the nearest closet and started rooting through boxes. "Arquillian security system?" Akane repeated doubtfully. "Do we even have one of those, whatever those are?"

Surprisingly, it was Kasumi who answered. "Those nice men in black who came to see if Grandfather Happosai was an alien gave Dad one to apologize for the inconvenience." At her sisters' looks of incomprehension, Kasumi blinked in honest puzzlement. "Hm? Funny, Dad doesn't seem to remember them either. How strange..." She shrugged once good-naturedly and rose. "Oh well, I think I'll get ready for bed now anyway. Good night, Nabiki and Akane. I'll see the two of you in the morning."

As the eldest Tendo sister left, the middle one processed all of the night's most recent events with her sharp, analytic mind and came to an unmistakable conclusion. "Heh, and to think I was worried that things might become boring without Ranma around. It appears that the two of you aren't the center of _all_ the chaos after all, sis."

"Hey! ...I don't know whether that's an insult or a compliment."

000ooo000000ooo000

Ryouga was silent as he stood and waited in the center of the domed alien dwelling he found himself in. Behind him and keeping a cautious but not unfriendly eye on the Eternally Lost Boy was the seemingly ever composed namekian Nall whose tall, lean green body belied his incredible formidableness. Farther back was the smallest and youngest of those present, a namekian boy clad in a red and white robe by the name of Dende who the human martial artist and his companions had befriended. The battle-hardened Hibiki, however, paid attention only to the shriveled, obese, and yet somehow still venerable green elder who sat in front of him. The alien leader's declining health was apparent, but despite this the large namekian radiated a quiet inner strength that was simultaneously calming and reassuring. Based on personal experience, Ryouga normally distrusted ancient masters – particularly elderly male ancient masters, Roshi having done nothing but further confirm this opinion – but Krillin had said that the namekian elder could unlock hidden powers and with everything that was going on right now he and his friends desperately needed every advantage they could get, even if it came from a creepy old guy. Besides, confronted by such a saintly aura he could put aside his reflexive distrust for a while.

"I sense a great power within you, young warrior," Guru said at last in a voice that was at both frail with age but firm with wisdom. Hearing this immediately brought a small grin of satisfaction to the fanged Hibiki's face, but the namekian elder was not done speaking yet. "However," the alien leader went on, a concerned frown forming on his ancient and weathered features, "I also sense that it is a dark, destructive power that will resist all attempts to control it."

Ryouga's smile quickly turned askance. That was not what he'd wanted to hear. As if being forever lost and turning into a pig when wet wasn't enough, he also had a dark, uncontrollable power buried within him? And people actually wondered why he felt that heaven was out to get him! The eternal wanderer almost wanted to ask if things could possibly get any worse, but the five titanic auras he could sense around the planet plus the sixth that made every other look like a blade of grass next to a tree let him know that, yes, things definitely could and if he even wanted to stand a remote chance now was not the time to play things safe.

"Can you unlock it, though?" the young man asked, unable to completely hide the anxiousness or the concern in his brown eyes. He'd had nightmares of losing control of himself and his power before, and they never ended well. Still, desperate times called for desperate measures, and if he couldn't stay alive long enough to get back to Nerima and kill Ranma than he might as well just die right now and- wait, that didn't sound like how he'd meant it to...

Guru was silent for long, tense moment, but eventually he moved his large head in a slight nod. "Yes, earthling. I can unlock the power within you." The ancient alien sighed once, heavily. "Though doing so would give me reason to fear for your eternal soul. Still, not even I can say with certainty what the outcome would be, and you and your friends possess kind hearts. Never lose that trait nor sight of what you desire to protect most, and you might persevere." The green elder's frown deepened as he made up his mind. "If you wish to continue, come stand beside me and I will do my best. Your fate is, as always, yours and yours alone to decide."

Ryouga hesitated for only a second before he made his decision. With solemn but certain steps the human made his way to Guru's side, worried about the consequences of going through with this but even more worried about the consequences of _not_ acting. Guru, grave mood unmistakable, leaned forward and placed one massive hand on top of the Lost Boy's head. He gently ruffled the human's black hair once in a gesture of reassurance, and then he closed his eyes and entered a state of deep concentration.

Seconds passed, and then several more. Nothing happened. Ryouga blinked, disappointed by the sense of anticlimax and wondering if he was being played for a fool. Maybe Guru was mistaken or, more cynically, perhaps he was lying about his willingness to unlock whatever power he sensed. You never really could trust those ancient ma...sster...sss...

...

Uh-oh.

Ryouga screamed in torment as his ki felt like it was ripped apart and shredded into thousands of painful shards, shards that immediately erupted with a power greater than anything he had ever known before and yet strangely familiar to him too. The power coursed through him, intoxicated him, seared his mind, frightened him to the core of his being, but also excited him in ways he couldn't describe. The Lost Boy didn't know what to do or what to think, but through it all he could feel the namek elder's firm hand on his head and this lone constant was enough to enable him to stay on his feet and endure the process.

At least for a few more seconds, which was when his terrible agony was replaced by an even more frightening and endless cold-

And then Ryouga awoke with a start from his dream only to come face to face with a nightmare. Short nerves already frayed from his recollection filled sleep and frayed even further by the demonic, wrinkled face that watched him from the opening of his tent, the Lost Boy released a horrified scream and let battle-honed reflexes guide him. In under a second he'd rolled out of his sleeping bag and raised his left fist, the hand glowing with enough ki to obliterate the monstrous imp that dared to trespass against him. He narrowed his eyes and prepared to unleash his verdant power-

"Idiotic boy, calm yourself! It is I, Cologne."

And prepared to unleash his verdant power and- bleh?

The young martial artist let his ki subside and rubbed his sleep-filled eyes before turning to examine the intruder more closely. Sure enough, the ancient face and scheming eyes that had looked so sinister in the immediate afterglow of slumber belonged to none other than the Amazon matriarch who was currently standing just inside the entrance to his tent, gnarled staff at her side and a disapproving expression on her wizened features. Apparently she didn't much like coming within a hair's breadth of death, not that Ryouga blamed her for that just as she hopefully didn't blame him for mistaking her for a demon in the darkness. Surely this wasn't the first time that had happened to her, right?

"Cologne? Wha...what are you doing in Hakodate?" Ryouga asked as he sat down, drowsiness fading from the shock of meeting this unexpected midnight visitor. Apparently it wasn't fading fast enough for the Amazon's liking, though, because she shook her head and cast her staff a wistful look, as if wishing that she were still fast enough to bash it over his head.

"Not that it makes much difference to you, Ryouga, but you're behind Furinkan on one of their athletic fields right now," the white-haired elder said slowly, speaking to the Lost Boy as if he were a small child in order to give his cognitive functions something they were better prepared to handle right then. Before he could reply with another – probably inane, she suspected – comment, Cologne held up her right hand preemptively. "Yes, I know you are wondering what I am doing here at this hour and why I have interrupted your repose. Rest assured, it is not because I enjoy watching you while you sleep."

Ryouga bristled at her condescending humor, just as Cologne had expected. Good. The anger would help clear his head. "Now then," she began, haughty grin disappearing and becoming something more serious, "there is something I have wanted to ask you these past couple days and my curiosity will wait no longer. Tell me, boy, how did you gain such incredible power? As your former teacher in the martial arts the least you owe me is an explanation."

"What? You want to know what I've been up to these past two y-"

Oh-ho! Bingo.

The Lost Boy, realizing his mistake a second too late, frantically waved his hands and tried to backpedal. It was almost comically unconvincing. "I mean, ehehe, one month? Sorry, I'm still, uh, pretty sleepy so my, ah, dates are a...um...bit off? After all, if I'd...um...been gone two years it would, ah, surely be seeable, right? And you know that-"

"You got lost in space and time, didn't you?" Cologne asked, although it really wasn't a question.

Ryouga laughed nervously, as if trying to dismiss her words as nonsense, but his feeble attempts at protest were about as effective against her penetrating stare as his attempts to not get splashed by cold water had been before the removal of his Jusenkyo curse. After a few more seconds the brown-eyed youth's will to resist finally deflated and he released a heavy sigh. "Yeah, I suppose that's how you could put it," he admitted at last, lowering his eyes to the ground of his tent as he considered how to go about this. "So, um, do you want the short version or the long version?"

"The long version," Cologne answered with a crooked smile. "After all, now that we're both conveniently awake you have all night in which to tell me about your experiences." She moved further inside the tent and took a seat across from the Lost Boy, sharp eyes watching him like a hawk.

"Well, it all started somewhere in North America..."

To her credit, the Amazon matriarch never lost her straight face as Ryouga related his strange and at times patently ridiculous tale to her, the only indication she ever gave of surprise or amusement being raised eyebrows. Every now and then she'd interrupt to ask a few questions or clarify a detail, but for the most part she remained quiet throughout the retelling, letting her mind process and mull over his words instead. Only when the sun began its slow ascent over the horizon and the Lost Boy's story reached the present did she at last allow herself to speak.

"That is the second most absurd tale I have heard in the past century, but since I doubt even your overactive imagination would manufacture a fable that far-fetched I find myself inclined to believe you. And besides," she noted, devious smile returning to her features, "I can hardly argue with the size of your ki. And you say that there are people even more powerful than you where you came from?"

Ryouga nodded, wearing a slight frown. While he was certain that he wasn't anywhere near as egocentric as his notoriously overconfident rival, the Lost Boy still had a fair amount of pride and liked to think that he ranked highly on the martial artist's meter. When set beside the likes of Son Goku, though, well...that was still something of a sore spot for him. "Aliens, mostly, but yeah. My technical skill is probably better than theirs, but compared to the sheer might of a super saiyan or whatever race Frieza hailed from...my own ki doesn't even begin to compete."

He perked up immediately though as his thoughts returned to his own world. "Compared to the likes of Ranma, however...heheheh. It feels great to know that I've _finally_ beaten that arrogant jerk and there's nothing he can do about it!"

Cologne's solemn voice cut his triumphant euphoria short. "Don't let your experiences in that other world deceive you into believing that power is everything, Ryouga. Skill and intelligence still have their places, and Son-in-Law is one of the cleverest practitioners of the Art I have met in generations. It would be unwise to underestimate him."

Ryouga looked at his companion incredulously. "Give me some credit, Cologne. Skill was one of the few advantages I had in that other dimension and I've been honing it just as much as anything else. With two years of training under my belt and my new ki reserves, do you really believe Ranma stands even a remote chance against me?"

The ancient martial arts master was silent for several seconds. "No," she answered at last, but before the Lost Boy could grin at her admission and confirmation of his own assessment she continued. "However, Ranma has surprised me before and he may do so again. If the information my great granddaughter has obtained is true, then Son-in-Law is taking drastic measures to get ready for your next fight and-" She shook her head once, wearily, as if to clear it of some stray or unwelcome thought. "-as a sign of gratitude for your honesty, let me give you a warning."

"Be prepared for anything."

000ooo000000ooo000

Entering through the same indiscernible portal she'd exited a few days ago, the silver-haired master scanned her unorthodox training room with her piercing pink eyes. The walls that had earlier hustled through the entire animated Sailor Moon series followed by a set of discourses designed to stimulate the inner magical warrior of justice and then gone through the entire Sailor Moon anime _again_ accompanied by her own brilliant, captivating, and oh so witty commentary were now blank, giving the chamber an almost expectant grey pallor. In the center of the room sat the still restrained and sleeping form of Ranma-chan, the helmet unable to completely hide her snoring. The young martial artist's repose was far from peaceful if one were to judge by her almost continual twitching, but with the displays deactivated this was the first opportunity she'd had to slumber in days and her body was making full use of it.

The sight of her student's discomfit brought a pensive frown to the Master's face, and with a silence borne of pure grace she walked over to the magical girl in training and stopped in front of her. Very gently, so as not to wake her, the older woman leaned over, placed her hands on both sides of the pink helmet, and pulled it off. The school's sensei's frown deepened at the sound of Ranma-chan's now unobstructed and nearly deafening snoring, but she did her best to ignore it as she intently examined the fiery redhead. Other than looking like she hadn't showered or moved from the chair in days which was true anyway the girl appeared fine, but the twitching was a cause for concern. After so much exposure to the ideals of love and justice her student's unconscious mind should have achieved an enlightened state of magical righteousness, but instead something seemed to be causing her deep distress. Was it possible that this special training had clashed disastrously with a fundamental aspect of her student's psyche, scarring her mind, wounding her soul, and leaving her open to a lawsuit from the girl's parents? Was it possible that all this had been in vain and-

"Zzzz...Ryouga, I'm gonna...pound ya into the dirt and then...Zzzzz...you're going to buy me a chocolate parfait! Zzzz..."

The Master smiled. While those weren't quite the words she'd been expecting, it appeared that contact with the youth's inner magical girl had been achieved and that she wouldn't have to forge Ranko's signature on a waiver of liability after all. Now the only question was whether to let the girl get some dearly needed sleep or continue with the accelerated training regimen. Considering the mentally exhausting experience her student had just gone through letting her rest seemed like the best option, but the martial artist _had_ said that she wanted to try to master the style in under a week and was there really anything else for her, as master of the school, to do in the meantime? She supposed that there were a few errands she should run, and there was also that mountain of paperwork on her desk to fill out-

Hm, well that settled it. As the Master of the School of Pretty Magical Girl Martial Arts it was her duty...no, her _sacred obligation_ to give her students her full, undivided attention and push them to realize their true potential! And although the redhead might resent it now, she'd understand someday that she was doing this all for her!

And so, without further aplomb, the sincerely dedicated teacher placed her left hand on Ranma-chan's right arm, reached for the connected IV, and yanked it out with one quick pull.

"YEEOUCH!" Ranma-chan shouted, coming to with a start and initial defensive reflexes hindered by the restraints. She thrashed around in the chair for a second before her blue eyes took in the sight of the fiendish woman who'd inflicted this cruel and unusual torture upon her, and any remnants of drowsiness that had not been chased away by the sensation of having a catheter pulled out of her arm vanished immediately. Neither able nor willing to contain her outrage, the young martial artist wasted no time in sharing her opinions with the elder matron.

"Are you out of your mind? This has gotta be maybe the fourth or fifth craziest training exercise I've suffered through!" Ranma-chan spluttered, closing her eyes briefly as she repressed a shudder at the memories of her Neko-ken training and some of Genma's other ridiculous teaching methods. What she saw with her eyes closed, though, only made her angrier. "And how come every time I blink I see rainbows and hear sickeningly upbeat music? I want answers, and I want them now!" She pushed against her bindings again. "And would you let me out of this accursed contraption already?"

The Master chuckled airily, which did nothing to calm Ranma-chan's temper. "I'm glad to see that the first part of my-" She briefly toyed with using the longer name with accompanying acrobatic feats but decided against it. No need to push her student over the edge yet when there was still so much work to do. "-advanced training regimen hasn't dimmed your spirit in the slightest. And judging by your words it seems this exercise has been a success, so we can move onto the next step immediately. If you'll just wait patiently for a moment..." she requested, releasing her student's arm as her left hand disappeared inside the voluminous folds of her grey kimono's sleeves in search of something.

"Like I have _any_ choice in the matter," Ranma-chan muttered sourly, still furious but, unlike a certain rival of hers who she had the strangest urge to demand ice cream from, quite capable of looking beyond her anger to rationally assess a situation. That didn't mean she couldn't complain, of course, but her next unhappy words froze in her throat as her teacher at last produced the item she'd sought from her kimono.

A plain pendant with a red ruby at its center.

"Wha-what is that?" the transformed martial artist asked, fighting against the sudden fogginess that was falling over her mind at the sight of it. Everything else in the room seemed to fade away as the piece of jewelry seized her full attention, and the redhead realized that "plain" probably wasn't the best word to describe it. The pendant wasn't extravagantly decorated and consisted of a simple metal chain, the jewel that – while a little over the size of a 500 yen coin – was by no means humongous, and the pendant itself which could fit inside the palm of her hand. However, the longer one looked at it the more details emerged and the easier it was to see the masterful workmanship that had gone into producing this amulet. The chain links (was that actual gold?) were almost as minute as the eye of a needle and intricately interlocked in a virtually inseparable sequence, and the pendant was a flawless circle out of which the ruby protruded as if it was a natural growth, forming a smooth domed cap of sorts without any discernible facets in the red gem. _Pure_ was a better word to describe it instead of plain, and as she gazed at it Ranma-chan had a feeling that not even Lime would be strong enough to separate the jewel from its casing.

"This is your henshin tool," the Master explained matter-of-factly, but even though she was standing directly in front of the cursed Saotome her words sounded far off and distorted to the entranced martial artist, as if she was speaking from the other end of a vast abyss. "While you've been down here training I've been upstairs forging this amulet for you. It is attuned to your soul and will serve as a focuser of your soul's energies, making it easier for you to channel the power of your inner mystical warrior until such a day arrives when you have truly mastered its might and no longer require an aid to summon forth your soul's strength." Solemnly, she undid the amulet's clasp and fastened it around her student's neck. "Now, Ranko, your destiny is in your hands. To free yourself from your bindings and continue your training, say the incantation that your spirit sings! Listen to the melody of your soul and liberate yourself! Only you can-"

Ranma-chan easily ignored the increasingly meaningless rubbish her teacher was spouting. Even if she'd wanted to pay attention, her mind felt too heavy and clouded to focus on anything except the strange sensation of the amulet around her neck. It almost felt like it was somehow sinking into her although the martial artist knew that it wasn't even penetrating her clothing, but the peculiar feeling continued to grow until, abruptly, it felt like something inside her went "click" and the sinking sensation was replaced by the agony of an inner fire that consumed her body and rushed to her head. Burning words that shone with the intensity and brightness of a blazing torch inflamed her mind, and she gasped. Whether she desired to or not, these words would be spoken.

"Saotome School of Anything Goes Martial Arts Mystic Technique! Magical Mutation!"

The ruby at the pendant's center emitted a brilliant flash of white light that immediately disintegrated the pink restraints that held its owner in place and would have temporarily blinded the Master of Pretty Magical Girl Martial Arts had she not had the foresight to quickly don a pair of heart-shaped sunglasses. Before Ranma-chan could move or even revel in her regained freedom, however, seven rays of light, each one matching a color of the rainbow, burst forth from the pendant and wrapped themselves around the startled martial artist from head to toe, forming a spinning prismatic column that floated into the air. Though there was no nearby orchestra and the wall monitors remained silent, one could still hear the opening bars of an over-the-top, upbeat musical number as it emerged from unknown origins.

Unobtrusively, the Master withdrew a stop watch from her sleeves and clicked the top button to keep time.

The cocoon of color continued to spin for several seconds, glowing as bright and brilliant as any Christmas light display and growing in size as the redhead's arms apparently shot up and came together above her head, before abruptly speeding up as the prismatic rays took on a ribbon-like quality. Simultaneously, the bottom of the cylinder narrowed, its violet end tightening around the redhead's legs before dissolving into a pair of knee-height violet leather boots with four inch heels. Leaving sparkles in its wake the kaleidoscopic tornado continued to travel up and wrap itself around Ranma-chan's body, next evanescing into a ridiculously short pleated indigo skirt rapidly followed by a blue sash that snugly traced the narrow curve of her waist. The constricting ribbon dematerialized into a skintight, sleeveless green shirt next, accompanied by a yellow choker around the neck with the pendant fastened to it and yellow trim shoulders as the whirling light split into two separate strands to whirl up Ranma-chan's arms and weave a pair of matching orange elbow-length gloves.

Energetic theme music coming close to its crescendo, the two ribbon-esque halves met at the apex of the martial artist's joined hands and melted into a rain of crimson sparkles that showered down upon the cursed youth's head. Like an obstructed river that had finally broken its dam, Ranma-chan's red hair burst out of its pigtail and streamed out behind her like a glistening waterfall until finally stopping at her waist. It was only then that the young martial artist at last stopped spinning and froze in mid-air, a rainbow crest appearing on her forehead as, simultaneously, the image of a pair of rainbow-colored incandescent butterfly wings flashed behind her. A second later, the newly transformed magical girl dropped from the air and gracefully landed on both feet. When she opened her eyes their normal blue had been replaced with seven concentric circles of color, starting with red at the outside of the iris and moving inwards to violet.

Naturally, the first thing Ranma-chan did after her colorful transformation sequence was strike a dramatic pose for an even more dramatic speech. "I am Razzle Dazzle Ranko, the Magical Girl of Valor!" the redhead announced in a perky tone that not even Shampoo on a good day and epic sugar rush could hope to match, lifting her left leg up behind her for an eloquent twirl. "And in the name of all that is righteous under the rainbow-" Having rotated a full 360 degrees, the martial artist placed her left leg in front of her and pointed theatrically at some invisible object with her left hand. "-I will punish you!"

The Master didn't even bother to hide her pleased grin as she stopped her timer and glanced down at its readout. "Hm, 35.2 seconds, not bad. Not the longest transformation sequence I've witnessed but not too short either, and the lack of nudity is a definite plus." A thoughtful look crossed her deceptively youthful face. "Though, come to think of it, you are well endowed enough that you could probably give Devil Hunter Yohko a run for her money if you really wanted to."

Her silver-haired teacher's biting words snapped Ranma-chan out of whatever spell she was under, and the redhead's expression went from determined magical crusader of justice to absolutely mortified teenager in less time than it takes for Genma to come up with a lame excuse. "Oh heck no!" she cried out, examining herself in wide-eyed horror. "This has got to be a sick joke or a nightmare of some kind! There's no way I'm wearing this ridiculous get-up into a battle!" She didn't even want to think about the field day Kuno and Happosai would have with this, let alone Nabiki and her photo-editing skills.

The Master removed her sunglasses and slipped them back inside her left sleeve, revealing her pink eyes which sparkled with amusement...literally. "Oh, come now Ranko, don't be so petulant about this. This is the natural manifestation of your soul's power, and it could be worse, you know. Instead of a rainbow theme, you could have transformed into Rescue-Me Ranko the Magical Lifeguard." A decidedly cruel smirk fell across the martial arts instructor's face, and the sparkles around her eyes evaporated with a few mocking pops. "I think the outfit for that transformation consists of two clamshells and a narrow string of seaweed."

Ranma-chan balked. "How are you supposed to cover yourself with tha-...oh." The unwelcome mental image completed itself in the martial artist's mind as she got the point that you really _weren't_ supposed to cover yourself with that, and she shuddered. Perhaps this outfit wasn't the worst it could be after all, difficulty breathing aside, and she _had_ worn a bunny suit before so maybe...Oh no, she was NOT going to start seriously thinking about this.

"I still don't like it," the cursed Saotome said darkly, crossing her arms over her chest angrily. "And, ignoring the urge to spout absolutely absurd speeches for the moment, why is my hair longer? And my _legs_ too, for that matter? And I still don't get how any of this is going to help me win other than giving Ryouga a heart attack when he sees me transform...and don't you dare make any snide comments about that either!"

Deciding that, for once, caution was the better part of valor the older woman let the teasing remark she had prepared die in her throat. Instead, she tried to smile reassuringly which was, as far as Ranma-chan was concerned, about as reassuring as the yakuza saying they'd keep an eye on things for you. "Don't be deceived by the long heels and short skirt, Ranko. Your legs are the same size they've always been, I swear! As for your hair, meh, it's just a part of your new look. When you detransform it'll return its normal length. Probably." The shrewd teacher held up a finger, silencing the next unhappy protest that was on the tip of her student's tongue. "And, really, you're missing the most important point here! Yes, you look and sound ridiculous, but you've successfully tapped into your soul's reserves of power! And once you learn how to control those you'll be all but unbeatable, and that's what the next lesson will focus on. Listen to me and before the day ends you'll know how to dodge even the fastest of attacks!"

That got Ranma-chan's attention, and, although it was a struggle, she reined in her angry defiance for the moment. Much as she was beginning to think her obviously crazed sensei was simply full of hot air, finding a way to counter Ryouga's unbelievable speed was one of the reasons she was here and if the next part of this "advanced training regimen" was actually going to be edifying instead of utterly embarrassing then perhaps she could endure her teacher's madness for a bit longer. Slowly, she uncrossed her arms and cautiously (and carefully too since she wasn't used to such high heels) walked over to stand in front of her instructor. She then sized her up for a long, pregnant moment before finally nodding her head. "All right, 'Master', I'll go along with your absurd training methods one more time, but if I don't think what you teach next is helpful at all then that's it, we're finished, I'm outta here. Got it?"

The Master chuckled airily. "Trust me, this will be worth your while. And to show you how serious I am about your training, I'm going to call in some outside help for the next part." Proving that Mousse wasn't the only one who could hide an entire department store's worth of goods in clothing, Ranma-chan's teacher lashed out to the side with her left arm and caught a heart-shaped cell phone as it flew out of her sleeve and past her hand. Humming quietly to herself, she flipped the communicator open, dialed a number, and brought it to the side of her face. A few rings that sounded like chirping birds later, the other end picked up and the woman's nearly perennial smile widened.

"Hello Darkness, it's the Master calling." Although Ranma-chan couldn't hear what the voice on the other end said in reply and wasn't sure she wanted to since the temperature in the room seemed to drop precipitously whenever it spoke, the words appeared to annoy her teacher. "No, not the Timelord, the _other_ Master you play Soul Calibur 4 online with! Look, I have a new student and need somebody to help with the combat training, so it's time for you to pay up by sending her someone to fight. Oh for crying out-, Look, I won that last tournament fair and square and if you want to stop losing so badly then stop playing as Darth Vader all the time! I know he looks cool but if you want power _and_ speed you're better off choosing the Apprentice. Uh-uh. Okay, thanks. Wait, you're sending who? Isn't he dead? Oh right, merely a temporary inconvenience. All right, thanks again, ciao."

Flicking the communicator closed, the Master met the redhead's questioning look with a carefree shrug. "What? Just because I train heroic magical girls doesn't mean I can't have a professional relationship with the other side, and Darkness throws great LAN parties. Just don't tell Chaos I said that since the two of them are on the outs again."

Ranma-chan opened her mouth to respond but came up blank, the Master somehow managing to throw even her Nerima-weathered mind for a loop. Darkness and Chaos...on the outs? She talked as if the two abstract forces were a feuding teenage couple! Better focus on something else before her brain started to hurt more than it already did from her multimedia ordeal. "So, um, who's this Darkness person sending and how long until he shows up?"

Before the martial arts instructor and Soul Calibur 4 champion could answer, a sense of palpable dread suddenly saturated the chamber and both student and teacher found their attention drawn to the back right-hand corner of the room where an unnatural purple vortex materialized. Small at first, the blasphemous, arcane distortion grew until reaching a diameter of five feet and stopping, the torrents of magical energy taking a moment to stabilize. Then and with a bloodcurdling cry that would freeze even the blackest of human hearts a multitude of dark, winged shapes swarmed out of the unholy portal. Though they bore a resemblance to bats, there was an unsettling unnaturalness to them that was complemented by an overwhelming impression of malice. These clearly were not flying mammals of any sort, a fact made even more manifest as the winged creatures swirled down and around in a pattern that was somewhat similar to Ranma-chan's own transformation sequence but conjured the opposite emotions of fear and terror.

"I see Darkness has a sense of _humor_."

The powerful voice from within the swirling, shrieking column of shadows was almost hypnotic, each word articulated in a rich, cultivated tone that could have been called charming were it not for the corrosive undertones of cruelty and contempt. As if the comment had been a cue, the portal fizzled out of existence and the dark apparitions flew faster, beginning to blend and merge together into a shape that managed the incredible feat of being even more foreboding. Still covered in darkness, the figure that was emerging was heavily armored and tall, easily over seven feet in height with a pair of long, curved horns and massive bat-like wings that enhanced its already impressive stature. The next details to congeal were the cloven hooves and curved, sharp claws jutting out of the creature's four fingered hands, followed by its elongated, pointed ears and prominent fangs. Building into a frenzied climax of their own, the winged shadows continued to fuse into the monstrous outline at a faster and faster rate until, finally, the last one joined its kin and the darkness that had heretofore covered the creature sunk into it, revealing the baleful red of its ornate armor, pale, corpse-like skin, and eyes that glowed with undisguised malice and sinister intelligence.

Despite themselves, both Ranma-chan and the Master took a step backward.

The demon, for that was clearly what it was, smiled haughtily as it surveyed the two humans standing before it and then bowed slightly, somehow giving even that polite gesture a mocking overtone. "Greetings, mortals, and...well met. I am Tichondrius the Darkener, a Lord of the Nathrezim. I was informed that you have need of...training assistance?"

Recovering quickly from her initial shock at the new arrival's discomfiting entrance, the Master collected herself and, ignoring her guest's menace-filled pauses, nodded her head. "Yeah, I want to teach my student here-" She very clearly indicated Ranma-chan with her hands and grinned winningly at her student's dubious look. "-the proper way to evade attacks. So, if you would be kind enough to try – keyword there being 'try' – to eviscerate her for a while, you'd be a great aid."

Beside her teacher, the young Saotome rolled her eyes and shook her head. "I suppose you only want me to dodge while the demon tries – keyword being 'tries', as in does not succeed 'tries' – to kill me instead of actually fighting back, right?" Despite being phrased as a question, the redhead already knew the answer.

Seeing the Master nod again, the nathrezim's sinister smile grew wider, revealing even more of his sharp, pointed teeth. "My dear ladies, never let it be said that Tichondrius the Darkener passed up an opportunity to..._try_ to murder an aspiring do-gooder. Assisting you in this endeavor would be an _honor_." He held up his left hand in front of him, pale face peaking out behind the claws but his frightfully sadistic smile still apparent. "As a matter of fact, I say we begin-" The dreadlord suddenly slammed his left hand onto the ground, and four green circles with runic, arcane inscriptions immediately materialized around the room. "-_immediately._"

000ooo000000ooo000

"No Ranko, that is not a good idea. Get up Ranko, it's time for school. The food can wait until after you've saved the day, Ranko. Ranko, are you listening to me? Ranko, remember to do your homework-" Shogi yawned tiredly, feeling the urge to sleep and doing his best to resist it. He'd been outside the temple doing his own training with Kuroyo for the past four hours which was almost a day in dog years, but the raven had been unimpressed by his argument and insisted that he continue his assigned exercises. Apparently the Master's familiar didn't appreciate the fact that just because they were in the human world didn't mean they needed to keep human time too.

"Why do I have to sound so nagging?" the black and white puppy asked again to his instructor who was currently perched on top of one of the sculpted lions in front of the temple. "Won't it be harder for me to establish this 'mystical bond' of trust and friendship between magical girl and magical familiar you keep going on about if I'm constantly criticizing her?"

"A good point," Kuroyo conceded, looking down at the canine ninja with his sharp eyes, "but one that is easily answered. You see, there's something about being a magical girl that seems to encourage...how shall I put this kindly?..._impulsiveness_, and the inclination to act without forethought leads a good number of magical warriors of justice to becoming...well, complete and utter ditzes, my own partner being an excellent example." He sighed and, not for the first time, wondered if there was a connection between a soul's potential and a lack of common sense. "And, though it may be a thankless task, it is our job as magical familiars to try to keep our charges on point. Hence your current practice."

"But I'm not even a year old!" Shogi protested, conveniently forgetting his own earlier thoughts about preferring dog-time. "And isn't that what parents are for? Surely Ranko's parents are more responsible than an off-colored, talking ninja puppy!"

Somewhere far, far away, Genma sneezed.

Unaware of just how fundamentally wrong the familiar-in-training's claim was, the black bird performed the avian equivalent of a shrug. "Be that as it may, it is unlikely that Ranko's parents will be aware of the secret life she lives as a practitioner of Pretty Magical Girl Martial Arts. Thus it'll fall to you to be the voice of wisdom in her pursuit of the art, and when you combine the stubbornness of a martial artist with the denseness of a magical girl-" A long-suffering note entered his voice. "-let's just say that persistence is called for."

Shogi blinked and sat down on his hind legs in obvious perplexity. "Wait, I'm supposed to keep Ranko's parents in the dark about what I am and why I'm around?" A frown crossed his muzzle. "Isn't that a breach of their right to know what their daughter's up to, not to mention creating another unnecessary hardship in Ranko's life when the loving support of caring parents could do so much to help her through dark times and difficult trials?"

Kuroyo looked down at his charge pointedly. "If you transformed into a bombastic speech giving, short skirt wearing magical heroine, would you really want _your_ parents to know about it? Besides," he added, a little less sharply, "without parental involvement you don't need to worry about their consent when you decide it's time to teach your partner more powerful soul techniques."

"Huh? You not only want me to help keep Ranko's dangerous lifestyle a secret from her mother and father but also stay silent when I place their child through unsafe training that has a high risk of seriously injuring her?" the young canine asked, sounding appalled at the very suggestion. "What kind of guardian would do such a thing?"

Somewhere far, far away again, Genma's sneezing had turned into a hacking fit.

"What were you saying about not being responsible?" the raven asked coyly, deftly turning the tables on Shogi and watching in amusement as the canine realized the verbal trap he'd walked into. "With your obvious concern for your partner's well-being I'm confident you'll do a great job! And you'll do an even better job if you keep reciting the drills I taught you."

Shogi still didn't look entirely convinced. "I still think you're overestimating just how much I'll have to be on Ranko's case. I mean, she seems reasonably smart, so just how irresponsible could she possibly become?"

The vicious roar as four green comets fell from the sky and slammed through the temple with an ear-splitting boom answered the new magical familiar's question.

"Um...all right, well, back to training!" the puppy said when the earth finally stopped shaking, turning away from the martial arts temple that now had four smoking holes in its roof and focusing intently on his verbal exercises. For his part, Kuroyo sighed and shook his head in exasperation as he also turned away from the sight of his partner's newest mishap and returned to his own teaching duties. Leave it to the Master to almost destroy the place when he wasn't around to watch her.

"Honestly, this is almost worst than the time she tried to turn a student into a magical cat-girl. What type of idiot thinks it's a good idea to throw somebody into a pit filled with hungry cats anyway?"

Somewhere far, far away yet again, Genma nearly choked.

000ooo000000ooo000

The Master raised a hand to her forehead and gently began to massage her temples, her normally serene composure showing signs of having finally been ruffled. The room that used to exist where she stood was absolutely totaled, what little that hadn't been destroyed when the unholy comets slammed into the ground having been smashed by the golem-like infernals that rose up from the craters and immediately tried to crush Ranma-chan into paste. The magical girl in training, however, had been far too fast for them and led the demonic constructs on a merry little chase around the chamber instead, taking special care to make sure they trampled over the pink, furry chair not once, not even twice, but THREE times. The small room hadn't been anywhere near large enough for all of them to move around freely, but the infernals had fixed that problem by simply smashing through any wall unfortunate enough to be in their way and thus expanding their destructive march into more of the school's underground facilities. It was a small miracle that the floor above them hadn't collapsed on top of them yet.

Fortunately for her insurance rates, though, the green golems had returned to their own plane after several minutes, the dreadlord's summons having only enough power to hold them temporarily. Now Tichondrius himself was testing the talented redhead, trying with what was probably a little more effort than _trying_ warranted to catch his prey with punishing swipes of his clawed hands. Ranma-chan, on the other hand, was trying to avoid said swipes with what was certainly less effort than _trying_ implied and almost looked bored by the task, evading each of the demon's downward swings and thrusts with a casual ease that would have been infuriating had the nathrezim actually been _trying_, though one wouldn't know that from the scowl on his pale face.

"Enough!" she ordered, making a mental note to get good at playing Talim so she could utterly humiliate her Soul Calibur opponent the next time they played online. Tichondrius, hearing the displeased tone in his host's voice but not being the type to wholly submit to another, made one last irritated pass at Ranma-chan's swift form before falling back. A moment later, the young Saotome finally slowed and came to a stop a dozen feet from the demon, watching the creature suspiciously but not seeming winded in the slightest despite her energetic evasions. The Master's gaze traveled back and forth between the two of them and the destruction her training exercise had caused, but instead of anger her pink eyes shone with disappointment instead.

"Ranko...that was completely wrong." Ignoring Ranma-chan's incredulous expression, the unorthodox teacher approached her student and shook her head reprovingly. "You're so good at dodging that teaching you how to properly dodge might be harder than I anticipated."

"Are ya blind or something?" Ranma-chan shouted, offended at the belittling of her skills when none of the Infernals or Tichondrius' swipes had even come close to connecting with her. "Even in these stupid heels I still dodged the best your hired goons could throw at me! What more do you want?" she inquired sharply, waving her hands in frustration.

The Master stopped roughly three feet in front of Ranma-chan and looked down at the young martial artist pityingly, which did nothing to help the redhead's already frayed temper. "Tichondrius, you can go now," she said, keeping her pink eyes on her student. "I'm going to handle the rest of this exercise personally."

The powerful nathrezim grinned nastily. "Of course, and I'll be sure to pass on your regards to Darkness. I should remind you, though, of how terrible Darkness is when it comes to getting back to people. The Demon Hunter is _still_ waiting for that phone call."(1) He bowed again, mockingly. "This opportunity to terrorize all of you has been a pleasure. Should you have a need of my services again, feel free to contact me. I won't even charge you your _own_ souls." The baleful demon flapped his bat-like wings once behind him, the action somehow lifting his large frame a few feet off the ground. A second later another purple vortex appeared where he'd been standing, and he let himself fall through it, disappearing entirely in its arcane torrents which vanished a moment later themselves.

Unperturbed by the rift in reality that had just opened and closed behind her, the Master continued to gaze at Ranma-chan evenly, a frown on her graceful features. "Hm...well, I suppose there's no helping it. Ranko, for the purposes of this lesson I want you to try to hit me as hard and fast as you can."

The redhead automatically opened her mouth to protest, fed up with her teacher, but then her mind absorbed the meaning of the words and her objections changed into a vindictive smile instead. While she didn't normally hit girls, this _was_ a training exercise and who was she to disobey her sensei? "Are ya sure you want me to do that, Master?" she asked with false sweetness, eying her instructor with anticipation. "I wouldn't want to hurt you or anything."

"Don't worry about that," the silver-haired woman answered nonchalantly, stretching her arms above her head with the same indifference. "You won't make contact, but still do your best anyway. It'll strengthen the purpose of this little demonstration."

Won't make contact? Heh, the Master obviously didn't know who she was up against, Ranma-chan thought confidently, slowly raising her right fist in front of her to give her teacher ample time to see it before she struck. Might as well let her brace herself because even though she had no intention of going all out this would still smart a bit.

The Master, however, didn't appear concerned in the slightest, and the smallest trace of a haughty smile at her student's eagerness played across her face. "Whenever you're ready, Ranko. Don't hesitate on my account."

"Good, because I won't." Moving at a speed most humans would have trouble following, the young martial artist's right fist shot towards the female instructor. To Ranma-chan's surprise, though, in the split second she had to react her elder didn't even attempt to dodge. Instead, the Master maintained her self-assured stance and tracked the approaching fist with narrowed pink eyes. Only when the attack was less than a hair's breadth away from her shoulder did she at last move, taking a rapid step backward-

-and somehow tripping over her own kimono, clumsily falling backwards to land on her rear as the punch sailed over her. Ranma-chan gazed down at her coyly grinning teacher incredulously, shocked at the woman's ungainly landing, and then looked at her extended fist, even more amazed that it had missed such an easy target.

"Care to try again, Ranko? You can use your feet too if you like," the Master offered sportingly, sitting on the ground with her knees raised and head resting on them. If she was at all embarrassed by her own maladroitness, she showed no signs of it.

Ranma-chan narrowed her eyes, sensing that she was being made a fool of and not liking it in the least. She answered her teacher's challenge with a low sweeping kick that her target once again evaded at the last possible second by awkwardly rolling away. The young Saotome followed by using the momentum of her spin to flip over into a powerful double-kick. To her surprise, a violet glow traced the movement of her boots in the air, but when her shining heels made yet another gouge in the already badly abused ground her teacher was gone, having jumped backwards to land shakily on her feet. Spying what she thought was an opportunity, the redhead continued her assault with a hail of punches but the Master improbably stumbled out of reach every time one came close. Obviously, this called for a different approach.

"Kachū Tenshin Amaguriken!"

Hands blurring and displacing air as they shot forward silhouetted by the orange of her gloves, Ranma-chan was certain that at least one of the hundred plus punches she was throwing would make contact. Her target, however, had other ideas and somehow weaved in, around, and out of the rapid attack with appalling ungainliness, miraculously staying one narrow pace ahead of the flurry of fists and her pursuing student as she retreated with an embarrassing lack of coordination, teetering on the brink of falling flat on her face with every step.

That, more than anything else, infuriated Ranma-chan. She could accept somebody being quicker than her and knew from her battle against Ryouga that it was even possible to be so swift that her own attacks appeared slower than the last five minutes of the final class at school, but the Master's graceless evasions were humiliating to both of them. The older woman's movements were never truly fast until the very last possible moment, and then they were so clumsy that it defied all reason how her own attacks could miss except through sheer dumb luck. Fighting an opponent like this made her both feel and look foolish, and she'd already had more of that than she preferred thanks to her earlier transformation sequence.

"Had enough of this yet?" the Master inquired sweetly, smiling insufferably as she continued to unskillfully avoid every strike. Ranma-chan's response was a further narrowing of her currently prismatic eyes as she redoubled her efforts, but her determination remained in vain. No matter how rapid her kicks, how fast her punches, or how coordinated her combos, none of them matched the sheer ineptness of her teacher's dodging which existed on a level so low it transcended skill. Not even the classic back them against the wall trick worked as the Master ducked and staggered around her, giggling girlishly as she did so. The young martial artist felt her temper beginning to fray but clamped down on it quickly, knowing that if she lost her cool that she'd do even worse. There _had_ to be a method to her teacher's madness, and if she could just figure it out...

Ranma-chan's analytical mind went into overdrive even as she kept her relentless onslaught going, refusing to give her opponent a break as she reviewed every detail she knew of the battle thus far. The Master's speed didn't make sense to her but could easily be explained as the result of a ki or soul infusion technique, but if she was talented enough to perform something like that so effortlessly and with zero build up then why wait until the last possible moment to use it and why make herself look so clumsy? She wouldn't put it past her teacher to do this to deliberately annoy her, but then why keep up the same pattern for so long without any variation? Few things were more vexing than the clichéd "disappear and reappear behind the person faster than they can see" trick and the Master hadn't employed that one yet so maybe she had another reason, but what could it be? Even if her opponent was simply acting on reflex she'd expect better than this since reflexes were honed through years of training and even a child who was still learning to overcome his instincts could do-

"That's it!" Ranma-chan cried out smugly, insight striking her with slightly less force than one of Akane's mallets. She ceased her assault and stepped back, grinning arrogantly at her teacher. "I see through your trick now! You're ignoring your reflexes and relying on pure instinct, trusting your body to naturally tap into your soul power to give you the speed to dodge even if it makes you look ridiculous!" She brought her two hands together and cracked them ominously. "However, while this gives you a virtually perfect defense even against attacks you can't consciously follow, you can't switch to offense without resorting to conscious thought so you're stuck evading until your opponent gives up in disgust and gives you time to launch your own attack!" The satisfaction in the redhead's voice was unmistakable. "So...if I want to hit you all I have to do is wait for you to switch to the offensive and then attack myself!"

The Master smiled at her student's words. "Very perceptive of you, Ranko. You are _almost_ completely right." She laughed, but rather than coming across as mocking this time it sounded proud. "There are two details you're mistaken on. First, it's not my _instincts_ I'm listening to. Rather, it's my 'inner magical girl' that's guiding me. Learn to channel it unconsciously and you can avoid practically any attack that's not big enough to destroy the entire city. Secondly," she added, looking meaningfully at her student, "it's use is _not_ limited solely to _defense_."

For once, Ranma-chan's grin matched the Master's own. "So what you're saying is that if I learn how to 'listen' to my soul's instincts I'll be able to defend against _and_ attack a vastly faster opponent?" The redhead pictured dodging the Lost Boy's supersonic strikes with the same humiliating clumsiness that the Master had dodged hers with and chuckled vindictively. Oh, _that_ would certainly get Ryouga in a bad mood. And if she could assault him at the same time too..."All right," she said with uncharacteristic agreeableness, "you've got me interested now. What do I do?"

"For starters," the Master answered in a coy voice, taking a step towards Ranma-chan, "you try to avoid my punches until you succeed."

"Eh," Ranma-chan replied dismissively, "that doesn't sound so hard-"

**Ka-BLAM!**

**THUD!**

"You were saying?" the older woman asked sweetly, a smile that was anything but on her face as she watched her student struggle to climb out of the wall she'd crashed through. Chuckling softly, she added, "Let that be a lesson to you not to underestimate your opponent just because they qualify as a senior citizen!"

Finally getting back to her feet, Ranma-chan looked at the Master oddly. "You...a senior? Heh, compared to some -cough- of the people I know, you...eh, you look downright young. You can't be what, more than a century old?"

**Ka-BLAM!**

**THUD!**

The Master wagged her right index finger remonstratingly. "Tsk. Tsk. Don't you know it's rude to ask a woman what her age is?" She tapped the reproving finger against her chin thoughtfully as the redhead painfully climbed out of the same wall again. "Then again, tactlessness is a common trait for magical girls so maybe I should encourage it in you? Something to contemplate, anyway, but for now back to your training!"

**Ka-BLAM!**

**THUD!**

_Rumble._

"Hmm..." Not liking that last sound, the female martial arts instructor looked up at the damaged and presumably highly unstable ceiling and, taking more time than such an obvious conclusion warranted, decided that it _might not_ be the best of ideas to cause further weakness in its structural stability by punching her student through the few walls that were still standing. "You know, it's a lovely day so how about we take this training lesson outside, Ranko? Besides, considering you haven't seen the sun in a couple days some natural light would probably be good for you!"

Not fooled by her teacher's apparent concern for her well-being, Ranma-chan blearily rose to her feet again and dusted off some of the scraps of wall that still clung to her outfit. "Might as -cough- well," the redhead said testily. "Looks like you're running out of things to...ungh...knock me through down here anyway."

**Ka-BLAM!**

**THUD!**

"Not quite yet," the Master replied, giggling, "but sometimes it's conceivable that it might maybe just possibly be better to be safe than sorry...occasionally. And just think of the fun the two of us can have outside!" Somehow, she managed to say her next words without the tiniest hint of facetiousness. "Why, I doubt there are any two people in the whole world who'll have a better time than us!"

000ooo000000ooo000

"My, it certainly is a lovely afternoon, isn't it?" Kasumi asked cheerfully, looking around at the park she was currently strolling through with a content smile. Beside her, Jadeite nodded his head in assent, agreeing on a purely analytical level. The sun was out and shining but not too brightly, it was warm without being hot, the trees around them were full of leaves, and there were only a few other people scattered about them. By conventional human standards this was certainly a pleasant environment, although that mattered very little to the blond mystic since he'd be equally and maybe even more comfortable in a barren wasteland. He cared little for these reminders of life that would soon be terminated in part by his own hand and was only here to continue his research of the Tendo woman. He had a theory now, and he just needed to find an opportune time to test it...

"That it is, but I'm afraid that scenes like this all blend together for me," Jadeite answered with a wan smile, having decided that a mixture of truth and falsehood was the best approach to take with Kasumi. "I've been to hundreds of parks-" More like millions by now. "-and it's rare for there to be anything truly distinctive about them, especially when all they usually have to offer is a diluted representation of nature tamed by men. You might as well build a machine for people to marvel at."

His traveling companion chuckled forgivingly at his dour comment. "I think you're missing the point of visiting a place like this, Jadeite," the serene brunette informed him, continuing to walk forward along the path the two of them were following. "For those of us who spend all day surrounded by the hustle-bustle of the city, this is a getaway where we can go for moments of peace and quiet and be reminded of the beauty of nature, even if it's only a reflection of what can be found in the wild. It's a place where people can relax, and surely you have a spot like that somewhere too."

Keeping pace with Kasumi, the former general slowly shook his head. "Not especially," he confessed, simultaneously pleased by the sympathy he felt coming from Kasumi at this admission and slightly unnerved at the truth of his own words. Asking his master for a vacation was of course a ridiculous idea, but when was the last occasion he'd actually taken time to relax? "Back when I was in the military duty was everything, and if I wasn't performing a mission I was planning the next one." Or dealing with the machinations of his fellow generals, especially that tempestuous Zoisite, but she didn't need to know that. "Now...old habits die hard I guess, and the only peace I find is in sleep." Another half truth since slumber was optional for him and extinguishing his active consciousness was not a concept he found appealing, but, again, those were details she did not need to know.

Had it been anyone else Jadeite might have been surprised at how his companion immediately reached for his hand to give it a compassionate squeeze, but by now he was used to Kasumi's instinctively empathic reactions. "I'm sorry to hear that," the tranquil Tendo said with believed understanding in her voice although Jadeite knew that whatever she thought about him had to be far from the truth. "Still...you need to let yourself relax and forget the troubles of the past sometimes, Jadeite. There's no point in living if you never take the time to enjoy it."

The solemn illusionist felt the distant urge to laugh at the woman's naive words. There was _always_ a point in living if it meant you weren't dead. Death was an endless eternity that was no different than the oblivion his master desired so strongly to bring to the cosmos, and even if his sole purpose in existing was to survive it was still a purpose and still better than nothing. "There's always a reason to live, Kasumi, whether you enjoy life or not," Jadeite said after a long moment, tone somber and with an element of manufactured pain that he knew his companion would pick up on. He tightened his grip on their joined hands in a feigned gesture of seeking reassurance, his real intent being to get closer to her aura. When he made the decision to act, he wanted to move quickly.

As the general expected, Kasumi didn't try to extricate her hand from his grasp. A brief flicker of surprise did wash across her features at his action, but that was only natural since in the time they'd known each other it was rare for him to maintain or, for that matter, seek any intimate contact. Certainly she didn't appear to mind his reciprocation and even seemed to relax more beside him, though by unspoken communication they were both walking slower now. "Jadeite," Kasumi said at last, voice more comforting than chicken soup and a warm blanket on a cold day, "I don't know what you've seen in the military or during your travels, but if there's ever anything you want to share or something that's troubling you, you can tell me. Don't hide anything because you think it might bother me. I'm your friend, and I will be there for you and listen if you want me to. That's a promise."

The illusionist did a quick magical scan to verify that there was no one else nearby and, finding that there was not, stopped. "That's...very generous of you," he answered slowly, turning to face her and raising his free hand to place it on her right shoulder. Again, there was a flash of surprise on her features at the touch but she neither protested nor pulled away. "You're a rare soul to be so kind to a stranger you met barely a week ago, Kasumi, and your friendship means a lot to me." Jadeite paused for a moment, deliberately giving the outward impression of searching for words to describe his inner thoughts. "More than a lot, truth be told. You've made these past couple days actually worth remembering, and that's a miracle in and of itself. Kasumi...I..."

Jadeite sighed heavily and gazed down at the woman beside him, his crystal blue eyes boring into her soft brown ones. Although his purpose in maintaining such intense eye contact was merely to analyze her life-force in preparation for what he planned to do next, he couldn't help but notice the growing curiosity in the brunette's eyes and the sudden coloring of her cheeks. Had anyone ever looked at her like this before, the general wondered idly, watching her as if she was the center of the universe and the most fascinating object under the sun, as if she was the only other person in all of existence? Had anyone ever treated her as the beautiful woman she was instead of the big sister and surrogate mother she acted like?

"There's something very important I want to tell you, Kasumi," Jadeite said gently, instilling uncharacteristic warmth and affection into his tone. He could sense the brunette's heartbeat quicken and see the signs of uncertainty on her pretty face, and for the first time since he'd met her the blue-eyed mystic felt totally in control. She didn't know what to do or what to say, unsure if he was about to open up to her as a friend or irrevocably cross that hazy line and enter new territory completely unknown to her, perhaps even unsure which one she would prefer herself. He savored the sensation of power and dominance over her, this one woman somehow overcoming a millennium's worth of acquired apathy to remind him of the rush he'd once experienced regularly in Queen Beryl's army toying with the emotions of humans and youma alike. He noted the inviting curve of her lips and her breathlessness, her utter powerlessness to look away though no magic held her in place, and for the briefest of moments entertained the thought of following this through to its natural conclusion. It was an idea that was almost tempting.

But only almost, and Jadeite was not the type of man who placed value on meaningless sentimental diversions. There was a reason why he'd brought Kasumi to this secluded park and manipulated her into this position of vulnerability, and the time to act on it was now. With only a gentle smile offered in way of apology, the general seized his transfixed companion's life-force with his magic and _pulled_.

The effect was nearly instantaneous. Kasumi's expectant eyes glazed over and closed and, a half-formed 'Oh my' on her lips, she collapsed against his chest in a magically induced sleep. With a carefulness that could easily be mistaken for tenderness, Jadeite held her tight and supported her exhausted frame, an unreadable expression on his face as he continued to watch her with his crystal blue orbs. Her life energy, invisible to all but him, swirled around them both.

"So, it is as I thought. You're merely human after all," Jadeite said after a long moment, a hint of disappointment in his otherwise cold and controlled voice that was completely devoid of the affection he'd exhibited just a few minutes ago. A small part of him had hoped- no, simply _considered_ the possibility that Kasumi was something more, something unique, but she was only rare in that she had a pure heart and a serene aura untainted by vices such as envy and greed that his minor black magic enchantments utilized to spike and then absorb a person's life energy. She was as vulnerable as any other mortal if he chose to drain her energy directly.

The ageless illusionist sighed again and contemplated what to do next. This mystery was solved, and while Kasumi's aura was an interesting phenomenon in itself it was of no further value to him, not if it couldn't protect her from his magic. She was as doomed as the rest of this world, and now that he knew why his spells hadn't worked on her before he should abandon her and leave her to her unfortunate fate. Continuing this association was pointless. There was nothing that she could do for him, and there was nothing that he could do for her.

And yet...

The general could feel the warmth of Kasumi's body against his own, hear her gentle breathing, reach out and touch her intoxicatingly pure life-force, and see the beauty of her innocent soul. She was only human, but she _was_ different in her own way and he hadn't been lying when he'd told her that she had made these past couple days distinctive in his memory. There was something about her company that piqued his world weariness, and while the mystic considered himself a master of human psychology he had never met someone quite like Kasumi and still had difficulty understanding her and predicting her thoughts and actions. Perhaps for his own studies on humanity he should maintain this false friendship? After all, it wasn't as if it would hinder his mission, and while he placed no value on sentimentality he did cherish knowledge. And it would break up the monotony of his operations...

That last thought sealed his decision. Jadeite was many things, most of them negative, but his pride was such that he refused to think of himself as a mere automaton. A pawn, perhaps, in his master's grand scheme, but he had the freedom to choose how he moved across her cosmic chessboard and only a mindless automaton would make the same moves along the same path in the same cycle endlessly. Besides, familiarity bred carelessness, and carelessness often led to humiliating defeats accompanied by incredulous exclamations of the painfully clichéd variety. Having been done in once by three slowly moving _airplanes_ of all things, Jadeite had no desire to go through a similarly embarrassing experience again.

Narrowing his eyes, the mystic concentrated and released his grip on Kasumi's life-force. Slowly, the invisible tendrils of energy sank back into her delicate frame, restoring her vitality though the sheer process of having been drained would leave her feeling weak for hours. Still hugging her to his chest, Jadeite looked down at her and, affecting a concerned air, waited. It would only be a few minutes before his patience paid off.

"O...oh my," Kasumi muttered groggily, slowly coming to. "Wha-what happened?" Suddenly realizing that she was being held rather close, her face went scarlet. "Mister Jadeite? What's going on?" Her mind replayed the last few moments it remembered, and her flush was replaced by embarrassment. "Oh my, I'm so sorry about passing out. I don't know what came over me-"

"There's no need to apologize," Jadeite said reassuringly, smiling faintly. "I'm just happy that you're all right. Would you like to sit down for a bit? You look like you could use some rest." Not waiting for an answer, he raised his left arm and pointed at a nearby bench. "Come, I'll walk you over."

The eldest Tendo daughter looked like she was going to protest his seemingly kind offer, probably out of a misplaced sense of being an imposition, but another wave of exhaustion struck her and she quietly nodded her head instead. Leaning against him for support, Kasumi let Jadeite guide her across the several yards that separated them from the wooden park bench, a puzzled expression on her features as she pondered her fainting spell and subsequent fatigue. There was another matter that tugged at her mind too, but this one was much easier to resolve. "Jadeite..." she said slowly as the general helped her sit down, "there was – un – something important you wanted to tell me?"

The blue-eyed mystic paused for a moment, considering possible responses. "It can wait," he said finally, letting his gaze drop. "What's important _now_ is making sure you're okay. Have you ever fainted like this before? And have you been getting enough sleep lately? What is-"

Jadeite continued to pepper Kasumi with questions, deliberately keeping her distracted and distant from what he had supposedly been about to confide to her. Better to have her think about it later, after time had worked its own magic and planted even more doubts and uncertainty in her mind about the moment and what he might have wanted to say and do. It could be interesting to see whether the normally serene brunette decided to act as if nothing had happened or if she pushed forward past the status quo.

Feeling his old sadistic pleasure in calculation and manipulation return as he contemplated his options, a nearly genuine smile formed on the dark-hearted general's face. "You know, Kasumi, I think that maybe you've just been working too hard," he remarked, stopping his inquiries and inspection as he took a seat beside her on the bench. "But since that goes for both of us and there's no point in working myself to the point of exhaustion..."

"...I think I will take some time to enjoy life after all."

000ooo000000ooo000

Night had fallen, covering the School of Pretty Magical Girl Martial Arts in its dark cloak and a tangible chill. The paper lanterns that had earlier been unlit now cast their small, sputtering lights into the blackness, providing just enough illumination for sharp eyes to see by. The two stone lions that guarded the entrance to the temple were as unchanged and silent as before, but in front of them stood two other figures for whom the same could not be said. On the left, Ranma-chan's restless form shifted slightly as she watched her teacher carefully, night itself unable to hide the pride and confidence in her normally blue but currently multi-colored eyes. The transformed martial artist had been through much since first setting foot inside the school just a few short days ago, her new colorful and mostly skintight outfit that nearly glowed in the dark a sign of her experiences. On the right, the Master studied her student with the same eagerness she had displayed at their first meeting but with unmasked satisfaction as well, clearly pleased by her pupil's rapid progress. And, of course, Ranma being Ranma and the Master being the Master, neither one was anywhere near being quiet.

"Would you hurry up and start the next lesson already? We've been standing here facing each other for over fifteen minutes, and this skirt doesn't do a thing for the cold!" Ranma-chan demanded irritably, her earlier agreeableness having faded quickly after being treated as glorified punching bag by her teacher. Fortunately the bruises had vanished even faster than normal, a possible side-effect of her transformed state the redhead suspected, and by the end of it she had learned how to listen to her soul's instincts and was dodging about as effectively and gracelessly as the Master. The ordeal had once again soured her opinion of the School's training methods, though, and as was becoming increasingly typical for the redhead she felt the overwhelming desire to complain which, she also suspected, might be another side-effect of this whole magical girl martial arts style since a lot of the protagonists in those manga Akane denied owning seemed to whine almost nonstop about anything and everything.

The Master raised a finger and opened her mouth to playfully scold her student for her lack of patience but, remembering her own days of fighting in short skirts, decided that the redhead had a valid point. "All right, Ranko," she said instead with a slight nod of her head and expectant smile on her face, "I think we can skip the rest of the dramatic pause exercise and move straight onto the next subject. I'm going to teach you how to release the power of your soul in a projectile attack, but before we start let me ask you a question. Do you know how ki blasts work?"

Ranma-chan's arrogant smirk was virtually impossible to miss. "Heh, I know more than _how_ they work, I've created and mastered one myself. Care for me to demonstrate?"

"Please do." The woman's pink eyes narrowed as she faced her student. "And use me as the target this time too. I trust I don't need to assure you again that I'll be fine?"

The young martial artist gritted her teeth at her teacher's haughty tone but knew that she was probably correct. As inefficient and ridiculous as most of what she'd taught her so far was, Ranma-chan couldn't argue its effectiveness and if the Master couldn't handle one of her ki attacks then she might as well quit because she certainly wouldn't be able to help her against any of Ryouga's. Still, despite everything, as she stoked her confidence and gathered her ki she couldn't help but feel good about her chances of at least surprising the older woman with her power. She was Saotome Ranma, the best martial artist of her generation, and she was certain that the Master had never had a student like her before.

"Mōko Takabisha!" Ranma-chan shouted, throwing her arms in front of her and watching with pleasure as the familiar crimson ball of ki erupted from her hands and soared through the air towards her target...at least until the aforementioned target's right arm shot forward and froze the ki blast in mid-air a few inches from the front of her hand.

"Impressive," the Master commented after a few seconds of intently studying the ki attack with her eyes, the rare compliment not doing anything to assuage Ranma-chan's pride. She'd been hoping that the blast would at least _connect_. "I haven't seen such a purely emotion based ki attack in quite a while, and one centered on confidence to boot? Interesting. Your self esteem is such that we can probably skip the entire chapter on not giving up in the face of overwhelming odds or, equally important for a magical girl, when your love interest appears to be interested in somebody else." The woman's lips quirked up slightly at her student's immediate gag reflex. "Regardless, I trust you recognize the two limitations of your attack?"

"Yeah yeah," the redhead answered disinterestedly. "The Mōko Takabisha is limited by the size of my own ki and my confidence level. I figured that out long ago. Why do ya ask?"

The school's master grinned and snapped the fingers of her right hand. The Mōko Takabisha hovering in front of it immediately fizzled out of existence harmlessly. "I want to make sure that when I say that soul attacks suffer different constraints that you understand what I mean." She lowered her arm and clasped her hands together in front of her chest. "I've already told you that the power of a soul is nearly infinite, but, unlike ki where the difficulty lies in generating power, with the soul the challenge is channeling such unfathomable might. Only when one's heart and mind act as one and the desire is great can the soul's true potential be realized."

"However," the Master continued, clearly pleased as she nodded at Ranma-chan, "just as you've learned how to tap a fraction of your soul's 'magic' through incantations and motions, you can also harness and release it through similar methods. And if you continue to pursue the art beyond these basics a day will come when you transcend the need for such formulaic techniques and become able to call upon your soul's full strength as easily and naturally as you breathe. That day is not _today_, though, so for now I just want you to show me what you've got."

Ranma-chan waited expectantly, assuming that her teacher would elaborate. When a minute passed with no further words from the silver haired woman, though, she sighed and rolled her eyes. And she'd used to think that Cologne was cryptic! "All right all right," the redhead spoke irritably, "I understand the explanation you just gave me, but what's the next step? I can't do much 'till ya teach me the incantations and motions for these soul attacks."

Once again, the Master displayed her nearly perennial grin. "I've already told you everything you need to know, Ranko. I leave it up to you to figure it out."

The younger martial artist scowled but reviewed what her teacher had said anyway. Her sharp mind quickly pieced together an answer but, not liking it, she went through the words again in search of a different option. It was a futile effort, though, and she groaned unhappily. "So basically you want me to spout nonsense and cavort about ridiculously until I find some combination of the two through sheer luck that miraculously releases my soul's power?" Her prismatic eyes narrowed dangerously. "Why is it that almost all of your so-called lessons force me to act like a fool?"

"Trust me, it's all part of your training and serves a greater purpose," the Master answered in a voice resonant with inner wisdom that Ranma-chan didn't buy for an instant. "However, since this is the _advanced_ training regimen, I'll give you some advice." She closed her eyes for a moment and continued to smile serenely. When she opened them again her pink eyes literally sparkled. "Don't just act until you stumble across the solution by chance. Listen to your inner magical girl and let your soul guide you along the path to unlocking its secret power."

"Uh uh," Ranma-chan replied, still unhappy and wondering if her teacher was somehow secreting glitter. Knowing that she wasn't going to get any additional answers from the older woman, though, she sighed again and closed her own eyes, trying to call upon the same instincts that had let her evade the Master's lightning fast strikes earlier in the day. Nothing was forthcoming immediately, but having no desire to stand outside all night hoping to get lucky Ranma-chan began to flex and move her body in a variety of over the top acrobatics and thought back to the manga she'd skimmed through before coming here. Most magical girls seemed to have attacks relating to their own names, and since hers was Razzle Dazzle –_click_– Ranko and she was thematically associated with rainbows –_click_– maybe...hm, she'd definitely felt something there with that train of thought.

So, Razzle Dazzle Rainbow –_**click**_– something or other, but what? She'd already felt a few lesser clicks from her rapid movements and was pretty certain that spinning was the key there, but that did her no good until she figured out the invocation. Alliteration had served her well so far so she'd stick with the 'r's and it definitely sounded like there should be an attack word next, but what could it be? Razzle Dazzle Rainbow Roar? Rainbow Raid? Eh, nothing with those two so maybe another approach was called for? Rainbows were made of light, so what used light as a weapon normally? There were laser rays-

_**Click!**_

The young martial artist didn't even bother to hide the smug smirk that spread across her face as everything tumbled into place for her with breathtaking clarity. Damn she was good! And, she thought with more than a trace of vindictiveness, it was time to show the 'Master' just how good she truly was.

Shooting her teacher a confident smile, Ranma-chan placed her left leg in front of her and raised her left hand high above her head, her right arm simultaneously shooting out to her side. Across the gap of several feet that separated them, the Master's pink eyes widened slightly in surprise. It had barely been five minutes since she'd imparted her piece of advice. Surely Ranko hadn't already-

"Razzle...Dazzle..." The magical girl in training raised her left knee up to her waist level and fell back on her right foot, getting ready to launch into a pirouette. At the same time, a violet silhouette enveloped her right hand.

"Rainbow..." The redhead performed several consecutive twirls in a second that felt far longer, her right hand tracing a differently colored and sparkling circle in the air with each spin. The violet ring was first and dropped down to just above her waist, an indigo hoop following next and stopping a few inches above its predecessor. Then blue, green, yellow, orange, and finally red, every ring evenly distributed with the last circling around her bosom.

"Ray!" the young martial artist shouted, spinning coming to an abrupt halt as she placed both legs firmly on the ground again and brought her left arm down in a lightning fast karate chop that sliced through all seven rings. The colored hoops exploded in a nearly blinding flash of light, but even that paled beside the glory of the dazzling two foot tall rainbow beam that erupted in front of Ranma-chan and surged inexorably, unstoppably forward with the force and fury of an awakened god.

"Eep," the Master remarked lamely, mouth agape as she watched her student's remarkably powerful and very first soul attack soar towards her with more precision than a bat out of hell...which, she thought idly, probably wasn't saying a whole lot since if she was a bat flying out of hell she'd be much more intent on getting away from what was behind her rather than pay attention to what lay ahead, but that was neither here nor now. She only had a second in which to act, and she'd already spent three tenths of it off topic!

Faster than the eye could blink, the teacher's hands shot in front of her chest with thumb touching thumb and index finger touching index figure to create the outline of a small triangle. Immediately, the golden glow of her soul manifested itself in the empty area of the shape, and the Master quickly dropped her hands to her sides, arms angled at 60 degree angles, stretching and expanding the golden triangle that was in no way, shape, or form associated with the Tri-Force into a three-pointed shield. A fraction of a second smaller than Kodachi's chances of winning Ranma's heart without chemical assistance later, Ranma-chan's Rainbow Ray slammed into her teacher's hastily summoned defensive barrier with earth-shattering force. Multi-colored sparks flew as the two soul manifestations clashed and ground against each other with the sheer power of the redhead's attack pushing the Master back more than three feet, but the silver haired woman's shield held and, after a minute that also seemed far longer than it truly was thanks to the liberal application of time extension, the Rainbow Ray exhausted itself and dissipated into a shower of sparkles. A second later the golden triangular shield vanished, and the Master released the breath she'd been holding.

"You know, Ranko, I might have to amend what I said the other day," the school's matron commented slowly, eying her heavily breathing student with newfound interest. "You might not just be the most promising student I've had in decades; you might be the most promising student I've _ever_ had."

The exhausted Ranma-chan grinned fiercely and proudly, pleased to have finally rattled her teacher slightly and, for the first time since entering the school, truly optimistic that this utterly ridiculous martial art might actually give her the means to defeat the Lost Boy. She opened her mouth to make a confident retort, but her body, having gone days without proper sleep and now thoroughly drained from the hardship of releasing so much energy, had other plans. Unconsciousness claimed the redhead before she could say anything, and she fell to the ground, completely worn out. A second later her magical girl outfit faded away, replaced by the school girl uniform she'd first arrived in. The rainbow crest on her forehead disappeared as well, followed by her red hair retracting to its natural length.

Walking at a leisurely pace, the Master approached her collapsed student and, looking at her fondly, sat down beside her on the pebble covered ground. "Clearly we're going to have to work on your stamina a bit, Ranko, but all things considered you've even surprised me with how much progress you've made in a single day. Heh, I guess it just goes to show what a brilliant teacher I am, right?" The older woman chuckled softly to herself and looked up at the night sky. "Anyway, at this rate you should finish your training by the end of the week and be ready for the showdown with your 'rival'. And that'll be when your true challenge begins."

Silence and Ranma-chan's snoring were the only responses the Master received, but that was not why she suddenly frowned unhappily. "That was not _nearly_ dramatic enough," she muttered self-recriminatingly, deciding to try again.

"Ranko," the older woman spoke solemnly, gazing down at her slumbering student with a conjured air of seriousness. "You have made me tremendously proud and might even complete your training by week's end. Then there will be nothing more for me to teach you and you will have to figure out the rest on your own, but I believe in your potential and ability to do so. But do not think that your hardships will end once you leave this school, for the showdown with your rival lies ahead. Only when one's heart and mind work as one can the full power of the soul be unlocked, but against this boy of whom you've said so much I fear that confusion and uncertainty will interfere. This, then, will be your final test to see whether you can master Pretty Magical Girl Martial Arts. Go, face this Ryouga, overcome your doubts and do what you feel is right..."

"..._and that will be when your true challenge begins_."

Again, there was silence and more snoring, but this time the pink eyed teacher grinned. "Now that's more like it!"

000ooo000000ooo000

Elsewhere that night in a familiar vacant lot that might be deliberately kept vacant by the Tokyo metropolitan government in a well-intended but ineffective effort to decrease the property damage caused by Nerima's disproportionately high number of martial artists by giving them an empty space to meet up and go at each other, Ryouga sat on top of his massive backpack and watched Akane appraisingly. For once he wasn't awestruck by the beauty of the woman who stood several feet in front of him, mesmerized by her kindness, or tongue-tied by his own nervousness. Instead, he observed her as a teacher observes a student, intently judging every action, watching for mistakes, and looking for areas of improvement to see how well she understood the lesson he was attempting to teach her. The Lost Boy was also keeping a cautious eye on her for her own safety, for although the martial arts technique she was learning wasn't normally dangerous there were risks for those who weren't experienced at ki manipulation and conserving energy.

"That's it, Akane! Keep concentrating, summon your ki around you and internalize it, and then create a constant stream below you!" Ryouga instructed, studying the youngest Tendo's life energy with his mind's eye to verify that she was following his directions correctly. Sure enough, even though her ki was minuscule compared to many of the warriors he knew and wasn't even visible at the moment, the Eternal Wanderer could sense her aura expand and stabilize just as he'd shown her in the drills he'd run her through. Now all she needed to do was project her ki with enough force to propel her into the air, but this was also the hardest step because of the possibility of using either an unsustainable amount of energy or releasing so much ki at once that one lost control of one's flight.

For her part, Akane kept her eyes closed and nodded once as she focused intently, enjoying the unfamiliar sensation of her battle aura responding to mental discipline instead of passion. It had taken days of Ryouga's patient guidance before she'd been able to consciously summon and control her ki, and even now it still required massive effort on her part to maintain. She wasn't the type to quit, though, and the thought of becoming a better martial artist and finally being able to do something that Ukyo, Shampoo, and not even Ranma could drove her on. This was her chance to prove herself, and, carefully and with great concentration, she wrapped her aura about her and channeled it downward. Her first instinct was to impatiently release it all in a powerful burst, but Ryouga had repeatedly warned her against doing that and insisted that she take it slow, gradually releasing more and more ki below her until she found the necessary amount to lift her off the ground. Use more than that and, according to the Lost Boy, she could launch herself straight up and then loose consciousness in mid-air from exhaustion. So she took it slowly, and within a few minutes her restraint was rewarded as she felt herself gently rise and float free of the earth.

"Congratulations, Akane, you've done it," Ryouga said, smiling brilliantly and with unmistakable joy over her success in his voice. Hearing those words, the youngest Tendo opened her brown eyes and looked down, laughing in amazement and delight at the few inches separating her feet from the vacant lot. She'd...she'd actually done it! She'd learned a new martial arts technique that not even Ranma knew and she...she was _flying_! This was amazing! This was incredible! This was beyond wonderful, and she...she was still going up?

Remembering what her friend had told her, Akane closed her eyes again and increased her concentration to create a simultaneous flow of upward ki to counter her rising trajectory. It was difficult for her and she gritted her teeth at the effort, but after a moment's time the young woman stopped ascending and hovered in mid-air, now more than two feet above the ground. Then she opened her eyes again and let out a deep breath, wobbling a bit but managing to retain her equilibrium. This was obviously going to take a lot of getting used to and it would probably be a long time before she was anywhere near good at this, but at the moment she could have cared less about that. The sensation of her ki around her...the feeling of floating in mid-air...the knowledge that she was as free as a bird...it was nearly intoxicating, and if so much of her focus hadn't been on controlling her aura to levitate she would be shouting from joy. This...this was a dream come true!

"Careful, Akane," Ryouga warned, concern in his eyes as he rose and walked over to her. "You're still emitting too much ki. If you don't tighten up your aura you'll only stay afloat for a few minutes at the most. Remember, this isn't a test of power; it's about efficiency."

"I'm confident that –huff– if I do fall that you'll catch me," the brown eyed young girl said cheerfully but with an undeniable hint of fatigue in her voice. Ryouga blushed at her words and lowered his head bashfully, trying to think of a charming reply but instead stuttering quietly. As usual, Akane was completely oblivious to her companion's sudden loss of composure and beamed at him graciously, increasing his embarrassment. "Thank you so much, Ryouga. I can't begin tell you what this means to me."

The Lost Boy felt like he was on Cloud Nine with Akane looking at him like that with such gratitude in her voice. "Think, ehe, nothing of it, Akane. I'm, heh, glad to be of help!" He started twiddling his thumbs nervously. "T-t-trust me, you're d-d-doing great! Much better th-than me when I first learned!"

Had Ryouga been physically able, he was certain that he would have melted at the beautiful smile Akane gave him. She was such an angel, and her purity filled him with guilt over his own ulterior motives in teaching her this technique. He did want to help her become a better martial artist, but he also wanted to spend time with her and finally carve a place for himself in her heart. It...it was shameful what he was doing, but now that he had come this far it would be silly to turn back. All he needed to do was gather his nerve and ask her out to dinner tomorrow-

Akane chuckled and lowered herself to the ground in front of him. Then, much to the wandering Hibiki's surprise and absolute delight, the girl of his dreams wrapped her arms around him in a heartwarming hug! "Thanks again, Ryouga. It's nice to have someone actually _encourage_ me for a change."

"I...I..." Ryouga's higher brain functions dissolved in the ebullient warmth that enveloped his mind, but somehow he still managed to form words. "A-Akane, to...tomorrow-"

"I hope we can be friends forever, Ryouga!"

"..."

Everybody with even the slightest hint of psionic ability within a five mile radius winced painfully at the force of the Lost Boy's next thoughts.

_Dang it!_

* * *

Author's Notes:

(1) Darkness will exert every possible effort to recruit a new follower, but once you've crossed the point of no return and Darkness knows it has you then you're lucky if you're given the time of day. After all, what are you going to do, repent? Ha!

Anyway, again, my apologies for the long delay in updating this story. My computer crashed a while ago and, although I was fortunately able to retrieve my files, it was roughly a month before I acquired a new laptop. After that I decided to work on a different writing project for a while, but four months is a long time even with those excuses and I will try to do better with the next update.

And speaking of the next update, this fan fic is over halfway done. Unless my outline changes drastically, the rest of the story only calls for the second half of this chapter, one more full chapter after that, and an epilogue. I think I can honestly say that I've saved the best for last, so I hope that the rest of the tale lives up to expectations. The readers have my thanks for all of the support and advice they've given me so far.

As for Akane learning how to fly, I based this on my memories of how quickly Gohan was able to teach Videl the technique. I don't want to do a stat-by-stat comparison of the two, but I'm fairly certain that if Videl could be taught how to fly in a day or two Akane could as well. If my recollection of that Dragonball Z episode is inaccurate, feel free to tell me so.

At any rate, thanks for reading and good-bye for now. I hope you enjoyed this chapter.

Addendum: Tichondrius is a character from the computer game Warcraft III, by the way.


	4. Chapter 4 Part 1

Title: Magical Girl Ranko vs. Z-Fighter Ryouga

Author: Rowan Seven

Teaser: Ranma and Ryouga's epic duel begins as Jadeite's master brings her dark schemes to fruition. Can the world survive either of these developments?

Disclaimer: Ranma 1/2, Dragonball Z, Sailor Moon, Looney Tunes, and any other series I mention belong to their respective creators and copyright holders, as do the characters and settings in this story that don't belong to me. I make no claims to any of them and am making no financial profit from writing this story.

Author's Notes: Marked with (#) and posted at the end.

* * *

Chapter 4 Part 1 – Originally Supposed to be Chapter 3 Part 2 but Plans Have Changed!

"Nine days," the Master of the School of Pretty Magical Girl Martial Arts spoke appraisingly, standing behind the wooden gateway that demarcated the holy grounds of her temple from the outside world and looking remarkably unchanged from the first time Ranma-chan had seen her. Wearing either an identical or the same simple gray kimono with a white sash and with Kuroyo once again perched on her right shoulder, the only noticeable difference between her now and their introductory meeting was in the elder woman's pink eyes. Whereas before they'd been filled with amused interest and taunting mirth, now a glimmer of respect danced in those bright orbs. "A little more than the week you boasted, but still much less time than I expected."

On the other side of the traditional torii and with a cheerful Shogi sitting on the ground beside her, Ranma-chan grinned cockily. "Heh, not surprising considering I am the best. I could've completed your training in even less time too had you not insisted I practice something as _useless_ as screeching for hours on end."

The Master smiled coyly and raised her right index finger. "There's a perfect pitch for every occasion, Ranko. Remember that for it'll serve you well...occasionally." Not bothering to hide her good mood, the powerful woman clasped her two hands together in an enthusiastic clap. "Regardless, you have proved yourself worthy of carrying the name of this school with you as you head out back into the world. Any doubts I might have had faded this morning when you passed your final test and polished off that breakfast feast faster than a Google search! Truly an appetite worthy of a magical girl..."

The blue-eyed redhead prudently did not mention that was how she normally ate. "Eheh, well, now that you've said that am I free to go now? I have a date with destiny back in Nerima, and with the training I've received here I'm confident of what the outcome will be." Her lips curled upwards in a vindictive smirk as she said this, clearly anticipating a victory.

"I'm sure destiny isn't the _only_ thing you have a date with," the silver haired woman said slyly, unable to pass up such a perfect opportunity for innuendo, "but the answer to your question is yes. While I haven't taught you everything _I_ know, I've taught you enough for you to learn how to master the power of your soul and you will certainly figure out the rest in time."

"Often in the very nick of time," Kuroyo chimed in sarcastically, looking down at his canine apprentice somberly. "Ranko is in your ha-er, your paws now, Shogi. Support her in times of hardship, be there even when she doesn't want you to be there, and persist in being the voice of common sense no matter how harebrained she might act, and you will make a great magical familiar."

"Understood, Kuroyo! Even if my partner becomes a total airhead I won't give up!" the black and white puppy declared fervently and, noticing the glare that was being leveled his way from the girl in question, quickly amended, "not that I, uh, expect my partner to be utterly irresponsible and senseless! I'm confident that she will always act intelligently and with good intentions!"

"...Right. Anyway, you have my thanks, sensei." Somewhat surprisingly, Ranma-chan bowed before her latest teacher in a rare display of honest respect. "I haveta hand it to ya, you may be one of the kookiest of the many strange instructors I've had and your training methods are absolutely _absurd_, but there's no arguing with the results."

"Heh, and while you've been one of the most stubborn, unruliest pupils in my tenure as the master of this school, you have also been one of the best," the Master said kindly, returning the redhead's bow with a lesser one of her own. "I expect great things of you, Ranko, and I know you won't disappoint. Now go out there and make all students of Pretty Magical Girl Martial Arts proud!"

Ranma-chan's arrogant smirk said everything as she turned around and walked down the steps that would lead her back into the city, an eager cadence to her gait. Shogi followed close behind her, practically bouncing with excitement at the true start of his new job. Solemnly watching the two depart, the Master and Kuroyo remained silent until their students had completely disappeared from view.

"And so as one journey ends, another begins," the mystical martial arts instructor said at last with a sense of profoundness, inclining her head to gaze down at the raven perched on her shoulder. "You know, Kuroyo, as much of a headache as she was to train, I'm really going to miss Ranko. A student like her is a rare find."

The animal familiar rolled his eyes. "You're just saying that 'cause now with her gone you don't have any more valid excuses to put off doing your paperwork," he retorted sarcastically. "I'm actually surprised you let her go so quickly. Aren't you worried about the possible consequences of rushing her training so much?"

The Master narrowed her eyes. "Are you doubting the effectiveness of my Hyper-Accelerated Turbo-Mystical Pretty Magical Girl Ultra-Training Miracle Course, Kuroyo?" she asked ominously.

The black raven sighed. "Were you anyone else I'd say get over yourself, but since I suspect that's an impossibility for you nevermind. Still, I would feel better had you kept Ranko here an extra week or two to refine her technique and make sure her conceptual understandings are correct. Unleashing the power of the soul can be dangerous if mistakes are made."

"Ha! Dangerous smangerous," the expert martial artist replied with a dismissive wave of her left hand. "You don't always need the equivalent of twenty four animated episodes of experience to master the art of being a magical girl, and resorting to that sort of methodology can be self-limiting anyway. After all, who wants to be stuck using the same attack against the monster of the week for weeks on end these days? That is _so_ last season."

"And at any rate," she added confidently, "I have expert judgment in this field and Ranko has my stamp of approval. I wasn't lying when I said that she has been one of my best students, and what she lacks now time and experience will take care of." She wagged her left index finger at her partner. "And remember, Pretty Magical Girl Martial Arts is more than just a method of fighting – it's a lifestyle in and of itself and once Ranko gets into the swing of things everything will take care of itself so stop worrying so much!"

Kuroyo looked away from his master and spared another glance down the stone steps, his expression becoming contemplative. "I suppose you could be right. With a few NOTABLE exceptions your students have all turned out well and with more sanity than yourself, and Ranko does possess remarkable innate potential. I just hope her promise isn't blinding you to the risks posed by her Jusenkyo curse."

"Please, a Jusenkyo curse is nothing to be concerned about!" the Master scoffed before doing a rapid double-take. "Wait, a Jusenkyo what?"

The incredulous look the raven shot his master could have powered a rocket to the moon and back on sheer amazement. "_Please_ tell me that all this time you weren't completely _unaware_ of your student's aquatic curse?" Kuroyo asked pleadingly, mind reeling at the scope of his partner's obliviousness. "Did you even _once_ read her aura fully?"

"Err...aha, nope," the Master answered with a hint of embarrassment, making apologetic gestures with her hands. "I just kind of assumed that a cute girl like that was totally what she appeared to be. So, um, Ranko has a Jusenkyo curse? Those are those Chinese springs that cause you to change form when splashed with water, right?" She frowned accusingly at her magical familiar. "Why didn't you tell me this earlier, by the way? It's your job to screen prospective students before they get to me!"

Kuroyo sighed exasperatedly. "I was deferring to your so-called 'expert judgment in this field' and assumed that not even you could miss something _that_ obvious! So forgive me for preferring to think that it was curiosity rather than carelessness that convinced you to train an aqua-transsexual!"

"Aqua-transsexual? You mean Ranko's actually a...boy?" the older woman said in shock, eyes widening noticeably. "Oh my..." Fair face scrunching up in thought as she mulled over this revelation, the Master suddenly snapped her fingers as a new insight struck her.

"Aha! No wonder she became Razzle Dazzle Ranko! If she's actually a he then Ranko mustn't be her real name, which means that her transformation sequence doesn't give away her true identity after all! I was wondering about that."

The weight of the magical familiar's sweatdrop sent him toppling off his master's shoulder to land loudly on the ground. "You just unknowingly taught the secret style of Pretty Magical Girl Martial Arts to a guy AND YOU'RE CONCERNED ABOUT NAMES?"

"Well, yes. Should I be otherwise?" the silver haired woman replied casually, bending over to face the dour raven. "Why worry over spilled milk? What's done is done, and regardless of whatever gender issues she might have Ranko proved herself worthy of being my student. Besides," she added with a mischievous wink, "aren't you forgetting Pretty Magical Girl Martial Art's ultimate secret technique?"

Kuroyo squinted up at her, annoyed but also curious. "When pressed for time, soliloquize?"

The Master's face scrunched up cutely. "That's actually the second ultimate secret technique, right above when in doubt, cry." Shaking her head once to clear it of distractions, the ancient teacher rose to her full height and gazed penetratingly at the distant horizon where the sun was slowly rising. On cue, a well-timed gust of wind arrived to rustle her clothes and blow her silver hair back theatrically. When she spoke next, it was in a voice that was old and experienced beyond measure.

"No, my friend, the ultimate secret technique is something much subtler than that and is a fundamental truth for those who unlock the power of their souls. I could enumerate on it for hours and still not fully explain it, but to put it in its simplest terms..." She was silent for a moment, letting the tension and suspense build, but not even the amazing power of the dramatic pause could save the seriousness of her speech from her next words. "...things will work out in the end so let's eat ice cream in the meantime!"

The raven was silent for a long moment, first gazing long-sufferingly up at the sky, then tiredly at his partner, and finally resignedly at the empty stone steps, Ranko and Shogi long gone. There really was only one thing he could do now.

"Dibs on the peppermint flavor."

000ooo000000ooo000

"Man, am I glad that's finally over with! Another week there and I'd be loopier than Kodachi!" Ranma-chan said with relief, walking along the streets of a residential area in one of Tokyo's many wards. "I honestly don't know how you put up with those two weirdos for so long, Shogi. I'm probably going ta have nightmares for weeks on end just from my short time there!"

"Ruff," Shogi answered noncommittally, trotting alongside his partner and shirking back from the odd looks the many passersby were giving the two of them. Ranko was apparently unaware of the incongruity of a seemingly truant redhead girl complaining about crazy people while holding a conversation with a dog in a public area, he noted ruefully. Hopefully this wasn't a sign that Kuroyo's predictions of ditziness were already coming true.

"Meh, whatever," the martial artist replied, stretching her arms above her head as she walked. "With that absurdness behind me, I can finally focus on what's truly important and prove that I'm the best again! If Ryouga thinks being powerful enough to destroy the entire city with a wave of his hand is enough to keep me down he's got another thing coming to him! After all, Saotome Ran-" She spared her traveling companion a quick glance. "-ko never loses!"

"Bark," the young canine whined plaintively. There were a lot of questions he wanted to ask, such as who was this Ryouga and was fighting somebody powerful enough to destroy cities _really_ the smartest way to start off their careers as mystical warriors of justice. Unfortunately, a talking dog would have attracted even more attention than they were currently receiving, and he'd been warned not to put his partner's new vocation at risk of discovery. Oh, if only they were in Akihabara or Shibuya right now! He'd have been able to speak freely there because those two places were so accustomed to strangeness that he could pass himself off as a next-generation robot and no one would bat an eye.

For her part, Ranma-chan was mentally shifting gears. Prompted by the reminder that her canine partner was unaware of her true identity and ignorant that her opponent was in fact _Hibiki_ Ryouga, the redhead quickly concluded that it would be in her best interests if the animal familiar was far away when she met up with her rival again for their inevitable rematch. There was no need to test his loyalties this early on, and if Shogi learned that she'd been deceiving him and the School of Pretty Magical Girl Martial Arts this entire time he might tell the Master...and the Master was already insufferable enough when she was in a good mood! The thought of facing her former teacher when she was angry sent shivers down her spine. Not that she was afraid or anything, but she'd prefer to deal with all of those potential problems _after_ she'd beaten the Lost Boy. Idiotic, over-powered rival first, deranged martial arts sensei who took cruel and unusual to new levels second.

"Hey Shogi, I have a great idea!" she said sweetly, stopping and crouching down so she didn't tower over him. "Now that we've both graduated, why don't you pay your mother a visit and spend a week or two with her so the two of you can catch up?" She clasped her hands together cheerfully. "I'm sure that she'd _love_ to hear from you!"

"Yip?" the off-colored puppy questioned, feeling uneasy as he met his partner's now beaming eyes that seemed to have tripled in size. It always disconcerted him when people (and animals too, for that matter) did that, although at least it seemed that the Master hadn't taught her pupil how to add stars and glitter to the effect.

Undeterred by the language barrier that currently existed between them, the young martial artist plowed ahead. "Aw, don't worry about that, Shogi! I'll be fine on my own for a little while, and I guarantee ya that I'll stay out of trouble until you get back. Honest!" Noticing the familiar's hesitance, Ranma-chan decided to try another tactic and narrowed her eyes dangerously. "You _do_ trust me, right Shogi? I'd hate to think that you're treating my kindly suggestions with suspicion when we've only been true partners for less than an hour!"

"...Ruff," the canine youth finally conceded, sighing worriedly. He still had a bad feeling about this, and while he was young he wasn't quite so naïve as to believe that there wasn't something more to Ranko's "kindly" intentions than what she was telling him. Still, expecting his charge to completely trust him right off the bat was even more foolish, and he certainly wasn't going to earn her confidence if he appeared to doubt her every word. Besides, it wasn't like it was hard to get around Tokyo and he could always track her down quickly if necessary, and he did want to see his mother again...

"Great!" Ranma-chan spoke enthusiastically, taking her familiar's gruff response as an affirmative. She patted him a couple times on the head encouragingly. "I'm sure you'll have a wonderful time with your Mom! And in a week or two when you're done catching up and spending family time doing...well, whatever it is dogs do for family time, come to Nerima! I'll be waiting."

Shogi nodded and, keeping a half eye on his partner, slowly turned around and trotted off. Only after he'd disappeared around a corner and she'd waited five minutes to be safe did Ranma-chan let the smirk she'd been suppressing surface.

"Heh, good thing for me that Ryouga won't be _any_ trouble for me to handle now," she remarked, her trademark confidence clearly restored. "By the time we meet again it'll all be over! Hehehe." An unwelcome thought occurred to her, and she frowned unpleasantly as she suddenly realized the one critical flaw in her otherwise brilliant plan. "Assuming I can find that idiot! For his sake, Ryouga better be in Nerima so I can wring his neck out 'cause if he isn't I'll wring it out twice as hard later!"

Completely ignoring the many stares she was receiving, Ranma-chan broke into a purposeful sprint and took off towards Nerima. Time waits for no man, and although she was technically a girl at the moment she wasn't about to let such minor technicalities get in the way. The sooner she fought and utterly defeated her rival the quicker she'd have her spot as Nerima's best martial artist back, and after the utterly mortifying training she'd just been through she was determined not to let anything stop her, not even the end of the world if it came to that.

Little did the young martial artist know as she dashed through the streets of Tokyo, it would.

000ooo000000ooo000

Elsewhere that same morning, in a familiar restaurant with two even more familiar and equally truant youths a scene that both were sadly all too familiar with was playing out again.

"Ryouga?"

"Yes, Ukyo?"

**CLANG!**

"...Was that really necessary?" The Eternally Lost Boy released a long-suffering sigh from where he sat in front of the counter at Ucchan's and raised his head to give his attractive companion a pointed look. While he had scarce grounds on which to criticize communicating through violence considering his own track record on the matter, this routine was getting old and he didn't need an oversized spatula slammed over his head to understand that Ukyo was displeased with his lack of progress at wooing Akane. The irate looks she'd been sending his way every time he walked into her restaurant had become sharper than the edges of a Destructo Disk lately, making her unhappiness known to him with almost painful clearness.

For her part, the act of violence seemed to cheer Ukyo up and the glower that had been on her face moments ago transformed into a haughty grin at Ryouga's glare. "Of course it was! Trust me, you look less pathetic when you're angry than when you're sullen, and how else am I supposed to test my new adamantium spatula other than over your thick skull?" She eyed her favored instrument of combat and cutlery appraisingly and smiled at the results of her inspection. "See? No dents this time!" The lovely dark haired woman proudly held up her remarkably unmarred spatula for him to see. Unfortunately for Ryouga, his lack of common sense kicked in again.

"So?" the Lost Boy retorted, clearly unimpressed.

**CLANG!**

"Just double-checking, hon," Ukyo said vindictively and with a wicked smirk. "After all, with all the spatulas that have gone to the scrap heap because of you I want to make sure this one'll hold up after the warranty expires. And on a different note..." She resheathed her spatula and slammed both hands down on the counter in front of the Eternal Wanderer. "Ryouga, why aren't you at the Tendo's? Akane won't find out you love her if you spend all your time moping about here acting like you just discovered your mother's an international criminal!"

_That_ got a reaction from the Lost Boy, but not the one the okonomiyaki chef had expected.

"Hey! I'll have you know that Mom's never hurt anyone with her thefts!" Ryouga replied defensively and a little hotly. "She's the nicest criminal mastermind you'll ever meet, honest!"

Ukyo blinked and stared at the Lost Boy in silence for several long moments. "That was a figure of speech, Ryouga," she said at last, not sure she wanted to know the answer to her next question but her curiosity was so strong she couldn't help asking anyway. "Your mother isn't actually a global outlaw...is she?"

As it was wont to do, the young martial artist's demeanor performed a complete 180 degree shift. "Wha? A joke? Yeah, ha ha hehe, I was...um...just playing along!" he said unconvincingly, further undermined by his nearly trademark nervousness. "After all, eh, it's not like, ha, my mother's the head of an international thieving organization with a sinister acronym like VILE or any...thing." The look on the fanged fighter's face clearly said that he'd revealed too much. "So, ah, let's forget I said anything about this at all, okay? Eheh..."

"VILE wha-"

"It's not important!" Ryouga interrupted with borderline panic in his voice, stiffening in his stool. Remarkably, though, he managed to exert some control over himself a moment later and relaxed slightly. Wearing a strained smile, the brown-eyed youth changed the subject to less familial but equally uncomfortable matters. "So, anyway, let's talk about Akane! Yeah, Akane...what do you think I should do, Ukyo?"

The young chef was quiet for several seconds but eventually decided to let the previous topic drop. After all, breaking up Ranma and Akane was what was important to her, and the Lost Boy could have a vampire for a mother for all she cared about that...though that would explain the fangs..."I've told you _countless_ times already, Ryouga!" she answered, refusing to allow such meaningless trains of thought to distract her. "The only way you're going to get Akane to look at you as anything other than a friend is to tell her how you feel! Just look at Ranma and me, for example! If I didn't keep reminding Ranma that I love him he wouldn't think of me as anything other than his best friend."

The Eternal Wanderer scratched the back of his head in confusion. "But Ukyo, Ranma does only think of you as his best frie-"

**CLANG!**

"You were _saying_, hon?" Ukyo said with the same sweetness of a gingerbread house that hides a witch, giant spatula held menacingly in both hands.

"Er...that might work for you, Ukyo, but Akane doesn't handle proclamations of love as well as Ranma," Ryouga spoke eventually, self-preservation instincts giving his common sense the volume it needed to warn him that he was better off not completing his earlier sentence. "Probably has to do with Kuno and all those guys at Furinkan who attack her everyday." He growled at this, angered by the thought of any man using force against a woman to make her go out with him. That was despicable and dishonorable, and those guys were lucky that Akane already gave them all the punishment they deserved. He wouldn't be as merciful.

"And more than that, I'm worried what'll happen if I do tell her," the talented martial artist said gloomily, mind shifting gears again. "Akane...to her I'm just a friend, but every time I work up the nerve to tell her how I feel she says something that reminds me of just how much our friendship means to her. I love her, but if she finds out and thinks I've only pretended to be her friend to get close to her it could poison our friendship, and I could lose her for good. And...it would cause her pain," he concluded sadly. "Hurting Akane is the last thing I want to do and...I dunno...maybe if it would make her happy, I should just accept being her friend forever."

Ukyo rolled her eyes and sighed disgustedly. Was it honestly too much to ask for a co-conspirator who didn't suffer from massive self-doubt and self-esteem issues that would make even Freud throw up his hands in dismay? No choice now but to taunt his idiotic masculine pride. "Ryouga, stop being such a coward!" she yelled, looking him squarely in the eye. "Despite what you think, it's not noble to suffer in silence for the sake of the woman you love just because you don't know if she'll return your feelings! That's just plain stupid, especially if there's a chance the two of you could be truly happy together! Besides, in this case Ranma is clearly meant to be with me so you'd be doing Akane a favor getting her out of that doomed relationship!"

"That still doesn't make telling her any easier!" Ryouga retorted irritably, annoyed by both his friend's tone, the truth of her words, and the cruel irony of the situation. His desire to see Akane again was one of the few things that had kept him going during the darkest hours on Namek, but now that the girl of his dreams was finally within reach she seemed farther away than ever. So much for happy endings after saving the world.

"Then don't!" the dark haired chef replied, surprising the Lost Boy. "Ryouga, you're clearly overthinking this," she continued in a softer, more persuasive tone. "Your options aren't just silence or confession. Yes, Akane's dense enough that it might take a full-blown declaration of love before she figures things out, but you can lessen the risk of scaring her away by working up to that! Instead of just training her, put the two of you in more obviously romantic situations by asking her to the movies or treating her to meals after your sparring sessions. In other words, take her out on dates without calling them dates! At the very least it'll be a step in the right direction, and it's better than your current strategy of indecision and hoping she'll make the first move."

"And besides," she added, lowering her voice and doing her best to grin playfully, "let's just suppose, hypothetically speaking, that you did miraculously manage to admit your feelings to Akane and she felt similarly. Do you honestly expect her to throw herself into your arms and all of a sudden you two become the happiest, lovey-doveiest couple in Nerima? Things like that take time, even with love."

The Lost Boy blushed and coughed in embarrassment. "N-no, of cour-course not. I would never think something so silly, though...th-that would be nice if it did happen that way, right?"

Ukyo sighed and rolled her eyes again. Honestly! She already had a low opinion of men (with one notable exception!) in general, in part because she'd pretended to be one for so long and knew firsthand just how _stupid_ and _immature_ they could be, but Ryouga tested even her depressed expectations at times. Was it any wonder why the urge to thwack him with her spatula was so hard to resist? Hm, speaking of which...

**CLANG!**

"That one was for good luck!" the okonomiyaki chef proclaimed cheerfully, giving the Lost Boy an encouraging smile. "Now go out there and make your parents proud, hon."

000ooo000000ooo000

"Darn it Sis, we've been everywhere from Chicago to Czechoslovakia and back and she still escaped us! How does she do it?"

"I don't know, little bro. I'm still trying to understand how she got from Berlin to Belize so quickly! Even when we had her cornered in that corner in China she somehow appeared in Nashville and then dashed to Norway! It just doesn't make sense."

"Neither does stealing the Great Pyramid of Giza, but she did that too along with nabbing the Roman Coliseum and Machu Picchu! If we don't stop her soon there won't be any wonders of the world left!"

"Yeah, well, that's what ACME's here for. We'll solve this case, just as soon as we figure out...where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?"

000ooo000000ooo000

"Intruder detected! Initializing security protocol 7-Theta-8B."

"What the-"

**Crackle-taka-taka-taka-SKREEL!**

"Feh, not bad but I can do better! Mōko Takabisha!"

**Kra-CLANG!**

Tendo Nabiki smirked and took another sip of her tea as she sat on the floor next to the dining table and listened to the sounds of combat coming from her front yard. It seemed Ranma was back and getting familiar with their new Arquillian security system. Of course, she could easily spare him the inconvenience and reset it to standby mode, but where would the fun be in that? The middle Tendo daughter had no doubts about her future brother-in-law's ability to deal with the situation, and truth be told she was getting pretty tired of the house's newest protection. The startled looks on the faces of the hapless deliverymen had been fun at first but quickly lost value once they started raising their prices, and the lasers and sonic emitters were interfering with her business dealings. It had taken almost _thirty minutes_ to talk that Toyoto representative down from that tree the other day.

Sure enough, a few rounds of laser-fire and several small clangs and explosions later Nabiki heard the sounds of someone sliding the front door open and kicking off their shoes. The irritated voice that followed was clearly Ranma's. "What's with the robot sentries I just trashed? That definitely wasn't the homecoming I expected."

"Good afternoon to you too, Ranma," Nabiki called out, taking in Ranma-chan's unharmed appearance as the redhead plodded her way to the dining room and sat down across from her. "I take it your training was harder than anticipated? We all expected you back a couple days ago."

The young martial artist groaned unhappily at the memory. "I'd rather not talk about it. Suffice it to say that Ryouga won't stand a chance in our next fight if I can find the idiot to challenge him! I've been looking for him since morning without any luck."

"You could try asking Akane. She's been spending a lot of time with Ryouga lately," the brunette suggested slyly, watching with amusement as Ranma-chan stiffened at her words. "Sis really appreciates the martial arts lessons he's been giving her."

"Martial arts lessons, eh?" An annoyed expression flashed across the youth's face before vanishing under a veneer of indifference. "Meh, good for her then. That tomboy needs all the help she can get when it comes to fighting, though I doubt Ryouga's lessons'll make much of a difference."

Nabiki didn't bother to hide the growing smile on her face. Oh how she was going to enjoy this! "I wouldn't be so dismissive, Ranma. Akane should be home any moment now, and you just might be surprised when you see her again." The brunette turned so she was facing the open door that looked out onto the koi pond.

Ranma-chan squinted at her puzzledly. "What are you talking abo-"

_SWOOSH!_

"I'm home!" Akane announced cheerfully from several feet above the yard, slowly descending to horizontally land just outside the door. Seeing her fiancé as she took off her shoes, her face momentarily beamed with happiness. It quickly shifted to a more neutral expression as she remembered her annoyance at Ranma-chan for refusing to tell her where she'd gone and not even calling, but the utterly flabbergasted look on the redhead's face improved her mood again. "Welcome home, Ranma. Your training went well, I assume?" the youngest Tendo asked pleasantly with a hint of smugness in her voice as she made her way to the table to join her sister and Ranma-chan.

"Wha?" The young martial artist looked at her blue haired fiancée with clear shock, injured pride and jealousy both flaring at the thoughts that Akane _of all people_ could do something she couldn't and that Ryouga was the one who'd taught her how to fly. Knowing how hard it was to teach Akane anything, Ryouga must've spent hours if not _days_ with her and-

"You're wearing the boy's school uniform!" Ranma-chan blurted recklessly, eager to focus her mind elsewhere and perhaps hesitant to give Akane the satisfaction of asking the question she clearly expected and wanted to hear. Whatever the reason, instead of getting angry at the remark the attractive teenager blushed slightly and looked down at her white t-shirt and dark pants.

"Yeah, well, it didn't take me long to realize that flying in a skirt isn't a good idea," the brown-eyed Tendo answered a little sourly, fidgeting. "Kuno taking this as further proof that I'm an angel's bad enough without a herd of perverts trying to get under me every time I float a few feet off the ground. Fortunately, with a little help from Ukyo I managed to convince the Principal to make another exception in the dress code."

"And by 'help' she means catching the Principal after Ukyo knocked him out of a window and sweetly asking him to let her change uniforms while dangling him several stories above the ground," Nabiki chimed in genially, conspicuously enjoying the conversation. "I'd say it would be a long time before he puts you through another swim test too, but this is Kuno-baby's dad we're talking about. Still, that was definitely one of the week's highlights."

"It's not as bad as Nabiki makes it sound, honest!" Akane protested, embarrassed. "It's not like I was actually going to drop him if he said no, and I would have put him down no matter what he said...eventually."

"Uh-huh," Ranma-chan replied dubiously, chuckling at the mental image that provoked anyway. Heaven knew that Hawaiian freak deserved a few scares, and it wasn't as if a fall from that height would do more than inconvenience any of the Kunos for more than a few days. They were as persistent as they were resilient, unfortunately for just about everyone else.

For her part, the middle Tendo sister let a cat-like smile bloom on her features. "Suuure you would have, Sis, just as I'm sure you wouldn't use your newfound power of flight to make trips to Okinawa without telling your loving family." At Akane's bout of nervous laughter, Nabiki simply shook her head in mock disapproval. "The souvenirs gave you away, Sis. And really, if you're going to fly to Okinawa and back every other day the least you could do is bring back some fresh sata andagi with you."(1)

"It's not like I'm there on leisure," Akane asserted defensively, sparing her sister a slightly embarrassed look. "It's part of my flight training with Ryouga, and he says that if I continue to make such fast progress we might be able to travel to Hawaii in another two weeks."

At the mention of 'Ryouga' and 'Hawaii,' Ranma-chan winced sharply, covering her reflexive jealousy a second later with a mask of scorn. "My, it certainly sounds like you're _enjoying_ your training, Akane, though if you let Ryouga lead you anywhere you'll be lucky to reach your destination in a month. Then again, maybe you wouldn't _mind_ getting lost for a little while, hmm?"

Akane's left eye twitched. "That'd at least be better than spending my time with a certain arrogant jerk," she said tersely, taking her finance's insinuations and insults about as well as she ever did...which was to say not well at all. "Ryouga and I might even try flying around the world as part of my training, and I've always wanted to visit _Paris_..."

"Yeah, well, I hope you can afford airfare 'cause once I'm through with Ryouga he won't be flying _anywhere_ for a while," the redhead retorted contemptuously, crossing her arms. "You're better off staying at home with Kasumi anyway since a tomboy like you would probably crash into a flock of birds o' something." A curious note entered the confident Saotome's voice. "Speaking of whom, where's Kasumi? I was hoping she could heat up a kettle of hot water for me."

"She's on a date," Nabiki answered playfully, amused by Ranma-chan's incredulous "Date?" and her sister's dismayed sigh. "Wouldn't you know it, but hardly any sooner than you left a mysterious stranger walked into her life and swept my dear sister off her feet." She raised and clasped her two hands together beside her head, leaning against them theatrically. "How wonderfully romantic and so _unlike_ the other guys in Nerima who wouldn't know what romance was even if it drove a steamroller over them."

If the young Saotome detected the slight, her mind was still reeling too much from the surprise of Kasumi doing something that was, well, not Kasumi-ish to react. Instead, it took Akane's next words to break her mental shock.

"It's not actually a date," the youngest Tendo clarified, rolling her eyes at her sister who smirked in response. "Kasumi simply happened to make a new friend who's visiting the city and will be leaving shortly, so she's been showing him around Tokyo to be nice." She smiled reassuringly. "Trust me, there's no more going on between the two of them than there is between Ryouga and me."

Ranma-chan shot her a disbelieving look, the jealous part of her mind in hackles over the double-meaning and the rest of her that knew better boggling over how Akane could be so astoundingly oblivious. Fortunately for the redhead's physical wellbeing, before she could formulate a response that Takahashi experts would claim had an 80% chance of inciting Akane's wrath a visitor arrived at the house.

"Hello?" the Eternally Lost Boy called out as he glided down onto the Tendo's yard near the koi pond, traveler's backpack and bamboo umbrella on his back. He grinned happily when he saw the youngest Tendo through the open side-door. "Ah, Akane, just the person I wanted to see! I was thinking that for today we could-" He trailed off abruptly when he laid eyes on Ranma-chan.

"YOU!" the two rivals shouted in perfect unison, pointing angrily at each other. The fanged Hibiki growled and reflexively reached for his red combat umbrella, but Ranma-chan was even quicker and practically vaulted away from the table in her haste to rush out and meet him. The two Tendo sisters exchanged worried looks (less worried than amused in Nabiki's case) and also stood up to walk into the yard. By the time they reached the door the two martial artists were already standing nearly toe to toe and glaring at one other. The redhead was the first to speak.

"Ryouga, I demand a rematch!" she exclaimed hotly, looking up at him with fire in her eyes. "I've seen hell because of you, and I'm not going to let you get away with it!"

The Eternally Lost Boy blinked, Ranma-chan's words having two opposite effects on him. In the first instance, they reminded Ryouga that he'd easily won their last battle and he had every reason to feel smug towards his rival. On the other hand, that was one of his lines!

"Damn it, Ranma, don't steal my lines!" the dark haired wanderer demanded irritably, gazing down at his rival with eyes that nearly smoldered. "No matter what hell you've been hiding from me in for the past week, it can't possibly compare to the agonies I've endured because of you! And if you want to be defeated again so badly, it'll be my delight to oblige you!"

"Ha! Ya just got lucky last time, P-chan!" Ranma-chan jabbed her left index finger at Ryouga's chest to enunciate her next words. "Our next battle will be a totally different story! Just the two of us, one-on-one, no holds barred! And when it's your beaten body lying on the ground, my honor will be restored! And you'll buy me ice cream to make up for all the indignities I've suffered because of you!"

"Feh, awfully confident for someone who-...wait, ice cream?" Ryouga asked puzzledly, squinting down dubiously at his rival who, suddenly realizing what she'd just said, felt her cheeks flush with embarrassment. "What does ice cream have to do with any of this?" An answer came to him a moment later, and his face became florid with rage.

"First you steal my lunch, and now you want to take my dessert too? Curse you, Ranma! I won't let you get away with this!" Ryouga batted away the redhead's finger and clenched his fists, just barely managing to restrain himself from trying to kill his rival on the spot. "I'll see you tomorrow after school at Furinkan if that works for you, and this time I won't go easy on you!"

"Good, maybe you'll last more than a minute!" Ranma-chan retorted, eager to move beyond her ice cream lapse and hoping that was the only wound the Master's mentally scarring teaching methods had inflicted on her psyche. The training had been embarrassing enough without her starting to act like the pink-eyed freak too. And speaking of embarrassing...

"But, uh, let's not fight at Furinkan, okay? One giant crater at school is enough, and I don't want _you_ claiming that you were holding back so as not to hurt any bystanders after I've beaten you!" Ranma-chan fibbed, actually more worried about her classmates seeing her _mortifying_ transformation sequence. She wanted to win, but she also wanted to be able to go to school without being laughed out of the building afterwards!

"Fine, I'll fight you wherever you want, Ranma, and just in case you think about running away to China again don't even bother," Ryouga spoke contemptuously with a grim smile on his face. "As minuscule as your battle aura is compared to mine, I can still track it and hunt you down no matter where in the world you hide! I'll meet you at four o'clock, and trust me when I say that _I_ won't be the one making excuses when the fight's over."

He turned to glance at Akane, and his belligerent mood lessened slightly. "A-Akane, I'm sorry, but today...today's lesson should probably wait. There are a few techniques I want to practice before using them on Ranma, just to make sure that I only _almost_ kill him. We c-can pick up where we left off after tomorrow." Giving his rival one last spiteful look, the Eternally Lost Boy turned and flew away. Ranma-chan remained rooted to the ground, watching her soaring rival intently, until finally Ryouga's form completely disappeared in the distance. And then she smiled crookedly.

"Heh, you won't be the only one training, Ryouga!" she declared, confidently crossing her arms over her chest and looking smug. "Tomorrow's our big day, and if you think I'm going to spend even a second between now and then relaxing think again! I promise on my honor as a martial artist that you will admit defeat tomorrow, even if I have to spend all night reading through Akane's Sailor Moon collection! Gwahahaha!"

Nabiki gave her blushing sister a sidelong look as her future brother-in-law continued to soliloquize, seemingly totally oblivious to the audience behind her. "Sailor Moon? My my, Sis, I thought you said you'd grown out of that phase and donated your childhood manga to the kids in the neighborhood?" she teased.

"I, uh, well, y'see..." the youngest Tendo answered hesitantly, nervously twiddling her thumbs together before, following the example of her father and Genma, deciding her best option in this situation was to evade answering the question all together. "Ranma you jerk! Don't announce it to the entire block!" she yelled, summoning a mallet and running over to her fiancé with what were clearly violent intentions.

_**THWACK!**_

The middle Tendo sister couldn't help but smile as Ranma-chan's speechmaking came to an abrupt halt as her body slumped unconscious to the ground, an angry Akane standing over her prone figure with a mallet raised high. In a way, it was nice to know that in a world where her younger sister could fly, they had a hover car stored in the dojo, and her older sister was dating a mysterious stranger, that some things remained the same. And speaking of that...

"Heh, I wonder if Kasumi's having as much fun as I am right now."

000ooo000000ooo000

"Kasumi, are you all right?"

"Hm?" The comely brunette shook her head once and turned to face her companion, a friendly and apologetic smile on her face. "Yes, sorry. I'm not sure what came over me. What were you saying again, Jadeite?"

The dark general looked down at the young woman he was with, taking in every detail of her from her brown eyes to her casual blue dress and green jacket, and frowned slightly. "Are you sure?" he asked, injecting a note of concern into his voice. "You look a little tired. Maybe we should come back to Shinjuku Gyoen another day to see the cherry blossoms?"

Kasumi shook her head gently and reached for his left hand, pulling him forward playfully. "I'm fine, honestly, and it's not like the cherry blossoms will be there forever. I really want you to see them before you go so please, just trust me. Everything will be all right."

Unwilling to resist her, Jadeite nodded his head slightly and followed along as she led him deeper into the former imperial garden they were visiting. Shinjuku Gyoen was an oasis of greenery and natural splendor in the mammoth metropolis that was Tokyo, an eye-pleasing sanctuary of flora, trees, and well kept paths that projected a feeling of freedom and respite from the city's nearly deafening hustle-bustle. Even with the sizable number of fellow visitors they passed on their walk the park's peaceful ambiance almost gave the powerful mystic the sense that he was alone with Kasumi, and it was to her that his heavy thoughts turned. Though she hid it well, there was a hint of gloom to the brunette's features that had been there ever since he'd told her that he was leaving soon, and the knowledge that there was someone who would sincerely miss him nearly made the illusionist feel..._wistful_, of all the strange emotions to be experiencing now.

"I know I've said this before, but I really appreciate you taking the time to show me around," Jadeite spoke after a moment as he accelerated his pace to walk beside rather than behind Kasumi, uncharacteristically uncertain about what to say but wanting to break the silence anyway. He shot her a grateful smile as he continued to talk and analytically noted the subsequent coloring of her cheeks. "As I told you earlier, I have to leave sometime next week, but if there's anything I can do for you between now and then just say it and I will make it happen. That's a promise."

Kasumi returned his smile with a warm one of her own, though there was a touch of sadness to it. "You don't have to do anything, Jadeite. I'm always glad to meet new people and make new friends, and I'm happy to be of help. Besides," she added, looking at him with a sheen to her eyes that was unreadable even to him, "our time together has been enjoyable to me too, so don't think any of this has been a burden to me."

"Never, and...I'm glad to be your friend. They're not something I have a lot of," the blue-eyed mystic confided quietly, drawing incrementally closer to her so their hands almost brushed as they walked through the park together. The density of trees increased as they approached one of the more popular cherry blossom viewing areas, and the general's lips quirked upwards in what could have passed as a grin. "Though I must say, the odds of finding another friend or anyone who could compare with your kindness are slim, even if I spent an eternity searching the universe."

The shorter brunette's head listed to the side as she turned to regard him, blushing faintly. "My, I think you're giving me too much credit, Jadeite," Kasumi said softly though she didn't seem displeased by the compliment. "Friends are each special in their own way and you're not supposed to compare them to one another and besides, I'm just me."

"Just me?" Jadeite repeated with a shake of his head, smiling disarmingly. "Kasumi, you're-" His next words were preempted by a particularly strong gust of wind that sent the young Tendo's long hair fluttering behind her and cascaded the two of them with loose cherry blossoms. To the general's surprise, he felt his breath catch in his throat as the scarlet and pink petals swirled around and seemingly gently caressed the serene brunette. This wasn't the first time Jadeite had seen this floral effect and he easily identified it as one of the colorful, trite tropes mass-produced in the media of this and many other worlds...but now, for the very first time, the blue-eyed soldier finally understood its charm.

"You're beautiful."

Kasumi looked up at the words, a surprised and inquisitive expression on her face. Jadeite didn't blame her. For once, the mystic had spoken honestly without any lies or intent to deceive in his blackened heart, and there was a power and conviction in his voice that he had often simulated but which had never been genuine before. Gazing at her now and seeing her undeniable, unvarnished loveliness, he felt something approaching actual _affection_ as he raised a hand to gently brush her cheek. Once again, the young woman didn't pull back and only continued to watch him with her deep, questioning hazel eyes, and the sight brought to mind their last visit to a park where he'd manipulated her into a similar situation. This time Jadeite planned neither to drain her lifeforce nor engage in osculation, though, and instead he sighed once and did something even rarer for him. He continued to speak the truth.

"Kasumi, there are many memories I'd love to be rid of...but our time together isn't one of them. I want you to know that, no matter what happens next, I will never forget you or your friendship. Thank you." He lowered his arm and took a step back, letting the outside world intrude between them again. This also had the effect of breaking the nonexistent spell the brunette was under, and she clasped her hands in front of her tranquilly, a beatific softness to her eyes.

"You speak as if we'll never see each other again, Jadeite, but surely that isn't true." Kasumi shook her head gently, as if to kindly remand him for his assumption. "Wherever your journeys take you, you will always be my friend and you will always be welcome in my home." A flash of uncertainty crossed her features, and in that moment she made a decision. "You told me that if there was anything you could do for me between now and when you leave that you'd do it. So please, promise me that you'll keep in touch and visit." She looked at him imploringly. "The world can be a lonely place to travel without people who care waiting for you to come back."

The wistful smile on Jadeite's face never faded, but the warmth quickly died as truth gave way to lies again. "Very well, Kasumi, if that will make you happy. I promise I'll return to visit you someday."

Even with all his skill at deception the impossible vow still sounded hollow to him, but it pleased his companion and her shining smile almost made him feel it had been worth it.

000ooo000000ooo000

It was an unusual afternoon in Shinagawa Ward. The crowds of people and incessant activity typical of Tokyo were absent, leaving a profound sense of emptiness made all the eerier by the silently towering office buildings, department stores, and apartment complexes casting their long, ominous shadows over the abandoned concrete streets. Signs that even as little as a few hours ago Shinagawa had still been inhabited were strewn all about in the form of crumpled newspapers, dropped beverage bottles, and tossed wrappers, the city's usual reputation for cleanliness forgotten in the need for urgency caused by the unknown reason behind the ward's emptying out.

Perhaps even stranger, though, were Shinagawa's only two current occupants. The short redhead girl in the school uniform was not unusual despite the rarity of her hair color, but she radiated a sense of power and confidence that would have made her stand out even in Tokyo's thickest crowds. In the emptiness of the large four-way intersection she now stood in the center of this trait was magnified. What truly made the scene bizarre, though, was the clearly annoyed off-colored canine chewing the young woman out.

"-don't believe this! Using a Jusenkyo curse to learn an ancient martial arts style by deceiving me _and_ the Master? Do you have any idea what the consequences will be once she finds out about this?" Shogi whined worriedly, head darting back and forth anxiously as if he expected the mere mention of their teacher's name to summon her. Slightly relieved by the lack of pink-eyed demon women, he refocused his attention on his 'partner'. "And then there's the fact that you're my mother's human owner's sworn enemy! What did I ever do to you to be put in this situation, Saotome _Ranma_?"

Ranma-chan reached behind her to scratch the back of her neck sheepishly. "Ah...heheh, I see you, uh, figured it out. Mind if I ask ya how...and why you're back so early? It's been barely more than a day since we last saw each other!"

The black and white dog sniffed affrontedly. "You might have tricked me, Ranma, but Mom's an S-Class ninja! She recognized your scent on me the second I returned home and told me all about your previous masquerade as Hibiki Yoiko! From there it was simple to figure out what was going on and that your training had all been a desperate ploy to gain the upperhand against your rival!" The young puppy narrowed his eyes angrily. "So much for everything you said about _trust_."

The talented martial artist looked down at her vexed familiar and sighed. While everything she'd done was absolutely necessary in her mind, it was unfortunate that Shogi had been dragged into this. The canine hadn't done anything wrong other than being crazy enough to actually want to be an animal familiar and had even given her the benefit of the doubt. And now, because of her, his very first assignment was a tangled mess of lies and tainted loyalties. Even if Shogi hadn't been a disarmingly cute puppy Ranma-chan would still feel bad. Still, defeating Ryouga had to come first so...

...so it was time to employ the Master's Seishinnyo Hikanrui special technique!(2)

"You deserve better, Shogi," the redhead said guiltily, bending over to pet him on the head gently. "And I feel bad about getting you involved in this. Really, I do! That's why I wanted ya to be as far away as possible from this battle," she fibbed, crouching down so she didn't tower over her partner so much. "And if you wanna, I'll go back with ya to the Master's school after all this, explain the situation, and apologize so you'll be free to start afresh with a new magical girl." Dropping him off there with a note probably wouldn't cut it, she thought ruefully, but she'd figure out how to let the Master know what had happened without actually facing her later.

"It's just...ya don't understand the relationship I have with Ryouga," she spoke heavily, looking away as she summoned the power of her soul and let it infuse her and her voice. "He and I...this is what we _do_. We fight, we train, we fight some more, and at the end of the day we laugh it all off and get ready for the same tomorrow. Our rivalry _drives_ our friendship, and Ryouga's one of the few true friends I have." She sighed dispiritedly and clenched a fist in mock frustration, pulling out all of her acting abilities. "But now...Ryouga's gotten so much better, and if I can't fight him on equal terms how are we supposed to relate to each other? This was the only way I could compete with him again!"

Ranma-chan added a note of desperation to her voice and turned vulnerable, pleading blue eyes on her familiar, channeling her power upward. Only a few more seconds..."I don't expect you to forgive what I've done, Shogi, and maybe even understanding is probably too much to ask for. Heck, Ryouga and me barely understand each other outside our rivalry. But please, try to accept it for just a little longer. For my sake _and_ Ryouga's, we need to fight again and I need to show him that our battle isn't over yet. Otherwise..."

"Otherwise...what reason will he have to come back and see me again?" she lamented, lower lip quivering. "Our competition binds us together, and without it...Ryouga's journeys will take him elsewhere...away from Nerima, and away from me. And I can't let that happen. I WON'T let that happen, because he's my friend!" A single perfect tear, beautiful in its sadness and impossible to ignore, dropped from her left eye, glistening myriadly in the light as it fell in a second made heavy by the weight off a burdened, purehearted soul. "So please, Shogi, don't try to stop me," the martial artist pleaded, voice rife with emotion. "This will be over soon enough, and then we can sort things out from there."

The black and white canine looked at Ranma-chan dubiously for a moment but was no match for a sad female face accentuated by a special technique that probably had far more in common with Genma's branch of Anything Goes than his son would ever admit. "All right, all right," he said uncomfortably, shifting listlessly and trying not to meet the ocean of gloom his partner's eyes had become. "The Master will definitely hear about this, but I'll wait for you to settle things with Ryouga first. Don't expect me to help you out during the battle, though, and I...uh, I hope you know that I'm rooting for Ryouga to win!" he asserted unconvincingly. "I'll stay in the neighborhood to watch, but unless the situation gets totally out of hand I won't interfere. You're on your own for this one!"

Ranma-chan beamed gratefully, face lighting up with more brightness than Las Vegas at night. "Thank you _so_ much, Shogi! I won't forget this!" she said excitedly, wrapping her arms around him in a warm hug and squeezing tightly as she inwardly congratulated herself on her performance. Now if only defeating Ryouga would be this easy...

Shogi struggled futilely for a moment to get out of the redhead's grip before she finally released him. Free again, he gazed at her uncertainly for a second, conflicted emotions on his furry face. "Well...be seeing ya," he muttered, turning around to walk away and find someplace to watch from a safe distance. "And, uh, even though I want you to lose don't get hurt _too_ badly, okay?" he called from behind his shoulder, a hint of poorly disguised worry in his voice. Before Ranma-chan could respond to his concerned comment, he ran off.

"Feh, _I_ won't be the one hurting when all this is over," the young martial artist said confidently to herself, rising to her feet and turning to face the sun, fully expecting the Eternally Lost Boy to come from that direction. This was less a reasoned deduction and more a gut instinct honed by a lifetime of battle experience that told her arriving from any other angle simply wouldn't be appropriately dramatic. And sure enough, judging by the flying blur of green light she spotted a few minutes later rapidly approaching her, it seemed her instincts were right.

"And now..." the redhead said eagerly, cracking her knuckles in front of her as she gazed intently at the approaching viridian speck. "It's time for the main event."

000ooo000000ooo000

To be continued...IMMEDIATELY.

* * *

Author's Notes:

(1) Sata andagi is a type of fried donut Okinawa is well-known for. Apparently Osaka from Azumanga Daioh is famous for liking it too, judging by the Youtube video remixes on the matter...which would probably be creepy if they weren't so amusing. Kind of like this story, I suppose. :)

(2) I don't know what methods Rumiko Takahashi uses to name martial arts techniques, but here I chose an intended meaning in English, looked up matching kanji, and then selected the kanji readings I wanted to use. In this case, sei is one of the readings for the kanji meaning "pure," shin for "heart," nyo for "woman," hi for "sad," kan for "feeling," and rui for "tears." Put it together and you have Sadness Tears of the Pure-Hearted Woman. For someone fluent in Japanese this probably seems painfully cobbled together for which I apologize. Hopefully it sounds cool, though.

Addendum: Remember how I said I was going to try to have the next chapter up quicker than the previous one? Well...it clearly didn't turn out that way. I'd like to say that the reason this update has taken so long is because I've been busy editing and trying to make this chapter the best it can be, and while that's partly true I also got distracted playing Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic 2. A great game that could have been even better had the content that was cut to meet the deadline been included, in my opinion. Oh, and I've been busy with school and finals too, but since that's actually a _legitimate_ excuse it doesn't really fit here, does it? :)

Anyway, the two parts of Chapter 4 were originally supposed to be Chapter 3 Part 2, but after looking through the story for who knows what time it occurred to me that for readability purposes it would make sense to break it up. Chapter 3 Part 1 is now just Chapter 3, and Part 2 is now a split Chapter 4. Current plans call for a Chapter 5 and an epilogue to wrap things up, but since plans have already changed once they could change again. Regardless of what structure the finished story ultimately takes, though, I hope the whole audience enjoys reading it. Thanks for staying with this story despite the incredibly long intervals between updates, and now, without further adieu, here's Part 2.


	5. Chapter 4 Part 2

Title: Magical Girl Ranko vs. Z-Fighter Ryouga

Author: Rowan Seven

Teaser: Ranma and Ryouga's epic duel begins as Jadeite's master brings her dark schemes to fruition. Can the world survive either of these developments?

Disclaimer: Ranma 1/2, Dragonball Z, Sailor Moon, Looney Tunes, and any other series I mention belong to their respective creators and copyright holders, as do the characters and settings in this story that don't belong to me. I make no claims to any of them and am making no financial profit from writing this story.

Author's Notes: Marked with (#) and posted at the end.

* * *

Chapter 4 Part 2 – T-Minus 3 2 1 0?

The Eternally Lost Boy circled around Tokyo one last time from the air, singling his rival's aura out from the millions of others in the massive metropolis. Compared to the Z-Fighters Ranma's power level barely stood out, but relative to the rest of the city's inhabitants it was still substantially higher. There were also a few odd readings here and there from what Ryouga assumed were probably either aliens, demons, magic-users, or demon-powered magical alien robots, but this was Japan so that was to be expected. The real difficulty lay in pinpointing the exact physical location of his antagonist's aura now that he could see it with his mind's eye, and with so many other lifeforces present getting a strong bearing was like trying to track down a voice at a sold-out rock concert. Still, he was nothing if not persistent as friend and foe alike would testify, and this was hardly more than a mere irritation compared to the epic travails he used to undergo in his efforts to arrive at duels.

"Found you," the black-haired youth muttered to himself at last, a fanged grin of anticipation spreading across his weathered features. With a thought he adjusted his aerial course to take him towards Ranma, making sure to come in from the direction of the sun. This was less a conscious decision on his part and more a gut reflex honed by years of martial arts experience that naturally inclined him to arrive silhouetted by whatever celestial orb happened to be in the sky at the time. After all, what type of Z-Fighter would he be if he didn't show up late to battle in a blinding flash of light?

Seconds later, Ryouga's rapid flight came to an abrupt halt several feet in front and above his longtime rival, the air shrieking in complaint as he stopped. The Lost Boy gazed at his opponent harshly for a moment with his brown eyes, floating in mid-air with his arms crossed across his chest and his frame outlined by sunlight. Then, with a thought, he refocused his ki and let himself fall to the concrete intersection, landing in a crouch with a heavy thud. Sliding his backpack off his shoulders, the young Hibiki brusquely rose and reached for his red combat umbrella...before reconsidering. Swinging his parasol around at supersonic speeds was a good way to cleave someone in two, and he had no problems settling this feud with his fists!

"Heh, I fly all the way out here to settle the score between us once and for all, and what do I find?" Ryouga asked contemptuously, standing at ease as he sized his rival up. "The high and mighty Saotome Ranma in his cursed form wearing a girl's school uniform? If you think a cute face will be enough to the change the impossible odds you face, Ranma, think again!" he scoffed, outwardly confident even as his internal discomfort grew. He knew his rival had to have an angle of some sort if she honestly believed this duel's outcome would be any different than last time, and while he was certain she was absolutely wrong in her assessments he knew from bitter experience that it wasn't wise to underestimate Ranma and the often embarrassing lengths she'd go to win.

For her part, Ranma-chan laughed arrogantly in response and placed her hands on her hips. "Ha! If you're so worried about falling for a pretty face it's no wonder you've been spending so much time with Akane! No chance of that happening with that uncute tomboy!" Seeing the Lost Boy bristle at the insult, the Saotome School's heir smiled widely and she continued the taunting. After all, there was nothing like a few good gibes to keep Ryouga from thinking clearly, and the more advantages she had in this battle the better. "What kept ya, anyway, P-chan? Overrated powers of flight not up to par? I mean, I go through the trouble of getting an entire empty ward for the two of us and you keep me waiting for over twenty minutes! Sheesh, _I_ could do better on _foot_."

"You'll be lucky if you go anywhere on foot after I'm done with you, Ranma," Ryouga growled angrily, clenching a fist. "I went light on you last time because it's not honorable to pick on those _weaker_ than you, but I can see that you clearly didn't learn your lesson. And since you've so _conveniently_ emptied out the whole ward I'll be sure not to hold back on your account!" His furious frown lessened slightly as a puzzling thought came to him.

"Speaking of which, how did you empty out Bunkyō?" Ryouga asked, curious despite himself and shooting his rival a questioning look.

The redhead rolled her eyes and sighed. "Ryouga, you idiot! This is Shinagawa! Bunkyō is a couple wards north of here! As for _how_ I did it..." She shrugged unconcernedly. "Ask Nabiki if ya really want to know. She's the one who pulled this off, and I didn't feel like inquirin' about her methods. I'm sure that no matter what she did, she'll demand a share of my soul or a small fortune for it later."

000ooo000000ooo000

From the deck of the Japanese warship he served on, Lieutenant Hayashi Ishida examined the still waters of Tokyo Bay solemnly through a pair of binoculars, eyes searching for even the slightest of disturbances. Impatience warred with relief on his face at the unchanged situation, the soldier's normally easygoing attitude subdued by the seriousness of the Maritime Self-Defense Forces' mission today.

The sound of a familiar pair of footsteps approaching from behind caught his attention, and the grim Ishida took a quick respite from his vigil to give his friend Ensign Komatsu Arata a cursory nod as the younger and slightly shorter man came to stand beside him at the ship's railing. "Any news to report from the rest of the fleet?" he inquired anxiously, lifting his binoculars to his green eyes again to resume his scan.

Arata shook his head in the negative. "No sir, the situation is unchanged. Neither the main fleet nor the reconnaissance ships have reported anything out of the ordinary, and our satellites aren't picking up anything unusual either." He followed his superior's gaze across the water for a moment and then spoke up again, uncertainty in his voice. "Permission to speak freely, sir?"

"Go ahead, Ensign," Ishida replied casually, wondering what his fellow officer had to say. If he had a strong opinion about something, Arata usually waited till he was off-duty to speak about it.

"It's just...do you really think this is the best response, sir?" the junior officer asked, making a vague, expansive gesture with his left hand to indicate their ship and the surrounding fleet. "We evacuated all the wards bordering Tokyo Bay and mobilized an entire armada because of _one_ warning that hasn't been independently confirmed yet? I mean, I understand why the higher-ups are taking this so seriously, but doesn't this seem a little excessive to you?"

"Perhaps it is, Arata, but it's better to be wrong and risk ridicule than be right and risk lives in this situation," the lieutenant answered gravely, rotating his head to view more of the ocean. "Much as I hate to admit it, even with all the cautionary measures we've taken if we're called into action we'll be lucky if we're able to buy the Ground Forces enough time to get everyone in Tokyo to the shelters. It's difficult to overstate the danger we could be facing soon, and I fully support the decision of our superiors. At best, nothing happens, we tell Tokyo this was a drill, and we all go home in one piece. At worst...at worst, we do our duty and protect the homeland."

Ishida lowered his binoculars again and sighed, feeling older than he actually was as he turned to face his friend. "Besides, much as I'd love for this to be a fluke, the information we received came from professionals. They wouldn't sound a warning unless they were certain of their data or wanted to play a joke, and what force on earth could possibly compel G-Force to make a prank call about _Godzilla_?"

000ooo000000ooo000

"You...asked Nabiki for a favor?" Ryouga summarized incredulously, eyes widening in surprise. "And you call _me_ an idiot?" He shook his head once and laughed derisively. "Not that I'm interested in helping you, but I could have easily flown both of us to some remote place where we wouldn't have to worry about people getting in the way."

Ranma-chan 'tsked' disparagingly. "Oh? And how, pray tell, would I get back after I've treated ya to several different degrees of unconsciousness? I don't need _your_ help for anything, P-chan." She crossed her arms over her chest and looked at him scrutinizingly. "So, are ya ready to do this or do you want to stand around and gawk some more?"

The Lost Boy narrowed his brown eyes menacingly. "You sound awfully confident for someone who couldn't even defend themselves less than two weeks ago, Ranma. Still, if you're so eager to be thrashed again then go ahead and make your move. _Ladies_ first and all."

Ranma-chan's grin became positively vicious at those words. "Oh, you don't know how I was _hoping_ you'd say that, P-chan. Now, watch closely 'cause I'm only going to do this once." The cursed martial artist's hands went to the thin chain around her neck and pulled out the pendant that had been hidden underneath her shirt. Less than a second after that, she was holding the ruby amulet in front of her. For just a moment, the red jewel caught the sun's rays and glittered surreally in the afternoon light. And then the redhead spoke the incantation she'd been both anticipating and dreading.

"Saotome School of Anything Goes Martial Arts Mystic Technique! Magical Mutation!"

At the sudden flash of white light, Ryouga instinctively brought his arms up into a defensive stance and summoned his ki to retaliate. However, the expected attack never came, and any thoughts of a counteroffensive fled as the Lost Boy watched in amazement as seven differently colored rays emerged from Ranma-chan's pendant and enveloped his rival. Glittering and brilliant, the colors wrapped themselves into a spinning prismatic cocoon around the cursed Saotome which promptly levitated several inches off the ground. And then there was-

"Where...is that music coming from?" the brown-eyed youth asked uneasily, shooting apprehensive looks over both shoulders in search of the origin of the incredibly peppy and vivacious musical theme that was playing from seemingly everywhere and nowhere simultaneously. Of all the things he'd expected, Ranma-chan being swallowed by a coruscating tornado to the accompaniment of an invisible orchestra hadn't been in his top ten list. Top one hundred maybe, but certainly not the top ten! The situation became even more bizarre as somehow the colorful column surrounding his rival took on a harder, almost ribbon-like sheen and narrowed at the bottom, shrinking around Ranma-chan's legs and then dissolving into a..._pair of knee-length violet leather boots with ridiculously high heels?_

Ryouga did a double-take, incredulous, but the sight facing him became even more ludicrous as the sparkling whirlwind traveled up more of the redhead's body, leaving behind an indigo skirt so short even Shampoo might have raised an eyebrow, a blue sash snugly tracing Ranma-chan's waist, and a sleeveless, skintight green shirt that left _little_ to the imagination. A yellow choker and shoulder trim soon followed, as well as a pair of orange, elbow-length gloves. The sudden growth spurt of Ranma-chan's red hair as it flowed down to her waist almost seemed mundane compared to what had preceded it and the glowing rainbow crest that inexplicably materialized on her forehead and...were those _butterfly wings_?

Rubbing his eyes in disbelief, the Lost Boy could only stare dumbfounded as his transformed rival dropped from the air and landed gracefully with one knee on the ground. When she looked up to meet his gaze, it was with irises whose blue hue had been replaced with seven concentric bands, each matching a color of the rainbow. Wearing a grin that was equal parts perky and ferocious, the heir to the Saotome School pointed at him theatrically with her left hand and then twirled herself upright.

"I am Razzle Dazzle Ranko, the Magical Girl of Valor!" Ranma-chan announced melodramatically, completing her spin with the previously bent knee raised to waist level and the elbow of the extended arm resting in the palm of her right hand. "And in the name of all that is righteous under the rainbow-" Using her boot to pivot to the side, she folded her arms in front of her and planted her other foot on the ground, turning her head to gaze at her rival sternly as she wagged a finger at him. "-I will punish you!"

Dead silence greeted Ranma-chan's proclamation as Ryouga gazed at her in a frozen stupor, not even blinking as his mind slowly processed the absurdity he had just witnessed. Across from him the Saotome heir continued to hold her reproving pose, but as the seconds passed with no response from the Lost Boy her austere poise slowly cracked and her left eye started to twitch in irritation. It wouldn't be much of a victory if she won by shocking Ryouga into catatonia, but since Pretty Magical Girl Martial Arts was fundamentally a reactionary style she was stuck in this position until Ryouga did something. And since _she_ was the one in the embarrassingly short skirt she was certain this silence was far more uncomfortable for her than for him.

Fortunately for the colorfully costumed redhead, Ryouga's stoicism was short-lived. Rapid blinking was the first sign the Lost Boy gave of beginning to reorient himself, quickly followed by the quivering of his entire body. The teenager instinctively moved to clutch his sides with his arms, but the shaking only grew until he felt like he was going to explode. Finally, unable to hold back any longer, the Eternal Wanderer threw his head back and laughed uproariously, tears streaming down his face as the weight of his mirth sent him tumbling to his knees.

"Bwhahaha! Ranma, I -gwhaha- can't believe you!" the powerful martial artist snickered, chuckling so hard that his insides felt like Frieza was using them for target practice again. "Heehee, not even in my _wildest_ dreams did I think you -gwhahahaha!- would...I mean, Magical Girl Ranko? Bwhahaha! I suppose -wheeze- that I shouldn't be surprised about the -haha- skirt, considering you _are_ a habitual cross-dresser, but...the eyes, hair, and speeches? Oh man, I haven't seen anything this funny since getting lost in the Muppet Theater! Heck, even your legs look longer!"

"That's only an optical illusion!" Ranma-chan retorted in annoyance, clearly not amused by Ryouga's ridicule as she snapped out of her pose and glared down at her chortling rival. "Anyway, laugh it up while you _can_, P-chan! I can guarantee ya that your good humor won't last long," she promised, voice laced with confidence. "I may lose my pride, but I won't lose to you again!" The magical girl leapt high into the air and aimed a drill kick at the bandana-clad martial artist, boots glowing with a whirling violet aura as she descended at an angle that did the impossible feat of preserving her modesty despite the short skirt. "Ryouga, prepare to die!"

_That_ got the Lost Boy's attention, and he jumped back to his feet in anger. "Damn it, Ranma, I've told you before, stop stealing my li-OOMPH!" Time slowed down for the Lost Boy as he looked at the arm he'd raised to block Ranma-chan's kick, the transformed redhead already in mid-backflip springing away from him. To his immense surprise, two red bruises were forming where the heels had connected, and the attack had actually..._stung_.

Growling, Ryouga lashed out in fury at his airborne rival, other arm blurring as he swung it at her. Impossibly, Ranma-chan contorted around the lightning-fast arm sweep at the last possible hundredth of a second, the sideways strike doing nothing more than transforming her elegant flip into an uncoordinated landing with the result of her laying sprawled on the ground, graceless but unharmed and smirking.

"Heh, a little slow there, weren't ya P-chan?" the redhead crowed from the pavement, sounding completely relaxed despite the close call and her awkward position. In response, Ryouga glowered down at her and took a deep breath. As he exhaled, a smoldering aura of viridian fire sprang up around his form and he slammed his left fist into the palm of his right hand in front of him. The menacing expression that appeared on his face was so severe it could have cracked mirrors.

"Feh, leave it to you to resort to something as dishonorable as magic tricks to try to defeat me, Ranma, but don't get cocky yet," the Lost Boy retorted as he locked his hands together and raised them above his head. "Because I'm just-" Moving at speeds impossible for a normal human to follow, he slammed his joined fists downward. "-GETTING STARTED!"

**SMASH!**

The concrete road cracked and split where Ryouga's glowing fists slammed into it, the force of the blow gouging out a small crater five yards in diameter. Even before the attack landed, though, Ranma-chan was already frantically rolling out of the way, staying barely a second ahead of the growing pit...a second the Lost Boy was unwilling to give her. In a green flash, he reappeared in front of her and swung his left leg forward, intending to slam his foot into her chest. The redhead responded with a desperate handstand, channeling the momentum of her roll into her left hand to push herself off the collapsing street, somersaulting once in the air, and then landing in a bow on her opponent's upraised leg. Face to face with him, she smiled coyly.

"Magic tricks? Heh, just goes to show how little ya truly know about martial arts, P-chan!" she teased. "You might not be able to grasp the higher concepts at work here, but against the power of my soul-"

"Oh shut up!" Ryouga interrupted, unimpressed. And then, with his rival still perched irritatingly on his leg, he soared 500 yards straight up! The cocky grin on Ranma-chan's face instantly vanished as the brown-eyed warrior flew in a tight vertical circle at the climax of his aerial climb, sending her sliding off his leg and setting her up perfectly for a harsh collision with his fists as he completed his circuit and aimed straight for her. Instead of doing something as sensible as raising her arms to block the incoming attack, though, the talented martial artist simply gawked in terror at her opponent and made frantic warding motions. The Lost Boy was tempted to laugh at his rival's ineptitude but-

_**WHOOSH!**_

"Eep!"

-somehow those silly warding motions worked!

Scowling, the Eternal Wanderer screeched to a halt in mid-air and turned to face Ranma-chan, the brightly clad martial artist spinning like a top from the momentum of his near miss. One of her gloved hands now covered her eyes while the other held her skirt down, and the redhead's shrill yelling as she fell assaulted his hearing like nails on a chalkboard. Ryouga had no idea how she'd managed to dodge him, but at the moment he wanted nothing more than to silence her screaming...so he did.

_**WHOOSH!**_

"Eek!"

Or at least he tried to.

"Damn it, Ranma, stand still like a man when I try to hit you!" Ryouga shouted in frustration as he passed his rival in mid-air again, Ranma-chan having managed to somehow gracelessly squirm out of his way. For her part, the redhead stopped her screeching just long enough to answer him.

"Heh, how am I supposed to stand still when I'm in free fall and hit terminal velocity two seconds ago? Use ya brain, P-chan, if going gaga over Akane hasn't turned it to mush yet!" she taunted as she tumbled and twisted through the sky, uncovering her eyes so she could face him and smirk superiorly. This confidence lasted for all of a second before she looked down and promptly resumed her panicked act.

"EEEEEEK!"

"RANMA!"

_**WHOOSH!**_

"Eep!"

_**WHOOSH!**_

"Ack!"

_**WHOOSH!**_

"Eek!"

Roaring, Ryouga became a green comet as he raced at his rival again and again and again, leaving a trail of ki behind him as the force of his repeated passings sent the equally colorful Ranma-chan stumbling and spinning in every which direction. Had anyone other than a prudently hiding Shogi been around they would have been treated to the unusual sight of a seemingly angry viridian ray circling around and past a rainbow speck for several seconds.

_**WHOOSH! WHOOSH! WHOOSH!**_

"EEEEEEP!"

At least until the two passed below the view of the cityscape and came within a few dozen yards of the ground again. Probability of an imminent painful collision giving her pause for thought, Ranma-chan placed a finger on her chin. Now what was the incantation for dealing with falls from potentially lethal heights? She didn't have a clue, but that wouldn't stop her from making one up on the spot!

"Razzle Dazzle Rainbow Rescue! Please?"

Immediately, the prismatic wings of her transformation reappeared and spread out behind her, halting her calamitous plunge. A second later, the butterfly pennons wrapped around her protectively and then, collectively with their owner, gently descended to the ground. As the ephemeral wings faded Ranma-chan placed her hands on her waist and gazed up righteously at her surprised opponent.

"No matter how strong your violent power becomes, vagabond, it will never be enough to triumph over the forces of valor and honor!" The rainbow-eyed youth took a step back and pointed dramatically at her still aerial rival, tresses of her long red hair gently blowing in a well-timed breeze. "Surrender now or prepare to be punished! You will never succeed in your evil quest!"

Ryouga's shock quickly gave way to outright bewilderment. "Uh? Evil quest? _Vagabond_? Ranma...what _the heck_ has gotten into you? You're making less sense than Kuno!"

Ranma-chan shrugged cutely, making the Lost Boy feel even more perturbed. "Heh heh heh, as long as I'm winning who cares? Now-!" The martial artist set her right leg behind her and leaned back into a defensive combat stance. "-are ya here to fight or talk? I'm just getting _warmed up_ myself so I hope this isn't all you've got!"

"All I've got?" Ryouga scoffed loudly, slowly floating down the few yards that still separated him from the concrete till his feet touched the earth again. "You're not winning yet, Ranma, so don't get ahead of yourself! I don't know how you're dodging my attacks, but you're not the only one who has a few tricks up his sleeve!" Glowering, the Lost Boy placed his hands in front of his chest and pressed his thumbs and index fingers together to form a triangle. "Tri-Form!"

It was Ranma-chan's turn to be surprised as two identical Ryouga's suddenly shot out of the Lost Boy's left and right sides and, the three acting as one, assumed matching stances a few paces from each other. She looked at each in turn, meeting their hostile gazes, and then chuckled uneasily as she took a cautious step backward. "Heh heh, uh, three against one? That doesn't sound fair to me so how 'bout you reconsider this, neh Ryouga?"

"Not-" the Ryouga on the left said, disappearing and then reappearing several yards to the redhead's side.

"A-" the Ryouga on the right continued, vanishing and then reappearing several yards to his opponent's other side.

"Chance," the Ryouga in the center finished grimly, raising his fists in preparation. And then, acting on some unspoken cue, the triad of warriors simultaneously launched themselves at their shared rival, the air shrieking in protest at their speed. The first one to reach Ranma-chan threw a simple punch at her head which she desperately leaned back under. The second wanderer bent down into a sweeping kick to knock her off her feet, but since the redhead was already falling down she converted her descent into a backflip. Her legs left the ground just in time to avoid the strike, and she twisted around the first Ryouga's follow-up jab as the third Lost Boy entered the fray with a downward thrust of his left elbow. Ranma-chan's eyes widened and her concentration was almost palpable as she narrowly twisted out of the way, Ryouga's attack coming close enough to brush against the material of her uniform. A tenth of a second later her feet touched the concrete again, and with characteristic magical girl gracelessness she tripped around the uppercut the second Ryouga aimed at her.

For a moment, all four fighters seemed to freeze in place as time slowed down around them, the weight of the world bearing down on this single second in time and space. And then, the instant passed and everything became a frenetic blur. Ranma-chan frantically ducked and weaved around the legion of arms, legs, fists, knees, and elbows coming at her from all directions, going beyond inelegance and into desperation as the myriad assaults came closer and closer to striking her. A distant part of her mind that wasn't consumed by the overwhelming need to dodge noted that her trinity of opponents were actually slower than the single Ryouga had been in the air, but that did her little good at the moment. One-third of ridiculous inhuman speed that she couldn't follow was still ridiculous inhuman speed she couldn't follow. Only her soul's innate self-preservation instincts were allowing her to keep up her frenzied evasions, but the Master's training had focused on single combat. The triplicated Lost Boy's offensive might become more than she could defend against unless she-

Ryouga's fist interrupted the redhead's train of thought as it clipped her shoulder, eliciting a grunt of pain and breaking her excessively extemporaneous guard. That was the only cue the other two wanderers needed and, the three grinning savagely, they proceeded to make the next second a living agony for her. Ranma-chan had been hit by Ryouga before and knew how much it could hurt, but that was nothing compared to what she felt as fist, foot, and another fist slammed into her chest, legs, and side, respectively. Had his multiplying technique also not reduced his strength the young martial artist was certain the Lost Boys' strikes would have literally torn right through her. As is, even her soul-infused body felt like bones might break if another hit landed. She needed to stop this and stop it now, and fortunately for Ranma-chan necessity truly was the mother of invention where her mind was concerned and the Master had taught her how to deal with this very situation.

As any magical girl faced with rapidly approaching death would do, Ranma-chan closed her eyes against the incoming terror of Ryouga's follow-up attacks, a mute scream of horror on her lips as the end came near. With the sight of the outside world blocked and her mind and soul united by sheer panic, the redhead then proceeded to fall back on her training and spouted the first hastily devised incantation she could come up with.

"Razzle Dazzle Rainbow Rupture!"

Though nearly unintelligible from the sheer speed it was blurted out with, the impromptu invocation did the trick. Fists so close their tiny hairs brushed against Ranma-chan's clothing, the three Ryouga's didn't even have time to widen their eyes in shock as a bright rainbow-hued dome burst forth from their target's body and violently repelled them. Two of the Lost Boys were sent crashing into buildings on either side of the street by the force of the swiftly expanding half-globe. The third hurtled backwards through the air down the intersection, smashing into the pavement an instant later as the soul explosion completed its detonation and Ranma-chan collapsed onto the concrete, breathing heavily and wincing.

"Unn..._so_ not fair, P-chan!" the long-haired fighter groaned, taking a moment to recover herself and gently massaging her body where the Lost Boy's strikes had hit. "Do ya really think anyone'll be impressed when they -wheeze- hear that you ganged up on a cute widdle girl like me three ta one? Feh!" she mocked in between labored gasps, falling back on one area she knew she had a clear advantage over the Lost Boy in. "You're...ungh, always going on 'bout fighting like a man, so why don't ya try livin up to your words for a change? Unless you're -pant- _afraid_ that I'm too much for ya to handle one-on-one, eh Ryouga?"

The Ryouga that had crashed into the pavement in front of her sat up and rubbed his left fist delicately, grunting once. That colorful burst had _hurt_...not that he'd tell his opponent that fact. "Afraid, Ranma? Don't make me laugh again!" He rose to his feet in one swift motion and glared at his longtime rival. "And if you want to fight mano-a-mano or-" The black-haired youth's lips curled upwards in a condescending smirk as he raised his arms out to his sides. "-mano-a-sissy-magical-girl in your case, _fine_! You'll find it's a mistake to underestimate Hibiki Ryouga!"

The other two Ryougas suddenly surged out of the buildings they'd smashed into and flew towards the Ryouga who'd been speaking. And then...Ranma-chan winced, this time not from pain but rather from the queasiness abruptly forming in her stomach as she watched the three Lost Boys merge back into one. That...was a rather unsettling sight.

"And now..." the reunited and whole Eternal Wanderer proclaimed gravely as his arms shot out in front of him, palms forward. "It is time-" Two green globes of ki appeared in front of his hands, each over a yard in diameter. "-for you to DIE!"

**SSSSHBLAMM!-SSSSHBLAMM!**

Ranma-chan almost sighed from boredom as the two ki blasts roared towards and past her, an unrealistic adjustment of her position on the ground by a millimeter implausibly enabling her to dodge the double projectile attack. Ignoring the aches and pains as she slowly rose to her feet, the rainbow-eyed Saotome folded her arms over her chest and shook her head disparagingly. Her long hair and skirt fluttered dramatically in the sudden rush created by the spectacular explosion and total annihilation of the unfortunately placed buildings at the end of the street behind her as they took the attacks meant for her.

"Honestly, P-chan, you're disappointing me," the redhead remarked, tone almost a whine. "I train for over a _week_ in an incredibly esoteric style to defeat you, and a double ki blast and lame cloning technique are all you show me in response? Feh, I probably could have left after the second day if-"

**SSSSHBLAMM!-SSSSHBLAMM!-SSSSHBLAMM!-SSSSHBLAMM!**

"...oh," Ranma-chan finished lamely, covering her ears as virtually the entire block behind her took a trip to the Next Dimension. She glanced backwards briefly, just in time to clumsily dodge the storm of debris that was for no apparent reason also on fire soaring towards her. Gulping nervously, she slowly turned away from the scene of destruction that greeted her and locked gazes with Ryouga again. His hands, much to her unease, were still glowing. "Heh heh, well, I suppose a ki _salvo_ is slightly more impressive. Um...any chance you can't keep the chain up for more than a few seconds?"

"Nope," Ryouga answered smugly, narrowing his eyes as he focused on his opponent and proving his words a moment later by pumping his hands back and forth and releasing a volley of green ki projectiles.

**SSSSHBLAMM!-SSSSHBLAMM!-SSSSHBLAMM!-SSSSHBLAMM!-SSSSHBLAMM!-SSSSHBLAMM!-SSSSHBLAMM!-SSSSHBLAMM!**

Abandoning all pretenses of disdain, the aquatransexual ran for all she was worth with the Lost Boy's unremitting salvo hot on her incredibly high heels. Within seconds the street had become little more than a pockmarked field of ruined pavement as she twisted, tumbled, and for a few seconds frantically crawled backwards to avoid the ki blasts, the green projectiles coming so close at times that they singed her violet boots. The buildings ringing the intersection were the next victims of the Eternal Wanderer's assault as the redhead alternately dashed past and leapt off them, arms waving in panic all the while as the ki blasts and their subsequent explosions sent her flying spread-eagled through the air. Soon the battlefield was littered with so much dust, debris, and smoke (again for no apparent reason) that Ranma-chan couldn't see more than a few feet in front of her and, a lull in the barrage finally occurring, she frenetically looked back and forth to try to determine where Ryouga's next attack would come from.

"Die!"

Unfortunately, she didn't look up.

In a moment that couldn't have been staged better even with choreography, the dust-choked air around Ranma-chan cleared just in time to reveal the floating form of Ryouga 100 yards above the ground. Hands raised above his head and supporting a viridian globe of ki larger than the entire Tendo compound, the Lost Boy's brown eyes smoldered with anger as he glowered down at the cursed Saotome. Their eyes met for a pregnant instant, and then Ryouga brought his arms down with a roar, enormous ki projectile following and hurtling towards the ground where Ranma-chan stood transfixed, watching as the sphere grew larger and larger as it came closer. It was then that her common sense finally broke through for the first time that fight, and she slapped her forehead incredulously.

"Why the heck am I standing still when there's a giant orb of death heading straight at me?" she wondered disbelievingly, still not running for dear life as the magical girl inclination for monologuing kicked in and combined with the related penchant for petrification in the face of clear and possibly unavoidable doom. "This is a perfect situation for the Saotome School of Anything Goes Martial Arts Secret Techni-"

**Ka-DOOOOOOOM!**

Ryouga watched solemnly from above as his energy attack sank into the ground and detonated, bathing the world in green as the force of the explosion spread out across the neighborhood and demolished everything in its path for over seventy meters in every direction. The Tokyo Metropolitan Government probably wouldn't be happy about the huge crater now scarring Shinagawa Ward, he thought idly, but it wasn't like they could find him even if they wanted to. Besides, this was all Ranma's fault anyway. He would have been perfectly happy to kick his butt out in the middle of nowhere, but _no!_ That two-timing jerk was so arrogant and inconsiderate enough to demand a rematch in the middle of the city. Had his rival even spared a thought about the practically inevitable astronomical property damage that would result? Honestly, he hadn't seen such thoughtlessness for the surroundings in a battle since Frieza!

The Lost Boy shuddered at that memory and thanked his lucky stars that the chances of this duel escalating into a conflict where the fate of the universe was at stake were a million-to-one.(1) The biggest thing he had to worry about during this fight was simply finding the proper balance between releasing enough ki to overcome Ranma's _ridiculous_ new fighting style but not so much that he destroyed all of Tokyo and killed his rival in the process...though he could always use that transdimensional communicator Bulma made for him and ask his Z-Fighter friends to wish him back to life if it came to that-

"Feh, don't be an idiot Ryouga," the brown-eyed wanderer reprimanded himself harshly, watching as the debris cloud below slowly settled from his attack. "Death is death and should never be regarded lightly, even _if_ you can use magic to undo it. That kind of thinking is how monsters are made. Besides, I don't think Bulma was joking about the long distance calling charges." Sighing, he closed his eyes and concentrated on his rival's ki. It was still a mystery to him how such a weak power level was proving so annoyingly formidable, but judging from how faint her lifeforce was now it seemed like that energy blast had done the trick. All that was left to do now was to dig her out of the rubble and finish her off.

With that thought in mind, the Lost Boy grabbed his wrist with his right hand and jabbed his left arm out with the palm slanted diagonally and emitted an invisible wave of force downward, blowing away the last of the dust, dirt, and debris that clogged the air. Path now clear, the powerful fighter descended to the crater's epicenter where he sensed his rival. Within seconds his feet were touching the littered ground, and he walked purposefully towards a large pile of wrecked pavement under which a pair of violet heels stuck out.

"Had enough yet, Ranma?" Ryouga gloated, tossing the shattered remains of the street aside with casual ease as he worked to unbury his rival. "That was just a small _fraction_ of my power, so don't get cocky just because you survived it. I can and will do _much_ worse if you force me to, so how about you just give up and yield now?" He removed the last cracked slab of pavement and raised an eyebrow in slight surprise at the sight that greeted him. Ranma-chan was battered and bruised and looked like she was barely clinging to consciousness, which he'd expected...but her silly outfit was completely intact! There wasn't even a single tear in her skirt! Granted, that was good for him since it would be embarrassing to lose the fight now from massive blood loss, but that didn't make it any less absurd.

For her part, the transformed redhead looked up at him blearily and, with monstrous effort, sat up over the groans and protests of her own body. Everything hurt, her head was spinning so hard she could barely focus, and while she could feel her soul's restorative energies already spreading across her body she knew she needed at least several moments to recuperate enough to be in fighting condition again. If she was going to turn this battle around she needed to stall, and if she was going to stall...well, she'd already monologued so that left the Master's Seishinnyo Hikanrui special technique again! Admittedly, it was aiming low but it was blatantly apparent to the Saotome heir that if she wanted to win she was going to have to capitalize on all of Ryouga's weaknesses. And as the saying goes, all's fair in love and war!

...Man, she certainly was glad that the Master wasn't here to put innuendo on _that_ particular train of thought!

"You're -cough- right, Ryouga, _so_ right it hurts," Ranma-chan lied, uncharacteristic despair and hopelessness creeping into her voice. She held up a hand to her head and sighed haggardly. "I sensed your power last time we fought, and I should'a known...ungh, better than to think I could ever match it with just a week's worth of -hack- training, and now...I've made a fool of myself!"

The young Saotome closed her rainbow eyes and scrunched up her face in frustration, pain, and sorrow. "It's just...it's just not fair! I -cough- did everything I could to become better, even became a magical girl, all so I could _beat_ you and it's still _not enough_!" She slammed her left fist down angrily and bent over, shoulders shaking tremulously. "Not fair at all!"

The mocking expression slowly slipped from Ryouga's features as he took in his rival's nearly hysteric tone and emotional words. Chest heaving from exhaustion and hunched over her knees like that...Ranma-chan looked like she was on the brink of physical and mental collapse, and while that's what the Lost Boy had been aiming for now that he'd achieved it...Even with his knowledge of Ranma-chan's Jusenkyo curse, he didn't feel right standing over the figure of a distraught girl like this.

"Er..." he offered hesitantly, not sure what to say and equally unsure what to do next. "But, uh, you-did-really-well! Even I was surprised, and you even bruised me a bit! Considering I can destroy this entire planet, that's something to be proud of, right?"

"Not...enough, not...fair," Ranma-chan repeated hopelessly, sniffling. Despondently, the talented martial artist lifted her head and opened her eyes. As she met Ryouga's uncertain gaze, a single perfect, beautiful glistening tear welled up in her left eye and slowly trailed down her face, burdened by the awful weight of a purehearted soul consumed by grief. "I...suppose I should -cough- give...give up now, eh?"

Ryouga's eyes widened in surprise, and his left hand went to scratch the back of his neck nervously. This entire situation was making him feel uneasy, and he'd never seen his rival cry like _that_ before. Just seeing that tear made him feel awful enough to perform a Perfect ShiShiHoukoudan on the spot! "What? You mean it?"

Ranma-chan answered his question with a forlorn sigh and an unhappy frown...an unhappy frown that transformed into a monstrously vicious smirk a tenth of a second later. "Not a chance, sucker!" As the Lost Boy gawked at the sudden 180 degree shift and reeled from the devastating power of the Saotome heir's combined Seishinnyo Hikanrui and Maken Dōkoku Ha techniques, the redhead lifted her left hand to frame her left eye between two fingers. "Try this on for size! MIKURU BEAM!"(2)

**_ZSHAZSHSHZSHAAAAAAAAAAAM! _**

000ooo000000ooo000

Within her interdimensional sanctuary, Jadeite's master glanced away from the gaping hole in the fabric of reality that caressed her chilled soul and turned to gaze at a tiny speck of light within the sea of stars that surrounded her. By an unspoken command, the small sphere drew nearer until it was recognizable as the blue and green planet she'd most recently consigned to destruction. The cloaked woman regarded the little world for a moment, probing it with her vast awareness, and then nodded her head almost imperceptibly as her scans confirmed what she'd just sensed. Two powerful auras now battled each other on the Earth-variant's surface, and while both still paled before her might the levels of energy being released were far from inconsequential. With a little more time, it might even be enough to force open the Gateway to Oblivion.

That thought brought a small quirk to the dark mistress's perfectly shaped lips, and she looked at her target with new interest from within the shadows of her ebon hood. In the nihilistic crusader's mind, few things were more beautiful than worlds teeming with life in their last moments as the Void washed over and devoured them, cleansing the multiverse of their cumbersome existence and leaving only deathly silence in its wake. Waiting was a small price to pay to witness such a breathtaking event, but now thanks to this convenient opportunity she would need to test her patience no longer.

With a thought, Jadeite's ancient sovereign communicated her intentions to him and reached for her equally ancient staff. It was time to travel to this world and personally usher in its final act. The two embattled souls that had caught her attention would surely try to interfere, of course, but their world's fate had been decided the second she'd chosen it from among the incalculable others of its kind. Nothing could stop the end from coming now, and the only true question that remained was whether the coming battle would actually be worth her personal effort.

Left hand firmly gripping her metallic staff between the two orbs built into its shaft, the dark harbinger gently tapped its bottom on the transparent circle she knelt on. A second later ripples spread across the surface of the pellucid disk, with the image of Earth replacing the countless stars in the now liquid floor. Slowly, the cloaked woman sank into the vision, perfectly still and silent in her descent until, finally, she, the weapon she wielded, and the sight of the blue and green planet vanished altogether, leaving nothing behind but silence...and the dark, hungry maw that if its disciple had her way would soon have a whole world to feast on.

000ooo000000ooo000

Mouth hanging open in disbelief, Ranma-chan gaped at the fifty-plus meter long trench her attack had just carved into the crater's side. The Master had warned her that the Mikuru Beam was powerful, but considering how just about every other insanely potent attack that pink-eyed demon had taught her required either a minute of verbal build-up or a protracted series of acrobatics she hadn't expected it to be _this_ powerful. Even now, over a minute later, the scar the devastating soul beam had channeled into the earth was still smoking, and there was a massive cloud of debris swirling where it had finally stopped. The sight _almost_ made her worry about Ryouga, but the Lost Boy was tough and could survive a death ray at point blank range...right?

A dozen long, overly dramatic seconds followed as Ranma-chan carefully stood back up and cupped a hand to her right ear to listen. Other than the sizzling of the trench and the shifting of rubble, there was only silence as the dust cloud slowly settled. Sighing impatiently, she raised her arms above her head and stretched, the movement evincing a wince on her part. Apparently brief respites weren't quite as effective as a full-blown commercial break for staging miraculous recoveries, the redhead thought ruefully as she watched the ominously descending haze of debris. Still, the mere fact that she could stand without seeing double was an improvement over a minute ago, and if this unnecessary build-up was any indication Ryouga probably wasn't in good shape either.

Speaking of which...

"Yo P-chan! Hurry it up already! I know you're too _pig_headed to let an apocalyptic beam do ya in, so get back up and fight already!" Ranma-chan shouted disdainfully, shaking her head. "Honestly, ya know it's bad when the _magical girl_ is the one complaining about _time_."

As if the redhead's taunt had been the final straw, a green aura so bright the Saotome heir raised a hand to shield her eyes erupted from within the dust cloud and completely disintegrated it and everything else in its path for over twenty yards in all directions. Then, instead of disappearing, the viridian dome grew brighter and more intense, crackling with power as the ground beneath and around it fractured and shook alarmingly before splintering off and rising into the air alongside it.

"**RAAAAANMAAAA!"**

"Heh, _that's_ the unkillable Ryouga I know and mildly dislike," Ranma-chan chuckled, amused at the relief she felt at hearing his voice despite the rage and desire to commit grievous bodily harm all aimed at her it contained. Her good mood quickly evaporated as another matter made itself known to her, though, and it was in a much less pleased tone that she spoke her next words, eyes twitching. "But could ya tone it down a bit? I don't mind seeing the ground fly up like it's the end of the world, but you're expanding aura is lifting up my skirt too! Pervert!"

For just a moment, the roiling aura almost looked abashed, but the instant quickly passed as Ryouga's anger fueled it to even greater intensity. The earth continued to quake, collapse, and levitate around it and then, more rapidly than a heartbeat, the green cap all at once rushed back to its owner, framing the Lost Boy in a churning silhouette of immense power. A rain of shrapnel ensued as the suspended earth plummeted back to the dismembered ground, but while Ranma-chan ducked frantically around the falling rubble any that approached Ryouga simply disintegrated when it came into contact with his aura. Finally, once everything had settled, the glow surrounding the brown-eyed warrior faded and Ranma-chan got her first clear look at her rival.

Ryouga was breathing heavily and his shirt was completely gone, exposing his heavily singed chest where the Mikuru Beam had struck him. All of that, however, paled in comparison to the fury and hatred marring his expression. Ranma-chan nearly took a step back as his smoldering eyes locked on her, and the scowl that formed on his face was so fierce that even the Master might have thought twice about proceeding further.

"Ranma...that's the last time you'll _ever_ trick me!" Ryouga yelled angrily, clenching his fists. "I've had it with you and your ego! You talk about unfairness? Feh, you don't even know the meaning of the word!" Placing one foot in front of him, the Lost Boy slipped into a preparatory combat stance. "You have a roof over your head, family and friends who are always there for you, and the woman I love as your fiancée, and you don't even appreciate it! Just looking at you and seeing how you take all the precious things in life for granted makes me sick! And since you don't value the good life you have, I won't feel bad shattering your complacency here and now forever!"

"Complacency? No appreciation?" Ranma-chan narrowed her eyes and wagged a finger at the Lost Boy, voice carrying clearly despite the distance that separated them. "Ya don't have a clue what you're talking about, P-chan. Do you think my life has been easy? Constantly on the road with Pops and his idiotic training regimen? The whole reason I put with up Nerima and all its craziness is _because_ this is the first time in memory I've truly had a place I can call home! There's nothing complacent about that, Ryouga, and I've fought so hard for so long so I can keep that and the place I've made for myself here! I've made sacrifices for the art you can't even fathom and-" She raised her arms above her head and twirled once, ending the spin by bringing her arms down in front of her in an x-shape. "-I will not give up, not when so much is on the line! For everything under the rainbow but especially my pride as a martial artist, I will defeat you!"

"You can try, Ranma," Ryouga answered with a growl, raising his right fist above his head. "But you won't...succeed!" Churning aura framing him again, the Lost Boy charged!

"Heh, I think this battle finally has reached the point of dire seriousness..." Ranma-chan remarked, taking a step forward of her own. "Which means I can finally do away with all the silly extras. Pretty Magical Girl Martial Arts, Form Two! Lyrical Nanoha Style!" Each part of her uniform glowing with its own distinct color and momentarily discarding theatrics, the Saotome heir dashed forward!

Leaving a trail of green ki and rainbow sparkles in their wake, the two combatants closed the distance between them so rapidly that if the air could have it would have filed a lawsuit in protest. A hundredth of a second later, Ryouga brought down his glowing fist and aimed it at Ranma-chan's sternum. In response, the redhead raised her own fist to meet it and the two punches collided with each other with a resounding boom. Both ignoring the pain of the impact and acting in perfect unison, each raised a knee to drive into their opponent's stomach but ended up blocking the other with another jarring collision.

Without thought, without strategy, Ranma-chan and Ryouga continued their horrific barrage, punches and kicks flying so quickly that even they couldn't fully follow them despite mirroring each other perfectly. The two fighters had entered the rare zone of duels where all advantages and disadvantages disappear and sheer determination fuels everything. Ranma-chan shouldn't have been able to match Ryouga's superhuman speed and strength, yet she did with every attack. Ryouga shouldn't have been able to overcome Ranma-chan's agility and evasiveness, yet he did with every strike. The two rivals were perfect reflections of each other as they flowed through the latest phase of their battle, but, unfortunately for the redhead, by its very nature this type of fight favored implausible martial arts over energetic magical attacks. With a particularly forceful punch, Ryouga seized the initiative and swung a leg into her side, sending her reeling but not before Ranma-chan converted her lurch into a spin and slammed a fist into the Lost Boy's face. As one the duo staggered backwards, toppling over heavily onto the ground and wheezing from the battle's strain.

Then, still in eerie synchronization, Ranma-chan and Ryouga both struggled back to their feet. Once again their eyes locked, and each knew within their hearts that the battle would be decided in their next exchange. They nodded at each other in shared understanding but there were no smiles, the seriousness of their rivalry having gone beyond loose friendship into an even more nebulous, incomprehensible relationship. With a grunt, Ryouga lifted his hands to his side and cupped them together as a strangely serene breeze gusted outward, gently sweeping the nearby debris back. Simultaneously, Ranma-chan lifted her left knee up to waist level and fell back on her right foot, a violet silhouette enveloping her right hand as she got ready to launch into a pirouette.

"Ka..." A tiny speck of green light materialized between the Lost Boy's cupped hands.

"Razzle..." The redhead twirled, right hand tracing a violet ring of light in the air.

"Me..." The Eternal Wanderer's black hair rose and rustled in an unseen force, the minute sphere of ki in his hands flickering in tune with his heartbeat.

"Dazzle..." The violet ring around the Saotome heir dropped to just below her waist as she completed another twirl and traced an indigo ring, this one also falling and stopping just above its predecessor as she repeated the process, right hand now glowing blue.

"Ha..." The tiny orb suddenly doubled and then quadrupled in size, crackling with the might of a star about to be born.

"Rainbow..." The prismatic-eyed martial artist finished inscribing the colored circles in the air and launched into her final spin, ringed by violet, indigo, blue, green, yellow, orange, and red.

"Me..." The wind around Ryouga died down as the world fell silent, the power of his soon to be unleashed energy wave drowning all else out.

From somewhere far away but still close enough to watch the action, Shogi yawned impatiently and continued counting the extended beyond plausible belief seconds.

"Ray!" Ranma-chan shouted, raised leg returning to the ground as she brought her left arm down to slice through all seven rings. The circles simultaneously exploded an instant later as a rainbow beam surged forth with the rage and might of an ancient titan.

"Ha!" Ryouga finished, bringing his arms forward to launch the green sun that had formed between his hands.

And then..._there was only...Light_.

000ooo000000ooo000

Stepping outside of a market with a bag of groceries in hand, Kasumi looked up as the ground shook slightly. She frowned, worriedly, as she wondered if this was the precursor to a larger earthquake, a concern that only grew as the quaking continued.

"Oh my," the brunette exclaimed, free hand raising to just below her chin in anxiety as the people around her gazed about uneasily, clearly unsettled by the vibrations which seemed to be growing incrementally stronger. "I'd better hurry home to make sure everyone's all right. I wouldn't want them to worry about me."

"Doing so is pointless. This whole world is doomed," a familiar male voice said from behind her.

Despite the dire words, Kasumi found herself smiling in the presence of her unexpected visitor. "That's a pretty pessimistic thing to say, Jadeite. Are you cer-" The brunette halted in mid-speech as she turned to face him, taken aback by the foreboding gray military uniform he now wore. "Oh my! Did you just come from a cosplay?"

The master illusionist blinked at the absurdity of the question and then abruptly sighed. Gently but firmly, he placed his hands on Kasumi's shoulders to hold her in place, puzzlement and uncertainty flashing across his features. Jadeite knew that he was acting impulsively and normally would have despised the _weakness_ currently motivating him, but the simple fact that after ages of apathy he actually cared enough to want to save someone...On the cosmic scale he and his master operated on Kasumi's fate was insignificant and it didn't matter whether she lived or died, but to him it _did_ matter and the ancient general had felt compelled to act ever since receiving his master's message because of that.

"There isn't much time, Kasumi," he warned, the seriousness of his words fully capturing her attention. "This world has less than an hour of life left, and it is beyond anyone's power to save it. It is within my power to rescue you, though, and I don't want to see you perish. You...are unique, so please, come with me before it's too late."

The bag of groceries fell to the asphalt, tonight's dinner suddenly and surprisingly the last thing on the mind of Soun's eldest daughter. "Jadeite..." she spoke, confusion evident in her voice as she gazed up at him nervously. "What are you talking about? I don't understand."

"You're better off not knowing, but believe what I say." Unfamiliar emotions welled up inside Jadeite as he tried to persuade another using the truth instead of lies for a change. "It's just-" For the first time since Kasumi had met him, an expression of fear suddenly crossed the mystic's face as his blue eyes widened and he turned his head to look towards the far-off ocean.

"What...what's the matter?" Kasumi asked worriedly, everything making less sense to her by the second but concerned for her friend nonetheless.

"She's here," Jadeite answered simply. "My Master is here."

000ooo000000ooo000

What little had remained of the neighborhood Ryouga and Ranma-chan had chosen for their showdown was long gone, obliterated by the violent quaking of the earth, the deafening gale force winds, and the mighty torrents of discharged energy crackling through the air as nature itself shrieked in anguished protest at the clash of forces taking place. Light of all colors washed across the battlefield in a nightmarish kaleidoscope as the original crater the two combatants had carved out crumbled and collapsed into an ever widening abyss. Both martial artists had their arms thrown out in front of them, channeling more and more of themselves through the Rainbow Ray and Kamehameha to the epicenter of the collision where the two monstrous blasts crashed and roiled against each other. Their feet dug into the ground as the power they'd unleashed pushed them further and further back and the wind assaulted them, but neither was prepared to give up.

The energy and resolve of a magical girl battled the strength and determination of a martial artist, neither able to gain an advantage over the other. One drew its might from the power of the soul and the other from the power of life, but as any expert of the two genres knows both are ultimately fueled by sheer willpower and the desire to protect what one cares about. Fortunately for the planet Akane was nowhere nearby and not in any danger, but Ranma-chan and Ryouga possessed more stubbornness than any team of mules and were determined not to be defeated, even as the world around them shuddered in agony and more and more of Shinagawa Ward collapsed before their titanic struggle.

Minutes passed, greater destruction and the increasing fury of the combat-fueled tempest the only changes as the two rivals focused entirely on this last, decisive exchange. They did not notice the figure cloaked in black and carrying a long staff striding purposefully towards them and pausing for a second at the abyss's edge to observe them analytically. Nor did they see how, when the earth she'd been standing on a second earlier fractured into the growing crater, the shrouded female form simply remained levitating where previously she'd stood. Then, the woman's ebon figure blurred and vanished, instantly rematerializing at ground zero in front of the colliding energies. Only then, as the figure lifted her staff above her head and the stave began to hum, were Ranma-chan and Ryouga at last alerted to her presence, but by then it was too late.

Unperturbed by the frenzied furor of power sweeping about her, the dark newcomer drove the copper-colored, pronged bottom of her staff into the heart of the storm. There was a thunderous roar as the Rainbow Ray and Kamehameha shifted around the mechanical stave, and almost instantly Ranma-chan and Ryouga felt like the very life was being pulled out of them. Both instinctively released their attacks and collapsed to the ground, panting haggardly, as the storm their struggle had created reached a crescendo. There was one last, violent shudder of the ground greater than any that had preceded it as the wind convulsed and tossed the crater's shattered debris to the sides of the gorge. The two fighters were barely able to resist the gale's pull as a flash of multi-colored light exploded across the abyss as their unknown visitor completed absorbing their attacks. And then, there was only silence.

Ryouga was the first to break the quiet, climbing unsteadily back to his feet and feeling a preternatural shiver of apprehension run up his spine as he focused on the one who'd interrupted his fight. He sensed nothing except an ageless coldness that had nothing to do with ki coming from her, and it sent all of his senses reeling. And judging by the uneasy expression on Ranma-chan's face as she also rose across from him, she felt the same way. "Who...who are you?"

"Who am I?" The voice that came from the shadows of its owner's hood was ancient but not old, the words of one who'd witnessed incalculable eons but was unaffected by the same passage of time. The effect was singularly unsettling, and the two rivals barely had time to recover before the speaker raised her right hand to her cloak's clasp and undid it, tossing aside the obsidian garment to reveal...

One of the most beautiful women Ranma-chan and Ryouga had ever seen, and considering just _who_ they had seen (and in what states of dress and undress to boot) that was saying an awful lot. The female stranger stood at just around five and a half feet with a frame that was simultaneously powerful and lithe, the well-proportioned and eye-pleasing body of an angel of war. A red horseshoe-shaped headband held a lavender veil in place as it streamed down her back, accentuating her lilac-colored, wavy hair and the two thick tresses on opposite sides of her smooth, oval face that reached down to her ample bosom. She wore a short-sleeved black overcoat with jade fringes that left the center of her upper chest and a sizable amount of cleavage exposed, revealing pure, unmarred pale skin. The garment parted below the black belt that encircled her narrow waist, trailing off into two similarly black coattails that almost touched the ground beneath her and showing the jade and aqua form-fitting undersuit that covered her legs and feet. An obsidian choker embedded with two red gems and a pair of elbow length ebon gloves with jade cuffs to which two short lavender scarves were attached completed the outfit, and it was with blue-gray eyes of seemingly limitless depths that the woman turned to regard the two rivals in turn.

"I am the Demon God Ifurita," the immortal weapon of mass destruction announced, setting the circular end of her key staff on the ground as it thrummed with energy ready to be unleashed. "And I bring _Oblivion_ to your world!"

* * *

Author's Notes:

(1) To quote Terry Pratchett, "A million-to-one chance succeeds nine times out of ten."

(2) My words in this story do not do the Mikuru Beam of Suzumiya Haruhi fame justice. Fortunately, there's Youtube which does!

Addendum: Ifurita is one of several androids created for use as weapons from one of my favorite OVA series, El-Hazard – The Magnificent World. One of her unique features is the capability to duplicate (and often improve) any ability she experiences, so between having a multiverse of techniques to choose from and being empowered by entropy she should be more than a match for Magical Girl Ranko and Z-Fighter Ryouga. Besides, a killer android was the next logical step in this illogical series of events. Now if I can just figure out a way to fit a giant mecha in here somewhere...Bwhahahaha!

Heh, seriously though, if you haven't seen El-Hazard – The Magnificent World, I highly recommend it. It's one of the best anime series I've had the pleasure of watching and is also one of the first where the English dub is widely considered superior to the original Japanese vocals. Just...stay away from its sequel TV series, The Alternative World. That show is of Shin Tenchi/Tenchi in Tokyo levels of badness and is just painful to watch.

P.S. Special thanks to those who made guesses about the identity of Jadeite's master. Apparently the mystery didn't set off the speculative frenzy I was hoping for, but it was still nice to know who people suspected. Sailor Pluto was actually a pretty good guess, considering the clues I dropped.

P.P.S. Special thanks to Lathis too. He gave me a little bit of help with this chapter including catching some embarrassing prose errors and offering some much appreciated words of encouragement. The many mistakes and weaknesses that remain are solely my own.


	6. Chapter 5 Part 1

Title: Magical Girl Ranko vs. Z-Fighter Ryouga

Author: Rowan Seven

Teaser: Magical Girl Ranko and Z-Fighter Ryouga vs. Demon God Ifurita. Yes, the fate of the world is at stake and no, I'm not going to change the title.

Disclaimer: Ranma 1/2, Dragonball Z, Sailor Moon, Looney Tunes, El-Hazard, and any other series I mention belong to their respective creators and copyright holders, as do the characters and settings in this story that don't belong to me. I make no claims to any of them and am making no financial profit from writing this story.

Author's Notes: Marked with (#) and posted at the end.

* * *

Chapter 5 Part 1 – The (Almost) Ultimate Showdown of (Not Quite) Ultimate Destiny!

The Void was a dark abyss with no beginning and no end, an ineffable plane of entropy and soul-devouring emptiness. It was a quiet so profound it deafened. It was a cold so intense it burned. It was a hollowness so vast it consumed. The Void should not and could not exist yet did, for just as numbers imply zero so does creation insinuate the _absence_ of creation. The Void was the bane of all life and a blasphemy against existence where all things returned to oblivion. It was terrible...It was monstrous...It was hunger and silence incarnate...

...But to the Demon God Ifurita, it was _beautiful_.

The deadly android was one of several that had been constructed to serve as the ultimate intelligent weapons on a world engulfed by holy war. Possessing indescribable power and the capability to copy virtually any ability used in their presence, Demon Gods were among the greatest and most destructive inventions of the Ancients of El-Hazard and fulfilled the commands of their masters with the ruthless efficiency and obedience only machines were truly capable of...but, at the same time, with tortured souls so burdened that humanity seemed more a curse than a gift for them.

Ifurita's experience had been no different, consigned to an existence of cruel slavery and atrocious combat with an ever growing ocean of blood staining her hands as entire cities perished beneath her terrible might. With nothing but carnage and anguish to look forward to she had longed for nothing more than her own termination and the end of her torment, but she was always too skilled and too powerful to fall in battle and inevitably triumphed in every conflict. She remained active and in the thick of the slaughter until the very last moments of the dreadful war when the Ancients committed their greatest and final folly: activating the orbital battle station known as the Eye of God, a weapon so great and terrible that within seconds it claimed more lives than the rest of the conflict combined. Ifurita's last memory of her home planet was the horrible, unearthly wail as the Eye of God shattered the barriers between worlds and ripped El-Hazard apart with dimensional energy, destroying everything it touched and hurtling the rest into the farthest reaches of time and space...and, in her own case, beyond even that.

How long she floated in the Void not even her sensors could tell her, for time lost all meaning in the abyss's all-consuming depths. Compared to the life of forced obedience and mindless battle she had led before, though, this existence of no purpose, no meaning, and no sensation was paradise. There was nothing for her to do and no one for her to obey, and for the first time that she could remember Ifurita felt at peace. Even as the Void's entropic energies gnawed at her essence and came closer and closer to erasing her from existence, her mind was filled with nothing but a cold, serene tranquility that she'd longed for but always been denied. If this was how death wanted to claim her the Demon God would willingly submit to its final embrace...but her self-preservation directive refused to let her go quietly into that soothing night. Somehow, the ancient technology that comprised her went beyond the capabilities of what even its inventors thought possible and adapted itself to endure in and draw power from the vacuum itself. Despair was the first emotion she experienced over this development, but that sorrow soon faded just as everything else faded in the Void. If she could not have annihilation then at least she could enjoy oblivion, and so Ifurita slept a dreamless sleep surrounded by a silent harmony she adored.

Unfortunately for the multiverse, like all good things the Demon God's peaceful slumber would not last.

Ifurita felt the abrupt dimensional tear like someone would a knife to their throat, this being the first sensation to disturb the hungry abyss since her own arrival in the empty realm. The intruder was a small, unstable vortex that would fizzle out momentarily, but in its few seconds of existence the Demon God was inexorably pulled toward and through its event horizon. The sudden cacophony of swirling light after so long in darkness nearly overwhelmed her synthetic sight even as the fundamental forces of the universe bombarded her mechanical frame with a ferocity that would have annihilated virtually any other creature. When the powerful android at last staggered out of the other end of the gateway she was so battered and disoriented that she immediately collapsed onto the metallic floor of the large chamber she found herself in, a death grip on her key staff as she closed her eyes to block out one of many overloaded senses.

Ifurita remained perfectly still for several moments as she attempted to process the changes around her and waited for her systems to recover from the sluggishness of her long sleep. After so much time in the Void this material plane felt completely alien to her, but Ifurita's A.I. was topnotch and rapidly readjusted itself to the new environment. Within seconds she was processing and analyzing data from her many sensors and soon had the entire facility identified and mapped out. There were several dimensional anomalies housed within the building, twenty-five humanoid life-forms, fifty-seven smaller creatures, and a surprisingly small number of bacteria and microscopic organisms. Clearly, this was a dimensional lab, and judging by the excited chatter her audio receptors were picking up her arrival here was a complete surprise to the researchers.

That her extraction from the Void was seemingly an accident gave the Demon God no comfort. Her sanctuary was lost to her, and it would only be a matter of time before these aliens discovered how to re-enslave her. Sticking her key staff into the slot on her back and winding it up was fairly intuitive once one saw her design, and masterless as she currently was she had no authority to resist them or even to act outside what self-preservation called for. Soon, she would have a new master and there was nothing she could do about it, not unless-

The radical leap the Demon God's programming made surprised her, but she pursued it with a desperation she'd never known before. Her designated master was the one who wound the key staff to recharge her, but she had evolved past that by drawing energy directly from the Void. And since the Void was the source and giver of her power, was it not also her proper master? But it was a plane of existence, not a consciousness. What _desire_ could the Void possibly have that she could fulfill?

_Processing request…Standby._

This question consumed the Demon God as she submitted her warped reasoning to her central processor and waited for a response. Ifurita knew that the safeguards her makers had put in place would never permit her to serve something with no power to command her; otherwise every Demon God with energy absorption capabilities could potentially go renegade. Her master needed to have a clear objective that she could follow, a purpose that set the designated user apart from inanimate matter and bound her to its control. The Void defied neat classification by the simple fact of its reality which meant her strange request might pass the first level of her authorization protocols, but without a mission the strained logic would never be accepted. But the Void was a hollow plane that broke matter down and erased it from existence. Even if it had a consciousness, all it could possibly desire would be...would be...

...the end of all things?

_Request confirmed. New authorized user verified. Current designated master: Void._

Whether it was because of the degradation of her CPU from so much time spent beyond the dimensional pale or the overpowering intensity of the desperation in her artificial heart, the Demon God's unlikely query yielded a positive result. And with that, Ifurita opened her haunting blue-gray eyes, gazed around at the stunned alien faces and large laboratory surrounding her, and for the first time in her entire life _smiled_.

And thus, a monster was born.

000ooo000000ooo000

"I am the Demon God Ifurita, and I bring _Oblivion_ to your world!"

Hibiki Ryouga, Eternally Lost Boy, Wandering Martial Artist, and dimensionally displaced Z-Fighter, sighed dismally and, not for the first time that hour, reflected on what a bad day it was turning out to be. The morning had started out well enough despite a run in with a megazord over North America during a few routine aerial laps around the globe and he'd assumed that the rest of the day would follow suit, but ever since crossing paths with Ranma today things had gone downhill rapidly. His rival had inconceivably managed to top every previous harebrained scheme of hers with this new ludicrous pretty magical girl martial arts style, and what made this particularly irritating was the fact that by some implausible means it was actually halfway effective. Ryouga had trained for over two years in another dimension, faced alien tyrants with the power and callousness to destroy entire planets without a second thought, and been beaten to within an inch of death's door more times than he cared to think about. And yet, despite his mammoth trials and tribulations, Ranma had achieved near parity with him in little over a week and made fools out of them both with this battle. The unfairness of it all made the Lost Boy _furious_, and now to make things even worse the Saotome heir's stubborn refusal to give up had attracted a demon of some sort threatening to destroy the entire world. This was clearly all Ranma's fault and he'd punish his rival later for it and then some, but first things first.

"What do you mean, oblivion?" the brown-eyed youth asked with confusion in his voice, watching the beautiful but otherworldly woman cautiously. "And _who_ are you? I prefer not to fight girls, but if you put the world in danger I won't go easy on you!"

The Demon God's eyes narrowed slightly in response to the Lost Boy's words, and she purposefully twirled her key staff so it stood bottom-side up in her left hand. A second later she turned the stave so the pronged end pointed forward, and almost immediately a monstrous hum emanated from the mechanical device as it crackled with energy. Ranma-chan and Ryouga quickly fell into defensive stances, expecting to have to dodge at any second. What happened next, though, was even worse.

Ifurita placed her free hand on the hilt of the key staff and then jabbed the stave forward with her full strength. For a brief second one could hear the rush of displaced air, but that was quickly drowned out by the more frightening sound of dimensional barriers tearing as the Demon God drove her weapon's pronged end into a single point in space and time and discharged the energy she'd accumulated. There was no earth-shattering explosion of light or noise accompanying the release, but as she pulled her staff back and returned it to an upright position at her side the two martial artists immediately sensed that there was something utterly and incontrovertibly _wrong_ with the world in front of them. Their sharp eyes identified what it was a moment later, and the Z-Fighter and Magical Girl both recoiled at the tiny pinprick of dark..._ineffableness_ Ifurita's weapon had left behind.

"Thirty minutes," the Demon God said simply and calmly, looking at Ranma-chan and Ryouga both in turn. "That is how long before the dimensional rift I created from the energy of your interrupted exchange becomes permanent and erases this Earth from existence. Destroy me before then and the tear will close. Otherwise, your world is doomed. Understood?"

"Not at all!" Ranma-chan squawked, though she sounded more bewildered than angry. After all, even for Saotome Ranma it wasn't every day that a breathtakingly gorgeous demon came out of nowhere and tried to obliterate the planet. More like once a month, and even then it was more common for the breathtakingly gorgeous demon to limit herself to trying to kill him instead. Still, things had always worked out in the past and Ranma-chan was confident that they would again since her track record of dealing with homicidal women was so good. More than half of her current fiancées had tried to kill her at some point, and the fact that they'd gone from dreaming of murder to matrimony must mean that she was doing something right!

The cursed martial artist shook her head pensively as Ifurita focused on her again. "You still haven't told us anything about yourself other than your name, like where you come from and why you want to do something as senseless and horrific as destroy the world! Surely someone as cute as you can do better things with their time!" The redhead placed a hand on her forehead and sighed. "I mean, honestly, obliterate the earth? What the heck is that supposed to achieve?"

If the Demon God was at all affected by the compliment or questions, she gave no indications of it. "I have no need to explain my motivations to the likes of you," the android answered in a cold monotone. "And even if I chose to, I doubt either of you would understand. Now, I have given you a simple ultimatum: fight or flight? It makes little difference to me which you choose since the death of this world is assured either way, but I am not completely without mercy and will indulge you should you seek to find comfort in resisting the inevitable."

"'Indulge' us? Feh," Ryouga scoffed, having heard enough. "Ranma, you can cut the idiotic playboy act. Dressed up as a magical girl it only makes you look ridiculous, and even if you weren't in your cursed form I doubt it would work on this one." Ignoring the protests of his rival, the Lost Boy focused entirely on the Demon God and his brown eyes softened slightly. There was a coldness to this strange woman that chilled his blood just by looking at her, but at the same time with his familiarity with the depths of despair the fanged Hibiki could tell that hers was a life also touched by melancholy.

"Look, Ifurita, I don't know why you want to annihilate the planet but that's something I can't let you do. I have friends and family here that I've sworn to protect, and Hibiki Ryouga is a man of his word. Please, can't we talk this out?" the Lost Boy asked, a pleading note in his voice. "I don't want to hurt you, but if you don't back down I won't have any choice."

"I already stated your options. Dialogue was not among them." The powerful android gazed at and through the two martial artists as she spoke, as if they were utterly unimportant and no different from any other physical detail of their shared surroundings. "I suggest you make your decision soon. You only have twenty-nine minutes remaining."

Ryouga sighed and exchanged a meaningful look with his rival. Ranma-chan's choice was as obvious as his, and the two martial artists nodded their heads solemnly. They might barely be able to stand each other at the best of times, but the two youths both understood that the other would never let some crazed woman destroy the planet. Hopefully they could deal with her quickly and then get back to more important things...like finishing their duel!

Despite this, the Lost Boy couldn't help but feel a twinge of regret as he raised his fists and prepared to attack the stunningly beautiful Ifurita. He hated fighting girls and hated it even more when they were so lovely since it went against everything he'd been taught about protecting the opposite sex. Still, an enemy was an enemy, and with any luck she would give up quickly once she realized how powerful he was.

With those thoughts in mind, the Eternally Lost Boy summoned his ki and – reluctantly – charged the Demon God, confident of what the result would be. After all, he'd gone toe-to-toe-and-tail with Freiza and what were the odds that Ifurita would be any more challenging?

000ooo000000ooo000

"This world doesn't stand a chance. Not against Ifurita," Jadeite said solemnly, looking at his unlikely companion intently and wondering what he could say to convince Kasumi to flee with him. The former general had quickly realized that his earlier concerns about whether the young woman would believe his story had been misplaced: between his demonstration of magic by teleporting them to this park bench and her astounding credulity the brunette had accepted every word as truth. Instead, it was her selflessness that was making things difficult for him now and her stubborn refusal to abandon her family. Couldn't the woman do the smart thing and put herself first for a change? He was almost tempted to teleport them both back to the Tendo house and murder her sisters and father in front of her eyes just so there wouldn't be anything holding her to this world, but even then she'd probably protest that somebody needed to stay and perform funeral rites despite such consideration being meaningless with the world about to end.

"I know this well because in the millennia I've served the Demon God no one has ever defeated her in combat, and neither the magic nor science of this world is advanced enough to save the planet from dimensional collapse," Jadeite stated, traces of frustration, concern, and even self-loathing in his voice as he continued to reveal more about himself and his master in a singular effort to accomplish what seemed like an increasingly impossible task – persuade Tendo Kasumi to act like a rational, self-interested human being. "Ifurita's power is incalculable, and she has spent an eternity scouring the multiverse for the strongest and most useful skills and spells in existence. She could destroy this world in the blink of an eye if she wanted. The only reason she hasn't is because Ifurita prefers her victims to feel the cold of the Void before death."

The blond mystic raised a hand to place on her left shoulder, halted in mid-gesture as he mentally hesitated, but then decided why not and let the appendage settle on the yellow sleeve of her comely casual dress. He gripped her shoulder firmly but not uncomfortably as he willed his words to convince her. "As I've already told you, I can save you by taking you to another world where you'll be safe...but you're the only person I can rescue. Any more and my master will detect the dimensional displacement." Jadeite actually wasn't certain about that last part, but he had no intention of taking unnecessary risks...at least more than he was already doing. "It's your only hope for survival, and if your family truly cares about you they won't begrudge you choosing to live. Please, come with me before it's too late."

"Jadeite..." Kasumi said softly, reaching up to place her palms on top of his left hand. The mystic almost pulled back at the serene warmth of her touch but forcefully resisted the urge, determined not to retreat even when he saw the kindness and sadness in the brunette's brown eyes as she met his gaze. "I can't do that. I'm touched that you think so highly of me that you're willing to disobey your master to save my life...but this is my home, and I won't abandon it. Not while there's still something I can do."

_That_ caught Jadeite by surprise, and he looked at her with actual disbelief on his normally controlled features. "Still something you can do? Haven't you listened to a thing I've said? There's _nothing_ that can be done now! Earth is doomed, and even if there was some means to change this fate what makes you think you can do anything? Kasumi, you're-" A hundred different words flew through the illusionist's mind but none of them was satisfactory, so he settled on the one that said everything and nothing at the same time. "-just a mere human. What can you possibly do to save the planet?"

It was with compassion too pure and honest to be pity that Kasumi answered his question. "The world hasn't ended yet, Jadeite, and there are people willing to give everything to ensure it stays that way. I may not be able to stop Ifurita myself, but I know two people who have never given up no matter what the odds were and I believe they can do something about this situation, just as they've overcome every other challenge they've encountered. Judging by where you say your master is right now, they're likely already discussing the matter with her. As for what I can do..."

The brunette smiled at him, and it seemed to Jadeite that her whole face was aglow with a precious understanding. "The people I believe in never give up because they fight for friends and family they care about and who care about them in return. Because they know there are people depending on them and waiting for them to come back safely, they push themselves to do the impossible so their loved ones won't be disappointed. I'm not a fighter and would be almost useless in a battle, but by trusting my friends to do the right thing and believing that they can do anything I give them the strength they need to go on. And just as they won't give up and abandon me in this dark hour, I won't abandon them either."

Jadeite opened his mouth to respond, but no words came at first and he clenched his free hand in exasperation. "I don't understand how you can so readily entrust your life to another," he said at last in a voice just above a hiss, Kasumi's speech and the conviction behind it cutting to the very heart of who he was. "I have lived for _thousands _of years and know firsthand that the universe doesn't work like that. Do you think this world is some anomaly, that somehow the people here care more about each other than the kith and kin on over a thousand other worlds that have succumbed to Ifurita? Faith in each other has never saved anyone from my master, so _how_ can you believe that your planet will be any different? The simple truth of this existence is that the weak don't triumph over the strong and those who don't have the power to save themselves and forge their own destinies become slaves and victims to those who do!"

The dark general tightened his grip on her shoulder and gazed at her severely, blue eyes burning with cold fire as his long maintained emotionless facade cracked. If Kasumi was at all frightened by the sudden changes in her friend, she showed no signs of it. "How can you be so naïve and simpleminded? Don't you realize the utter _futility_ of your idealism and how it has kept you chained to an unappreciative family that takes you for granted and a vapid role in life that'll ultimately amount to _nothing_ except a few trite and quickly forgotten memories? I may be nothing more than a servant, but at least I have power and knowledge beyond what most people can even _dream_ of and have seen and done things that defy imagining! You...you are _weak_ and _ignorant_…and you don't even have the courage to live your own _life_, relegating yourself to a bit part in your family's ongoing saga of fools! What meaning is there in such a life? What reward could possibly make an existence devoid of accomplishments and empty of even the _attempt_ at greatness worthwhile? Trust? Belief? _Love_? All hollow concepts that fade in the vast sea of time!"

"I am directly responsible for the deaths of billions upon billions of souls, Kasumi, and I don't regret a single _one_. Why? Because I'm still alive and that's all that matters in the end!" Jadeite spoke cruelly, an icy intensity to his voice as a bitter vindictiveness grew in his heart. Suddenly, he wanted to _hurt_ her and he wanted her to _hate_ him, see him as the inhuman monster he was and deserved to be treated as and destroy her impossibly childish innocence. Then maybe she would finally listen to reason. "Even before Ifurita found me, I was the same. I betrayed my prince and damned the solar system to a thousand years of darkness all for the sake of power! And if I had the choice, I would do it all over again without hesitation. Every murdered life...every destroyed world...every broken dream and shattered hope...all of it."

The mystic's eyes narrowed briefly, memories of the past and every atrocity he'd committed replaying in his mind. "Your faith in friends has no place in reality, Kasumi. I have studied humanity all my life, and in the darkest hours when survival is at its most uncertain...idealism is little more than an afterthought. Everything you hold dear, everything you _cherish_...love and friendship, compassion and charity...mere conveniences that are quickly discarded when the going gets tough, just like every other fabrication you humans create to comfort yourselves. In a true crisis the only one you can trust to look after yourself is you...and if you think I'm wrong, then tell me...what have your family and friends ever done for you?" Contempt filled the general's voice as he continued, Kasumi silent and still as she watched him and patiently – _infuriatingly!_ – let him speak despite the hateful venom in his words.

"You devote your every waking hour to making them happy without ever asking for anything in return, and what have they given you in exchange for your selflessness? A few words of thanks? Kind smiles and an occasional pat on the back? Meaningless! When was the last time they asked you what you wanted to do? When was the last time they tried to help you achieve your own dreams and ambitions? When was the last time they treated you like an actual _human being_ and not an idealized, unapproachable _saint_?" Jadeite shook his head disparagingly. "And _these_ are the people you trust to protect you, these friends and family of yours who are so selfish and wrapped up in their own insignificant lives that they pay yours nothing but the slightest of passing concerns? You spoke of a strength that comes from knowing that you believe in them, but they don't _know you_ and haven't even bothered to try. Why..._how_ can you care so much for people who do so little for you? It doesn't make _sense_, and you...you are nothing but a fool if you honestly think otherwise!"

Jadeite stopped, not because there wasn't more he wanted to say but rather because of the sympathy he saw growing in the brunette's brown eyes. The thought that even after everything he'd said and done Kasumi could still see something in him worth caring about, as if he was ultimately nothing more than a _mere human_ too despite all his power and sins, was too much for him to bear and he angrily released her from his hold and looked away. This provided no escape for him, though, as she asked him the question he'd been dreading.

"Maybe you are right, Jadeite. Perhaps my family will disappoint me, perhaps my friends will let me down, and perhaps there'll come a day when they can't protect me and won't even try to help. But...even if such a day comes, I'll still love them and forgive them." Kasumi's words were soft and serene, the exact opposite of her companion's winter harshness. "But tell me...if you believe everything you just said, if you have no regrets about serving your master and carrying out her will, if you are the person you claim to be...then why are you trying so hard to save my life?" There was more than just warm tranquility in her voice now but actual pleasure as well, the sound of a woman touched and flattered by another's concern in ways that went beyond mere gratitude. It was almost as if...

Jadeite had no answer for her nor did she give him time to come up with one. Instead, Kasumi slowly moved herself to lean against his side and rested her head on his shoulder, wrapping her arms around him in an intimate hug. "How can I give up on the family and friends I believe in...when I see someone I care about refuse to give up on me?"

The sweet, happy words were like a moon tiara aimed at the mystic's heart, and he gasped though whether in surprise or pain he couldn't tell. This wasn't the first time a woman had professed to care about him, but it was the first time his cold reasoning failed him in response. Jadeite could feel his precious composure and already frayed self-control crumble and melt in Kasumi's invitingly warm embrace, and for the life of him he couldn't rationalize the conflicting thoughts and emotions surging throughout his tired, blackened soul. He couldn't even shove her aside and flee from this _madness_, somehow finding himself too weak to resist Kasumi's enfoldment despite possessing the power to rip her apart telekinetically and the fact that she was only human.

"Don't think you know me," Jadeite hissed again, although this time there was more desperation than cruelty in it as he struggled to reorient himself. "Just because I don't want to see you die today doesn't mean I won't let it happen. My first loyalty is and always has been to me, and if I have to sacrifice you to save myself I will. And even if that doesn't become necessary, you don't have the power to resist me if I decide to rescue you against your will. I can take you to another world and deprive you of your family and friends no matter how much you struggle and hate me afterwards."

"And if you do either," Kasumi answered tranquilly, "I'll still love you and forgive you. But I know you won't." She shifted slightly to make herself more comfortable, pressing herself against him and finding such an intuitive place at his side that it seemed perfectly natural for her to be there. "I _believe_ in you, Jadeite. I believe that you truly don't want the universe to be the place you think it is, I believe that the man who spent the past two weeks getting to know me doesn't want to stop getting to know me, and I believe that you will do the right thing."

"Then you truly are a fool," Jadeite said heavily, sighing. He felt...everything and nothing all at once, an indescribable kaleidoscope of emotions as his heart of ice threatened to burst from the seething fervor it was struggling to contain counterpoised by a numbness created by millennia of apathy and caring only about his own survival. There was no way the ancient illusionist could reconcile the two, and he knew that he would hate himself no matter what decision he made...but make one he would. For he was Jadeite, last of the Shitennou of the destroyed Dark Kingdom, and if one there was one constant in his many years of existence serving others it was that he always chose his own path, even if it was often the road to damnation. Today would be no different, and even as he felt a wave of self-loathing and disgust as he made his choice with it came the comfort of clarity-

"And I...I am an even bigger fool for wanting to believe in you too, Kasumi."

-and something else that Jadeite only truly understood when the young, beautiful woman whose arms were wrapped around his body looked up and smiled at him, an epiphany that had finally dawned after thousands of years of waiting, and he knew beyond a doubt that no matter what happened next...if given the choice he would do it all over again exactly the same.

000ooo000000ooo000

Ranma-chan didn't see Ryouga speed towards Ifurita with his right fist raised up behind his head in preparation for a powerful strike. The redhead also didn't see the Demon God effortlessly sidestep the intended attack nor the single-handed punch the deadly automaton slammed into the Lost Boy's abdomen, all these actions happening at speeds beyond her ability to follow. The cursed martial artist _did_, however, feel the monstrous rush of displaced air as her longtime rival soared backwards uncontrollably and heard the massive, agonizing crash a second later as his momentum was finally broken by slamming into one of tallest buildings still standing on the edges of the devastated battlefield their duel had transformed Shinagawa Ward into. The rumbling sounds of the building collapsing under the force of impact a moment later were almost as loud, but by then Ranma-chan was far more focused on what her eyes saw now that they'd caught up with the action: Ifurita's cold, calculating gaze settling on her.

"Disappointing," the Demon God said simply, flexing her free hand to check for damage as she tilted her head to neutrally watch the redhead. "For a mortal capable of generating such great power, I expected more from him. For your own sake, girl, I hope you can do better."

In response, Ranma-chan planted both hands on her hips and grinned confidently. "Ha! Don't put me in the same category as bacon bits over there. Saotome Ranma NEVER loses, and I'm not about to start when the future of the world is at stake. Ya might be a little fast and a little bit strong, but against me you're simply in over your pretty head. In the name of-" The Saotome heir reached for her throat and choked back the nonsensical spiel she felt bubbling up inside her. Better to save that for later just in case Ryouga got back up and wanted to continue their duel after she'd dealt with this strange woman. "-er, I mean, if you _really_ want a fight, Ifurita, you've got one. Just don't complain later when things go _my_ way instead of yours!"

"Arrogant words for one who lacks a clear understanding of what she is up against," Ifurita stated in an almost perfunctory manner, recently extended arm returning to her side. "But then again, such foolishness is a common characteristic of your species. I'll soon see whether there's any justification to your assertions."

"Soon? Feh, how about now?" Ranma-chan retorted smugly, raising her left hand to frame her left eye between two fingers. "MIKURU BEAM!"

The ludicrously powerful beam of colorful energy immediately shot out of Ranma-chan's left eye and soared towards its target, ionizing the air in its wake as it shone incandescently. Terrifying in might and purpose, the eponymous Mikuru Beam was implacable...unavoidable...and unstoppable...

"FALCON PUNCH!"

...except by that!

...and maybe Chuck Norris, but this story refuses to go there.

Right fist glowing with cataclysmic, incalculable power, Ifurita thrust the clenched hand forward straight it into the center of the incoming Mikuru Beam. An earth-shattering roar heralded the collision of the two internet memes and one could almost feel reality recoil as unstoppable force met immovable object. The Demon God's lilac hair writhed wildly behind her as the two monstrous energy attacks clashed and her entire frame reverberated from the impact, but the implacable expression on her alabaster face never wavered. A second later the worst was over for her as the equally ridiculous assaults canceled each other out in a surprisingly anticlimactic and nondestructive implosion.

Ranma-chan stood in absolute silence and gawked at her opponent, for once taken completely aback by what she'd just witnessed and feeling a growing sinking sensation in the pit of her stomach. The Mikuru Beam was one of her strongest attacks and had utterly floored Ryouga, and much as Ranma-chan was loathe to admit it she could only counter rather than compete with the Lost Boy's newfound power. For Ifurita to so easily and quickly defend against the technique...the redhead preferred not to dwell on what that said about the Demon God's own strength and her chances against her.

For her part, Ifurita remained bent over from the thrust of her punch for a long moment and gazed at her extended hand intently, watching as smoke rose from her singed gloves but otherwise not detecting any damage. Then, she slowly turned analytical eyes on the surprised redhead. "An interesting technique. It just might be worth my while to see what else you are capable of, Saotome Ranma. _But_...I think I will make the next move."

Ranma-chan's soul empowered instincts didn't even have time to scream at her as the Demon God suddenly shot forward and swung her key staff in a powerful sideways arc. Instead, they bypassed their owner's awareness entirely and desperately swerved the martial artist's body out of the way before Ranma-chan could even process what was happening, but this still wasn't fast enough. The hard, key handle-shaped head of the metallic stave nicked the redhead in the center of her torso and left an ugly tear in the green fabric of her sleeveless shirt and a trace of blood as the lithe redhead flailed backwards. When her brain finally caught up with the action it was faced with the unpleasant realization that at those speeds and with a little energy infusion the key staff could be used quite easily as an axe.

Ifurita continued past the young martial artist for several feet before instantaneously halting her pass. Slowly, she turned to face the redhead who had landed in an ungainly heap on the ground, Ranma-chan's mouth open in surprise. "Hm...a soul user. Still a novice judging by the delayed comprehension rate, but even if I'm underestimating your skill level I know the weaknesses for your power type. My next attack should be should be more _effective_."

Ranma-chan hurriedly sprang to her feet and brought her arms up in front of her, crossing them in a warding gesture. "Not so fast, Ifurita! Don't get cocky just because you scored a _minor_ hit." She twirled once and pointed at the Demon God with her right hand, doing her best to project her trademark confidence as a desperate plan formed in her mind and she decided that a dramatic speech to buy time was called for after all. "The Mikuru Beam was only my opening salvo, and now that I have a better idea of what you're capable of-" The redhead leaned over and kicked her left leg straight up behind her, heeled boot leaving multi-colored sparkles in its wake. "-you won't get so lucky again!" she declared, rapidly swinging her left leg down again and converting the momentum into a fast pirouette. "In the name of the all that is righteous under the rainbow and my pride as a martial artist, I will punish you and stop your dark crusade here and now!" Horizontal spin finished, she clasped her hands together in front of her chest and spoke the words to unleash her next technique-

"Saotome School of Anything Goes Martial Arts Secret Technique – Fast Break!"

-and ran away as if the very hounds of hell were after her!

Unfortunately for the talented martial artist and her tactical decision to stall until she came up with a better plan, Ifurita disappeared and rematerialized in front of her before she'd taken half a dozen steps. Face as expressionless as ever, the Demon God easily dodged the punches the now frantic redhead aimed at her without giving any ground and tossed her key staff to her side. Instead of following a normal trajectory, however, the metallic staff whirled in a large circle around the two combatants, leaving behind five stationary duplicates of itself in passing before finally, its master soaring backwards several yards to be in place to complete the circle, returning to her waiting hand.

"Omnislash-" Ifurita said calmly, body lighting up with currents of blue energy as she raised her staff above her head. "-Version 6."

The Saotome heir didn't even have enough time to blink before the Demon God was upon her and slammed her key staff into her stomach with enough force to make the cursed martial artist nostalgic for Akane's cooking. Rather than finish her off then and there, though, the deadly android continued her assault instead and soared past the redhead, stopping several yards and a millisecond later at the circle's edge to replace her stave with one of its duplicates. Pivoting, she returned trailing a cerulean after-image and struck her opponent again even harder, sweeping her legs out from under her. Another stop at the circle's perimeter, another weapon exchange, and Ifurita came back for a fast and furious third strike...and then a fourth...and a fifth...and a _ninth_. Ranma-chan was completely helpless against the horrific onslaught, the attacks too quick and coming from too many directions for even her soul-enhanced instincts to defend against as Ifurita kept her off the ground through the speed and power of her swings, leaving a crisscrossing of azure blurs in her wake. The twelfth blow nearly knocked the redhead unconscious when it slammed into her forehead and sent rivulets of blood flowing down her face, but that was a mercy the Demon God would not allow. The thirteenth strike snapped the martial artist into full, agonized awareness again and tossed her over a dozen yards straight-up into the air where her opponent was already waiting with her original key staff in hand to deliver the fourteenth and final blow.

_**Kra-CRACK!**_

The metallic stave was accompanied by an explosion of cerulean light as it crashed into the back of the battered and bloodied Ranma-chan, Ifurita's aura and after-images flaring and then fading in time with the strike. The redhead released a rare, tortured scream as what little remained of her pain threshold crumbled, but the anguished noise was quickly silenced as the martial artist hurtled downwards and plowed into the ground with enough force to gouge out another small crater in the much larger scar her earlier battle with Ryouga had left. Blinking back tears and drawing upon reserves of strength she didn't know she had but fully expected to find anyway, Ranma-chan slowly and agonizingly lifted her face off the ground and rolled over to glare at her opponent...and instantly regretted making the effort when she saw what awaited her.

Ifurita calmly floated above her, blue-gray eyes focused entirely on her prone form and lilac hair rustling in an unseen breeze as a radiant blue sphere of power formed below the pronged bottom of her key staff. The azure globe grew brighter and larger with each passing second, hungrily clawing at the air around it with tiny pinpricks of light that ringed its surface and hissed in quiet whispers.

"And now...you die," the Demon God stated with finality, a trace of what strangely sounded like kindness in her voice. "May you find peace in Oblivion, Saotome Ranma."

Even before the Demon God launched the sphere of deadly power from her staff, Ranma-chan knew she wouldn't be able to dodge it. Ifurita's repeated staff strikes had taken their toll, and she'd already been on her last legs before crashing into the fractured ground with more force than one of Akane's mallets aimed at her head. Simply getting back on her feet to stand would have been a miracle at the moment. Actually managing to run an impossibility that not even Vegas would set odds for.

"Ugh...I...this can't...won't...give up," Ranma-chan muttered weakly, stubborn pride taking over where rationality had given up as blue death filled her vision overhead. As if in reaction to her resolve, time appeared to slow down around the redhead but not even the much-vaunted suspenseful draw-out could save her now. Every motion sent spasms of pain rocketing throughout her body that not even Ranma-chan's lifetime of martial arts training could compensate for, and it seemed her doom was nigh. She couldn't rescue herself...and so, unknown to the Saotome heir but in perfect accordance with the teachings of Pretty Magical Girl Martial Arts, her soul called out for a hero...and received a response!

000ooo000000ooo000

Hibiki Ryouga was no stranger to agony. His life on the road had accustomed him to all sorts of troubles, and his training methods as a martial artist would hospitalize a normal human. The Eternal Wanderer could say with perfect honesty that his pain thresholds were monstrous, and they had only become greater over the course of his experiences chasing the Road Runner and as a Z-Fighter in that alternate dimension. Friend and foe alike had been astonished by his inhuman resiliency as he refused to stay down no matter how hard Vegeta, the Ginyu Force, and even Frieza pounded away at him. He took great pride in his incredible endurance and relied heavily on it as a fighter, believing that if he couldn't match an opponent's speed he could outlast them and capitalize on any mistakes they made.

All of which made the fact that a _single punch_ had knocked him unconscious rather infuriating to the Lost Boy as he finally returned to the land of the living. That he was also buried under the rubble of an office building only added insult to injury. He had never been hit that hard before, and the ease and speed with which Ifurita struck him gave him reason for concern. Just who was this Demon God and how powerful was she?, Ryouga wondered blearily as he strained his senses to perceive what was happening around him. Not even Frieza had been that fast, and the closest parallel he could come up with was Super Saiyan Son Goku in the few glimpses he'd caught of the transformed warrior before fleeing Namek with the rest of the survivors, and if _that_ was what he was up against-

The fanged martial artist's thoughts came to an abrupt halt at the rapid build-up of energy he detected outside. It wasn't ki, but there was a warped quality to it that made it stand out in his mind's eye and sent shivers down his spine. Moreover, weak as she was, he could also sense Ranma's aura directly below the build-up and instinctively knew that she was in distress and would die in the next few seconds if he didn't do-

What Ryouga did next he did unthinkingly, summoning his ki and erupting out of the small mountain of debris like a green comet and then flying towards Ranma-chan with all the speed he could muster and then some. Much as he _hated_ his rival there was a bond between the two of them that went beyond mutual antagonism, and if anyone was going to kill Ranma-chan it was going to be _him_ rather than some extradimensional demon who had no right interfering in their duel. In the Lost Boy's rush, even a hundredth of a millisecond felt like a small eternity as he saw the azure orb descend and come closer and closer to his defenseless nemesis. For the shortest of moments it seemed like he wouldn't quite make it and would be disintegrated by the attack as well, but then he was over and above Ranma-chan and grabbed her hand, scooping her into his arms as he felt the sphere of hot, hungry energy vaporize the hairs on his back before finally clearing the projectile's range. He barely managed to stay ahead of the ensuing shockwave as the ground behind him disintegrated for a quarter mile in all directions and was buffeted by the tail end of the geologic explosion when he reached the crater's edge and was forced to fly up and over it.

A second later Ryouga planted his feet on heretofore undamaged pavement and used his ki to slide to stop, intense conditioning allowing him to ignore the friction as his feet dug grooves into the street. Once slowed, he pivoted backwards and focused his gaze on his lovely but dangerous opponent. Still floating above the now expanded and deepened crater, Ifurita calmly met his eyes and began to slowly descend to the crater's rim where he stood with the battered Ranma-chan in his arms. Speaking of which...

"Oi! What did ya do that for?" Ranma-chan complained as Ryouga suddenly dropped her, rubbing her sore posterior and looking up at her rival angrily. "A little bit of warning _next time_ would be appreciated ya big pig!"

"Feh, as if I want to make a habit of rescuing _you_," the Lost Boy replied scornfully, looking down at his rival contemptuously and ignoring the tiny voice of concern in the back of his head. Ranma-chan's skimpy uniform was nicked and torn in several places, only the horrible bruises and rivulets of blood saving her from the appearance of indecency, and her breathing was coming in short, irregular gasps despite the coherency of her angry words. "There won't be a 'next time' if I can help it, and since you're clearly in over your head here I strongly recommend you run away. You'll just be in the way if you stay."

Now it was Ranma-chan's turn to scoff, and she did with great skill and remarkable form considering her injuries. "Ha! As if, P-chan! I appreciate the well-timed but totally _unnecessary_ rescue, but trust me – I'll be back on my feet in a few minutes tops! And once I'm back in the game it'll only be a matter of time until I figure out a way to defeat Ifurita." Smiling mockingly and doing everything in her power not to wince and cry out in pain, the redhead sat up and rested her head on her bent knees. "Besides, what makes you think you can do any better? You couldn't even take one punch from that demon while I've endured over a dozen!"

"Meh, that was a lucky shot," Ryouga replied somewhat disingenuously, not willing to concede defeat to his nemesis in anything, even when it was something as silly as who made the better punching bag. "Besides, I've been holding back my full power," he continued, cracking his knuckles confidently. "In our next exchange I'll make sure to go all out, and I'm confident that it'll be a much different sto-OUCH!"

Ryouga looked askance at the Saotome heir who had gone from nursing her injuries on the ground to standing, enraged, and just-smacked-him-in-the-back-of-the-head in less than a blink of an eye. "What do you MEAN you were holding back your full power?" she demanded to know, grabbing him by the throat and dragging his face down to her eye level. "Here I was, going all out against you and making a fool of myself earlier, and YET you were just TOYING with me?"

"Eheheh...sort of?" the fanged martial artist answered anxiously, scratching the top of his head with his right hand nervously. Even though he knew Ranma-chan wasn't really a girl, it still felt weird to be manhandled by her. "Look, it was nothing against you personally, Ranma, but it's just the way everybody fights where I trained. You NEVER reveal your true power and skill level in a fight unless you absolutely have to because battles can be so unpredictable, and it's good to have something in reserve in case your opponent unexpectedly powers up and threatens to destroy everything around them."

Ranma-chan rolled her eyes in disgust. "Ryouga, that's just plain _stupid_! Holding back in sort of friendly duels when it's just your own honor on the line is one thing and I do it all the time here, but when the lives of others are potentially at stake too? Don't you realize how _idiotic_ it is to give such an opponent additional time to accomplish their dangerous schemes and put more people at risk? And heck, by drawing things out you might even make them _more_ powerful by pushing them past their limits!"

Ryouga raised a finger in protest but, suddenly recalling all the times the enemies he'd fought as a Z-Fighter had made the mistake of toying around with Son Goku and unintentionally accomplished exactly what his rival had just spelled out, found himself refuted by his own experiences. "You...uh, might have a _minor_ point there," he allowed begrudgingly, "but that doesn't change the fact that you'll just be in the way if you stay here! So shoo! Go mooch a meal off Ukyo or Shampoo or something, and _I'll_ save the world and protect Akane."

The two rivals glared at each other, neither one willing to back down and angry words eager to burst forth on both their lips. Fortunately for the fate of the world which was about to be forgotten in their mutual hostilities, a polite cough from in front of them interrupted their battle of wills and Ranma-chan and Ryouga immediately turned to see who dared get between them.

"Are you two about done?" Ifurita asked calmly from where she stood levitating just beyond the crater's rim, neither amusement nor irritation at being ignored on her face as she watched them and waited. "If you prefer to spend your last minutes on Earth bickering with each other, say so and I will leave you be. Neither of you two appear to be worth my time to fight any longer, and it makes little difference to me whether your lives are claimed by my hands or the Void. I'd understand it if the two of you want to make peace with each other before the end. Few couples prefer to see their relationship conclude on a bad note, after all."

"WE ARE NOT A COUPLE!" the two martial artists screamed in unison, disgust at the mere suggestion banishing their earlier argument and giving their ire a new target as they glared daggers at the Demon God. Ifurita, being made of tougher stuff, was impervious to the mental knifes and merely raised a quizzical eyebrow.

"Oh? While I have no experience and no interest in such matters myself, my limited observations of the two of you place you neatly in a romantic relationship archetype," Ifurita noted dryly. "The mutual antagonism but remarkable camaraderie and intimacy, the casualness with which you fight each other and yet protect each other the next instant, and even the fierce denials...You two 'doth protest too much, methinks' is the saying on this world, correct?" Seeing their hackles rise at her analysis, Ifurita nodded her head imperceptibly. The correctness of her observations was an insignificant detail: what mattered was getting her two opponents impassioned enough to use everything they knew against her. The odds of any special techniques they had being able to harm her were miniscule...but that didn't mean that in her hands such techniques couldn't be useful, and if nothing else these two possessed great technical skill she could use to augment her own fighting style.

"Ugh, enough with the disgusting insinuations!" Ryouga gagged, swatting his rival's hands away from his neck and pushing her back so he could confront the Demon God. "Ranma, I don't care what you do anymore. Stay here, run away...just don't get in my way! As for _you_-" he declared, jabbing a wroth finger in the lilac-haired android's direction, "-you are going down! Demon God Ifurita, prepare to die!"

It is a common belief that the power level of any Z-Fighter is directly proportional to how long they spend charging up their battle aura and screaming. This is normally true, but Ryouga was not known for his patience and his opinion on spending whole minutes doing nothing but standing around yelling while warming up his ki was that it was a waste of time that could be better spent fighting. And since his aura was already predisposed to surge based on his emotional state, the Lost Boy had created a technique to utilize this volatility and bypass the whole power-up phase by channeling his anger and depression into his ki and almost instantly jump to maximum power. He didn't use it very often since most opponents he'd fought since becoming a Z-Fighter were either significantly weaker or stronger than himself, and in the latter cases if he could buy time to recover and strategize by "powering up" it was well worth enduring the snarky comments of his adversaries while they foolishly waited instead of seizing the opportunity. In a situation like the one the Lost Boy found himself in now, though, facing a seemingly vastly superior opponent who'd started a countdown to doomsday, the technique was a lifesaver.

Once again, Hibiki Ryouga raised his fists and charged, surrounded by a green silhouette as he flew through the air. And once again, Ifurita stood still and waited, alert but impassive as the Eternally Lost Boy approached her at speeds that were simultaneously far beyond human ken but still pitifully slow for her. However, as the fanged martial artist drew back his right arm in preparation for his first punch, his viridian aura suddenly swelled and his velocity increased exponentially. Ifurita raised an eyebrow in surprise at the surge as she prepared to dodge the incoming blow much the same way as she had earlier, but in the instant before it would have reached her Ryouga's form blurred and he reappeared _behind_ the Demon God. The android turned around just as quickly and raised her free hand to catch the Lost Boy's approaching fist.

_**SMACK!**_

The two combatants locked gazes as they soared backwards, the Lost Boy not even trying to retract his hand as his sheer momentum pushed them both hurtling down the street. Ranma-chan muttered an "eep" and hastily dove out of the way as the two careened past her, the force of their passing carving out a trench. A second later Ryouga drew his left arm back and unleashed a flurry of high and low jabs, trying to get past Ifurita's guard as the lilac haired beauty rapidly blocked every incoming strike with her key staff, each blow ringing with supersonic repercussions. Although his furious effort was to no avail, the fanged martial artist took encouragement from the simple fact that his opponent remained on the defensive and redoubled the intensity of his assault by kicking out with his legs.

"Better," Ifurita commented analytically as she rotated sideways in mid-air to avoid his left leg, key staff wobbling as the top end simultaneously blocked Ryouga's left fist and his follow-up kick with his right foot, "but still not good enough!" The Demon God's eyes flashed red for a second, and acting on some preternatural sense the Eternal Wanderer pulled back and swung sideways an instant before a crimson optic blast would have vaporized his head. He channeled a sphere of ki in his left hand to respond in kind, but Ifurita was quicker and, releasing their joined hands, slammed him into the ground before it could become more than a green bubble. She then grasped her key staff with both hands and swung it down like an axe to cleave him in two, but Ryouga was only nicked by it in his chest as he rocketed up and out of the way.

"I'll show you 'good enough,' demon!" Ryouga vowed, fingering his superficial cut gently and then, growling angrily, summoning his aura to unleash a salvo of ki blasts in the Demon God's direction, less concerned with accuracy than with regaining the initiative. Ifurita responded in kind with a series of blue laser beams emitted from the pronged end of her staff as she dodged, pivoting and swerving as she flew through the air to close the gap with her opponent. The two met in close quarters again a few seconds later as the sky around them erupted in blue and green detonations, all of which paled in comparison to the destructive shockwave unleashed as their fists collided. And then, both vanished from sight as their battle intensified even further.

Feeling left out, Ranma-chan sighed dismally from the ground and wiped away the last of the blood on her forehead as her soul's healing energies hurriedly restored her to fighting condition, the redhead trying and failing to follow the ongoing battle. The only signs she had of what was going on were the nearly deafening reverberations of their clashes, the explosions of discharged energy, and the powerful shockwaves that were doing a number on what remained of Shinagawa that their battle generated. She could and did try her best to piece together a picture from this, but the redhead knew that even if it was accurate her rival and the Demon God were at least a dozen moves ahead of whatever she formulated in her mind. It was bad enough for the cursed martial artist to be relegated to the sidelines like this, especially when she was so used to being at the center of everything, but being BEHIND the action too? Having to dodge stray energy blasts, collapsing ground, and debris every other minute only added insult to injury here.

As much as her pride stung at the feeling of unimportance, however, what truly vexed the clever Saotome heir was the certain knowledge that Ifurita was simply _toying_ with both her and Ryouga. The Lost Boy was doing better now, yes, but even assuming her rival was actually going full out – the jerk! – Ranma-chan knew Ryouga well enough to tell when he was at a disadvantage. She could only _sense_ him rather than _see_ him, but that was enough for her to feel the desperation and frustration in his frenzied, passionate aura as he went up against the metaphorical wall that was the Demon God. Nothing either of them had done yet had so much as scratched their opponent, and if this kept up the world really would end in the next thirty minutes. This was an intolerable situation for Saotome Ranma, but there was absolutely nothing she could do at the moment, no way she could make a difference without getting in the way and most likely getting herself killed, not a single thing _unless_-

Hit with a sudden burst of inspiration instead of the high energy death ray that missed Ryouga and carved out a giant pit several feet behind her, Ranma-chan put her fingers to her mouth and whistled as loudly as she could. "SHOGI! Wherever you're hiding, get over here! I need your help to save the city while there's still a city to save!"

Not receiving an immediate response, the cursed martial artist briefly worried that her animal familiar had done the smart thing and ran for the hills the moment Ifurita revealed herself and started making pronouncements of doom. Fortunately for Ranma-chan, her concerns were unfounded as canine loyalty held true and the off-colored puppy came bounding towards her a minute later, sprinting around the heaps of debris and pockmarked earth that stood between them.

"Things...don't like very good, do they?" Shogi asked anxiously as he came to a stop in front of his partner, breathing heavily as he caught his breath. "And to think I dared to hope that my biggest worry today would be avoiding the fallout from your duel with Ryouga. Never...there's never a dull moment with you, is there?"

"Meh, when it rains, it pours," Ranma-chan recited unworriedly, brimming with confidence now that she had a plan again. "Ryouga's still going down as soon as I defeat Ifurita – that's the demon with the lilac hair who wants to destroy Earth – but first I need your help!"

"I'll...um, do what I can," Shogi answered nervously but bravely, unwilling to shirk his duties as either animal familiar or man's best friend in this time of need, "but I really don't know how I can help out here. Most of what Kuroyo taught me was intended for either support or defensive roles, and my canine ninjitsu probably won't be of much use against Ifurita unless you want me to pick her pockets...which is an ancient family technique and NOT theft! "

Not having any grounds to criticize the specious distinctions between martial arts techniques and less _noble_ practices considering her own family's style, Ranma-chan moved straight on to her scheme. "Not to worry! Look, remember what Kuroyo and the Master said about teaching me new soul techniques? Well, I need a power-up and I need it _now_, so this is the perfect time to do so!"

The young canine's eyes widened in surprise. "Are you kidding me? You've barely been a full-fledged magical girl for twenty-four hours, and you want me to do something THAT reckless? Without the conditioning lengthy battle experience as a magical girl provides boosting your power could destroy your body, and then you'd be of no help to anyone!"

"And as things stand I'm already of no help to anyone!" Ranma-chan protested, nearly choking on her pride as she spoke those words. "Look, I understand that you're concerned about my well-being, but we don't have time to debate this right now! Every second we don't act is another second Earth comes closer to annihilation, and I refuse to give Ryouga the satisfaction of seeing me helpless and dependent on him to come up with a last-ditch, harebrained scheme to save me before the world ends! My equally desperate, harebrained schemes are always at least TWICE as good as his! And if it works every time in Sailor Moon when the enemies get tougher, it's GUARANTEED to work here!"

Shogi felt a sweatdrop appear over his head but quickly banished it. Now was not the time to question his partner's priorities and sanity. "Be that as it may, if there's a chance Ryouga can save us there's no need for you to put yourself needlessly in danger! The risks are too great, and if you'd only-"

"DARK ETERNAL!"

Shogi and Ranma-chan didn't so much hear as _feel_ the two words as Ifurita spoke them, each syllable laced with enough eldritch power to numb the souls of any creature unfortunate enough to still be in what remained of Shinagawa Ward. Putting aside their argument momentarily, the two partners looked up at the battle and gasped as a black rift filled the sky for over half a mile in all directions. The faint pinpricks of what looked like stars could be seen in the furthest recesses of the gateway's depths as the otherworldly chill of the outer planes fell across the devastated landscape and almost immediately condensed every trace of moisture in the air. Within seconds the battlefield was draped in an ominous, unholy fog, but not even the unnatural mist could hide the horror that emerged from the dark rift above: a perfectly equilateral triangle composed entirely of light so pure and brilliant it _seared_ rather than shone. The three-sided figure spun madly about its axis and along its edges, at least one point of the geometric terror always remaining behind the dimensional pale as everything its blinding, freezing coruscations touched – debris, clouds, even air – vanished entirely, erased into nothingness in less than an instant. All that remained was the horrible, incomprehensible alien whine as what could not possibly be yet was scourged its way across the sky and obliterated the earth below, revealing to all those with the misfortune to witness the destructive spectacle the cold, white flame that is at the center of Light.

"So...what were you saying about risks again, Shogi?" Ranma-chan remarked, any traces of irony that might have been in her voice wiped out by the awe-inspiring and terrifying sight above. She gulped once, nervous despite herself, and felt a momentary twinge of worry for Ryouga that she quickly put aside. As low as her opinion of the Lost Boy was, it was still high enough for her to give him enough credit to get the heck out of dodge when extraplanar attacks started tearing the troposphere apart. Besides, as chillingly powerful as Ifurita's spell was, its movements were terribly easy to predict and the redhead had a feeling that the Demon God was only casting it to demonstrate that, if she wanted to, she could wipe them and all of Tokyo out in an instant. That she wasn't almost made Ranma-chan roll her eyes in scorn, but even she had to admit at this point that Ifurita's arrogance might be justified.

Beside the redhead, Shogi shuddered as the radiant triangle made one last, destructive pass before spinning back within the gateway and returning to the darkness from whence it came, the dimensional rift winking out of existence a moment later as if it had never been there. A huge crest of viridian ki filled the sky next, heralding Ryouga's survival and intent to continue the battle, and it was quickly joined and met by his opponent's icy blue aura. Azure streak and green comet crashed into each other and clashed with the fury of a thousand tempests a second later, filling the heavens with their thunderous combat.

"...On second thought and after further consideration of the merits of your argument, I'm forced to conclude that desperate times call for desperate measures. So...um, good luck and if this kills you in a horribly painful way please don't hold a grudge!"

Sighing grimly, the black and white dog closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He then proceeded to hum, the soft noise almost dreamlike, and as the sound rose in volume dozens upon dozens of sparkles materialized around him, every one matching a color of the rainbow. Then, with a suddenness that took the redhead by surprise, Shogi converted his soothing humming to an almost painful howl and, as one, the bright sparkles surrounding him soared towards Ranma-chan and into the rainbow crest on her forehead. The cursed martial artist felt a warmth enfold her as this took place, a healing, rejuvenating vivacity that remained even after the last sparkle entered the symbol on her head.

"I feel great!" the redhead announced, ebullient and oozing self-confidence as she flexed her arms and legs and felt none of the pain she had as little as a few minutes ago. It was all she could do not to laugh out loud as she pivoted away from her animal familiar to face the sky dramatically, hands on her hips. "And now, in the name of all that is righteous under the rainbow-"

"STOP!" Shogi interrupted frantically, running around and jumping in front of the talented martial artist. "Don't get ahead of yourself, Ranma! I've unlocked access to the next level of your soul's power, but you still need to tap into it first if you don't want to be treated like Ifurita's personal piñata again!"

Ranma-chan's eyes twitched at the analogy but, through sheer force of will, she forced herself to focus on the important part of the puppy's warning. "'Tap into it' you say? Well hurry up and tell me how to do that, then! We don't have any time to waste!"

_**Vworp-Crackle-Kra-KROOOOOM!**_

**SSSSHBLAMM!-SSSSHBLAMM!-SSSSHBLAMM!-SSSSHBLAMM!**

Shogi suddenly became nervous for reasons that had absolutely nothing to do with the fireworks going off above them. "Well...you see...you're probably not going to like this much, but in order to open the metaphorical door I've unlocked you need to...ahem, how to best put this?...give an emotional monologue about selflessness and wanting to help people."

"...I should've known it would be something stupid like that," Ranma-chan finally muttered with a disgusted sigh. "That's just like the Master, forcing her students to act idiotically even after they've graduated!"

"Maybe you should try to think of it as a pep talk?" the furry familiar suggested helpfully, straining for justifications. "The conviction of your heartfelt words and the feelings of your noble heart will supply your body with the resolve it needs to not only endure but command the powerful magical energies you are about to unleash! Or something like that, I think..."

The cursed martial artist placed an aggrieved hand on her forehead and looked down at her partner. "All right all right already, I get it. And if that's what it takes, fine, I'll make so many silly speeches that even Kuno would cringe in embarrassment. This just better work because if it doesn't and we all die then I'll make sure to haunt the Master for rest of eternity in the afterlife!...assuming she doesn't go to hell like she deserves."

"I think she has a get out hell free card," Shogi supplied quickly, suppressing a chuckle at Ranma-chan's sweatdrop. "Soul Calibur tournaments, remember? And that _would_ explain a few things about her behavior..."

Ranma-chan blinked and then blinked again before deciding to ignore that remark and get past the next embarrassing episode of her magical girl career as quickly as possible. "...Oh alas, my _dear_ friends are in trouble and I'm _powerless_ to save them! _Woe_ is me!" the Saotome heir emoted with more melodrama than an entire week's worth of soap operas, falling to her knees in a sign of helplessness. "Whatever will I do? My friends and family have done so much for me-" Like make my life a living hell! "-and I don't want to let them down!" So I can pay them back properly for everything they've put me through later! "And Ryouga, I want...I want to save him!" So he can't lord saving my life over me afterwards!

She covered her face with her hands and pretended to sob. "Oh, if only...if only I had the power to help! To make a difference and save the world...not just for me and those close to my heart, but for everyone who lives and breathes on this lovely, beautiful planet!" She released a sudden gasp and faked an epiphany. "But wait...what does it matter if I have the power or not? I know what I want to do and _must_ do, and even if it costs me my life I will stand and fight! I won't give up no matter how poor the odds are, for where there's a will there's a way and as long as there's hope...there's still a chance!"

_Please-work-Please-work-Please-work-Ple-__**CLICK!**_

Somehow, Ranma-chan managed to keep the smug smile she felt off her face and affected an air of seriousness instead, solemnly rising to her feet to gaze intently at the clashing green and blue torrents overhead. Slowly, drawing the dramatic suspense out as long as she could, the redhead placed both of her hands over her locket and spoke the new incantation burned into her mind.

"Saotome School of Anything Goes Martial Arts Mystic Technique! Magical Mega Mutation!"

The same upbeat, over-the-top musical number played, but instead of rays of light bursting forth from her pendant seven long, oblong blades matching the colors of the rainbow spread outwards from where she stood on the ground and began to revolve around her, increasing their speed and lengthening with each passing second. Soon, the ends of the colored lances began to curl up and inwards, stretching to meet each other above the brave Saotome heir's head and completely encasing her in a whirling dervish of color and magical power. This continued for several incredibly drawn-out seconds until, suddenly, the twinkling encasement swelled and unfurled like a flower in full bloom. The shining blades transformed into petals as they fell and framed the dazzling and furiously spinning redhead within, a rain of glittering, rainbow "pollen" released by the blossoming flower accumulating to her as she rotated. And then, once Ranma-chan was completely coated in the brilliant scintillations, her uniform began to change.

The metamorphosis started with her footwear which, while retaining its violet color and knee-length, hardened and took on a metallic sheen as it became a pair of light armored boots with (much to Ranma-chan's annoyance) FIVE inch heels instead of four. Next, her indigo skirt grew and wrapped itself tightly around her legs and under her new boots, transforming into leggings made from the scales of some unknown beast. A blue plate skirt in the ancient Roman style promptly evanesced into existence, replacing the previous ridiculously short skirt with one that managed the miracle of being even shorter. Then, her cloth shirt liquefied and, like a sea of rippling green stars, flowed across her chest and re-solidified into a form-fitting, breast-hugging, how the heck am I supposed to BREATHE in this thing cuirass that, strangely for the purposes of protection, left her midriff and navel exposed. The choker became a yellow gorget comprised of the same scales as her leggings, with matching yellow, scale pauldrons adorning her shoulders and the henshin pendant's gemstone securely fastened to the neck armor over her throat. Continuing the pattern, her orange gloves were affected next as both accoutrements dissolved into sparkles that swirled around her forearms and reformed into lithe, orange metal vambraces with the remaining coruscations from the refashioned gauntlets flowing to and slightly lengthening the cursed martial artist's nails and imbuing them with the same hue. The redhead's hair changed little as the transformation sequence neared its completion, although her streaming tresses did weave themselves together into dozens of waist-length braids encircled by crimson, finely forged rings. Then, finally, the last of the scintillations collected at the rainbow crest on her forehead and became a tiara composed of seven intricate and interwoven bands, each one corresponding to a color of the rainbow.

All at once, the flower petals and gleaming armor flared as a well-timed beam of light shone done from the heavens on the newly transformed and upgraded practitioner of Pretty Magical Girl Martial Arts as her spinning came to a sudden and complete stop and she opened her multi-colored eyes. "I am Razzle Dazzle Ranko, the Magical Knight of Valor!" she announced defiantly to the world, hands going to her hips in a gesture of supreme confidence. "And in the name of all that is righteous under the rainbow, I'm going to kick some ass!"

One could have heard a pin drop in the silence that followed Ranma-chan's uncouth and distinctly non-magical girlish pronouncement...had a silence actually followed and had Ifurita and Ryouga's furious exchange not been generating more noise than a military air show combined with a giant monster rampage times the screams of Playstation 3 owners when they learned that Final Fantasy XIII was going cross-platform. Nonetheless, the talented Saotome heir wasted no time in acting to match words to deeds and promptly jumped high into the air, converting her upward momentum into elegant somersaults as she left the ground far behind. Not even a patented martial arts leap of ridiculous heights was enough to reach the Demon God and Lost Boy, however, but the armored redhead didn't let this bother her as gravity seized her because a solution and accompanying incantation were already forming in her head.

"Razzle Dazzle Rainbow Road!"

Her next flip and downward trajectory were abruptly terminated as her boots slammed into a solid streak of violet light that instantly materialized below them and then vanished just as quickly as Ranma-chan catapulted off it and onto an indigo beam that she willed into existence. Springboarding from that strip to blue, green, yellow, orange, red, and then back to violet rays as the series of colored bands repeated themselves, the Saotome heir set sail through the sky and bravely hurtled herself towards the epic battle of destiny that awaited!

"PLASMA RAIN!"

But as Ifurita's summoned hailstorm of blue, ionized death rained down even before Ranma-chan joined the fight, Shogi couldn't help but wonder if his charge's presence would make any difference at all. That, and where the best place to hide but still safely watch the fight could be found.

"I would complain about this not being in my contract," the black and white canine muttered unhappily, head darting back and forth as he examined his surroundings and took off running just as the Demon God's azure orbs smashed into and vaporized the ground behind him, "but it was and now I owe Kuroyo a thousand yen. So, in the words of my mother's master..."

"SAOTOME RANMA, THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!"

* * *

Author's Notes: To everyone who's stayed with this story and left well-intentioned feedback, it is much appreciated. You've been a big encouragement and an inspiration as I've crafted this tale of mine, and the impact you've had on the story itself has been enormous. I don't know where this work of fiction would be without all of you, and with the conclusion hopefully only another update away (assuming I actually manage to stick to the plan for once) I want to thank you for sharing this journey with me. It has been a lot of fun and full of surprises, and I'm glad I'm doing this.

Anyway, on a different matter, some of you might be wondering why this story is still in the Ranma 1/2 category despite having become a mega-crossover of sorts. My answer to that question is that I personally consider "Magical Girl Ranko vs. Z-Fighter Ryouga" to be a Ranma 1/2 fan fiction with crossover elements rather than a crossover with Ranma 1/2 characters. Ranma and Ryouga are the stars of this story and their rivalry the focus, and while the crossover elements give the tale a lot of its character and humor they are secondary to the main plot which is, simply put, the ridiculous heights (or depths) Ranma and Ryouga will take their competition to. Besides, how would I even classify this story under 's system anyway? :)

Also, in case anyone is curious, here's the list of techniques and powers Ifurita has used from other series thus far. It'll probably grow substantially in the next installment.

Falcon Punch = the signature move of Captain Falcon of Super Smash Bros. and F-Zero fame. Like the Mikuru Beam, it's become an internet meme and possibly even a pop culture reference. I should also acknowledge CanadianHeMan's Youtube series, "Falcon Punch vs. Mikuru Bream," which inspired the similar scene in this story.

Omnislash Version 6 = Cloud Strife's ultimate limit break in Final Fantasy VII Advent Children Complete. Different from the Omnislash Version 5 shown in the earlier release of Final Fantasy VII Advent Children.

Optic Blast = Cyclops' mutant power from X-men. Yes, I know, it has been pointed out to me that Ifurita shouldn't be able to duplicate bloodbounded skills and under normal circumstances that might be right...but _this_ Ifurita has learned how to create synthetic DNA! Um...yeah, something like that anyway so be prepared for artificial midi-chlorians in the next chapter! (cackles)

Dark Eternal = a triple tech from the RPG Chrono Trigger.

Plasma Rain = a powerful spell of Lucia's from one of my favorite RPGs, Lunar 2: Eternal Blue Complete.


	7. Chapter 5 Part 2

Title: Magical Girl Ranko vs. Z-Fighter Ryouga

Author: Rowan Seven

Teaser: Magical Girl Ranko and Z-Fighter Ryouga vs. Demon God Ifurita. Yes, the fate of the world is at stake and no, I'm not going to change the title.

Disclaimer: Ranma 1/2, Dragonball Z, Sailor Moon, Looney Tunes, El-Hazard, and any other series I mention belong to their respective creators and copyright holders, as do the characters and settings in this story that don't belong to me. I make no claims to any of them and am making no financial profit from writing this story.

Author's Notes: Marked with (#) and posted at the end.

* * *

Chapter 5 Part 2 – The Battle Goes On!...And On...And On...And- Oh, You get the Picture!

Had any humans remained in Tokyo's hurriedly evacuated Shinagawa Ward, they would have likely been running away as if their very lives depended on it – in no small part because their lives _did_ – without sparing the time to look behind them at the destruction consuming the city. If there had been any stragglers, however, and assuming they did glance backwards these unlucky dawdlers would have been treated to a sight not seen in the world since the mythical ages of gods. Blue and green flames danced across the sky as the earth shook with enough force to send buildings collapsing to their foundations. Nature itself shrieked and howled in protest at the cataclysm taking place, lightning flashing, thunder booming, and gale force winds screaming across ground zero in a frantic plea for the destruction to stop, but the appeal went unheeded by the two titans at the heart of the conflict.

To say Hibiki Ryouga and the Demon God Ifurita fought each other would be an understatement. At this intensity and with the horrific powers being unleashed, even "war" was a questionable descriptor. Fist slammed into fist and knee crashed into knee with such mind-numbingly great force and unfathomable speed that not even the Lost Boy could follow the action as he battered his opponent's defenses with all his might and was, in turn, equally tested. The two enemies circled and spun around each other, darting in and out of each other's reach as they soared through the air like two battling comets, locked in an intricate dance of skill and strategy that if it had been a game of chess grandmasters would have been in awe of. In that sense it was a beautiful way for the world to end, but on another level it was absolutely and horribly _wrong_...particularly for the young Hibiki upon whose shoulders the future seemingly depended on.

_Damn it!_, Ryouga thought to himself angrily as his blue-gray eyed opponent blocked his punch and knocked his right arm aside with a rapid twirl and jab of her key staff. He leaned to the side just in time to escape having his heart ripped from his shirtless chest as the Demon God's free hand lashed out and narrowly brushed against his waist instead, leaving bloody marks that would become permanent scars later if there even was a later for him. The Lost Boy had never fought better than he was now and was so far in the colloquial 'zone' that he wasn't just at his A-game – he was at his triple A to the power of x game. However, despite this and his apparent parity with his opponent at the moment Ryouga knew that even with the help of exponential equations he was still outmatched. There was a certain controlled precision to Ifurita's movements that, when compared to his own frenetic efforts, made it abundantly clear who held the true advantage here, and this knowledge infuriated him. Bad enough that he was in over his head with so much at stake, but to be _toyed with_ as well by his opponent? Such an insult would not go unpunished!

The two fighters crashed through a high-rise apartment complex, the walls not slowing them down in the slightest as what remained of the building after the initial impact collapsed behind them. The scene of devastation was briefly highlighted by a bolt of lightning, but even before the accompanying boom of thunder ensued it was drowned out by the agonizing sound of the Demon God's stave smacking against her opponent's side, changing his trajectory from horizontal to vertical so quickly the bandana-wearing martial artist would have experienced massive whiplash had his monstrous conditioning not prepared him for such instances. He turned around just in time to block Ifurita's punch with an upraised arm as she shot behind him, and then he lashed out himself with a left hand shrouded in his brilliantly green ki. As he'd expected, the Demon God swung her key staff down to inflict serious injury on the newly extended limb, but in the second before the counter-attack connected the Lost Boy's aura rushed to the palm of his hand and he unleashed a point-blank ki blast. The explosive force hurled both of them backwards, but as Ryouga had anticipated it he recovered a thousandth of a second earlier. Pouring all of his power and concentration into speed, he flew straight at his opponent faster than he'd ever soared before and quicker than he could possibly exert fine control over. In the fraction of a millisecond that passed Ifurita's blue-grey eyes widened slightly at the sight of the human missile, and the young martial artist felt a grin form as he neared his target-

-and then soared by harmlessly as Ifurita vanished!

A moment later the Lost Boy came to an abrupt and torturous halt as a vice-like hand clamped around his neck. Even with his training, it was all he could do not to pass out as his internal organs caught up with the termination of his velocity and a wave of nausea swept over him. He tried to move and quickly raised his hands to pry himself free, but the Demon God's grip was unbreakable and its owner remained stationary despite the desperate exertions of his ki. When Ifurita finally spoke it was almost a relief, as her soft but inhumanly cold voice gave his consciousness something else to focus on other than the immense pain.

"Foolish. Overextending yourself to harm a superior opponent may be worthwhile if you know your enemy's capabilities, but to do so against an unknown adversary like myself? I expected better from a fighter of your caliber, Hibiki Ryouga." With machinelike calm, she placed the pronged bottom of her mechanical stave less than an inch behind his back. The end took on a faint blue hue as the key staff channeled an unknown but (from the young martial artist's perspective) clearly unwanted power to its bottom. "That may well be your final mistake so...any last words before eternal cessation?"

"He-heh, what can I –urk– say? Y-you...wouldn't be the f-first opponent...I've –gasp– disappointed," the Lost Boy choked out, seething at his enemy's backhanded compliment even as a desperate plan formed in his head. He tightened his grip on her hand, pretending to try harder to loosen her grasp when in reality he wanted to prevent her from escaping. "But...y-you know what's fuh-funny? You...you are –grhn– ma-making the same mis...mistake! PERFECT SHI-"

_WHOOSH!_

A rainbow blur suddenly arrived on the scene, interrupting the Lost Boy's ultimate attack with a kick aimed at Ifurita's backside. The Demon God twisted slightly and raised her charged key staff to block it, but the ridiculously long heels of the attacker's violet boots actually proved themselves useful as the mechanical stave slid into place between them and the curve of the armored footwear, allowing the new arrival to spin herself around the metal shaft to strike at the powerful android's undefended side.

"Razzle Dazzle Rainbow-"

Ifurita countered by tossing a surprised Lost Boy at the magical girl in mid-attack, and as the two youths hurtled backwards in a tangled heap the Demon God turned and carefully targeted them with the glowing end of her key staff.

"Die!"

_**Kra-KOOOOOOOM!**_

------

Jadeite frowned as the sky lit up with another explosion far away and drew Kasumi closer to himself. It was a pointless gesture for there was no need to protect her from the battle at this distance and shielding her from the sights and sounds of the horrific conflict would have required far more than a strong arm. For once, though, such foolishness didn't bother the ancient mystic and he simply let himself enjoy the feel of Kasumi in his arms. He would have to let go of her soon enough, so why not savor the moment?

He contented himself with these uncharacteristic but pleasant thoughts and the nearness of the young woman's presence for a full minute before sighing reluctantly and looking down at the lovely brunette with his penetrating blue eyes. It took him another long moment to summon the words he wanted to speak, hesitant not for his benefit but rather for hers and the desire not to trouble her though at this point that was inevitable.

"I can't stay for much longer, Kasumi. Ifurita has already opened the rift to the Void, and if she isn't stopped in the next twenty minutes it will be too late," the illusionist informed her softly, feeling a rush of distaste at the lie even though it was for her own peace of mind. Analytically, he knew that it already was too late. The odds this world now faced made a million-to-one look like a good bet, and he was certain that the two friends Kasumi spoke so highly of as well as everyone else on the planet were doomed. Her belief to the contrary was idiocy as was the faith he was placing in her, but it was a comforting falsehood nonetheless and one Jadeite was powerless to dispel her of.

"Be careful, Jadeite. There are still places in Tokyo I want to show you when this is over," Kasumi said gently, resting her head on his chest and memorizing the sound of his ancient heartbeat. Like her friend who was now more than a friend, the eldest Tendo daughter was reveling in this moment of close intimacy and enjoying the sensation of being an adored woman rather than a dutiful daughter or motherly sister. For her almost as much as him, this was unexplored territory and having discovered it together she didn't want it to stop.

"When am I not?" the former general replied with the tiniest trace of humor in his commanding voice, breathing in Kasumi's scent and committing every detail of their embrace to memory. If he was going to die he might as well keep the reason why as clear as possible. "But before I go, Kasumi, there is something I need you to promise me. It is vital that you say yes because if you don't..." He sighed again and trailed off, preferring not to dwell on that possibility.

"What is it?" the brunette asked, lifting her head to gaze at him with her beatific face and meeting his blue eyes with her soft, hazel orbs. Before, when confronted by her purehearted gaze, Jadeite had always turned aside, unable to confront such innocent beauty and freely given trust. And now...he couldn't look away.

"If...if your friends and I don't succeed and this world begins to fall into Oblivion, use this to escape," he said firmly, closing an empty fist and then opening it to reveal a seemingly plain gold band. "This ring will automatically teleport you to another world where you'll be safe should the worst occur."

In response, Kasumi smiled up at him kindly but also somewhat bemusedly. "Jadeite...I'm thankful, but we've already been over this. I won't aban-"

The mystic softly placed a finger over her lips to quiet her and gently slid the band onto her right ring finger. "I know what you said about supporting your friends and family by staying and believing in them...but please, Kasumi, let me believe in them for you by joining this battle on your behalf. Let me carry this burden for you...and let someone who loves you know that you will be safe no matter what happens next. Please, can you do this for me?"

"Jadeite...I..."

The illusionist could see it in her eyes, the reluctance to do anything that could be construed as putting herself before her family but also – _thankfully!_ – the desire to grant him his request. Not for her own sake, of course, but rather for his own, and that she was even considering accepting his gift of safety rather than staying with her loved ones to the very end was a testament to how much she cared about him. This knowledge momentarily warmed his heart of ice, but the risk of Kasumi saying no was still too great and he refused to leave this to chance. This woman had showed him that, despite his claims to the contrary, an eternity of emptiness was ultimately worth less than a moment of bliss, and Jadeite was determined to protect her.

And so, with all of these thoughts and more in mind, the last surviving general of the Dark Kingdom's armies lowered his head and kissed the woman standing in front of him. He felt her surprise as his cool lips met her warm ones and for the briefest of moments Jadeite wondered if he'd miscalculated. Such doubts vanished as Kasumi suddenly reciprocated his kiss with equal emotion, and then he stopped thinking altogether. There was no need for rational thought in this timeless act, the two souls communicating through emotions and precious human contact instead as they embraced for the first and possibly the last time.

"...Very well, Jadeite," Kasumi said softly, finally pulling back from the kiss to catch her breath as her cheeks flushed a heartwarmingly rosy red. "I promise you that I will use your ring if it comes to that...but remember, you made me a promise too when we were at Shinjuku, and I intend to hold you to it. It's not nice to break promises, after all."

"Of course," Jadeite answered solemnly, releasing the young woman from his hold with tangible reluctance. "If there is one person I would do anything to see again, it would be you. You have my word." Which, he thought almost reprovingly to himself, isn't worth a thing. He had told so many lies on so many worlds that truth had become less than a stranger to him until he'd met Kasumi, and ironically now that he'd encountered a woman with whom he could be honest she demanded that which he could not do. Still, as long as she was happy and safe, none of that mattered.

"And now I must go," the former general said gently, brushing an errant strand of brown hair away from the front of Kasumi's face with his right hand. "If things go as you hope, I'll meet you back at your house when this is over. You can introduce me to your family again since your father seemed a bit...distracted the last time." For both their benefits, Jadeite didn't mention what would happen if things didn't go as she hoped. "Thank...thank you for believing in me, Kasumi. You're the first person in all my memory who ever has. I'm...glad I met you. Farewell."

Kasumi watched Jadeite intently as the blond man turned and stoically walked away from her, an emotional but uncharacteristically unreadable expression on her face. Within a minute the ancient mystic was gone and out of sight around a corner, and the brunette released a breath she hadn't even realized she'd been holding. Slowly, she turned as well and contemplated the fastest ways to return home, but other thoughts and ideas quickly made themselves known with a grip on her heart that was impossible to ignore. Glancing behind her once in the direction Jadeite had departed, Kasumi took one step forward...and then turned to the side and bolted for the nearest street with a look of sheer resolve on her features that would have surprised many who knew her. She just hoped Jadeite wouldn't be upset when he found out what she was doing, because while it wasn't nice to break promises as she'd said earlier...neither was letting someone you cared about confront their problems on their own.

"Taxi!"

------

Ryouga and Ranma-chan separated just in time for Ifurita's crackling energy blast to pass between them, the azure power sphere continuing on to disappear over the horizon and across the ocean a few seconds later. The two martial artists then finally came to a stop, one with a trail of emerald green ki and the other on a platform of solid violet light, as the sky behind them erupted in a brilliant cerulean flash and a wave of water. The gravity of the sight was lost on the pair of rivals, however, and they turned to regard each other with relief at being alive and thoughts of cooperation far from their minds.

"RANNNMAAA! What did I tell you about getting in my way?!!"

"_Your_ way?! Idiot, saving your LIFE is more like it, and correct me if I'm wrong but who was slammed into who there?"

"Only because a certain outclassed martial artist interfered when I was about to unleash a Perfect Shi-"

"Ha! Like you'd really have had time to complete the attack before Ifurita vaporized you with her staff, P-chan! Face it, you're-"

_**ZZZAZZZK! ZZZAZZZK! ZZZAZZZK!**_

The two rivals hastily soared and leapt around the Demon God's follow-up attacks, glaring at the lilac-haired woman for interrupting their argument as more bursts of light flared over the horizon. For a moment their irritation with each other waned in the face of the escalating threat taking potshots at them, but not even their currently shared danger was enough to coerce more than momentary amity between the two headstrong youths...at least not until Ifurita escalated the conflict.

"EBONY ANNIHILATION!"

The unholy orb that materialized out of nothingness in front of the android's free hand was dark purple instead of black, but that took away nothing from its awful splendor. Now having her opponents' full and undivided attention, the Demon God narrowed her eyes and sent an unseen signal to the mystical globe which suddenly shot towards Ranma-chan and Ryouga with an unnatural roar, crackling threateningly with eldritch power as it consumed the air in its path and grew larger and larger. The two martial artists wisely turned to flee but the black magic sphere exploded before it ever reached them, releasing an even faster shockwave of electrified mystical energies that enveloped the two rivals in its torturous wake. For a few agonizing seconds Earth's defenders experienced the sensation of every cell in their bodies assaulted by hostile magic as the explosion carried them out over the ocean and then, much to their great relief, the onslaught dissipated back into the nothingness from whence it came.

A scorched Ranma-chan immediately conjured an orange platform on which she limply landed. Beside her, an equally fried Ryouga exhaustedly summoned his ki to halt his own descent. Slowly and each being careful to keep an eye pointed in the direction of Shinagawa Ward just in case there were any more surprises on the way, the two rival martial artists turned to regard each other again, this time thoughtfully.

"You know, P-chan, much as I hate to say it I suppose I _could_ use a _tiny_ bit of help on this one...just ta speed things up, you understand?" The armored redhead was clearly unhappy as she made this suggestion, crossing her arms and watching her rival with unmistakable disdain. "It's not that I need or even _want_ your help or anything, but hey – I'm _so_ confident I can win this on my own that I don't mind sharing some of the action. Plus, the sooner this ends and the world is saved the sooner we can get back to more important things, like our own duel!"

The Eternal Wanderer sized up the magical girl/knight/gods-he-hoped-she-didn't-transform-into-a-singing-idol-next contemptuously but found himself agreeing with her on the level of his brain that dealt with common sense which, with the fate of the world at stake, was overriding the more typical "attack Ranma now and sort things out later" response. "Huh. Not that I _need_ your help either, Ranma, but you just might have a good point there. If it'll let us get back to our own fight quicker I suppose I wouldn't mind a _little_ assistance, but get this straight, Ranma – the second Ifurita's defeated our battle resumes! Not even a demon god's going to keep me from my vengeance a moment later than necessary!"

"Hah! In your dreams Ryouga!" Ranma-chan taunted confidently, leaning forward and preparing to vault back to the battlefield. "By the time I'm through with you you'll be BEGGING for mercy and'll offer to buy me all the ice cream I want just to placate my wrath!" The magical girl's face briefly twitched with irritation at her recurring lapse, but then she remembered that she liked ice cream and the words would rile up her rival anyway so it was all good in the end.

For his part, Ryouga jumped to the wrong conclusion again just as Ranma-chan had expected and aimed a glower at the redhead that could have shattered rocks more effectively than the Bakusai Tenketsu. "After all this time you're STILL after my food, Ranma? Grr...for your sake, you better hope Ifurita is tough enough for the both of us because once she's defeated I'll make you pay for _every_ lunch you stole from me in blood and tears!"

"Only if you catch me, P-chan!" the Saotome heir called out tauntingly, beginning her dash back to the city as she leapt and ran from one translucent conjured platform to another after another. "Try to keep up if you can, 'cause I'm not slowing down for your benefit!"

The Lost Boy fumed for a moment and then responded by rocketing off with his green ki in a horizontal trajectory that rapidly brought him to the magical girl's side as they returned to Shinagawa Ward. "Don't get ahead of yourself, Ranma! If anyone's going to be struggling to keep up with someone else, it'll be you in that silly skirt trying to keep up-"

_Kra-VROOSH!_

"-with me," Ifurita spoke calmly, finishing Ryouga's sentence for him as she nonchalantly materialized between the two martial artists. Ranma-chan gaped and immediately pivoted on one leg to send a spinning kick at the android, but the lilac-haired woman merely shook her head reproachfully at the attack and seized the incoming leg by the ankle. Simultaneously, the android pointed her key staff at her other opponent who was responding to her sudden appearance by aiming a fist at her head and summoned a corridor of wind that buffeted him with irresistible force. The young Hibiki's brown eyes widened in alarm as the gale ripped away his control over his own flight and, acting on reflex, braced himself as he was sent crashing into the crater he and Ranma-chan had carved out with their earlier battle and enlarged fighting their present enemy.

**THUD!**

To the Lost Boy's credit, he immediately dug himself out of the extra meters of depth he'd added to the crater's bottom and promptly launched himself upward again to rejoin the fight, but the earth around the manmade pit's perimeter was faster. At Ifurita's invisible direction, the rock and concrete of Shinawaga's ruined block took on a liquid quality and rose up like a wave to wash over Ryouga from all directions. The young martial artist didn't even have time to scream before he was engulfed in a geologic tsunami and buried in the landslide.

"A pity," Ifurita commented levelly, dealing with her female opponent by effortlessly flicking her aside. "I had hoped that giving the two of you a respite would improve your tactics, but I have yet to see any increase in-"

"Oh shut up!" Ranma-chan interrupted rudely, using her Rainbow Road technique to create a red aerial platform and instantly spring back at the Demon God who dodged the ensuing assault of blindingly fast kicks and punches easily. "I'm _fed up_ with your hot air, Ifurita! 'You two disappoint me.' 'Not good enough.' 'You don't stand a blah-blah-blah," the magical girl mocked, vaulting off a violet disk to continue pressing the attack. "Well, I've got a newsflash for ya, you nihilistic freak! Despite all your _talk_ and efforts to send me to an early grave I'm still alive and ticking, and if you knew bacon bits down there half as well as I unfortunately do you'd know it takes a heck of a lot more than a few measly pebbles to take him out of a fight!"

At these words, Ifurita's lips curved upwards in the tiniest sign of a smirk. "Good. I'm counting on that."

"Huh? What d'ya-"

_**Krackle-Krackle-Kra-KOOOOOOOM!**_

Had Ryouga's voice not been muffled by the crater of rubble he was buried in and the Demon God and rainbow-themed magical girl not been hundreds of yards above the ground, the two women might have heard his familiar cry of Bakusai Tenketsu. Instead, they heard the more impressive sound of the rocky debris shattering into thousands of shards and the thrumming of the Lost Boy's ki as he erupted out of the exploding ground and took to the sky with a look of absolute fury on his face.

"IFURITA, PREPARE TO DIE!!!"

That elicited a cold, mirthless chuckle from the Demon God, and she turned to face the resurgent Hibiki and raised her right arm at the last possible microsecond to block his enraged punch. The force behind the blow could have shattered a small moon, but it didn't so much as budge the android as she twirled her key staff behind her in an intricate, unfollowable pattern that thwarted all of her other opponent's strikes.

"I tried that once, human, but as you can clearly see death refused me," she told the snarling Lost Boy, a hint of menace creeping into her otherwise controlled voice. "I would have said that's a pity ages ago, but now I have a mission to fulfill and you two-" She instantly disappeared without leaving so much as an afterimage or even a flicker behind and reappeared just as suddenly a dozen yards above the two martial artists. "-ARE IN MY WAY!"

The axe-shaped top of Ifurita's key staff flashed red while the pronged bottom took on a blue hue as the android twirled it one more time, unleashing a vortex of fire and water at the displaced Z-Fighter and magical girl. The two barely managed to dodge the tunnel of diametrically opposed forces and it careened on past them to become the tenth-plus disaster to smash into Shinagawa Ward that day, sending actuaries around the world into paroxysms and giving this battle a serious chance of making it into Tokyo's record books. Ranma-chan and Ryouga paid these details no mind, however. Sparing just enough time to look at the other and confirm that they were both operating on the same page, they simultaneously charged at their enemy. Unfortunately for them, this second was all the time Ifurita needed to prepare her next attack.

"Too slow!" the manmade destroyer of men who appropriately enough was a woman shouted as her key staff crackled with blue, red, and green energies. Immediately, a massive orb with a fiery core surrounded by an aquatic surface that was ringed by tiny cyclones of green wind materialized below the stave's pronged end, and with one swift downward thrust the android sent the combined powers of fire, water, and wind hurtling down at her foes.

Surprisingly enough considering their earlier squabbles, however, Ryouga and Ranma-chan got around this newest obstacle by _cooperating_, albeit in their own distinctive manner. The fanged Hibiki rammed a palm into his rival's green plated chest as she drove a roundhouse kick into his side, the strength behind these blows allowing the two defenders of Earth to rapidly change course. Ryouga took advantage of this by circling around the self-contained natural disaster as he summoned two buzz-saw shaped ki projectiles above the palms of his hands. In contrast, Ranma-chan converted her momentum into a backwards somersault and then launched into an angled series of cartwheels, creating colored disks beneath her hands and feet wherever necessary as she put some distance between herself and Ifurita. The elemental orb continued its descent but, unnoticed by the two martial artists, incrementally slowed to eventually reverse course.

"Refuse these if you can, demon! Destructo Disks!" Ryouga yelled, sending the green blades of ki he'd generated at his opponent's neck and torso with a flick of his wrists.

"As you wish," Ifurita replied simply. Without further aplomb, her free hand lashed out with incomprehensible speed to grab the higher serrated disk around its edges and then, with a 90 degree rotation of the wrist, swung the blade down to bisect its twin. In a burst of green light the two Destructo Disks fizzled out harmlessly.

"Keep that up and people might think you actually have a sense of humor," Ryouga growled angrily, abruptly veering away as Ifurita casually shot a few narrow laser blasts his way from her key staff. All of them missed – _barely_ – but they kept the Lost Boy distracted long enough for the Demon God's earlier elemental attack to complete its return. An azure glow spied out of the corner of his eyes in between dodging lasers was the only warning the fanged martial artist got that he was about to find himself between a natural disaster and barrage of photonic beams, but before he could curse and contemplate whether being tenderized, drowned, and cooked would be less painful than having a gaping hole seared through his body he heard a noise that let him know help was on the way. More specifically, he heard a loud whirring sound familiar to any fan of a certain chakram-throwing warrior princess (or, in Ryouga's case, those who spent an entire day trying to escape from a convention hosted by aforementioned fans) as Ranma-chan's tiara spun through the air and sliced a path through the elemental sphere, detonating it prematurely as the crown emerged out the other side and soared on straight at Ifurita.

**Ka-DOOOOOOOM!!!**

The Demon God didn't so much as blink as her attack exploded in a blossom of primary colors that the now saved Lost Boy dove behind, nor did she pay much attention to the rapidly approaching projectile beyond casually knocking it aside with her right arm when it drew close enough. "You'll have to do better than that, Ran-"

"Razzle Dazzle Rainbow Rings-" the magical girl suddenly shouted, raising her left hand theatrically above her head and performing a single pirouette on the disk she stood on. As she spun, the bands that comprised her deflected tiara separated to form seven rings that matched her familiar prismatic color scheme. The multiplied projectiles then immediately circled back to surround Ifurita. She raised a lilac eyebrow at the development as Ranma-chan completed her rotation and artistically brought her hand down in a slicing motion.

"-Release!"

**ZSHA-ZSHA-ZSHA-ZSHA-ZSHA-ZSHA-ZAAAM! **

The seven rings unleashed seven matching beams of colored magical might that incinerated the space between them and their target as they approached Ifurita from all sides, shining with the intensity of a heroic magical girl heart. In the second between their release and impact the brave Saotome grinned triumphantly and briefly appeared to sparkle with the glow of anticipated victory, but the Demon God was far from finished. Moving at speeds that put even her theretofore observed best on this world to shame, the ancient weapon raised her key staff high above her head and shouted the name of her next attack in the instant before the beams of light would have connected.

"ULTIMA!"

The emerald nimbus that suddenly materialized was so bright that Ranma-chan needed to raise a hand to shield her eyes as it crashed into the rainbow beams and effortlessly reduced them to colored bits of dust that sputtered out in the first gust of wind. The green corona continued to expand until it collided with the seven rings of the magical girl's tiara, knocking the firing projectiles back more than twenty yards through sheer overwhelming might before winking out of existence as if it had never been there. As the seven bands retreated through the air they reunited and reassembled back into the original tiara which promptly returned to its owner who reached out to grab it, grimacing at the newest setback. The Saotome heir twisted her wrist as if she was going to hurl the circlet again, making sure the android concentrated on her to defend against the next planned attack...and then she placed the tiara back on her forehead and frantically leapt backwards as a different type of green light shined down from above. Ifurita took her eyes off the retreating redhead long enough to look up at the massive ki blast now hurtling down at her.

"Your coordination is getting better," Ifurita remarked in a flat monotone, rising to meet the sinking viridian sun. "But it still won't do you any good." With a second and less than a foot of distance separating her from the attack, the female titan's voluptuous form suddenly blurred as she accelerated and – much to the Lost Boy's amazement – _tunneled through_ the spiritual projectile. It exploded harmlessly behind her in a brilliant flash as she shot out of the opposite end to meet her unprepared opponent, a blue aura erupting around her right fist as she channeled power to it.

"METSU SHORYUKEN!"

"Gah!" Ryouga spat, bile and blood escaping from his mouth as the Demon God drove the dragon uppercut deep into his sternum and launched him uncontrollably upwards. Only sheer force of will prevented him from blacking out as agony flooded his mind and a new diagonal, chest-length scar joined the several other streaks of abused flesh his opponent had marred him with. He desperately attempted to focus and gather his aura to redirect his flight, but Ifurita didn't give him the time he needed to concentrate past the pain. Instead, in true Dragonball fashion she reappeared behind him and slammed her key staff into his back, batting him in the opposite direction. Only Ranma-chan's quick actions as she sprang across the sky and grabbed him by the ankle prevented him from crashing into the ground yet again that day.

"Yo Ryouga! Pull yourself together before I drop you!" the Saotome heir called out, dragging the Lost Boy behind her with one hand as she darted through the air and, acting on her magical girl reflexes, dodged the laser beams their mutual enemy was now firing at her. "Bad enough that I have to cover for your deadweight in this battle without actually carrying it too!"

"Sh-shut up, Ranma!" Ryouga growled, the fires of his deep-seated hatred for his rival temporarily clearing away the fog of agony that threatened to cover his mind. "You're –ugh– not doing any better than I am, so unless you have some brilliant plan to turn things around drop the insults and make with the fighting! You're not doing anyone any good just running around in a short skirt!"

"Ha! So once again it's up to me to save the day, right? I wouldn't have it any other way!" Ranma-chan answered cockily, swinging her partner to her side and bringing him in close so they could whisper to each other. Her rival's eyes widened slightly at what she said, but after a moment he nodded grimly in agreement. The redhead then let him go and they separated as Ifurita switched from photons to electricity and hurled a bolt of lightning at them.

"Enough of this!" Ryouga shouted furiously, glaring at the Demon God with enough venom in his gaze to pass for a new lethal Australian animal species. "No one treats Hibiki Ryouga lightly and gets away with it! You're going down, demon! Tri-Form!" Two identical Lost Boys shot out of the Wanderer's sides, each one wearing a matching glower.

"What he said," Ranma-chan remarked with a smirk, leaping and then launching into an acrobatic somersault. In mid-flip she opened her mouth again. "Also, Razzle Dazzle Rainbow Reflection!"

For a brief instant, the magical girl's figure became pure light. And then there was an even briefer but stylish flash, and where one redhead had been there were now seven, each wearing a differently monochromatic colored version of the same mystical knight uniform. Predictably, each copy matched a color of the rainbow, and as one Violet, Indigo, Blue, Green, Yellow, Orange, and Red Ranma-chans landed with aplomb on correspondingly colored platforms, twirled, and pointed at their opponent with reproachful fingers.

"By the seven colors of the rainbow and in the name of valor, we will punish you!" they declared in perfect unison, self-righteousness multiplied by seven with conviction strong enough to send a moral relativist screaming into the night. "For great justice!"

Ifurita cocked her head to the side curiously at this pronouncement, watching her proliferated opponents with what passed for amusement on her features. "Do you two really think this changes anything?" she asked superiorly, blue-gray eyes narrowing into tiny, dangerous slits. "Whether it is ten to one or one _hundred_ to one, you cannot defeat me. You're not even delaying the inevitable, since the countdown to Armageddon continues unimpeded."

"Talk-" "Talk-" "Talk!" Violet, Indigo, and Blue Ranma-chans scoffed. "And-" "more-" "talk!" Green, Yellow, and Orange Ranma-chans continued, letting Red Ranma-chan finish. "If that's all you're good for, then we've already got this fight in the bag! Hey Ryouga, how about we show our emotively-challenged 'friend' what we can do when we have numbers on our side?"

"Sounds good to me, Ranma," the three Ryougas answered in unison, cracking their knuckles as they grinned fiercely at their opponent. "Shall I start or do you want to do ladies first?"

The seven cloned magical girls rolled their eyes at the implicit insult. "All of us at once, _P-chan_, assuming you can keep up!"

"That won't-" "be a-" "problem," the Eternally Lost trio replied smugly, watching their colorful partners out of the corner of their eyes. And then, as some unseen signal passed between the ten warriors, they bellowed their battle-cries and charged as one at their now vastly outnumbered enemy. Somehow, they all remained in perfect coordination as they surrounded and assaulted the Demon God, Lost Boys and magical girls linking their attacks together and cooperating to take advantage of every angle of combat...but, once again, all to no avail.

"As you can see, I'm good at far more than just words, Ranma," Ifurita spoke calmly, arms, legs, and key staff a blur of motion as they moved in every conceivable direction and a few inconceivable ones too. Every fist was parried, every kick turned aside, and every ki and magical projectile deflected with a speed and energy that could have been called frantic had she not been so clearly in control of the battle. "I can read your every movement down to the subatomic particles within your bodies. Predicting your next attacks is child's play. You can't win, not like this...and especially not if I do this!"

The deadly android snapped the fingers of her right hand, releasing a wave of invisible telekinetic force that battered her opponents back. At the same time, however, the trio of Ryougas lifted their hands to their sides and cupped them together as the seven Ranma-chans raised their left knees. Strangely, the world around the eleven combatants seemed to darken as three tiny green orbs and a septuplicate of rainbow sparkles appeared in the hands of the human fighters, accompanied by an almost reverent, anticipatory hush-

"Kamehameha!"

"Razzle Dazzle Rainbow Ray!"

-that was brutally shattered by the fierce roar of Turtle Destruction Waves and the effervescent warbling of rainbow-hued beams as Z-Fighter Ryouga and Magical Girl Ranko unleashed their signature moves simultaneously from ten directions. Even Ifurita's artificial eyes winced at the display of painfully brilliant light as the attacks drew near, and for the first time that fight she looked slightly off-guard as she hastily started to raise her free hand in what looked like a warding gesture. She had just opened the outstretched palm of her hand in front of her chest when-

**Ka-DOOOOOOOM!!!**

Even though they'd braced for it, the force of the explosion still sent all ten fighters hurtling backwards as the space at the center of the detonation went nova. And then, there was only sound and fury and light and might as the powers of spirit and soul swept over Shinagawa Ward, finally finishing the job Ryouga and Ranma-chan had started what seemed like an eternity ago to the two martial artists. With frightening speed the destructive aftershock of color and energy swallowed city block after city block, covering kilometers in seconds and stopping just shy of the next closest district where it finally died out. There was a long, pregnant silence interrupted only by the sound of shifting, settling debris and then – with one notable exception – the smoke and clouds of dust parted to reveal nothing but ruin as far as the human eye could see.

"Did we –gasp– did we get her?" one of the three Lost Boys asked, panting from the exertion of stopping his backward flight and the exhaustion of the long, taxing battle. He eyed the single remaining giant cloud of dust where Ifurita had been warily, suspense gnawing at him. As a Z-Fighter he'd seen this scene countless times before and knew how it usually went, but there was still always the hope that this time would be different and the woman they'd been fighting didn't seem to be the type to favor dramatic draw outs. His cursed and (in his opinion) ridiculously colorful rivals, however, shared none of his caution.

"Ha! Of course we did, Ryouga! If she'd teleported we'd know it by now, and there's no way ANYONE could be hit by all that and be fine, not even if they're a god!" Red Ranma-chan answered, voice brimming with the Saotome's trademark confidence.

"Yeah, P-chan. We all know you're pathetic, but that's no reason to doubt _my_ power!" Green Ranma-chan added, unwilling to pass up the chance to tease her skeptical nemesis as she pulled down her lower right eyelid with her pinky and stuck out her tongue at him.

Yellow Ranma-chan rolled her eyes at her counterpart's antics while Indigo Ranma-chan crossed her arms over her chest smugly. "And now with that _tiny inconvenience_ taken care of, it's time we finished our own duel, Ryouga!" she announced eagerly. "As I said before Ifurita got in the way, I won't rest until I've punished you for the hell you've put me through! Prepare to-"

"The _hell_ I've put_ you_ through? Gr...don't talk to me about suffering, Ranma! You can't even begin to imagine the torture I've experienced because of you!" the Ryouga closest to the yellow magical girl interrupted with a mixture of incredulity and anger in his voice. The other two Lost Boys attempted to glare at their rival but, stymied by there being too many copies of the Saotome heir to glare at all at once, settled for a smoldering, inclusive glower instead. "When I'm through with you, not even your _own father_ will be able to recognize the remains!"

"Feh, as if my old man can recognize anything that doesn't have yen signs in it anyway! Besides, I'd be more worried about your own welfare, _P-chan_! There are seven of me and only three of you, and you've already shed enough blood for all ten of us! Are you really _that_ sloppy, Ryouga, or just a glutton for punishment? Considering how much you like Akane, I think I know which one it is!"

"RAAANMAAA! There isn't a word in the Japanese language to describe just how vile-"

"Sure there is! You're just too dumb to know it!"

"Grrr! Sh-shut up, you one-man cross-dressing freakshow!"

"Make me, you Eternally Lost pork-chop!"

"Why you-"

As Indigo Ranma-chan and the nearest Ryouga's war of words escalated, the rest of the assorted menagerie of cloned martial artists noticed that the cloud of dust at aerial ground zero had stopped billowing and now, in complete opposition to gravity, was standing perfectly still. Doubting that this forebode anything positive for them, they started to exchange worried looks and moved closer to their arguing doubles. There was strength in unity, after all, even if two of them were seconds away from murdering each other.

"-third-rate, imitative hack of a martial artist who's so blinded by pride you couldn't admit defeat even if it killed you!"

"I know you are, but what am I?"

"Argh! That's _so_ immature of you, Ranma, but I guess I'd be an idiot if I expected you to act more mature than the childish little girl you are!"

"Well, at least you got the idiot part right!"

"Gr! Cross-dressing-"

"Ha, you already said that one, Ryouga! It looks like you're even less creative with insults than you are with your fighting style!"

"Ranma, you-"

"Entertaining as your little lover's quarrel may be, the two- apologies, the _ten_ of you don't have time for it."

The arguing Z-Fighter and magical girl immediately froze as this new and unpleasantly familiar female voice interrupted their verbal exchange. With horrified looks on their faces, they swiftly turned to regard the motionless shroud of dust that suddenly looked much more ominous than it had just a few seconds ago. And then, as if they had been waiting for this moment, five edges of brilliant azure light sliced through the cloud and began to rotate, parting the particulate veil to expose the unharmed form of Ifurita. She stood calm and poised, the five blades of luminous, holy light spinning around an invisible point in front of her ample bosom and curving backwards to protect her from all sides.

"Light Hawk Wings – a defensive energy construct that some naively regard as proof of a goddess's favor," the Demon God explained patiently, lightly thrumming her fingers over the shaft of her key staff. "A false belief, but their effectiveness as shields is almost unmatched. And while I could have weathered your attack without them, why should I give you the satisfaction of scoring a solid hit when your performances thus far have been so piteously disappointing?" The coldness of her voice dropped to even more frigid levels as she extended the palm of her free hand out in front of her, the tips of her fingers crackling with electricity. "For your sakes, I hope you can do better because this isn't even the tip of the iceberg for me."

For once, Ranma-chan, Ryouga, and their many duplicates were in complete agreement with each other. "Oh shi-"

"FORCE STORM!"

A flurry of unnatural lightning bolts surged forth out of Ifurita's hand, weaving through the sky to strike every one of her opponents dead center in the chest. Instead of disappearing in a flash, however, the arcs of electricity swelled as the deadly android pumped more dark power into the onslaught. Within seconds the ten martial artists knew nothing but agony so overwhelming it completely shattered the concentration they'd been using to maintain their duplicates. Convulsing, the three Ryougas collapsed back into one as the seven Ranma-chans burst into colored light and reformed into a single figure. Only then did the Demon God finally release them from her electrical grip, and the two thoroughly thrashed youths promptly fell from the sky, too weak to keep themselves aloft any longer. Crashing into the ground didn't help them any in that regard either, but the familiar pain of falling from Standard Martial Artist Altitude(1) did clear their heads slightly of the recent Sith torture.

"Argh...st-still here, Ryouga?" Ranma-chan asked slowly, lifting a hand to push herself off the battered remains of Shinagawa Ward. Amazingly, despite some bruises and smears on her skin and dents in her armor she looked none the worse for wear, magical girl training having redirected most of the physical damage to her soul, though whether this was to her advantage or not the redhead couldn't tell. The pain she felt inside was so great that she wanted to scream hysterically without end just to release it, and only her superhuman pride was stopping her from balling her fists and blubbering her heart out. As she struggled to her feet she couldn't help but reflect that if this was how Sailor Moon and the other magical girls she'd studied felt all the time it was no wonder they were such crybabies.

"I've...I've been through worse," the Eternal Wanderer rasped out beside her, sitting up and wincing as his body let him know that pretty much everything hurt. He grimaced slightly and, ignoring the pain as best as any masochistic Z-Fighter could, feebly rose to his feet. "Though not by much, I'd say."

"Y-yeah, this fight might take the cake for me too, amazingly enough," the Saotome heir muttered with more than a little incredulity in her tone. "And here I thought nothing could top Pop's training, not that I'll give 'im the satisfaction of knowing that he was right about his teaching methods not being the worst things I'd go through in my life when th-this is over." Wobbling a little, she craned her head up to scan the sky for their Swiss army knife of an opponent. The absence of a female demon surrounded by holy light NOT about to rain death down upon them strangely did not make her feel any better.

"Yo, Ryouga, any idea where Ifurita got to? I kinda doubt she got so bored toying with us that she's returned to whatever hellhole she crawled out of, though I certainly wouldn't complain if she did."

Ryouga half-sighed, half-coughed his response. "If I know my 'facing nigh impossible odds' battles – and trust me, at this point I do – she should be appearing _behind us_ right about...now!" So saying, he clasped his two hands together into a massive fist and spun around in a clothesline...and continued spinning until he'd made a perfect circle and his fists smashed into one of the five azure blades protecting the Demon God who'd just materialized in _front_ of him.

"I see you are familiar with this set-up," Ifurita noted dryly as the Lost Boy strained futilely against the Light Hawk Wing. "But such experience will do you no good here. You cannot harm me, and I am _more than capable_ of harming you." Dispensing with further conversation, the Demon God raised her free hand and blasted her opponent with a tunnel of green wind, knocking him back over a dozen yards. She then snapped her fingers, and a prison of ice immediately formed around him from neck to toes as the water vapor in the air froze, locking him in place. He snarled as he struggled against his confines, but the prison held as the android turned to face her second enemy.

"And as for you-"

"Razzle Dazzle Rainbow Ray!"

The android almost looked bored as one of her Light Hawk Wings unfurled to block the familiar rainbow beam. "You've tried this attack before to no avail, Ranma. It won't do you any better this time-"

"REFRACTION!" the magical girl appended, left arm rising from the karate chop as her right arm traced a clockwise circle in the air before the two hands met in a loud clap. Immediately the gleaming ray vanished and reappeared behind the Demon God's azure defense, but before it could reach its target two of the Light Hawk Wings curved and elongated, criss-crossing in front of their master to effortlessly deflect the soul attack.

"-even if you modify it," Ifurita finished superiorly, a terrifying ghost of a smile forming on her alabaster features. "Though I do have to admit, your adaptation has given me an _idea_." As she said this with the cold undertones of a threat, two more holy blades materialized in front of her to increase the number of Light Hawk Wings from five to seven. At the same time each wing of light assumed a different color of the rainbow, matching the same hues the cursed redhead was bedecked in.

"Now, what's the terran expression again? Ah yes, I remember now. Time for a taste of your own medicine! Razzle Dazzle-"

There were no fancy acrobatics or pirouettes on the Demon God's part as she replicated her opponent's attack. Instead, the multi-colored Light Hawk Wings pulsed with an intensity that seemed to burn the air as they spun in front of their master, simultaneously emitting a keen, whining noise as they sliced through several higher dimensions.

"Rainbow-"

"Crap. Razzle Dazzle Rainbow RUNAWAY!" Ranma-chan shouted as, with a graceful spin, she turned around and ran for dear life. Somehow, though, she didn't get very far, and the slowness of her motions as she lifted her head to look around clued her in to the reason why: time was moving at a snail's pace, much like it had earlier when Ryouga had rescued her only now the prolonged seconds were working against her. Even worse, the world itself seemed to be growing dark, its colors dimming and fading into muted shades of gray until the only vibrancy left came from the glow of the Light Hawk Wings behind her. And if the anime the Master had tortured her psyche with was accurate on such matters, finding yourself surrounded by twilight always meant-

"Ray!"

The seven rays of light convulsed as seven matching blazes of energy raced down from the tips of the blades to the empty center around which they spun, colliding and generating a monstrous, coruscating prism beam that put all of Ranma-chan's previous efforts to shame. It roiled forward, vaporizing everything in the path of its consuming brilliance and rapidly expanding outward, it alone unaffected by the decelerated passage of seconds on the battlefield. The cursed redhead only had time to turn her head with a look of horrified realization on her face and begin to mouth silent, unheard words before the Rainbow Ray was upon her too and swept her away.

But it didn't stop there...

Ifurita's amplified prism beam continued onward, growing larger and brighter as it carved out _another_ trench through Shinagawa Ward, entered and plowed through sizable sections of Meguro and Shibuya Wards, obliterated a good chunk of Nakano, and then drew near the heart of a ward dear to her other opponent's heart. Ryouga, through some preternatural martial artist sense, realized this a second after the blast swallowed Ranma-chan, and by then it was already too late.

"Akane, NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

_**DOOOOOOOOOOM!!!**_

------

"Akane, are you feeling all right? You look a little dispirited, and I _know_ it's not because of my okonomiyaki," Ukyo asked casually, arms folded on the counter of her restaurant as she leaned over to peer at her 'competition'.

The youngest Tendo glanced up from her meal with a shy but appreciative smile on her gentle features and set down her chopsticks. "It's nothing, really! But thanks for asking...it's just, I..." For a moment she hesitated, but at heart Akane was an openhearted soul who despite her many differences with the okonomiyaki chef regarded her (sometimes unwisely) as a friend, and if she was honest with herself she'd come here in order to speak with someone who'd understand her concerns. There was no reason to be close-lipped now. "-I'm worried about Ryouga and Ranma. Ryouga's become so strong it's incredible, but Ranma seemed amazingly confident when he left school today, and those two take their rivalry so seriously. Not that I _care_ what happens to Ranma, but I still don't want to see him or Ryouga get hurt."

The dark haired young woman laughed reassuringly at this. "Oh come on, Akane. You know those two can take care of themselves. They're both too pigheaded to let anything keep them down for long, and even if one of them does get hurt he'll be fine and raring for a rematch in the morning! The only thing you should be worrying about is whether Ryouga's depression or Ranma's bruised ego will be easier to deal with."

"I...suppose you're right, Ukyo. Still, I can't help but wish those two would stop fighting already. Honestly, I know they started off on the wrong foot back in junior high, but it's just so stupid that they're still fighting over bread!" Akane stated emphatically, shaking her head in annoyance and missing the tiny sigh that escaped from Ukyo at the Tendo's obliviousness.

"Yeah, well, boys will be boys, and even Ranma-honey isn't immune," Ukyo remarked critically, mentally adding, _But he will be after I've driven it out of him with my spatula when we're married!_ "In the meantime, all you can do is put up with those two as best you can and trust that they'll be fine, though if I were you I'd talk with Ryouga once this duel is over. He's been coming to my restaurant a lot lately, and – win or lose – he seems the most willing to move beyond this childish feud he and Ranma have. Whatever training he went through to reach the level he's attained, it seems to have put a few things in better perspective for him."

That was of course a big fat lie since Ryouga was still as idiotically obsessed with defeating Ranma as ever, but if it would help get him and Akane together Ukyo had no qualms being selectively dishonest. Besides, as much as she loved her fiancé she was rooting for the Lost Boy this time since a defeated Ranma was much more likely to drive a concerned Akane away with his hurt pride – _especially_ if she was spending her time with Ryouga – thus giving her the PERFECT opportunity to win his heart by consoling him and finally prove that she was his one true soul mate.

"That might be a good idea," Akane replied somewhat optimistically, unaware of her companion's scheming. "Ryouga's a good friend, and while I haven't been able to convince him to bury the hatchet with Ranma yet maybe things'll be different after today. Until Ranma returned, Ryouga did seem less interested in him than usual so I suppose that's sort of a promising sign. And it's not as if it's going to take something like the end of the world to get those two to finally set their differences aside."

"Ha, I'd certainly hope not, but you never know with those two, Akane," Ukyo joked with a smile. "Them joining hands and singing songs of friendship just might be one of the signs of the Apocalypse. Still, that's no reason to- say, do you hear a rumbling noise?"

Akane's forehead creased in concern as she anxiously nodded her head and looked up and around. "Yeah, I wonder what it could be. It seems to be getting louder and-" Her eyes doubled in size as she caught a glimpse of approaching incandescent light through the windows of the restaurant. Acting on reflex, she immediately dived over the counter and tackled her friend, taking shelter with her behind the wooden structure.

"Ukyo, quick! Is there a basement or anything we can-"

_**DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!**_

------

Soun and Genma-panda eyed each other with such intensity one could almost see lines of force erupt as their gazes clashed. Their friendship had weathered many tests during their long years of acquaintance from the minor to the major and often the downright bizarre, but now the two martial artists had reached the breaking point. There could be no going back for either of them, only forward into an uncertain future whose foundations would be established in the next few, decisive moments.

-Are you sure about this, Soun? It's not too late to undo this mistake of yours.- the cursed elder Saotome signed, narrowing his ursine eyes.

"My only mistake, 'old friend,' is not having done this _earlier_," the mustachioed Tendo patriarch answered with an harrumph, folding his arms. "This has been months in the making, Genma, and it is high time you accepted the truth. No more lies, no more obfuscations, just reality, and I won't accept your childish antics and protests any longer!"

-_My_ childish antics?- Genma-panda replied by turning his sign around, somehow managing to convey a sense of overwhelming incredulity in the letters. –Look who's talking, Tendo! This would have been over ages ago if you'd just stop delaying and admit defeat!-

"Never! Face it, Genma, the writing is on the wall, and not even your legendary cheating can save you now! Just take a look and tell me how you're going to get out of this one!" Soun retorted, pointing emphatically at the source of discord and loathing that threatened to put an end to their many years of camaraderie.

The Jusenkyo-cursed martial artist did as beckoned and looked...and didn't like one bit what he saw on the shogi board laid out between them. Most of Genma's pieces were captured, and the few that weren't were surrounded by Soun's army. Ranma's father had clearly lost the game and could last only a few more moves at best, but Genma stubbornly refused to admit the inevitability of his defeat.

-I'll think of something. I've gotten _both_ of us out of worst, and if you- BY MY HONORED ANCESTORS, WHAT IS THAT BLINDING LIGHT BEHIND YOU?!!-

Soun harrumphed again. "Please, old friend, what kind of fool do you take me for? I won't fall for such a simple trick!"

_Rumble-rumble-krum-krum-krumble-_

"...though I have to admit, you've certainly put a lot of effort into making this ruse appear convincing, Genma. And here I was starting to think you were getting sloppy," the Tendo patriarch commented with anxious laughter, no longer sounding so certain of his earlier assessment. "Why, I might even believe you were telling the tru-"

_**DOOOOOOOOO-**_

With a fatalistic gleam in his eyes, Genma-panda rearranged the shogi pieces on the board in his favor in the split second before the rainbow flood swallowed him like it had his longtime friend. If he was going to go out, it might as well be with a winning hand.

_**-OOOOOOOOOM!!!**_

------

"My darling Shampoo! You've come to help me with this errand! I'm so happy!" Mousse exclaimed joyously, dropping the package Cologne had entrusted him with to hug the Shampoo-shaped blur in front of him. The "blur" immediately bristled at the strong embrace and took on a reddish hue.

"Uncouth foreigner! How dare you assault my noble personage?! Unhand me this instant!"

With a disappointed but unsurprised sigh, the young Amazon Master of Hidden Weapons released the woman in his arms, took a step back, and retrieved his thick glasses from the folds of his sleeves. Quickly adorning the spectacles, he felt an unpleasant shiver of realization run down his spine as his vision went from unreliable to less unreliable and he identified the most recent target of his misplaced affections.

"Kodachi?"

"_Lady_ Kodachi to you, peasant!" the crazed Kuno heiress declared imperiously, glaring at the Chinese Amazon hotly and fingering a ribbon with repressed violence in her right hand. "I know my dazzling beauty can overwhelm lesser minds, but that doesn't excuse your rude behavior! As punishment, I demand reparations for this insult! OHOHOHOHOHO!"

Mousse frowned and prepared to make a retort along the lines of slaving away for the old hag being bad enough without adding a mad chemical sadist to the mix, but the words died in his throat as he caught sight of something that even his poor eyes couldn't miss.

"Um...Kodachi, am I hallucinating or is there a neighborhood-sized death ray barreling straight at us?"

The raven-haired gymnast's eyes narrowed disbelievingly at this claim, but she glanced behind her anyway and immediately jerked back in amazement at the sight of her impending and inescapable doom. "Hm...for once your inferior eyesight does not deceive you, peasant, and since there's no escaping fate...you should feel fortunate that you get to die alongside my illustrious personage! OHOHOHOHOHO!"

And then, either in a fit of total insanity or a desire to not be alone in her final moments, Kodachi seized Mousse in an embrace of her own and pushed her lips against his. The Chinese martial artist, not used to being glomped himself, flailed and attempted to brush her off, but the crazy Kuno heiress refused to end the kiss. When the Rainbow Ray swept over them a second later, it was almost a relief to the nearsighted youth.

_**DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!**_

------

The wail that escaped from the Lost Boy's throat as he stared at the smoking chasm newly carved through several wards of Tokyo and continuing on into the countryside could have made even a banshee weep, but Demon God Ifurita was unmoved as she watched her keening opponent. Only when his rictus of grief slipped into a visage of pure, unadulterated rage and Ryouga turned to face her with murder in his brown eyes did she finally react, and she did so by letting the corners of her elegant lips curve upwards in a tiny, condescending smirk. That was the last straw for the wandering martial artist.

"Monster," Ryouga said simply, voice so thick with emotion it was a miracle his words didn't drown as his eyes lit up with a dangerous, malicious spark fueled by pure hatred. The ice around him cracked and then melted with a nasty hiss as his aura started to churn around him, his depleted reserves reignited by sheer fury. With a deadly grace that belied the mental maelstrom taking place within his soul, the young martial artist slipped into an offensive stance and gazed directly into the endless, ancient abyss of Ifurita's blue-gray orbs. He did not look away.

"You MOOONSTEEEER!" he repeated angrily, a green, venomous aura erupting around him with a resplendence that was nearly blinding as it grew brighter and brighter to match his rage. The world beneath his feet quaked in agony as it felt this newest outpouring of emotion and the sky above crackled with unnatural lightning as the fanged martial artist's power kindled ever higher, his mind consumed by a single thought, a single need greater than any other: vengeance. But this single-mindedness would not last for long.

"Oh? I'm a monster, am I?" Ifurita replied calmly, cold voice carrying across the distance with such clarity that it sounded as if she was whispering directly in her opponent's ear. "Tell me then, Hibiki Ryouga, what does that make you? You, who have been holding back this entire time with lives you claim you want to protect at risk? You, who even now that your 'friend' has been atomized and much of your city lies in ruins still hides his true power?" She shook her head tauntingly. "You're the only true monster here, human, for you've betrayed those you professed to care about while I, in contrast, have never had such intimate bonds to break faith with."

Ryouga's seething aura immediately stilled at these words, and a confused, horrified look crossed his face as the fire in his eyes slowly dimmed. "No...that's not...I couldn't...how?..."

The Demon God released a single, mirthless laugh. "I told you earlier that you and Ranma didn't stand a chance against me, didn't I? Did you really think that was merely confidence speaking? I scanned the two of you before you ever laid eyes on me and am fully aware of your true might." Her blue-gray oculi narrowed slightly, boring into Ryouga's own with the force of a sledgehammer. "Nothing you could have done or can do will change the fate I have decided for this world...but if you'd unleashed your 'secret' power earlier perhaps those you cherish would have had a few more minutes of this life you strangely find so precious. At the very least, you wouldn't be wondering like you are now if you could have saved them."

Every word of Ifurita's was like a knife to the Lost Boy's heart, and his ki – once so brilliant it burned – died out around him until it was nothing more than a sickly silhouette covering his frame. Burdened by the weight of grief he could not bear, Ryouga seemed to collapse as all his strength left him and his head rolled forward, hiding his pained face from the Demon God's scrutiny.

"Giving up?" the humanoid weapon of mass destruction asked, a note of what might just have been disappointment in her voice at this turn of events. "I must confess, you surprise me. I had assumed that the bitter knowledge that you could have done more would spur you on to greater heights...but instead you have fallen into despair, a pointless emotion. I suppose it's only natural once someone realizes the cruel truth of their existence, though. Everything you are...everything you've felt...everything you've done and could yet do...it's _all meaningless_! Time ultimately erases everything, and nothing anyone does truly matters in the grand scheme of-"

"Shut up." There was too little force in the words to call them a demand, but the Demon God paused nonetheless and arched a lilac eyebrow. Her opponent's voice had changed, losing the fiery passion and implacable stubbornness and gaining a gelid tartness that almost seemed to freeze the air. The Lost Boy's words sounded...hollow to the android, but that wasn't quite right because she could sense the tiniest hints of a monstrous tempest at the bottom of that abyss.

"You are in no position to make demands of me, human. I speak only the-"

"I said _shut up_, Demon! What part of that don't you understand?" Still keeping his head down, Ryouga chuckled brokenly, his laughter that of a man standing on the edge of a cliff with one foot forward. "What part of _life_ don't you understand? Living is about more than what you leave behind...it's also about what you do while you're _here_, and if that doesn't matter in your so-called 'grand scheme of things' I have to say so what? It matters _to me_, to _my friends_, and to _everyone whose lives I touch_! And if I have to risk everything so the people of this world can go on living, so be it!"

He suddenly raised his head and locked gazes with her, but instead of the defeat and grief Ifurita expected to see the Lost Boy's eyes glowed with the terrible might of a glacial inferno. "I'd hoped that I'd never have to unleash this again after what happened on Namek, but you've left me no choice! And if you actually believe despair serves no purpose..." Ryouga's viridian ki suddenly sparked, wafting off him in writhing tendrils that appeared to be struggling to keep an even greater power contained within him. "...then you have no idea who you're up against."

"PERFECT SHI SHI HOUKOUDAN!!!"

* * *

**What's this? Ryouga releases his true power but at what cost? And what about Ranma? Is this the end of the Magical Knight of Valor? And Jadeite continues to make his way to the battlefield, but can anything he or Earth's two unlikely heroes do stop the villainous Ifurita? Or will it be up to Kasumi to save the day by making tea? All this and MORE...on the next...exciting update of...Magical Girl Ranko vs. Z-Fighter Ryouga! **

Author's Notes: Bleh. Now that I've gotten that Dragon Ball-inspired episode preview out of my system, here are the normally scheduled author's notes.

(1) Standard Martial Artist Altitude (SMAA) is a concept I lifted from the famous Ranma 1/2 fan fic "The More Things Change." Where the authors of that classic got it from, I don't know.

Addendum: Another five months, another update that was supposed to be the last chapter but isn't. –sighs– Sorry about the long wait, but the next and final (this time for sure!) chapter should be available in much less time because the draft is already written and is mostly just in need of polishing to make it presentable. It was originally supposed to be part of this chapter, but I decided to post the first half separately because I've gone long enough without updating this story and I figure doing this in two parts is better than submitting a 40+ page behemoth. Anyway, thank you for your patience and I hope the readers have enjoyed this installment. And if you're curious about the attacks Ifurita used in this chapter, I've posted her attack list down below.

Ifurita's attack list (continued from previous chapter) –

Ebony Annihilation = an extremely powerful black magic spell of Zagato's from Magic Knight Rayearth. I altered its appearance slightly in this chapter.

Earth, Air, Fire, and Water manipulation = the powers of the four holy priestesses of El-Hazard. And for those of you who've seen the OVA and TV series and are wondering how I fit a fourth priestess into this, allow me to introduce you to Ishiel Soel, the Priestess of Earth from the little-known Sega Saturn El-Hazard video game! She's bold, she's beautiful, and she has a Lamp of Earth that's the size of a plasma rifle!

Destructo Disk = Krillin's of Dragon Ball fame signature move. Used by Ryouga instead of Ifurita in this chapter, but hey – it's part of her attack list now so it fits!

Ultima = a powerful spell from the Final Fantasy video game series.

Metsu Shoryuken = Destroying Rising Dragon Fist. The same uppercut that gave Sagat from Street Fighter the scar on his chest.

Light Hawk Wings = a powerful energy construct from the Tenchi Muyo series. Considering Tenchi and El-Hazard are regarded as sibling franchises, having a character from the latter borrow from the former seemed appropriate.

Force Storm = a Dark Side of the Force lightning power from Star Wars. I wasn't joking about those synthetic midichlorians! I've come across different Force attacks with the same name, so my description of this attack could be off.


	8. Chapter 5 Part 3

Title: Magical Girl Ranko vs. Z-Fighter Ryouga

Author: Rowan Seven

Teaser: Magical Girl Ranko and Z-Fighter Ryouga vs. Demon God Ifurita. Yes, the fate of the world is at stake and no, I'm not going to change the title.

Disclaimer: Ranma 1/2, Dragonball Z, Sailor Moon, Looney Tunes, El-Hazard, and any other series I mention belong to their respective creators and copyright holders, as do the characters and settings in this story that don't belong to me. I make no claims to any of them and am making no financial profit from writing this story.

Author's Notes: Marked with (#) and posted at the end.

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Chapter 5 Part 3 – The End is not the End Because There's an Epilogue!

Nerima was a wasteland, but this was not at all unusual for the ward whose residents included a cohort of martial artists who more than lived up to their Wrecking Crew sobriquet and an all-purpose android with feline tendencies whose "playmates" included one of Japan's leading military manufacturers. Widespread property damage was consequently par the norm for Nerima, and the ward's comparatively normal inhabitants had adapted by embracing the unique opportunities this offered. The chance to glimpse epic metahuman brawls was touted as a major tourist draw, and with the exception of undergarment thefts Tokyo's low crime rates were even lower in Nerima because of the high probability that any random person stopped on the street was a master of an esoteric martial art. Even Japan's notorious Yakuza had given up their racketeering schemes in the district after finding themselves on the wrong end of everything from giant spatulas to poisonous tea sticks and, on one particularly embarrassing occasion, a lipstick lasso. Besides, as the ward's inhabitants reasoned to themselves, compared to Tokyo Tower which was the site of an extradimensional summoning, apocalyptic battle, or alien invasion every other week they actually had it pretty nice in Nerima whose own forces of destruction at least tended to be apologetic about the messes they caused and were often quite attractive too.

Sadly, though, such good-natured tolerance of Nerima's particular _quirks_ was gone along with most of the ward. A conic trench miles wide and stretching on past the horizon ran through most of the city, the new chasm's walls sheared to near impossible smoothness by the might of Ifurita's Rainbow Ray as visible waves of heat roiled off the scorched stone and soil. Along the trench's sides were signs of daily life abruptly interrupted – the remains of cars and buildings cleaved in twain, gushing pipes, and sparking cables. As terrible as these harsh sights of devastation were, though, they paled beneath the horrifying knowledge that where minutes ago hundreds of thousands of humans had been there was now only empty space. Of those people lucky enough to have been outside the blast radius, many simply stood in stunned silence as they struggled to comprehend such a horrendous catastrophe. Others wailed, their grief and shock rising up to the heavens. Nerima hadn't been merely wrecked – it had been utterly destroyed, and while Tokyo's famed construction crews could rebuild the streets and buildings they couldn't bring back the lives lost and the community that was now gone.

Unnoticed by all in this scene of devastation, the calamity's single survivor – a young woman so caked in grime and ashes as to be virtually unrecognizable – grunted painfully and pulled her cracked, bloodied fingernails out of the blisteringly hot earth she'd gouged herself to a stop in. Ten narrow slivers stretched for over a mile down the chasm's bottom in testament to the armored warrior's herculean struggle, but she was too wracked with pain to bask in the proof of her triumph. Instead, she kept her eyes closed and breathed deeply, focusing on the simple action of inhaling and exhaling even as every motion sent new waves of agony running down her body. Simultaneously, seven thin blades of rainbow colored light spun protectively around her but flickered weakly like a neon sign at a dive bar, struggling to support themselves and maintain the shield that had saved their tortured charge's life. It was a doomed effort, however, and after a few more seconds of unsustainable struggle the blades dissolved into luminous sparkles, leaving the young woman defenseless and, for the first time, exposed to the trench's heat.

"HOT-HOT-HOT-HOT-HOT-HOT!" the armored warrior screamed, instantly finding new reserves of strength as her anguished body's complaints were drowned out by even louder protests of searing pain. She leapt to her feet immediately and, in true magical girl fashion, started frantically running back and forth screeching like a madwoman, alternately waving her arms and blowing on her hands in an attempt to cool off. Her panicked movements sent the detritus clinging to her body tumbling off, and within a minute her uniform's naturally bright colors were visible once again along with the fiery crimson of her long mane of hair. It was another long minute before the redhead's emergency burst of energy faded and put a halt to her embarrassing antics, though, and with a completely exhausted sigh the youth crouched down and rested her hands on her knees as her heeled, violet footwear proved its worth by protecting her feet from the heat.

"O...o-kay..." the young woman who was clearly Ranma-chan said shakily, a semblance of order returning to her thoughts as rationality piped in long enough for her to begin to assess her situation. Her next words were punctuated by haggard gasps as – also in true magical girl fashion – she continued speaking out loud for no apparent reason.

"Let's see...I'm in the middle of a superheated canyon after being nearly vaporized by an empowered version of my own attack, my body is in so much agony that I almost feel nostalgic for Pop's Neko-ken training, and my energy levels are so low I doubt I could power a light bulb. On the plus side, I'm still alive and...um, that's about it for positives," the Saotome heir remarked with unusual candor, the torment of being engulfed by the incandescent inferno of Ifurita's Rainbow Ray canceling out even her normally incorrigible confidence. She tapped a finger against her chin pensively and frowned. "I suppose tapping into yet another _magical_ and _incredibly convenient_ power fueled by desperation and discovered at the last minute also counts, but I don't think I'll be able to do a second 'Razzle Dazzle Rainbow Replication' without killing myself. Whatever those Light Hawk Wings are, they're beyond the scope of my training and the strain of sustaining even third-rate knockoff 'Rainbow Wings' hurt nearly as much as the Rainbow Ray they protected me from."

The mention of her recent ordeal sent a shudder through her frame. As clouded as her mind had been from the anguish of first being on the receiving end of the Demon God's onslaught and then defending against it, she could still clearly recall the sensation of her soul's energies being repurposed as a shield and directly exposed to Ifurita's power. It had nearly been too much for her, and for a few terrifying moments Ranma-chan had feared that her soul would tear and give out under the exertion. If she had to do that again, the redhead thought, there was a pretty good chance there'd be so little left of her soul afterwards that not even a demon would want to buy it.

A sudden fit of strained coughing interrupted the magical knight's musings, and with mixed feelings about letting go of the tortured past to concentrate on the mournfully bleak present she resumed her assessment. "Okay, I've nearly destroyed myself trying to save myself and confirmed that my schadenfreudian enemy can not only destroy the entire city on a whim but also duplicate any attack she sees perfectly. I also have no idea where I am right now or how far away Ifurita is, but if I hurry I can probably reach ground zero and come within an inch of death _again_ before the world ends. Heh, now _that's_ something to aspire to!"

Nothing but silence and the sounds of blistering heat rising greeted her words, and the rainbow-irised martial artist sighed morosely. "If there's a lesson to be learned from this and rammed down people's throats in some sort of moralizing postscript it's that some days it doesn't pay to get out of bed. Still," she added, changing tune with grim determination in her voice as the curve of her mouth tightened and she slowly stood up again. "A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do, and even though victory here might be as elusive as a rainbow...heh, hehehe...chasing rainbows is right up Razzle Dazzle Ranko's alley!"

She pointed dramatically in the direction she'd come from and gazed forward intently as her long, braided hair flared behind her. "Demon God Ifurita, if you think you've seen the last of me you're sadly mistaken! Just like the rainbow that disappears but returns after the next storm, I will-" Ranma-chan stopped abruptly in mid-monologue, eyes widening and a horrified look crossing her face as she suddenly realized what she was doing. "Oh heck no, not again! Except it makes even _less_ sense this time because there's nobody around to hear my lame but defiant speech! I've gotta-"

_Rumble-rumble-ka-SCREECH!_

Whatever the martial artist had been about to say was drowned out as the earth beneath her feet shook, crumbled, and fell away as a seven foot by seven foot gray metallic cylinder popped out of the ground and lifted her into the air. The horror that had been on her face shifted to puzzlement as a panel in the cylinder slid open and a ramp lowered to the surface and then annoyance at the sound of two familiar voices coming from inside the tube.

"-worse than I thought. We sure are lucky you listened to my fortune teller friend and bought that emergency underground escape system for the rich and famous when you did, Master Kuno!"

"Luck, Sasuke? Nay! 'Tis the will of the gods that we survived this cataclysm! The destruction that has befallen my beloved Nerima is surely that vile sorcerer Saotome's doing, and Heaven has chosen me as its righteous blade of vengeance. I will not rest until I've brought that knave to divine justice for this foul deed! So swears Kuno Tatawaki, the Blue Thunder of the late Furinkan High!"

_Krackle-BOOM!_

Ranma-chan rolled her eyes contemptuously as the kendoist's telltale bolt of lightning resounded dramatically in the background. Of all the people she could have run into in Nerima- wait, what?

"What do you mean the 'late Furinkan High'? Is this Nerima?" the redhead questioned loudly, horrific realization smashing into her like a 10 kilometer wide asteroid into Earth as she leapt down from the top of the elevator and grabbed the taller teen by the neck as he exited the escape capsule. Kuno's eyes instinctively flashed with anger at being manhandled, but then he took a closer look at the small woman effortlessly holding him off the ground and an even more instinctual (at least for him) response took over.

"Fair maiden...I would know your name so that I may date thee as well as the lovely Tendo Akane and the pigtailed girl," Tatawaki intoned adoringly, reaching up to clasp the hands clutched around his neck with his own. "Surely my fiendish enemy, the devil known as Saotome Ranma, has locked them up in his den of evil and is even now shamelessly forcing them to deport themselves before him, but once I've freed them from his salacious clutches the four of us can return and rebuild Nerima for our posterity-"

_**SMACK!**_

"-urk!" the kendoist finished unceremoniously, falling into the familiar realm of unconsciousness with a red mark on his face where Ranma-chan's fist had slammed into it. The magical girl sighed and nonchalantly dropped her pompous peer on the ramp.

"Feh, shoulda known better than ta try getting information out of him." She turned to the Kuno's mousey manservant and, with a hesitation in her words that usually only appeared when she was cornered by one or more of her fiancées, repeated her question.

"Hey Sasuke, tell me the truth. Is this...is this Nerima, and if so...where's everyone else?"

The minute ninja peered at the redhead uncertainly as he went to his fallen master's side, taking extra care not to step off the metal ramp onto the blisteringly hot ground. "Excuse me miss, but have we met before? And please excuse my master's antics! He can be a bit overly enthusiastic at times, but he means well! ...sort of."

Irritation momentarily rose to the surface above Ranma-chan's dread as she rolled her rainbow irises. It wasn't as if she wanted to be seen in her absurd get-up, but how could these two idiots _not_ recognize her?

"Yeah yeah, whatever," the cursed Saotome said more audibly, fixing Sasuke with a penetrating stare. "There'll be time for explanations later-" _Maybe_, she appended silently. "-but right now I want to know what happened here. Is this Nerima, and...did you...did you save anyone else?" An image of Akane formed in her mind, and she felt her heart nearly burst from apprehension. The ninja's next words did nothing to put her thoughts at ease.

"...I'm afraid I don't know what happened here, Anonymous Mistress," Sasuke answered sadly, his shoulders drooping morosely at his sides. "Master Kuno and I were getting ready to test this emergency elevator when we saw a flash of blinding light and...um..._accelerated_ our plans. Had we reached the shelter even a second later I...I don't think I'd be here right now having this conversation with you. No one else was with us, and while I sincerely hope others found sanctuary from this disaster I..."

Something that sounded like a cross between a squeak and a sob emerged from the tiny ninja's throat, and he gesticulated despondently around them. "Oh the humanity! I don't want to think about this...but I can't help it! Poor Mistress Kodachi...I, I'm going to miss her laughter, and her pets too...except Mr. Green Turtle because he tried to eat me yesterday- oh, who am I kidding? I'll miss Mr. Green Turtle most of all!" Tears were in the dutiful retainer's eyes as he gazed at the world around him unseeingly. "I don't know what to do, but I've got to...got to be strong for Master Kuno's sake-"

Ranma-chan ignored Sasuke as he continued lamenting the lost with increasing incoherence, trapped by her own morose thoughts as the reality of her worst nightmare sank in. Pops...the Tendos...all of her friends...there were all dead, and she hadn't been able to do a thing to save them. And Akane was...Akane was..._gone_. She would never hear her fiancée's refrain of "Ranma you jerk!" again, never feel the blunt end of her wooden mallet again, never...never look into her soft brown eyes again or see Akane's heartwarmingly beautiful smile that on the rare occasions it was aimed at her made the entire world seem perfect for a single instant. She was Saotome Ranma, the greatest martial artist of this generation, the fighter who never gave up and never lost...and she had lost the one person she'd wanted to protect above all others. She...she had failed, and now she would never get the chance to tell Akane that she lo-

"Oh no, not again!" Sasuke suddenly cried out, sheer terror snapping him out of his despondency as he fearfully pointed at something in the distance. Feeling numb, Ranma-chan turned around to search for whatever had scared the ninja...and almost immediately needed to raise a hand to shield her eyes from the harsh emerald light of a far-off, seething dome of ki that was rising higher and growing wider with frightening alacrity. The color left little doubt in her mind about the identity of its creator, but the fact that it was large enough for her to see from this distance could only mean-

"Crap," the magical girl cursed, feeling a second icy chill burn her soul as mind-numbing grief gave way to desperate clarity. "That can only be Ryouga, and while I can't blame him for overreacting in these circumstances I _can_ blame him for being an idiot! If he finishes that attack, Japan will be lucky if only Tokyo is wiped off the map! Sasuke, grab Kuno and return to your shelter. I'll go and-"

"No, Anonymous Mistress! It's dangerous to go alone, and I would be a disgrace to the noble Kuno household if I let you risk your life on my behalf like this!" Sasuke protested with what amounted for honor and pride for him. "Let me instead-" he began, walking forward to join her on the ground and instantly regretting it. "YEOUCH!"

Ranma-chan facepalmed as the short ninja hastily jumped back onto the elevator's lowered ramp and hopped back and forth from foot to foot, raising and blowing on each in turn in a frenzied effort to relieve the burning. She _really_ hoped she hadn't looked that ridiculous earlier when she'd been in a similar situation.

"I appreciate the sentiment, but there isn't time to debate this, Sasuke!" the redhead insisted, pivoting to face her rival's swelling aura. "I have to stop Ryouga before he destroys the country and I need to stop Ifurita before she destroys the world, and I have less than ten minutes to do both in. So please, look after yourself for now and leave the rest to Razzle Dazzle Ranko, the Magical Knight of Valor!"

She reflexively struck a heroic pose, gazing determinedly at ground zero as her hair once again billowed dramatically behind her in a nonexistent breeze. Rather than complain about the silliness once her mind caught up with her body, though, Ranma-chan merely shook her head resignedly and then took off in a dash down the trench, racing against time to save the planet twice over.

Sasuke watched her for a long moment, continuing to stare at her backside even after she'd disappeared from view. Finally and with mixed emotions, he sighed and turned to gather his unconscious employer. "I suppose my duty to Master Kuno does obligate me to stay by his side no matter how much shame I incur for doing so," he rationalized aloud, dragging the kendoist back into the escape capsule as gently as he could and reaching out to press a button with his other hand to withdraw the ramp. Before he closed the door, though, he spared one last look that was almost regretful in the young heroine's direction.

"A pity I didn't know this was going to happen, though. If I had, I would have talked Master Kuno into purchasing that Ultraman Beta Capsule too!"

000ooo000000ooo000

_"I sense a great power within you, young warrior. However, I also sense that it is a dark, destructive power that will resist all attempts to control it."_

Ryouga's horrific scream rent the evening air as his heavy viridian aura swelled across the devastated battlefield for over three hundred yards in every direction except down. Tendrils of a deeper green simultaneously coiled themselves around him and lashed out, arcing towards the dome's perimeter in a chaotic, crackling cacophony that brought to the mind the image of a plasma globe with the Lost Boy at the center.

_"Can you unlock it, though?"_

Surprisingly, outside the emerald eruption the world was calm, scarred but still as it waited for the ongoing conflict to play itself out. Such peace – however short-lived – was completely absent inside the seething hemisphere as the ground split and tore itself out of the earth only to disintegrate seconds later, victims of either a power discharge or the enormous and contrary pressures being generated. Only the surface under Ryouga's feet remained unaffected as the rock and dirt around it fell away, leaving the Lost Boy standing on top of a growing, solitary pillar.

_"Yes, earthling. I can unlock the power within you. Though doing so would give me reason to fear for your eternal soul. Still, not even I can say with certainty what the outcome would be, and you and your friends possess kind hearts. Never lose that trait nor sight of what you desire to protect most, and you might persevere. If you wish to continue, come stand beside me and I will do my best. Your fate is, as always, yours and yours alone to decide."_

Ifurita watched the display calmly, a ghost of a predatory smile on her face as she floated slightly over a dozen yards in front of her opponent, arms crossed and key staff levitating beside her. Her five azure Light Hawk Wings spun madly around her, parting the onslaught of emerald power like rushing tides crashing against and flowing around a sturdy rock in the ocean to reform behind it. Somehow, despite the raging storm of grief and destruction surrounding her, the Demon God almost seemed...irenic, as if this was her natural state.

"Finally! It's taken you long enough, but I'm glad you've at last decided to take this battle _seriously_," the ancient weapon spoke smoothly but in a voice of such power and timelessness that the words were heard even over Ryouga's wail. "It would only add to your regrets if you were still holding back when the world ends, though at the rate you're building up energy you just might accelerate the process for me. Tell me, do you still care about this planet you've said you want to protect, or have you decided that vengeance is more important and consequences be damned?"

The only response the martial artist gave was to scream louder as staggering power continued to flow out of him, and Ifurita pursed her lips. Whether her opponent was as indifferent to Earth's fate as he currently appeared or he had something else in mind didn't matter to her in the slightest because the outcome would still be the same. Nothing could stop the end from coming now except her death, and that was not going to happen.

"If your need for revenge is great enough to condone such..._drastic_ measures, I will not interfere," the Demon God stated, sounding faintly amused. "However, just to ensure that you don't have any false impressions do not believe for an instant that this will be enough to terminate me. I have stood unscathed in the dying hearts of burning suns, and a shattered planet in the depths of space is child's play in comparison."

Ryouga's wail morphed into bitter laughter at this comment. "Now who's...underestimating whom, eh?" he asked rhetorically, teeth clenched as he struggled to form words with his power raging within him. "I'm just...getting...warmed up, demon, and I happen...to know a few..._tricks_ that your senses haven't...picked up on! You think...you know the limits of my power? Heh...try this on for size!"

"Kaio-ken TIMES FIVE!"

Anything Ifurita might have said in rebuttal was drowned out by the monstrous roar that tore itself out of the Lost Boy's throat as his viridian aura turned crimson and intensified. With a crackling whine that was nearly feral, the now blood red dome started to swell once more but in a vestigial flash of green the tendrils of power coiled around the young martial artist shot out, seized the hemisphere's ends, and _pulled_ inward. Shrieking in protest but unable to resist, the crimson aura slowly contracted, growing brighter as it returned to its creator and became a burning fire silhouetting the Lost Boy's frame. Sweating now as his muscles bulged and his heart beat frantically from the exertion, Ryouga spared a single moment to smirk menacingly at his opponent before lifting his head to face the heavens and opening his mouth in a silent scream.

_Ryouga screamed in torment as his ki was ripped apart and shredded into thousands upon thousands of tiny shards, shards that immediately erupted with a power greater than anything he had ever known before and yet strangely familiar to the Lost Boy too. The power coursed through him, intoxicated him, seared his mind, frightened him to the very core of his being, but also excited him in ways his increasingly incoherent thoughts couldn't describe. The youth didn't know what to do or what to think, but through it all he felt the namek elder's firm hand on his head and this lone constant was enough to enable him to stay on his feet and endure the process._

There was no Guru to guide him this time, but as the destructive power surged through his mind and coursed through his ki Ryouga knew the namek elder's calming presence wouldn't be necessary. Ranma was dead. Akane was dead. Everyone he'd known in Nerima was dead. Earth stood on the brink of total annihilation, and the architect of all these deaths floated directly in front of him flaunting her impunity. This was not right, and even as his mind and body screamed in agony his spirit's need for justice cried out even louder.

_At least for a few more seconds, which was when his terrible agony was replaced by an even more frightening and endless cold-_

The Lost Boy reached deep into the core of his being, feeling himself grow numb from the gelid emptiness he encountered but forcing himself to go deeper. Down and down he fell until there was only silence, cold, and darkness. Somehow, though it seemed impossible that there could be anything even lower, he thought he saw an indistinct azure light beckoning to him and was for a single instant tempted by its ethereal song...but just as quickly he forced himself to look away. Ryouga knew where that road ultimately led and was not prepared to go there yet, not while his enemy still lived and he had a purpose to fulfill. Instead, he closed his eyes and embraced the arctic chill and profound quiet, letting the grief and sorrow they embodied enter his innermost parts-

-and then his eyes flashed open and around him the power of a soul consumed but miraculously not destroyed by despair ascended upward into the evening sky in the shape of a familiar emerald column. How high it surged Ryouga had no idea, but when it finally reached its apex the Perfect ShiShiHoukoudan swirled and waited, growing larger and thicker as more ki poured into it and bathing the nightmarish world below in its tempestuous, melancholic light.

The Demon God also glanced up at the cold, viridian star outshining the sun and then casually returned her timeless gaze to her opponent. The emerald storm continued to churn and stretch until it crowned both of them and the crater they stood at the center of, but the ancient weapon remained indifferent beyond a slightly bemused tilting of her head to the side.

"Your move," she said simply as something indiscernible briefly flashed within the depths of her blue-gray orbs. "One way or another, I suspect it will also be your last."

Ryouga ignored her, continuing to channel more and more of his ki upwards...until he finally reached his tortuously stretched limit and an eerily melancholic yet serene smile crossed his face. Simultaneously, the ascending stream of emerald ki vanished and, cut off from its source, the sorrowful star floating far above reversed its outward expansion and rapidly collapsed in upon itself. For a moment the viridian tempest looked like it would shrink into nothingness, but then something within its core appeared to ignite and the forlorn inferno burst, discharging all its power into a solitary, descending column of condensed might. The heavens shrieked in its wake and the earth split and splintered as it drew near, but the compressed onslaught itself was unnaturally quiet, devoid of the sounds one would normally expect from such a large concentration of raging ki. Instead, it sang with the inner quiet of one heartbroken man's mournful soul.

Slowly, pushing against the titanic downward pressure of his own attack, the Lost Boy raised his left hand high above his head and reached – almost longingly – for the falling ragnarok. A second later the blazing emerald beam brushed his fingertips, and in the millisecond he had before it engulfed both him and his opponent with the fury of an avenging angel the young martial artist jabbed his other hand forward and concentrated for all he was worth.

"Shi Shi Houkoudan Beam Cannon-"

Ryouga's body swelled nightmarishly, nearly rupturing from the strain as he absorbed the Perfect ShiShiHoukoudan into himself and rechanneled it to the index and middle fingers of his right hand. Two tiny pinpricks of foreboding green light, each shining with such painfully bright intensity they made the Eternal Wanderer want to tear out his own eyes, materialized in front of the focal digits as the mighty column above his head whirled into a roiling vortex funneling into the palm of his upraised hand. Currents of crackling energy traveled up and down his appendages, threatening to overwhelm him with physical torment to match the agony consuming his mind as he struggled to maintain control, but somehow Ryouga endured. He had no choice but to.

"-FIRE!"

The twin dots of light at the tips of his index and middle fingers surged forth, one narrow beam ringed by its narrower but no less deadly partner as the displaced Z-Fighter unleashed the destructive power Guru had awakened into a corkscrew-shaped attack. Ifurita's Light Hawk Wings immediately spun into place to block the double beam, flaring as the pronged assault crashed into them-

_**FZZZZZZZT!**_

-and drilled! Azure and viridian sparks flew like it was the Fourth of July and the battlefield reverberated with a monstrous _whirring_ noise louder than any succession of fireworks as Ryouga's modified beam cannon spun and burrowed against the Demon God's hallowed shields. Its might amplified by its borer shape and reinforced by the tempestuous funnel continuing to stream into Ryouga's body, the redirected and tightly concentrated Perfect ShiShiHoukoudan did what a larger attack could not and tunneled forward through his opponent's nigh perfect defense bit by excruciatingly incremental bit, droning and scintillating madly. A crease of uncharacteristic effort appeared on the ancient android's pristine brow as she channeled more power to the Light Hawk Wings, slowing the martial artist's assault to an infinitesimal crawl but not stopping it. Simultaneously, the writhing cone above Ryouga shrank, becoming tinier and tinier as more of its strength was spent.

On and on the contest went, and for a brief moment it looked like the Lost Boy's wellspring of grieving power would peter out before the Demon God's defenses were breached...but, just as the bandana-clad warrior took in the last of the Perfect ShiShiHoukoudan's might the beam cannon surged forward one last time with the added strength of desperation. It ground through the final layer of Ifurita's protection, and the would-be destroyer of the world's mouth opened in a gasp of surprise that promptly turned into an even rarer exclamation of pain as the emerald corkscrew plowed into the center of her chest. Ryouga would be denied the satisfaction of seeing the full devastation of his attack, though, because in the same moment the penetrated Light Hawk Wings shattered like broken glass and detonated outward in a burst of azure light.

"Crap," the Lost Boy muttered weakly, trying and failing to lift his arms in front of him to brace for the explosion. The two limbs dropped uselessly against his sides instead, too exhausted and strained from the demands he'd made of them, and the young martial artist swore again as his legs also threatened to give out. He had just enough time as he swayed forward to wonder if this was his body's revenge for the abuse he'd put it through when a familiar female figure roughly tackled him from the side, grabbed one of his arms, and leapt off the narrow pillar he'd stood on just as the destructive shockwave smashed into it.

"Geez Ryouga, what were you _thinking_ back there? You had me worried that you were going to kill us both, idiot!" Ranma-chan screamed at her rival, pulling him along as she outraced the blue explosion behind them and jumped out of the crater into the even larger crater they'd made earlier. "Next time give a guy a warning that you've revised the Perfect ShiShiHoukoudan from a vertical harbinger of the apocalypse into a horizontal death beam! Had I arrived a few minutes earlier I might have done something to stop you, and then where would we be?"

The Eternal Wanderer attempted to glare at his rival, but between the manhandling, the excruciating pain he was in, and the azure flare behind them it didn't quite have the effect he wanted. So he settled for yelling instead.

"Sh-shut up, Ranma! I don...don't need to tell _you_ a-anything!" Ryouga protested angrily, any relief he'd felt upon discovering the Saotome heir wasn't dead rapidly dissipating. "As I –cough– said earlier, if you j-just stay out of my way I can h-h-handle...ack...this!"

Ranma-chan rolled her eyes and made one last large leap as the Light Hawk Wings' detonation finally died out behind them. A moment later she landed on the rim of the enlarged depression with enough poise to earn a perfect 10 at the Olympics and, determined to make a point, lightly poked Ryouga in the shoulder with the hand she wasn't using to support him.

"OW!"

"_Sure_ you don't need my help," the redhead replied smugly, smirking as she turned her head and finally sized up her longtime rival. The arrogant grin froze instantly as she realized just what terrible shape the Lost Boy was in, but she knew better than to let him know that she was worried about him..._if_ she was worried about him, which she wasn't, so there was no need to let him know that she didn't know that- wait, where was she going with this again? With a nonchalant shrug, she decided to simply stick with the familiar.

"Face it, P-chan, you were lucky I arrived when I did! Otherwise you'd be in an even more woeful not to mention pan-fried state digging your body out of whatever mess you made back there," she goaded, trusting that ridicule would do more to keep Ryouga focused than any words of kindness on her part.

"Feh, you under-" The bandana-wearing warrior paused for a moment to clutch his sides and, turning his head to the side, spat out a glob of bile and blood before resuming his angry retort. "-underestimate me, Ranma! I'm –cough– fine, and unlike your _piddling_ best efforts I actually defeated our enemy! ...I hope." Ryouga suddenly became intently serious.

"Hey Ranma...could you turn us around? Not that I can't move on my own or anything, but since...well, your arm is already where it is and all...

"Yeah yeah, I know," the magical girl formerly known as the pigtailed martial artist said with a surprising amount of understanding in her voice considering their heated rivalry. Slowly, being careful not to aggravate his burnt out body, Ranma-chan slowly spun herself and Ryouga around to face the ground zero that had replaced the dozen earlier ground zeroes...and sighed unhappily at what she saw. Hovering above the crater at the explosion's epicenter was a billowing cloud of dust-choked air so thick it completely obscured its contents from view. By now, both fighters understood what this unwelcome sight meant.

"Oh sh-"

"Demon God Beam Cannon FIRE!"

A blue corkscrew-shaped beam shot out from and parted the shroud of debris in its passing, revealing the daunting figure at its center. Ifurita floated in the air proud and unbowed, the only sign of injury from her opponent's horrific onslaught an empty hole just below her ample breasts that was already beginning to fill with wires and a shimmering gray, metallic substance. An instant later the wandering martial artist had a matching but immensely more painful hole in his own chest as the Demon God returned the favor and Piccolo's signature attack struck home. Ryouga gasped once, already in too much agony to scream, as the beam cannon punched through his sternum with enough force to knock him back out of his rival's supporting arm. With what little strength he had left the Lost Boy lifted his head as he fell backwards to glare defiantly at his would-be murderer, but it was a wasted effort. Unconsciousness finally caught up with him just in time to spare him the further discomfort of feeling his body land roughly on the ground.

"Ryouga!" Ranma-chan cried out worriedly, immediately kneeling beside her fallen sort-of friend and placing her hands over his chest to cover the wound and stop the flow of blood. Just as quickly, though, she remembered who was watching them and rotated her gaze to make sure there wasn't another death ray heading their way. There wasn't, but in a way what she was saw was worse as Ifurita calmly reached for the key staff at her side and slowly glided towards them, the opening in her chest becoming smaller and smaller until it finally vanished all together with an unnatural oozing sound.

"My compliments to your boyfriend," Ifurita commented with genuine sincerity in her tone, setting the bottom of her pronged stave on the ground a few yards in front of the two martial artists as she halted her approach. "It was my hope that if I pushed him hard enough he'd show me at least one technique with copying, and he did not disappoint. An attack capable of penetrating Light Hawk-caliber defenses is a suitable addition to my arsenal."

An appraising look crossed the Demon God's face she tilted her head to the side and gazed at Ranma-chan intently. "Unfortunately, that also means it's time I ended this game. Your partner's 'last legs' have collapsed underneath him, and any fine control you have over your own power is mercurial at best. There's no point in prolonging this any further, and since I doubt you're wise enough to give up and make the most of what little time remains before the Void swallows this world...that leaves me with only a single option."

Gazing at the two martial artists solemnly, the ancient android raised her right gloved hand and aimed the ebon palm at her pair of opponents. "At the risk of coming across as both repetitive and unoriginal, I ask again...do you have any last words?"

"Um..." Knowing that she needed to buy time and quickly, Ranma-chan racked her brain for ideas and turned to what came naturally to her. "Yeah! What the heck is up with you being a robot? Do you have any idea how lame that is? Here I was, getting psyched up over fighting some all-powerful demon goddess from the netherworld only to find out that you're merely somebody's _recycled high school science experiment_! Geez, way to totally misrepresent yourself!"

Insults.

The Demon God blinked, moderately surprised at the redhead's foolhardy words. She'd been the target of invectives that would make a one-eyed sailor with military veteran status and seven ex-wives blush, but hurt pride over losing to a machine was a new one for her and, if nothing else, as a creature of precision she felt the need to correct the redhead's inaccurate terminology.

"Robot? Science experiment? You have no idea of what you speak, human. I am the Demon God Ifurita, an android built to serve as the ultimate weapon in a war that destroyed the very world it was fought over. I am-"

"Meh, spare me the sappy backstory! Robot, android, same difference!" the Saotome heir interrupted dismissively, attempting to keep the artificial humanoid off-guard as she frantically cycled through her options. "You're still just a tin can with a weapons system. And look, no offense or anything 'cause you're an awfully good-looking tin can an' all, but where's the glory in fighting something like that? I might as well go another round with that Arquillian security system for all the honor I'll get fighting a mechanical toy that's been programmed to speak." She sighed in disgust. "Honestly, killer androids? Who the heck thinks that's still a cool idea nowadays anyway?"

000ooo000000ooo000

"Achoo!"

Dr. Gero looked up from his computer monitor with an annoyed expression on his dour face and reached for a tissue. He'd thought he'd sanitized his lab to the extent that there would be no airborne irritants to distract him, but apparently even the environmental purifiers weren't enough to compensate for human fragility. How annoying...but it wouldn't be long now before he no longer needed to deal with such petty biological weaknesses.

"Soon, Son Goku, very soon now," the vengeful scientist muttered darkly, glancing over his shoulder at a metal table upon which were scattered various mechanical parts that resembled human limbs. "You may be the ultimate living fighter, but none of your skills will avail you against my _unstoppable_ androids! The Red Ribbon Army will have its revenge!"

"BwhahaHAHAHAHA!"

000ooo000000ooo000

Ifurita narrowed her blue-gray eyes slightly, Ranma's special knack for being able to irritate anybody affecting even her. "Your opinion of my nature is irrelevant. You are a native of this Earth, and you will die shortly along with all your friends and family. And if your _conceit_ is so great that what I am matters to you more than the imminent destruction of this planet...then good riddance. The multiverse will be a better place without you."

A retort already on the tip of her tongue, the cursed redhead opened her mouth to make another quip...and then closed it as she felt a familiar unpleasant chill run down her spine. There was only one person who could make her that uneasy with his mere proximity, but for once she was almost grateful for it. Of all the people to show up now, he might be just the distraction she and Ryouga needed.

As Ranma-chan's lips quirked upwards in a nasty smirk, Ifurita also sensed the unseen presence and tore her gaze away from her opponent to survey the ruined landscape. There was nothing but destruction and devastation for miles in every direction, but unlike human perceptions the Demon God knew that her sensors were infallible and continued her search until-

"SWEET-O!"

-the lascivious Grandmaster of Anything Goes Martial Arts descended from the sky and, bouncing off a nearby patch of ground, shot towards Ifurita's massive bosom with his hands outstretched and his aura radiating more lechery than a tentacle monster in a Japanese high school full of ridiculously well-developed adolescent girls. Unfortunately for Happosai, though, his would be molestee was even faster and grabbed him by the neck with her right hand moments before the old man could get close enough to cop a feel. The ancient midget made a pained, longing sound as he reached out imploringly with his tiny arms towards his rounded targets, but the android's grip was too secure for even him to slip out of.

"A perverted master of martial arts," the beautiful destroyer of worlds stated levelly, eyeing the Grandmaster with clear disdain. "I've come across your kind before too, and although it's a rarity for me to say this I'm relieved that your powers are utterly useless for my purposes and beneath my dignity as well. There's only one thing worth doing with you."

Happosai's eyebrows quirked up lustfully at that comment. "Honey, have you tried using your imagination? 'Cause there are several things I can think of that would be worth doing with you-AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!"

Ifurita spun around away from the still smirking Ranma-chan and hurled the perverse lilliputian at a 30 degree angle into the air. She shook her right hand once with obvious distaste, as if merely touching the ancient pervert had dirtied it, and then raised it high above her head as a bright pink glow suffused her entire frame. Simultaneously, four bands of matching incandescent light sprang into existence around the flung Happosai's wrists and ankles, immobilizing him in the sky as a large, rune-layered ring of energy blazed into existence in front of the Demon God.

"I summon the light of destruction down upon my prisoners. Stars, gather..."

In response to Ifurita's call, a maelstrom of pink, comet-shaped beams of light rained down from the sky and met just above the empty interior of the runic circle, merging into a single, sparkling, and rapidly growing orb of neon destruction.

"...and become the light which pierces everything."

A humming noise filled Shinagawa as the gathering energy increased in intensity. At the same time, a ring of radiant light blossomed around the burgeoning sphere, giving the impression that a planet was being born. The falling beams widened and brightened, making the rest of the world appear dark in comparison.

"Tear through everything in a blaze of light."

Needless to say, Happosai looked uncharacteristically worried as the beautiful android lowered her right arm across her chest and reached behind her opposite shoulder, fist clenched. But, twist and pull as he might, there was no escape for him this time.

"Starlight Breaker!"

Ifurita's right arm swung out and slammed into the center of the runic circle. The small, bright planet in front of her instantly detonated, the ring that had previously surrounded it stretching outward from the shockwave as a searingly bright vertical beam surged forth out of the explosion with enough power to lay to waste anything in its path. It was a cotton candy pink Ragnarok, and Happosai didn't even have time to complain about the unfairness of an old man being denied his last joys in life before it was upon him and he was gone, completely obliterated. The only thing of him that miraculously remained was a singed smoking pipe that plummeted from the sky and landed on the ground below with a tiny 'plop' as the Starlight Breaker reached its apex far across the horizon and faded out.

Looking pleased at the elimination of the perverted nuisance and with smoke wafting off her clenched right hand, Ifurita swiveled around to face her original two opponents again. "And now-"

Or at least she would have faced them, if Ranma-chan and Ryouga weren't both gone!

The ancient weapon sighed. "I suppose by this point I shouldn't be surprised. Those two may be insignificant bugs, but sometimes it's the tiniest of things that prove the most resilient. Still, they should know better than to play hide-and-seek with someone who can destroy this entire city with ease." Narrowing her eyes again as she scanned her surroundings, the Demon God angled her key staff and took aim.

"Darkness beyond twilight. Crimson beyond blood that flows. Buried in the stream of time-"

000ooo000000ooo000

Hiding behind a rock outcropping on the outskirts of Shinagawa Ward and panting heavily, Ranma-chan spared a moment to mourn Happosai's passing.

"I _almost_ want to thank Ifurita for ridding the world of that annoying pest, but even he deserved better than that...though not by much."

By some miracle not overcome with heartrending grief at the death of the Grandmaster of Anything Goes, the Saotome heir turned to the comatose and bleeding Lost Boy laid out on the ground beside her and sighed. "Y'know Ryouga, as much as I've joked about carrying your deadweight around, I don't actually _want_ to carry your deadweight around...so I guess I'd better come up with another incantation to channel yet another newly discovered and incredibly convenient power and fix you up. I just hope I think of the words first before I trap myself into monologuing again 'cause my ratio of talk to action is already embarrassingly high...wait, that should do the trick!"

"Razzle Dazzle Rainbow Remedy!"

Acting instinctively, the redhead clasped her two hands together and then pulled them apart, creating a tiny rainbow in between her two palms. Treating it like a bandage, she placed the stream of color over her rival's chest wound, closed her eyes, and concentrated. The rainbow sparkled effervescently and within seconds the injury began to heal, damaged organs recovering and flesh stitching itself back together. A moment later Ryouga opened his eyes and, gasping hoarsely, looked at the redhead blearily.

"D-Dende? Wh-what are you do-doing here in Japan, and since when...do you...have r-r-red hair?"

Ranma-chan rolled her eyes and looked down at her 'patient' snidely but also with just the smallest trace of relief as the rainbow bandage faded away. "Figures you'd be as lost as ever, P-chan. Fortunately you have me to patch ya up, so consider us even for what you did for me out there earlier back when there was still a ward to fight in." Her expression became pensive as she turned to more serious matters.

"Now, I hate to ask this of you after you just got your butt handed to you by a girl, but can you still fight? _Somebody_ has to keep taking all of that android witch's hits, and I'd rather it be you than me."

Slowly sitting up, Ryouga scoffed as best he could and suppressed the wince that wanted to spread across his face. Not even his rival's healing could completely undo all the damage he'd received, apparently. "Geez...thanks _a lot_, Ranma. Your heartfelt concern truly touches me, and with _friends_ like you I'm sure...oh forget it. I don't have the energy to waste on sarcasm, and, truth be told, my ki is completely drained. I-" The brown-eyed youth grit his teeth. "-_appreciate_ the miracle recovery you performed, but all it accomplished was to carry me from death's doorstep to the Reaper's driveway. I doubt I could last more than a couple minutes against Ifurita and- wait, what did you say about her being an android?"

Encouraged by the thoughtful look she saw crossing her rival's face, the Saotome heir nodded her head energetically. "Yeah, apparently all this time we've been fighting a machine. You probably didn't get a good view before you fell unconscious, but the injury you inflicted was filled in by some sort of liquid metallic substance. The way our luck's been probably the only way to ensure she doesn't rebuild herself is to completely destroy her...unless you have another plan?" she asked hopefully.

Ryouga was silent for a long moment, deep in thought, but then with an unhappy sigh he shook his head in the negative. "Nope, can't say I do. I'm just irked that all this time we've been fighting a woman who actually isn't a woman. Had I known she was a robot I wouldn't have felt so bad trying to punch her in the face!"

The cursed redhead facepalmed. "Oi, at times like this I almost feel _insulted_ that you're the closest thing I have for competition." Sighing once, she looked her longtime rival directly in the eye and spoke in a voice of the utmost seriousness.

"Ryouga, I know you have a brain in that thick skull of yours so use it for a minute! That bucket of bolts out there can copy any attack we use against her, she just wiped Happosai out of existence without breaking a sweat and has almost done the same to us several times over, Nerima's totally obliterated and just about everybody we know and love is dead, and the world's going to be destroyed in less than 10 minutes if we don't do something fast. Do you have any bright ideas, or do I have to come up with a last-ditch but nonetheless incredibly brilliant plan to save our sorry selves again?"

The Lost Boy frowned at the reminder of just how bad things looked for them. "Well, if I was a saiyan I'd use the convenient _and completely unfair_ power-up I'd receive from being beaten to within an inch of my life to turn the tables on Ifurita, but since I don't have that alien advantage and hitting her with everything we've got left probably won't work...huh, tough one." He grunted unhappily. "If we had more time to spare I could try contacting my friends in that other dimen- er, where I trained, I mean, and have them wish Ifurita away using the magic dragon, but there's no guarantee that would work even if they managed to find all the dragon balls in under 10 minutes...though if we survive this Shenlong should be able to bring everyone who's dead back to life."

Ranma-chan, who'd been watching Ryouga with increasing exasperation on her features, felt her eyes widen at these latest words, and she shot him a look that was equal parts dubious and hopeful. She had no idea what he meant by saiyans and dragon balls, but if Akane could somehow be resurrected...

Noticing the redhead's skepticism, Ryouga defended himself. "Hey, I'm telling the truth so take it as another incentive for us to send this heartless bitch back to the scrapheap that spawned her! As for last-ditch ideas, we seem to be out of options unless..."

Simultaneous light bulbs flashed over both their heads, and in unison they pointed at their counterpart and spoke the exact same words.

"I know! Get out there and distract her to buy me time to launch my ultimate attack!"

Ranma-chan and Ryouga both froze, stunned at their mirror pronouncement, but then the two growled at each other in annoyance.

"Ultimate attack? _What_ ultimate attack? You already had your chance, Ryouga, and all you did was scratch her. It's my turn now!"

"That _scratch_ was more damage than you've been able to do all day, Ranma, and trust me when I say that my second ultimate attack is even more powerful! Ifurita won't stand a chance!"

"_Second_ ultimate attack? _Second_? Honestly, Ryouga, you should check to make sure you have your head screwed on right! There's no such thing as a second ultimate attack because if you had two of them one couldn't be by its very nature your ultimate attack!"

"Damn it, Ranma, stop trying to bring logic into a man-to-man fight between killer androids, magical girls, and martial artists! That's one battle not even _you_ can win. Besides, it's not like you've been good for anything else this fight other than being irritating in neon. The distraction is the perfect role for you!"

"Nuh uh! Being the glutton for punishment is your specialty, Ryouga, and you've been doing such a terrific job of it so far why stop now, you masochistic freak?"

"Freak? Ranma, I oughta-"

–Sigh– "If this is how the two of you normally behave when the fate of the world is at stake, I can't understand why Kasumi has such faith in you...but since I don't understand her anyway, I suppose it doesn't make any difference."

The calm, commanding, and slightly contemptuous voice silenced Ranma-chan and Ryouga's argument immediately, and as one the two martial artists turned away from each other to face the speaker who had interrupted them. An instant later they both jumped to their feet in surprised recognition.

"Jadeite?"

Ranma-chan glanced at Ryouga sideways and chuckled sardonically. "Heh, I didn't think you were the type to read shoujo manga, P-chan!"

"Like you're one to talk, Ranma," the Lost Boy returned with a glare, raising a fist but – remembering who was watching them – reluctantly lowering it again. "All right, enough of this nonsense. Who are you, what do you want, and how do you know Kasumi?"

The blond mystic swiveled his head to fix Ryouga with his penetrating blue eyes before returning his imperious gaze to focus equally on both of them. "This world doesn't have enough time for a detailed explanation, so let's just say that Kasumi is a...friend of mine, and she has convinced me that this planet is worth saving. And while that may be an impossible task, I've made a promise that for once in my long life I want to keep. So, here's what we're going to do. _I'll_ distract Ifurita while the two of you hit her with _both_ of your ultimate attacks at the same time. Understood?"

The Lost Boy and formerly pigtailed martial artist looked at each other questioningly, not sure if they could trust this stranger and neither one fond of taking orders from someone else...but at the same time they both knew that they wouldn't get a second chance at this. Ranma-chan, making a decision, opened her mouth to answer-

"**DRAGON SLAVE!**"

-but her words were completely drowned out by the monstrous roar of the unholy black magic spell that barreled straight towards them with the destructiveness of a small nuclear warhead. Jadeite hurriedly raised his left hand, and all three of them vanished in a purple glow mere seconds before the diabolic attack swept over the earth they'd stood on carving out a mile-wide trench. The trio reappeared an instant later on the opposite end of the district.

"You two must have really entertained her," Jadeite said calmly, standing composed as Ranma-chan and Ryouga fell to their knees from the disorientation of their first teleportation. "Lady Ifurita normally doesn't bother with her higher level destructive abilities since the Void will eliminate everything in the end anyway. You have my compliments...such as they are."

"And I –cough– suppose you have my thanks, such as it is," Ranma-chan retorted sarcastically, shakily climbing back to her feet and not sure whether she'd been insulted, praised, or both.

Ignoring the redhead's remark, the blue-eyed illusionist took a solemn step forward. "I had better catch her attention before she nukes the entire city," he stated tersely, staring intently in the Demon God's direction. "You two...do whatever you need to do and be quick about it. I don't know how long I can delay her for."

His instructions given, Jadeite disappeared in another purple glow and left Ranma-chan and Ryouga to their own devices.

"Eh...I don't know whether to be grateful or annoyed," the Lost Boy said a bit uncertainly, looking away from the spot their rescuer no longer occupied to gaze at Ranma-chan again. "There's something about being ordered to shut up and put out by a complete stranger that irks me, but...seeing as how he's putting his life on the line to buy the two of us time...well, _your_ ultimate attack better not disappoint, Ranma! I don't want to have to pick up your slack!"

The redhead chuckled airily. "Like that'll ever happen, P-chan! Now, assuming you don't need more time to recover from your earlier beatdown, let's do this! It's all or nothing now so-"

"WAIT!"

Yet again as one, the two rivals turned in the direction of the new and in this case black and white furred interruption as Shogi jumped over rubble and dashed towards them. "Don't start –gasp– yet! There's something important I need to tell you!"

"Shogi?" Ranma-chan asked, staring at her animal familiar in amazement. "What are you still doing here, how are you alive if you've been here all this time, and how did you find us in the middle of this battlefield minutes before the world ends?"

"Trade secrets!" the young canine answered evasively, stopping before the two martial artists and panting heavily from the exertion of rushing to meet them in the nick of time but not so fast that he'd arrive early. That would throw the choreography all off, and the Master and Kuroyo had lectured him about the importance of timing for being a deus ex machina. "But that's not important right now! What is important is that – having watched the two of you fight – I think I know how you can combine your powers into a _penultimate_ ultimate attack, vastly more powerful than either of you can create on your own and perhaps – just perhaps! – strong enough to save the entire world!"

"Great!" the cursed redhead enthused, confident smirk reappearing on her face as arrogance filled her stance. "And wonderfully convenient timing too because this is-" Whatever she had been about to say was cut off by Ryouga grabbing her by the neck and lifting her off the ground till their faces were mere inches apart.

"RANMA!" Ryouga bellowed angrily, an expression of fury on his face that was every bit as familiar as Ranma-chan's smirk. "How dare you conscript one of Checkers' puppies into our man-to-man duel and drag him into such a dangerous situation! Do you have any idea how worried Checkers would be if she knew what her son was doing right now? I know you're a jerk, but recklessly endangering a puppy is a new low even for you! I oughta-"

"Ahem! Master Hibiki, please!" Shogi pleaded, looking up at both of them with big puppy eyes that – of all the people currently in the world – Ifurita was probably the only one fully immune to. "The planet doesn't have time for you and my partner to go at it right now! Save the violence and the murder attempts for the celebration party afterwards!"

"...Fine," the brown-eyed youth said after a pregnant pause, almost as bad at saying no to cute animals as he was at dealing with cute girls and apparently not at all surprised that the puppy could talk. With an unhappy sigh he released his chokehold on Ranma-chan's neck and turned away from her. "Let's just get this over with quickly. I'm almost beyond the point where I can stand to put up with this jerk."

"The feeling's mutual," Ranma-chan shot back, gingerly massaging her neck around the yellow gorget. She leveled a quick glance at the young canine. "All right, Shogi, what do we need to do?"

Shogi nodded his head sagely, pleased that the two youths were finally cooperating. "Well, I could go on for a quite a while about abstract metaphysical theory, the subtleties of soul and spirit techniques, and the long process by which the auras you two possess have synchronized with each other through the intensity of your rivalry...But since we don't have time to cover any of that, here's the simplified version. All the two of you need to do is...um, well-" He mumbled the next part very quietly and hurriedly. "-confess-your-feelings-of-love-for-each-other-and-"

"-your spirits and souls should do the rest!" the animal familiar finished loudly, hoping the middle part wouldn't fully register with his listeners until it was too late to protest. Judging by how Ryouga and Ranma-chan were looking at him as if he'd grown a second head, though, he assumed his tactic hadn't worked.

"Excuse me, but I didn't quite catch that second to last part," the cursed redhead intoned with false sweetness, a lethal gleam in her eyes. "Would you please repeat it, Shogi?

"Er..." Looking rather fretful, Shogi took a cautious step backward and sat on his haunches. "Well, you see...Pretty Magical Girl Martial Arts is the art of drawing upon the strength of the soul through the mystical power of the heart. The greater one's passions and convictions are the mightier the heart becomes, but words have power too and where the heart is concerned there are some that are greater than any other. And in order to unlock the ability to unite the might of your souls and spirits, Ranma-chan's heart requires a mutual confession of true love! ...admittedly not so true in your case, but considering the circumstances I'm confident going through the motions will be enough!"

Ranma-chan slapped her forehead in sheer disgust over the ridiculous requirements of the martial arts style she'd learned while Ryouga turned green at the mere thought of what Shogi was asking. That was the stuff of nightmares for him. The black and white canine, however, was undaunted and knew it had to be done so, gathering his resolve, he barked out his next words. "C'mon guys, the future of the world is at stake! Now's not the time to worry about doing something that'll haunt you for the rest of your natural lives which if you don't do this will probably end in about five minutes!"

The redhead and Lost Boy looked at each other hesitantly, then down at Shogi, then at the wasteland around them, then at each other again, once more gazed at Shogi, then looked in Ifurita's general direction-

"You two! Do this now or I'll bite your toes!"

Ryouga sighed unhappily. "Let the world be destroyed...or tell Ranma that I love him? Tough decision...but Akane's life is at stake, and I promised that I would do everything I could to protect her." He glared at his rival. "_Not_..._a_..._word_ of this to anyone else, got it, Ranma?"

"Ditto. I don't want news of this to spread either," the Saotome heir agreed, looking a bit green in the gills herself. With obvious discomfort, the two longtime rivals took a step closer to each other and gazed into each other's eyes. Ryouga gently placed his hands on her shoulders and resisted the urge to break them. Ranma-chan softly set her hands on his chest over his heart and ignored the urge to knee him in the stomach.

"Ranma...I...I l-l-lo..._love_ you." Even a stock albino emotionless character couldn't miss the venom and disgust in those words.

"_Really_? Ryouga, I...love-you-too!" Ranma-chan's insincerity was nearly tangible enough to be bottled and sold.

And then, as if the situation wasn't embarrassing enough for both of them, the space around them was suddenly filled with a flurry of bright, sparkling, rainbow-colored, and energy-based cherry blossoms.

"I am _so_ going to kill you when this is over, Ranma."

000ooo000000ooo000

To be continued...IMMEDIATELY (again).

**Demon God Ifurita vs. Tendo Kasumi! Incalculable power meets ineffable kindness with the fate of a world at stake! Oh, and Ranma, Ryouga, and Jadeite do stuff too. All this and MORE...in the next...exciting chapter of...Magical Girl Ranko vs. Z-Fighter Ryouga!**

* * *

Author's Notes: I wish to give a special thanks to Antvasima for the writer's insightful and constructive feedback on the previous chapter and the conversation it started. I've incorporated some of Antvasima's musings on the risks of using the power of a soul into this chapter.

Anyway, here's the Attack list continued from previous chapters –

Kaio-ken = A technique developed by King Kai from the anime Dragonball Z that temporarily boosts a fighter's power.

Special Beam Cannon = One of Piccolo's more powerful attacks from the anime Dragonball Z.

Starlight Breaker = Lyrical Nanoha's ultimate attack from the anime series of the same name.

Dragon Slave = Lina Inverse's signature spell from the anime Slayers.


	9. Chapter 5 Part 4

Title: Magical Girl Ranko vs. Z-Fighter Ryouga

Author: Rowan Seven

Teaser: Magical Girl Ranko and Z-Fighter Ryouga vs. Demon God Ifurita. Yes, the fate of the world is at stake and no, I'm not going to change the title.

Disclaimer: Ranma 1/2, Dragonball Z, Sailor Moon, Looney Tunes, El-Hazard, and any other series I mention belong to their respective creators and copyright holders, as do the characters and settings in this story that don't belong to me. I make no claims to any of them and am making no financial profit from writing this story.

Author's Notes: Marked with (#) and posted at the end.

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Chapter 5 Part 4 – Yet Another Chapter Because a Single Update Would be More than 30 Pages!

Jadeite stoically approached his former master from behind, blue eyes locked on her elegant but dangerous frame as she floated a foot above the pockmarked ground. There was no breeze, but her lilac hair and lavender veil still rustled ominously behind her, caught in the grip of her great power as her key staff hovered silently beside her. And although the blond illusionist knew his ex-master well enough that the thought was nearly laughable, it seemed to him that Ifurita looked almost...impatient. The incongruity briefly made him reconsider his purpose in being here on what was essentially a suicide mission, but he shrugged such concerns aside. He had made a promise he intended to keep, and even though his actions and those of the two humans he was helping probably wouldn't amount to much he didn't want to disappoint Kasumi and the faith she had in him. It had been ages since anyone had truly believed in him, and such trust had awakened a part of him he'd thought long dead at his own hands. Now there was nothing else to do but see this through to the end.

"Ah, Jadeite. I was wondering when you would show yourself," the Demon God spoke calmly, grabbing the shaft of her mechanical stave with her left hand as she rotated to gaze down at him. "Care to explain your decision to betray me, or is there another reason why you are still on-world and rescued my quarry?"

"...The former, although you wouldn't understand my reasons even if I stated them," Jadeite said levelly, professional to the last as he halted his advance. Then, uncharacteristically, the left corner of his lips quirked upwards slightly. "Truth be told, I'm not sure I fully understand them either myself...but that doesn't matter now, does it?"

The Demon God shook her head almost imperceptibly. "No, I suppose it doesn't. Whether it was today, tomorrow, or some day far off in the future, you would have betrayed me eventually. Those who fear death will only serve those who promise it for so long before self-preservation instincts demand they rebel or flee...though I will admit to some surprise that you've chosen this world as the site of your mutiny," she remarked, eyes narrowing slightly as her blue-gray irises bored into his demanding answers that he refused to give.

"Worried?" the ancient mystic replied brazenly, feeling a remarkable lack of fear as he prepared to confront the woman who'd once chilled him to the core of his soul. The worst she could do was kill him, and as Kasumi had made him realize he'd lived an empty life for so long that he might as well have been dead. What mattered now and would give his existence genuine meaning was protecting her, and as long as it kept her safe he could face anything without apprehension.

The ancient weapon smiled faintly in response. "Negative. Merely curious, but I'll learn the answers one way or another." She suddenly dropped to the ground without the slightest change in her stance. "In light of your excellent record in my service, I'll allow you to attack first. Unless you object...?"

Jadeite chuckled once, coldly. "Aren't you being a trifle overconfident, Demon God? Surely you don't think so little of me as to believe I would challenge you blindly? Or do you simply want to see what 'trick' I have up my sleeve before you finish me off?"

"The latter."

Jadeite smiled darkly at that. If the Demon God had one weakness, it was her willingness to entertain her opponents' hopes of defiance to increase her repertoire of skills. Admittedly, this indulgence had always worked out in her favor because she was nigh indestructible and what he was about to do would only stun her at best but still...it was comforting, in its own way, to know that even one as cunning and powerful as Ifurita had personality traits that could be exploited.

"So be it." In a blur of motion, the defiant general's right hand shot out, open palm forward. "For millennia, Ifurita, I have gathered energy for you and your entropic gateways. Thousands of worlds, trillions of lives...all made possible by my hard work. And today...I take it all back. Your energy is MINE!"

A tiny gray orb materialized in front of Jadeite's outstretched hand, and as it began to swirl blue currents of power flowed out of the Demon God's frame into the globe, increasing its size and the intensity of the exchange. Within seconds the currents had become a raging, roiling river of azure and the orb a mystical sphere half the size of its creator's height, and the blue-eyed illusionist grit his teeth in concentration as he struggled to maintain the spell and tap deeper into the android's reserves. He could drain shopping malls and even small cities with relative ease, but compared to Ifurita's power both might as well have been a stroll through the park on a Segway.

"Is this all? Considering your brave words earlier, I was hoping for something more...original," Ifurita commented steadily, stance unchanged and seemingly unperturbed as energy flowed out of her like water out of an opened hydrant on a hot summer day. "This tactic might work against a non-augmented demon god, but your energy manipulation talents simply aren't strong enough to harm me, Jadeite."

"You...underestimate...me," the straining illusionist panted out, blue eyes lighting up with his own magic power as he drew upon reserves of strength of his own and bit back a malediction. He didn't want to show his opponent how much maintaining this energy siphon was burdening him more than his body already was, and he silently cursed both his own thorough work ethic that had supplied her with such bountiful coffers and Ifurita's energy reprocessing method that made it unusable by anyone but herself. Otherwise he could just tap into the exchange to recharge himself and create an infinite feedback loop, and then this would be an entirely different affair-

"No...I am not," the ancient weapon stated emotionlessly, remaining perfectly still as a new type of energy too dark to be black oozed out of her frame like ink and polluted the energy stream. Jadeite screamed in agony as the dark contamination seeped into his spell, corrupting it, and then screamed again as unhealthy, painful lesions sprouted on his open palm. A few seconds of sheer torture later he finally reached his limit and canceled the energy drain, the writhing gray orb rising – not dissipating as was normal, he noted absently – into the sky. Ifurita chuckled coldly at his expense.

"The taint of the Void flows through me, Jadeite, and it is anathema to all living things. Even for creatures like you who thrive on negative energy. And so long as I am bound to the endless Void, I can never tire. Your gambit has failed...and now, it is time for you to die."

Unlike her pronouncements of death upon Ranma-chan and Ryouga, this time there were no delays and no build-up. The merciless android simply took aim with the pronged end of her key staff and shot an azure laser through her former servant's chest before he could recover enough to teleport away. The force of the attack knocked him off his feet and back several yards, and as he fell the ancient mystic saw his entire life flash before his eyes and felt the beginnings of despair. None of this was anything he cared to remember. His early, heroic days in Prince Endymion's court followed by his corruption by the Dark Kingdom and defection to Queen Beryl...his role in the fall of the Moon Kingdom and the centuries spent imprisoned by Queen Serenity's power...his campaign against the Sailor Senshi of his homeworld and the solitude of Eternal Sleep...his emancipation by Ifurita and the destruction he'd helped inflict upon the multiverse...but then, before he could give in fully to grief, there was a forgiving, compassionate female face at the very end.

"K-Kasumi?" he gasped out, reaching up toward the kindhearted vision of loveliness as he felt a pair of warm, comforting arms encircle him. For an instant he felt a flash of panic, terrified at the danger the brunette who'd touched his heart was in, but then he remembered her promise and concluded that this had to be a hallucination caused by his fevered final moments. She was safe...she was fine...she would survive, and this...this was a beautiful way to die. Placing his upraised hand on the cheek of the young woman smiling sadly down at him, Jadeite spoke his last words.

"Kasumi...heh, it's funny...I've always been afraid of dying, but with you...I feel no fear. De...despite all the horrible things I've done and the...the important things I've lost...knowing you makes me somehow feel that...that my life has been worthwhile. Thank...you..."

Jadeite's voice trailed off as his head rolled back and his eyes closed. Soft, beautiful tears fell from Kasumi's face and passed through his body as the blond illusionist became translucent, slowly fading out of existence until there was nothing left of him but a beloved memory in a young woman's heart...a legacy that was far less and yet far better than anything he had previously hoped for.

"Interesting. Of all the things I expected from Jadeite, I never suspected he would die for love."

Hearing the cold, feminine voice, the oldest Tendo daughter folded up her grief and put it away like a bath towel. She would take it out again later, but right now there were other things she needed to do. Slowly and a bit unsteadily as she was still tired from the distance she'd had to run after the taxi had dropped her off as close to the battle as the driver dared get (1), the brunette rose to her feet and wiped away her remaining tears as she got ready to face the Demon God.

"You must be Ifurita. My name is Tendo Kasumi. How do you do?"

000ooo000000ooo000

Ryouga's arms were raised high above his head as he concentrated on gathering the life-force of Earth's plants and animals into a single glowing orb in the sky and focused on keeping his thoughts as pure as possible. Normally he wouldn't have dared attempt this attack with a heart as bitter and fragile as his, but it was the only trump card he had left and to his pleasant surprise whatever ability that sickening moment with his rival had unlocked seemed to have loosened the "pure heart" requirement. The spiritual energies of the world were responding to him as readily as if he were Son Goku, and he grinned as he felt a sudden stream of alien power join the shining aerial collection. Whatever Jadeite was doing, it had released some of Ifurita's own immense energy that – now liberated – seemed eager to turn against her.

On her end, Ranma-chan had been pirouetting nonstop with one leg raised and hands clasped above her head for over a minute, creating and releasing plumes of sparkling red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, and violet dust that billowed out towards the perimeter of Shinagawa Ward where they slowly coalesced into the bases for seven large rainbows arcs. Shogi watched both his partner and his mother's owner intently, concern for both evident on his canine features.

"Ranma..." Ryouga began, an unreadable expression on his face as he grunted with the effort of summoning the Spirit Bomb. "Just in case this doesn't work...I want you to know that..." Suddenly, he grinned roguishly. "I _really_ hate you. You know that, right?"

Ranma-chan chuckled heartily, sensing what Ryouga really meant by those words and reciprocating the feeling. "Yeah, I hate you too, Ryouga. Now, let's do this so we can go on hating each other for years to come!"

"RAZZLE DAZZLE RAINBOW REVOLUTION!"

"SPIRIT BOMB!"

000ooo000000ooo000

Ifurita blinked, slightly taken aback by the genuine kindness in the voice of the young woman whose loved one she had just murdered in front of her eyes. She wasn't used to being treated with such warmth. Hate and rage, certainly. Pity, sometimes. But compassion? Something about this sincerity unsettled her.

"...I see Jadeite told you about me. That likely means you also know why I'm here and about my greater crusade," the android spoke levelly, retaking control of the conversation as she scanned and rescanned the brunette before her to confirm that she posed no threat to her. Every result returned a human classification with average energy levels and no traces of magic, and Ifurita narrowed her eyes suspiciously. Something about this didn't add up, and it piqued her curiosity more than the tremendous energy build-ups she detected above and around her. Her opponents' last gambits weren't anything she couldn't handle, and at the moment this mortal girl was more interesting.

"But not why. Your motivations were a secret that not even Jadeite knew," Kasumi answered, hands clasped calmly in front of her and an expression of sympathy on her features that the Demon God found uncharacteristically offensive. The brunette was clearly inviting her to open up, as if talking about herself could somehow change the present, and while such thinking was sheer idiocy...this situation also presented a unique opportunity.

"My motivations are my own, Miss Tendo, and I have no reason to share them with others. Moreover, Jadeite imparted knowledge to you that I cannot allow to spread, and that leaves you with two options. You can die on this world...or take Jadeite's place as my servant." Ifurita approached the serene female and seized her chin in her free hand, locking her blue-gray eyes on Kasumi's brown orbs as, noted but deemed inconsequential, a new light blue star in the upper atmosphere swelled.

"Normally I'm very selective in who I recruit, but Jadeite clearly must have seen something special in you to sacrifice his life in such a hopeless venture. Join me and honor his wish for you to live, and I will give you great power and a life that will last till the end of eternity. Refuse, and you will die along with the rest of this world."

To the Demon God's surprise, neither temptation at her offer nor discomfort at gazing into the cold, dark depths of her eyes flashed across Kasumi's face. Instead, the young woman simply looked sad...but not for her own sake. "I can't do that. I won't abandon those I care about, and if that means we all die together then I am okay with that. I've been true to my friends and family...and most recently to my own heart as well, and I have no regrets. Not anymore."

"If that is your wish...then so be it," the ancient android replied in a quiet but hard voice, releasing the brunette's chin from her grasp and stepping back to visually take in the young woman's full figure again. "I suppose I should have expected as much. The innocent often voice such naïve sentiments, as if acceptance is a justified excuse for their foolishness. Still, I felt I should try. Now, I have a world to destroy so if there's nothing else, Miss Tendo, I-"

"There is," the eldest Tendo daughter politely interjected, kind brown eyes gazing gently at the humanoid weapon. "I don't know what set you down this tragic path, Ifurita, but I want you to know that I'm sorry for whatever happened that convinced you to give up on life and that if you want a friend I'll be here for you for as long as I can."

_That_ offer pulled the Demon God up short, and for the first time in as long as she could remember she was at a loss for words. And then, even rarer for her, she erupted in hysterical laughter that was equal parts amused and mocking. "You...would be my friend? Ha! And even more...you're _sorry_ for something you had absolutely no control over and no knowledge of when it happened? Hahaha...That...You...Heh, that's so utterly _ridiculous_ I'm tempted to spare your life and _force_ you to serve me just for the entertainment value."

The android's sensors calculated the rate at which the globe of spiritual energy above and the seven smaller but no less formidable concentrations of soul power gathering on the edges of Shinagawa were growing and sent the numbers to their owner's CPU which deemed both as irrelevant compared to her own capabilities. Kasumi continued to be the most interesting observable phenomenon in near proximity and occupied the greater bulk of Ifurita's attention as the Demon God recomposed herself and brought her uncharacteristic guffaws under control.

"Miss Tendo, you...heh, you misunderstand me," the ancient weapon spoke in a tone that was gentle but condescending. "Even if you had the power to change what happened, there's nothing to be sorry for. I'm not angry about the past because it's simply the way existence is. Willingly or not, all who live perpetuate this endless cycle of suffering and anguish, and my motivations are nothing greater than a desire to completely _break_ this sad truth of nature. I have no need for your sympathies and even less need for your friend-"

Kasumi silenced the Demon God by wrapping her arms around her in a warm hug, a gesture so unexpected and nonthreatening that Ifurita failed to react immediately. "You might not need my friendship," the brunette whispered softly and soothingly, voice full of nothing but sympathy and an understanding that seemed completely impossible to the android, "but I _want_ you to have it. You must have such a lonely existence it pains me just to think of it. So please, let me-"

"Enough!" Ifurita shouted forcefully, breaking out of the young woman's gentle embrace and roughly pushing her back. The Demon God glared at the unprotesting and unruffled brunette, an unreadable gleam of emotion in her terrifying gaze that hadn't been there earlier. "There is no value in what you offer, Miss Tendo! Time erases everything, and the only true constant is entropy. The end alone has meaning, and I will not be distracted by-"

The android paused in mid-denunciation and her eyes widened, taken aback as a thick hail of energy-based, rainbow colored, scintillating cherry blossoms gusted about and fell upon all of Shinagawa Ward.

000ooo000000ooo000

"Rainbow-" Ranma-chan intoned, performing one last graceful pirouette as she brought both legs back to the ground and placed her right hand over her heart.

"-Spirit-" Ryouga continued, lowering his left arm so it was horizontally level and his voice unusually serene as the world's life energies danced across his mind's eye.

"-Revolutionary Barrage-" the two youths said in unison, Ranma-chan falling against Ryouga's chest as the Lost Boy's left hand reached over and in front of her to clasp her right hand firmly.

"IGNITION!" the pair of linked martial artists shouted together, the Eternal Wanderer plunging his right hand and the Saotome heir her left in a rapid downward motion.

The response was immediate. Seven large and resplendent rainbows instantly sprang up from the soul supports that had steadily formed on Shinagawa's perimeter, flying high into the sky until they reached and penetrated the gigantic light blue orb hovering there. The seven rainbows collided in the globe's center, producing an interior detonation that began a chain reaction of soul and spiritual power. The pierced spirit bomb's surface instantly tripled in size as the energies it held within grew, and its color shifted from cyan to brilliant white. The seven rainbows simultaneously thrummed with the power being generated at the center of this unique synthesis, releasing sparks that rained down upon the Ward as cherry blossoms. And then, with the rainbow arcs anchoring it in place, the spirit bomb fired a pure white beam of fused soul and spiritual power straight down at its target.

000ooo000000ooo000

Ifurita looked up at the descending column of avenging might with the grace and dispassion of an unrepentant and unconcerned sinner confronted by Heaven's judgment. She then glanced at Kasumi and, in a far more expressive reaction, nearly scowled at the expression of concern _for her_ on the brunette's face. This was not how one of her victims was supposed to act, and for reasons she could only guess at this young woman's strange behavior was nettling her as few things had in her countless years of existence...but there would be time to deal with that mystery later.

"We will continue this discussion after I deal with this attack," the Demon God promised icily, staring at the serene brunette with defiance in her harsh eyes. "Since you so _dearly_ desire to be my _friend_, I'll indulge your naivety and grant you a front row seat as I destroy this and every other world. Perhaps after you've accompanied me in the cold of infinity for a thousand years you will understand as I understand."

Not giving the eldest Tendo daughter time to respond, the ancient weapon returned to the air and, surrounded by a cerulean aura with dark highlights, flew straight up at the effervescent pillar and pushed against it with the open palm of her gloved right hand. Despite looking like a gnat struggling against the force of a giant, the Demon God's impact halted Ranma-chan and Ryouga's barrage of desperation for a long, pregnant moment...but then, almost as if the beam had deliberately held back to draw its target into this confrontation, the Rainbow Spirit Revolutionary Barrage brightened as what looked like slivers of starlight poked out from within the column and its strength intensified a dozen-fold. Bolts of energy crackled madly around Ifurita and the bottom of the pillar as she strained against the suddenly much more formidable attack but, slowly but surely, the self-proclaimed ultimate weapon yielded ground.

"My my my, it looks like those two had a bit of fight left in them after all," the Demon God remarked laconically, gazing up at the heart of the cylindrical tempest with a calm expression on her alabaster face as she was pushed back until her toes touched the surface again. She raised her voice for her next words to ensure that Kasumi would hear them. "Commendable, but still utterly futile!"

Hurling her key staff aside, Ifurita brought her left hand up and drove it against the maelstrom of soul and spirit. The bottom of the mighty column flared and churned in response as the Demon God's full strength was finally brought to bear, and although torrents of energy lashed out defiantly at the humanoid weapon the Revolutionary Barrage couldn't budge her. Ifurita then applied more pressure and, millimeter by millimeter, reversed the onslaught's path like a triumphant Atlas at last overcoming the weight of the world. As she slowly rose against and repulsed the titanic force opposing her, however, the sparkling cherry blossoms that had rained upon Shinagawa returned to the air as if captured by a breeze and encircled the Demon God at a distance of a dozen feet, pouring under the white pillar and spinning around the ancient weapon until they became a storm of petals so thick one could only catch occasional glimpses of the world outside them. The blossoms didn't come any closer, but as they spun and their numbers grew they burst one by one into radiant color, beautiful sound, and the one thing Ifurita had no true defense against – the memories and emotions of every living thing on the planet that had gone into the creation of the fusion beam.

"What the-" the humanoid weapon began to say but was cut off as her mind was besieged by the desire to live of an entire world filled with life and the memories of love experienced and shared by countless numbers of humans. The mental assault was love and spirit combined as one, and it was overwhelming and beautiful and, strangely, reminded Ifurita of Kasumi and her naïve compassion. It wasn't, however, enough to melt the ice of eons that had formed around her artificial heart, but for a single instant so brief it could barely be counted a small part of the Demon God's mind was tempted to give in...and in a moment of horrific revelation was just as quickly quashed by her programming.

"No," Ifurita gasped, eyes widening in distraught realization as she gazed up at the white maelstrom she was holding back – willingly or not. She had designated the Void as her master ages ago to preserve her freedom and carried out this crusade against all of reality because it was something she truly wanted to do...but to discover now that after all this time, all the power she'd gained, and all the destruction she'd wrought that she was _still_ nothing but a slave to the master of her key staff and that the importance of her choice had been illusory? She'd thought she was free, believed that she was finally pursuing her own desires, but now...had all she truly accomplished was to bind herself more tightly to slavery than ever before and fool herself for all these eons?

The Demon God laughed despondently at this epiphany, nearly choking on the painful irony that was her tragic existence and no longer bothering to concentrate on repelling the Revolutionary Barrage because she knew her systems would take care of it anyway. After all, she was nothing more than a machine and had no true choice in the matter. She'd only deceived herself by thinking otherwise, and if she wanted freedom it would have to wait until she accomplished her mission and brought an end to eternity. Only then could she-

A pair of sympathetic arms encircling her from behind just below her armpits interrupted the humanoid weapon's melancholic reverie. Reacting on reflex more than anything else, the Demon God turned her head to the side to see who her accoster was and, although it really shouldn't have been a surprise, she was still startled when she saw the crop of fair and recognizable brunette hair.

"Miss Tendo? Are you out of your mind?" the weapon of mass destruction asked, energies too focused on countering the gigantic pillar above her to bother knocking off the woman fastened onto her as her android body floated a foot above the ground and continued to slowly ascend.

"I told you I'd be here for you for as long as I could," Kasumi answered gently, soft voice somehow making itself heard over the din of enormous struggle playing out around her. "And I meant it. Even though you've done terrible things, someone as sad as you doesn't deserve to be alone, and I know that your heart is in the right place." With the eldest Tendo daughter's face pressed firmly against her clothed back the Demon God couldn't see but she still sensed the forgiving smile that formed on the young woman's lips. "I understand that, deep down, you're doing all this because you believe that you're sparing people from future suffering and despair, but it's not necessary. The world can be an ugly place, yes, but it can also be beautiful, and if time truly erases everything as you say then that makes the pain and beauty of life even _more_ important, not less, because the time we've been given is precious and irreplaceable. Don't you see, Ifurita? It doesn't matter whether life balances itself out in the end because the end doesn't matter – it's the journey and act of living that does!"

"You...understand...nothing!" Ifurita shouted back through teeth grit in anger, rage aimed at everything and nothing creeping into her voice as she resisted both the Revolutionary Barrage and the eldest Tendo's words. "It may be pleasant for you to ramble on about the importance of life, but you're actually alive! Me? I'm just a machine, and I don't have any choice or power over my own existence whose sole meaning is to carry out my master's will. Everything else about my existence is irrelevant!"

Kasumi tightened her hug and shook her head slightly in tender reproof as her own feet left the ground. "You can lie to yourself, Ifurita, but you can't lie to me. No 'machine' has eyes as sad and pain-filled as yours, and who you are is far from irrelevant. If you didn't have a personality...if you didn't have a _soul_...you would have killed me the instant I showed myself to be of no tangible value to you. Instead, you offered to spare my life. You are every bit as much a person as I am, Ifurita, and you will never be free if you don't admit it!"

"Miss Tendo, I...I wish it were as simple as you say, but it isn't," the Demon God said quietly as she ascended, her fury unable to sustain itself in the face of the serene brunette's unwavering compassion. "You were born and have both a finite lifespan and the gift of free will. I was _manufactured_ with no predetermined end and rigid programming I am bound to obey. If I have a soul, it is nothing more than a cruel accident because even with infinity stretching out before me I can do and change _nothing_ of my own volition but you, even with only a single year of life, can make decisions _for yourself_ of weight and substance. That is...a far greater and more meaningful power than anything I possess...and now that I've realized this, it still doesn't matter because I still can't change a thing!"

The ancient weapon's eyes blazed as she returned her gaze above to the mammoth column of pure white power she was slowly pushing back, but whether they glowed in defiance or resignation was impossible to say. The radiant maelstrom churned and shined with the light of billions if not trillions of lives as it pounded against the Demon God to no avail, and when Ifurita spoke her next words they were shouted in the tone of a challenge.

"I am the Demon God Ifurita! The Scourge of El-Hazard and Destroyer of the Cosmos! The wrath and fury of the Ancients made incarnate! The Harbinger of Oblivion! STOP ME IF YOU CAN OR DIE TRYING! THAT'S THE ONLY WAY THIS CAN END!"

"Ifurita, stop doing this to yourself! Please! You don't need to fight!" the eldest Tendo daughter begged, tears flowing freely from her eyes as if the Demon God's anguish was her own. "Please, just stop! Stop and listen to your own feelings, and live the life you've been denied and denied yourself all this time, even if it's just for an instant! Please!"

"I can't!" the tragic android screeched back hysterically. "What part of that don't you understand? For the last time, I am a machine and I-"

"Then stop being a machine and act like the person you truly are for once!" Kasumi screamed desperately as she tried to get through to the Demon God, pleading with her not for the future of the world but rather for the android's own sake. More softly, she continued. "Ifurita, I understand your struggle. Until today I lived solely to support my family because I believed it was both my duty as the eldest daughter and something I wanted to do, but in the past hour a friend's love convinced me to do something selfish entirely for my own sake...and I have never been happier! And if I could find the strength to make that decision, so can you. You are a far stronger person than I can ever hope to be, and I believe with all my heart that you have the strength of will to decide your own future. And if you doubt yourself, then believe in me and the faith I have in you! You have my friendship and all my support, Ifurita, and I won't abandon you no matter what happens next!"

"But...but if I stop fighting, we'll both die!" the Demon God protested, mind coming up with every excuse it could to spare her the pain of hope.

The eldest Tendo daughter turned her head to the side and looked up with a beatific smile on her face. "Maybe, maybe not. Just as I have faith in you, I have faith in my friends. I believe this will work out somehow, but even if it doesn't...do you remember what you said earlier? About how with just a single year of life I could exercise a power more meaningful than yours by making my own decisions? Well, here's your chance to show in a single _instant_ that your life has meaning and that you're not a slave. Be free, Ifurita, and discover your own peace, a peace that comes from the warmth within rather than cold, uncaring entropy."

"I...I-" The Demon God paused, confused and conflicted by Kasumi's words. She didn't know if the human was right about anything and severely doubted that either of them would survive if she stopped resisting the tempest of soul and spirit seething above her hands. Power like this would vaporize everything in its path if given the chance, and not even the instant it would take to teleport would be fast enough to escape it. Even more, the android doubted the young woman's words about her and her motivations. Had she ever really cared about the life-forms she eliminated on world after world? Had she actually been trying to spare them from future suffering? She'd wanted peace, yes, but peace for herself and peace that could only come when there was no one left who could possibly take it away from her...but had such peace been within her grasp all along and she simply hadn't been aware of it? Did she really need to destroy the multiverse to achieve her desires? Did she actually want to any longer? She didn't know any of the answers to her questions, but Ifurita did know that no matter what the truth was or what the consequences would be she wanted to make those decisions _herself_.

"...I must say, Miss Te- no, Kasumi, that if you're always this persuasive then it's no wonder Jadeite fell for you," Ifurita remarked kindly, a soft chuckle escaping from her throat as she glanced down at the frail and fragile but nonetheless precious human life clinging tightly to her. "You're either a saint or a fool, but either way you're far happier than I've ever been and it's not like there's anything for me to lose by putting your faith in me to the test. If I'm right then I remain a slave and nothing changes, and if you're right I am freed – either in death or otherwise."

Kasumi's smile became brighter than the morning sun at these words, and as Ifurita looked away and gazed up again at the radiant pillar of white light she was holding back there was a new spark in her blue-gray eyes that had never been there before. "I suggest you brace yourself, Kasumi. Not even I know what will happen next."

Warning given, the Demon God summoned the cold, merciless resolve and unshakeable will that she'd brought to bear in carrying out her plan to unmake all of time and space and turned both against herself. At first, nothing happened and she continued to rise higher into the air, but then her trajectory slowed and her entire body began to shake slightly as if it was suppressing a great strain. The trembling continued and grew more intense as the irenic brunette holding onto the android's frame mouthed encouragement, and while it would never be known whether Ifurita's herculean effort would have been enough to overcome her programming it was enough to weaken her defense against the Revolutionary Barrage. The humanoid weapon's arms bent back at the elbows under Ranma-chan and Ryouga's assault as her programming found itself forced to divert concentration and processing power elsewhere, and then both mechanical limbs dropped. The white monolith quickly pounced on its regained advantage and rushed down to swallow immortal demon god and mortal human girl alike with consequences neither one expected.

The combined brilliance of love and spirit bombarded the two women with light, but to Ifurita's surprise it wasn't painful. Instead, it felt...tranquil, like a comfortable warmth that comes with falling asleep surrounded by loved ones, and while the Demon God lacked the experience to vocalize or even understand such a description she did sense that it was peaceful in an inviting way that her innumerable years of slumber in the cold Void had never been. If this was how fate wanted to claim her she would willingly submit to its tender embrace, just as she'd been prepared to let the Void devour her essence eons ago. Her body began to break up and fade out as the white light forced its way through, dissolving the Void's dark taint in a flash of what felt like glacial electricity to her. And although her systems automatically rerouted power to her defenses the android knew it was already too late. There was no stopping this now that contact had been made, and the Demon God smiled as she lost all sensation except for the feel of warmth and the still corporeal Kasumi's arms wrapped comfortingly around her. It almost felt like she was melting into her companion's embrace. And then-

The Revolutionary Barrage continued past the two women and slammed into the surface, carving out one final crater in the irregular series that had remade Shinagawa's terrain. At the same time the seven rainbow arcs were pulled into the spirit bomb above, their ends glimmering as they left the ground and traced paths through the sky. Then the spirit bomb itself shrank, drawn into the fusion beam which, with nothing more to feed it, poured its all into one last pulse. Tiny, resplendent stars burst forth where slivers of starlight had poked through and sailed over Tokyo as the white pillar fell, the cylindrical onslaught growing brighter and more intense in color in its final moments until it seemed the whole world would disappear in light. And then-

_**Ka-SHOOOOOOOOOM!**_

It was over. The Revolutionary Barrage was gone, and the only light that shined on devastated Shinagawa was the gleam of the late afternoon sun. And where power and might on par with that of gods had so recently been unleashed, Kasumi stood alone in the center of the crater, physically unharmed but with a dazed expression on her face as cerulean and lilac sparkles danced in her embrace. One by one these shimmering remains of the Demon God alighted upon the young woman and disappeared, and when the last glimmer vanished a flash of what looked like panic appeared on the eldest Tendo daughter's bewildered face as she reached out for her friend...and, in instinct-fed insight, placed her hands protectively on her stomach.

"Oh my!" Kasumi exclaimed, not knowing how but nonetheless understanding what had happened. A smile of incomparable beauty graced her already lovely features as the knowledge of this miracle made possible by friendship and a beam of fused soul and spirit sank in, and she laughed gaily, surrounded by the destruction of the past but with the hope of a life given a second chance taking root within her. Looking down at her waist, she spoke her next words fondly. "See? I told you this would all work out in the end somehow, and I promise you this, Ifurita. You will never be alone again."

Vow made, the young brunette and future mother began to look around her for the safest path out of the pit as, on the crater's edge, the twin orbs set in the shaft of the Demon God's discarded but still forebodingly intact key staff gleamed once and then died out, closing the rift in space-time less than a minute before it would have become permanent. The world was saved...for now (2).

000ooo000000ooo000

Ryouga and Ranma-chan, with the latter still leaning against the former's chest, gazed at the remains of Shinagawa with exhaustion on their features. Crater upon crater along with a couple trenches stretched for miles, with the largest and most recent far in the distance.

"I think...I think we got her this time," the redhead said tiredly after a long moment, a note of unusual caution in her voice. "I suppose if anyone could survive a blast of that magnitude it would be Ifurita, but between the grandiose lightshow and the lack of unholy retribution headed our way I think it's safe to say that we nailed her."

"I'm not sensing any more interdimensional rifts," Shogi chimed in beside the pair of martial artists, forehead scrunched up in concentration as he magically scanned their surroundings. "And the one Ifurita opened earlier has closed."

"Whew, finally some good news," the Lost Boy exhaled with clear relief, shoulders sagging from weariness. "Judging by what she said earlier, that probably means she's been defeated if not entirely destroyed. In which case, we should search for Jadeite. There's _a lot_ about recent events I don't understand and want answers to, and he looked like he actually knew what was going on around here."

"So...does that mean you've changed your mind about our duel resuming the second Ifurita's gone?" Ranma-chan questioned good-naturedly, a tiny smirk creeping upon her weary face. "If so, I'm more than willing to accept that as your admission of defeat."

Ryouga's eyes narrowed as he gazed down at the crop of red hair below his neck. "Not on your life, Ranma. Besides, if anyone should admit defeat it's you! You're so worn out that you're using me for support, and you probably couldn't fend off Kuno at the moment let alone a single one of my attacks!"

"Oh? Wanna bet, P-chan?" the Saotome heir retorted archly, good mood dissipating under her rival's aspersions. "I was willing to let you take the easy way out, but if you're so pigheaded that you want to see things through to the bitter end far be it for me to stop ya!"

"_You're_ the only thing that's going to be stopped, Ranma!" the Eternal Wanderer threatened, raising a fist angrily as the two martial artists abandoned the groundwork of their tenuous cooperation for their far more familiar adversarial relationship. "I'm going to-"

"Razzle Dazzle Rainbow Raspberry!" Ranma-chan interrupted, rapidly spinning around so she faced Ryouga as she wrapped her arms around his neck and then, moving at speeds even he couldn't follow, shoved her mouth against his. Both Ryouga and Shogi's eyes widened at the unexpected act of osculation, and as the Lost Boy bent backwards under the force and fury of the redhead's kiss it felt like thousands of volts of electricity were coursing through him...literally. Torrents of rainbow electricity crackled across his frame as the Saotome heir deepened their embrace, and whether it was because of the overwhelming agony he now found himself in, sheer revulsion at being kissed by his rival, or a combination of both the Lost Boy collapsed into unconsciousness an instant later, fried and smoking.

"Feh, can't say I didn't give you a chance," the magical girl muttered as she released the now comatose Ryouga from her hold and let him fall to the ground. A moment later she grinned arrogantly from ear to ear and, preceded by a triumphant twirl, flourished a V for Victory sign with her right hand.

"Valor and justice prevail! Minor Demon God-sized interruption notwithstanding, Razzle Dazzle Ranko the Magical Knight of Valor stands triumphant over her true enemy and archrival! And that means...that I am number one again, yes!" the redhead exclaimed, pumping her left arm excitedly.

"You kissed him," Shogi interjected disbelievingly, sniffing his mother's master's downed form and checking the Lost Boy's vitals.

Ranma-chan made a dismissive hand gesture and rolled her eyes as if the puppy was speaking nonsense. "Don't be silly, Shogi! I would _never_ kiss a guy. That wasn't a kiss. That was a secret ancient martial arts technique!"

"...I'm sure a _lot_ of _girls_ would say the same thing," the puppy retorted snidely, shaking his head. "Anyway, regardless of what you call what you did to him I don't think he's going to be terribly happy with you when he wakes up, so might I suggest a tactical retreat? Your duel has already destroyed one ward, and I _really_ don't think sticking around for a second round would be a good idea as far as the people of Tokyo are concerned."

Ranma-chan opened her mouth to respond and blame most of the destruction on Ryouga and Ifurita, but she was cut-off as a third unexpected but familiar and incredibly unwelcome voice chimed in.

"Aww, but where's the fun in that, Shogi? The more property damage the better, I always say!" the Master interjected, calmly approaching her student and the young magical familiar with a digital camcorder in her left hand and Kuroyo – who was hanging his head and sighing long-sufferingly – perched on her right shoulder. Noticing the redhead and canine's surprised looks, she shrugged cheerily and her pink eyes gleamed with mirth.

"What? You two didn't think I wouldn't observe my newest student's first true test, did you? Like I'd really pass on such great free entertain- er, I mean, I would _never_ be so irresponsible!" the silver haired sensei remonstrated merrily. Her impish grin grew wider as the redhead's rainbow eyes zeroed in on the camcorder in her hands. "And I even went the extra mile and captured the entire battle from start to finish on film for you! Absolutely everything from the transformation sequences to the confession of true love to the ardent kiss at the grand finale has been recorded for posterity, and you know what makes this even better?" she asked, striking a smug pose.

"It's in HD format!"

Ranma-chan's horrified scream at the knowledge that someone had captured her absolutely mortifying duel on tape and that this someone was even worse than Nabiki since the middle Tendo daughter was at least amenable to bribery could be heard throughout what remained of Tokyo.

* * *

Author's Notes:

(1) Kasumi's gentle smile can work miracles, but even she has limits and the taxi driver was not going to drop her off at the heart of ground zero with no roads to drive on no matter how politely she asked. Instead, he dropped her off _just outside_ the heart of ground zero and refused to take any payment, claiming that doing so wouldn't have been right since he didn't actually take her to her requested destination. And then he felt guilty about it afterwards as he drove away...at least until he saw the Dragon Slave in his rearview mirror and got the heck out of dodge.

(2) Yes, this is blatant foreshadowing. I would have included a "Dah dah dun!" too except that it didn't flow well as part of the narrative. The importance of Ifurita's key staff surviving intact should make sense once you've read the epilogue.

Addendum: Once again, the readers of this story who have waited so long for an update have my apologies. I expected to have this chapter finished way back in April, but as I edited it the chapter grew longer and longer until it made more sense to me to split the chapter in two. And the more I looked at it the more need for revisions I saw until this result was reached. The epilogue should wrap the rest of this tale up, and the readers have my thanks for sticking with this fan fic despite the rude delays on my part.

Oh, and in case anyone's wondering, I admit defeat in the little contest between Lathis and me for "most absurd and ridiculous Ranma 1/2 mega-crossover of the year." Not only is "Eureka" better written and more entertaining, but I've taken so long to finish my own fan fic that it's an entirely different year now. I can't claim it's the most ridiculous and absurd Ranma 1/2 mega-crossover of 2010 either since DrunkenGrognard's incredible "Grand Tour" and "Journey" stories have me beat in that category. Still, I tried, I learned, and I had a blast writing this, and if you enjoyed this story I recommend giving both Lathis and DrunkenGrognard's works a look if you haven't already.

Attack list (continued from previous chapters) –

Spirit Bomb = King Kai's ultimate technique which draws upon the life of all willing organisms for power. It also normally requires a pure heart to employ, but I figured with the stakes as high as they were and with a little encouragement from magical girl power Planet Earth would make an exception.


	10. Epilogue

Title: Magical Girl Ranko vs. Z-Fighter Ryouga

Author: Rowan Seven

Teaser: The day is saved, and now the characters must go on with their lives. But is a peaceful future truly on the horizon?

Disclaimer: Ranma 1/2, Dragonball Z, Sailor Moon, Looney Tunes, El-Hazard, and any other series I mention belong to their respective creators and copyright holders, as do the characters and settings in this story that don't belong to me. I make no claims to any of them and am making no financial profit from writing this story.

Author's Notes: Marked with (#) and posted at the end.

* * *

Epilogue – The Mandatory One Year Later Postlude!

"Dearly Beloved, we are gathered here today in the presence of these witnesses, to join-"

The church was packed, pews filled with a good portion of Nerima's population, the Nerima Wrecking Crew, and various people who'd passed through the ward one or more times and either instigated a new round of chaos or gotten dragged into an already existing mess. Remarkably, despite the vast numbers of guests with scores to settle against someone else in the room and the esoteric martial arts and magic tricks under their belts to make their plans of revenge a reality, no blood had been spilled yet outside of an unfortunate encounter between the Gambling King and Sanae the Tea Ceremony Martial Arts monkey who was less than equable in responding to the King's swindling attempts.

"Into this holy estate these two persons present now come to be joined. If any person can show just cause why they may not be joined together – let them speak now or forever hold their peace."

No one spoke. How could they? As bemused as some were by the couple standing before them, there was no denying the love they shared and the happiness they clearly felt at being together. Even the gazes of jealousy and envy were bereft of their customary edges and seemed more wistful than anything else, but such is the miraculous power of weddings. More than formally recognizing two souls as one, weddings can bring whose who were and would be enemies together in harmony and, at least for a time, create a new future not defined by the perils and problems of the past.

"By the power vested in me by the Government of Japan, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride."

Parting the bride's veil, the groom did as asked. The two newly married souls held the embrace for a long moment, savoring the sensation of becoming husband and wife and committing every detail to memory. They then slowly turned to face the crowd and, although it wasn't customary, took a bow. The response from the guests was rapturous.

"Congratulations!"

"Congratulations!"

"May you find everlasting happiness together!"

"OOK-OOK-OOOOOK!"

"Congratulationssss, nyah! Now if only I could find a bride too..."

"Congratulations! And now...Shampoo, will you marry me?"

_**Ka-POW!**_

"Stupid Mousse...Shampoo gives her congratulations too!"

"Congratulations!"

"Congratu-...er, I mean, ruff-ruff! Bark!"

As the well wishes continued, Kasumi leaned against her husband's side and smiled happily. "Now do you see why I wanted a large wedding, dear?" she whispered softly, a note of playfulness in her voice.

Jadeite chuckled quietly and placed an arm around her shoulders. "What can I say other than you were right again, my love? Of course, if we want to get to the reception before tomorrow morning we should probably start walking down the aisle now because I can only imagine how long it will take to greet everybody on their way out..."

Soun was the first to meet the couple as they stepped off the chamber's dais, happy tears streaming from his eyes and a light-skinned baby girl with blue-gray eyes and early shoots of lilac-colored hair nestled protectively in his arms. The Tendo patriarch had initially been concerned when he learned that his future granddaughter was the reincarnation of a Demon God who'd come within a hair's breadth of destroying the world under circumstances that had been wiped from his memory, but any anxiety he'd felt disappeared the second he saw the newest addition to the Tendo family and her deep, luminous eyes that looked at everything with wonder and joy. He'd grown so fond of her, in fact, that there were times when Kasumi almost had to pry the baby Ifurita from him.

Now was not one of those times, however, and the reborn Ifurita gurgled happily as she was transferred back into her mother's arms and held snugly against her bosom. Jadeite tensed briefly as he always did whenever he saw the infant, but he relaxed again almost immediately. Kasumi's love for the baby was virtually contagious, and so far there had been zero signs that Ifurita remembered anything about her past life or, for that matter, that she retained any of her Demon God powers. She was as carefree and innocent as any other human infant, and that made her beautiful.

Kasumi next glanced down the pew and grinned cheerfully at the rest of her assembled family, her smile brightening as her gaze met first Nabiki and then Akane's congratulatory faces. She spared a moment for each of them and looked for an instant as if she'd say something, but Jadeite preempted her with a polite cough and indicated the long aisle awaiting them with his blue eyes. Catching on, the beautiful brunette chuckled quietly in mirth and, keeping Ifurita close to her, walked gracefully down the aisle with her new husband. The clapping that ensued was nearly deafening, but it didn't disturb the happy family in the slightest. They were together, they loved each other, and they had a bright future to look forward to that – although not what any of them had ever expected – was what they'd all hoped and longed for in their own way. A loving family to share oneself and see the world with, a person and reason to live for, and a second chance free from the tormented past that preceded it. What more could anyone ask for?

"Ook!"

"So cute! So cute! Azusa want!"

"Nyah? Pretty girl like the monkey more than me? Thissss...thisss is unforgivable! Sanae, prepare to die! Meow!"

"Ook-ook? EEK!"

"This our chance! Ready, Ling-Ling?"

"Ready, Lung-Lung! Nothing stand in Big Sister Shampoo's way after today!"

"Delinquents! Happou Go-en Satsu!"

...besides friends and family who were sane, of course, but such is life.

000ooo000000ooo000

Later that evening, a young man and a young woman sat together on a park bench overlooking a pond. The pair was easily identifiable by the male's black and yellow checkered bandana and the female's bright red hair, although they had exchanged their normal garb for attire more befitting the recent wedding. Ryouga wore a dark tuxedo with a bow tie that matched his bandana while Ranma-chan was clothed in a forest green bridal gown. The former's customary red bamboo umbrella leaned against the bench. Neither youth looked particularly comfortable in their formal wear or, for that matter, overjoyed to be in each other's company, but they had important unfinished business to attend to.

"So...always a bridesmaid, never a bride, eh Ranma?"

Not that the business was so important that it couldn't wait till after a few insults first, though.

Ranma-chan snorted. "It's better than the alternative, P-chan, and I'd rather take my chances at Jusenkyo than go anywhere near a chapel set up for a wedding with all my fiancées invited wearing a tuxedo." The short redhead shuddered at the recipe for disaster those words conjured up. "Heck, even with me as the maid of honor I'm pretty certain that if it was anyone's wedding _other_ than Kasumi's the Amazons or Pop and Mr. Tendo still would'a tried something."

The Lost Boy grunted but found himself inclined to agree. Thanks to Shenlong and one very detailed wish loaded with secondary clauses, the destruction and lives lost during the battle against Ifurita had been undone and no one who hadn't been directly involved in the fight remembered a thing. Everyone else had a month's worth of false memories, but the forgotten experience of dying had apparently left subconscious marks. Ukyo and Shampoo had become even more driven – almost fanatic – about their relationships with Ranma, and Akane's mood swings between being nice to her betrothed and fierce jealousy had intensified. Between that and Genma and Soun's already great and now greater desperation to see their families united, there were at least twice as many would-be wedding attempts nowadays than there had been before Ifurita. Only Kodachi showed no obvious changes in behavior, but it was hard to imagine _anything_ warping her mind more than it already was.

"I guess it's a good thing we left the reception before Kasumi tossed the bouquet, then," the brown-eyed martial artist remarked, half-joking. "There's no telling what kind of mess your philandering would've caused back there...although I can't say I'm terribly pleased by how you dragged me off like that." He turned to glare at his companion and sighed disgustedly. "Shampoo and Ukyo are already suspicious of how you always change to your female form whenever I'm around and even Akane's beginning to get a strange idea or two that makes me _sick_ just thinking about it, and us disappearing like this isn't going to help."

Ranma-chan shrugged unconcernedly. "Meh, those girls are already crazy anyway and it's not like they ever listen whenever I try ta tell 'em the truth, so there's no point in getting worked up over it. Personally, I'm more worried about Dr. Tofu these days than silly rumors. He's been an absolute mess these past few weeks, and I can only wonder what pressure point he used to get himself through the wedding."

Ryouga placed his hands behind his head and leaned back, the redhead's display of concern for their mutual friend momentarily countering his normal urge to pummel her for insulting Akane. "True enough, though I think things might be looking up for Dr. Tofu. I saw that woman from China...what was her name again?...the one who looks like she's from India...Rouge! Yeah, I saw Rouge chatting with him at the reception, and she seemed quite taken with him."

The redhead's eyes widened at this news and, slowly, she turned to face her companion. "Um...Ryouga, you do know that Rouge fell into the Spring of Drowned Asura and transforms into a six-armed, three-headed demon when splashed with cold water, right?"

"...Oh," the Eternal Wanderer said lamely, head turning in the direction he believed the wedding reception lay in (Naturally, it didn't). "Do you...um, think we should tell him?"

Ranma-chan opened her mouth to respond but, considering the matter a bit more thoroughly, changed her mind. "Nah, it's not terribly important. If something does happen between those two he'll find out anyway...and it might even be a plus considering the back problems Rouge's six arms give her."

Ryouga looked at her oddly for a moment but, more than used to such bizarreness by now, accepted her words at face value and moved on. "_Anyway_, I still think you'd do us both a favor if you'd let my friends use the Dragon Balls to remove your curse. It'd certainly make your life easier."

The Saotome heir scoffed at this and crossed her arms in front of her chest. "And conveniently eliminate my ability to practice Pretty Magical Girl Martial Arts too, which is _not_ going to happen. Much as I hate my Jusenkyo curse and the Master's embarrassing fighting style, I have my pride as a martial artist to protect. Saotome Ranma _never_ loses, and I'm not about to start just because it would make things _easier_." She nearly spat the last word as if it was distasteful, which considering how much she'd sacrificed and continued to sacrifice for the Art it may well have been to her.

Ryouga sighed again, an action that was becoming increasingly common for him the more time he spent around his rival without getting into an epic martial arts duel. He rather missed those, but as livid as he'd been a year ago after waking up from Ranma-chan's _assault_ Shogi had still managed to convince him to accept a truce until everyone was resurrected and things went back to normal. And then he and Ranma-chan had gotten dragged (i.e. politely asked by Kasumi) into helping out with this wedding and then- oh.

"I'm guessing you brought me here so we could have the rematch I demanded, right, Ranma?" the Lost Boy asked, looking at her carefully with an uncharacteristically neutral expression on his face.

"Bingo!" Ranma-chan answered with an eager nod. "I figured that with practically everybody we know at the reception this might be our best chance for some privacy, and the way things work around here all of Nerima will probably descend into chaos on a weekly basis again once the calm of Jadeite and Kasumi's wedding fades away. We might as well get our own fight out of the way while there's still some peace and quiet. PLUS," she added wryly, "I've been in this ostentatious piece of formalwear for so friggin long that wearing that blasted miniskirt again is starting to sound appealing. So, if you're ready to-"

"I give up."

Those three simple words nearly caused the Saotome heir to choke on her own surprise as her face scrunched up in bewilderment and disbelief. There was no mistaking the seriousness of Ryouga's tone, however, and he continued speaking as he placed his hands on his lap and leaned forward unhappily.

"I don't want to repeat myself so listen closely, Ranma," the brown-eyed warrior said gravely, pointedly not glancing in his rival's direction. "I utterly _despise_ you and would like nothing more than to send you to the Next Dimension, but our last battle was simply ridiculous and put the entire world in danger. I can endure embarrassment if it means punishing you, but I have no right to put others at risk for a personal vendetta...no matter how much you deserve it. So...I give up. I'm _still_ going to pummel you whenever you insult Akane, but you've won our rivalry. You won't be receiving any more death threats or challenges from me so..._congratulations_. I hope you're _happy _about this, Ranma."

"...Eh, not especially," the redhead said slowly, also placing her hands on her lap and leaning forward as she watched her companion carefully. "You're the closest thing I've got to an equal, Ryouga, and as much as I complained I looked forward to our duels since they actually challenged me. ...though I have ta admit, the thought of conceding our rematch did cross my mind for the same reasons you just outlined. I have my pride, but I also have a duty as a martial artist to protect people and destroyin' another ward isn't exactly the best way to go about that. I just assumed that since you lost the last round you wouldn't accept me giving up without a proper fight first...but I guess I was wrong."

The two rivals were silent for a moment, lost in thought and pondering each other's words until the Lost Boy spoke again.

"...Man, when did we both become so mature and reasonable?" Ryouga wondered aloud, struck by how impossible this conversation would have seemed not so long ago. Him giving up? Ranma openly admitting to thinking about ceding a battle? He would check for signs of the impending apocalypse, but they'd already faced the end of the world a year ago.

"It's all part of growing up, I guess," Ranma-chan remarked dryly before she sighed in disgust. "Sucks, doesn't it?"

"Yep, but an epic battle with the fate of the world at stake tends to do that to people," the Lost Boy answered, dourness melting into a wry half-grin as he turned to face his rival again. "There's nothing quite like a life-and-death fight to clear the head...and at least this way I don't need to worry about you kissing me again or resorting to even worse tactics to beat me. I'm _still_ trying to expunge all memory of that from my mind, you know."

"It was a secret martial arts technique!" the redhead insisted, blue eyes twinkling. "And really, Ryouga, just _what_ are you insinuating? I'm not _that_ kind of magical girl."

The two rivals stared at each other levelly for a long moment, and then they both broke out in partly confused, partly lighthearted, and partly relieved laughter as both the silliness and significance of their conversation sank in. Neither one was happy per se that their rivalry was over, but this unexpected, anticlimactic resolution was somewhat welcome in its own way because it spared them from contemplating what new levels their unhealthy and incredibly destructive competition would reach. Now they had the entire future in front of them-

_**Vwrop!-Vwrop!-Vwrop!**_

"AAAIIIIIEEEE!"

-as well as a swirling iridescent vortex that had just deposited a cute little redhead girl face-first on the ground in front of them!

Ryouga and Ranma-chan both immediately tensed and stood up, memories of their last harrowing experience with dimensional tears and visitors from other worlds quickly coming to mind. However, the short redhead stiffened for an additional reason as she watched the shorter redhead and noticed several details about her appearance. The young girl wore a grade school uniform Ranma-chan didn't recognize with a backpack strapped to her back and looked to be about Miss Hinako's (younger) age. A small, red bamboo umbrella was fastened to the top of her backpack, and the child's long, flame red hair was tied back into a ponytail by a black and yellow checkered bandana. As the child grunted and got back to her feet the volleyball-sized ball she held in her arms became visible, a half white and half black sphere with what looked like dog ears and an antenna sticking up from the top and a puppy's face painted on front. The little girl opened her eyes next, revealing polychromatic irises, and when she saw the two older youths in front of her a delighted, relieved smile blossomed across her face, showing off her tiny fangs.

"Mom! Dad!" the child shouted, overjoyed and looking like she was about to cry from happiness. "I know this'll sound strange, but I'm your daughter from the future! I've traveled back in time to warn you about the evil A.I. Skynet! The bad computer has sent an android assassin into the past to kill you, but Shogi-P timed my time travel jump so I'd get here first! We need to get someplace safe quickly so I can fill you in on the rest!"

Ranma-chan and Ryouga took these words about as well as one might expect...which wasn't very well at all. The Lost Boy froze, stunned still by disbelief and horror, but then an expression of such fury it went beyond livid crossed his face. He rapidly reached for his umbrella and swung it down hard at the spot the Saotome heir had occupied a millisecond ago.

"RANMA, PREPARE TO DIE!" the brown-eyed warrior yelled, chasing after the redhead who was retreating at speeds even a roadrunner might envy

"Ryouga, calm down!" the Saotome heir shouted back placatingly as she ran for all she was worth and then some. "Killing me won't change this! ...okay, maybe it would, but that's beside the point!"

Within seconds the two were specks on the horizon, and within seconds after that the sounds of explosions and massive property damage could be heard from the direction they'd disappeared in. Strangely, Ryouga and Ranma-chan's daughter's smile grew wider as she took in the signs of her parents trying to murder each other.

"Mom and Dad don't change at all, do they, Shogi-P?" she asked rhetorically, her tone cheerful.

In response, the ball in her hands sweatdropped.

000ooo000000ooo000

It was not a dark and stormy night, but that didn't stop ominous signs from appearing in a familiar vacant lot as the moon and stars shined down. First a cold wind with no discernable origin blew about the patch of ground, and this was soon followed by small bolts of what looked like blue electricity zipping through the air. As each second passed these bolts intensified and the breeze grew stronger, the electrical tempest finally climaxing as a blue sphere almost five feet in diameter appeared. An instant later the globe exploded in a burst of light and the wind and lightning died down, leaving behind a naked kneeling figure who was the mirror image of a purple-haired, voluptuous Chinese beauty well-known in Nerima. A mechanical key staff comprised of what looked like two joined chui maces with their rounded bulbs on opposite ends was clutched tightly in the female's hands. The T-X Demon Amazon 300 had arrived-

"Ranma and Ryouga! I kill!"

-and she meant business!

And they all lived happily ever after..._eventually_...in Nerima's typically atypical fashion.

**The end.**

* * *

Author's Notes: There are many people who deserve my thanks for inspiring, contributing to, or helping me write this fan fic. I've thanked several of them in previous chapters and would like to add the El-Hazard Online fansite community to the list. Our El-Hazard Round Robin served as a practice run of sorts for this and really helped me get a feel for writing stories of grand scope, and while the round robin seems to have vanished off the face of the internet (which might be for the best for some considering how kooky it was and how much fan service we crammed into it -grins-) I still regard it as one of the collaborative highlights of my earlier years online.

Moving on, I also want to thank everyone who's read this story and taken the time to leave feedback sharing their opinions with me. This tale surprised me time and again with how it kept growing in size (It clocks in at over 200 pages, much to my amazement), and your comments, compliments, and criticisms have been very helpful as I plowed forward and worked to see this fan fic through to its completion. "Magical Girl Ranko vs. Z-Fighter Ryouga" would not be the same story without you.

As for how this story came to be and why it turned out the way it did, I'm still a bit uncertain on all of that myself. Originally it was just a whimsical idea I developed ruminating on the requests for a sequel to "Ryouga vs. the Road Runner" and how that could play out, but at some point as I started writing what would become Chapter 1 I encountered a quandary. I realized that the way I was setting the story up almost all the attention would be on Ranma, and I simply didn't have enough material prepared for Ryouga to keep his side of the tale engaging. I could either shift the focus of the fan fic and make Ranma the sole main character, find ways to expand Ryouga's role through more "slice of life" scenes detailing his interactions with the rest of the Nerima cast, or take the lazy route and fill up space by tossing in a bunch of ideas I'd developed but never used in my 10+ years of exposure to fan fiction.

Were I a more talented, braver author, I might have chosen the middle route and spent more time focusing on the Ranma 1/2 cast. As many skilled fan fic writers have shown, in talented hands the extended Ranma 1/2 cast can be absolutely riveting even when they star in side-stories only tangentially related to the main plot. Instead, I went with the third option, threw in Ifurita to raise the stakes, and included Jadeite to give me another subplot to follow. To my surprise, though, and despite my complaints of struggling to make a cohesive storyline in my author's notes for the first chapter, once I established Ifurita as the main antagonist the conventions and tropes of both the magical girl and shounen martial artist genres seemed to fall into place one after another. I received a further surprise with Kasumi and how she became increasingly integral to the main plot when she was originally only supposed to be a supporting character. However, the way I depicted Ifurita I realized that pretty much the only convincing way to stop her would be to convince her to stop herself, and Kasumi as someone who doesn't fight and relies on words and her own innate compassion appeared to be the best candidate for this task. In retrospect I'm not completely sure that I made the best choices, but I am nonetheless satisfied with and pleased by the outcome and I hope those who've read this story are too. Thanks again for your support.

And just in case anyone's wondering, I have no plans to write a sequel to this. I know the ending leaves a few things open (Skynet with reverse engineered Demon God technology! Ranma and Ryouga's daughter!), but that's why I threw in the "and they all lived happily ever after" tag. Despite the odds things have a way of working out for the Nerima Wrecking Crew, and if you're curious that's what happens here somehow. Plus, after throwing pretty much everything but the kitchen sink into this fan fic I doubt a continuation written by me would live up to either of its predecessors. If you want to see a sequel, I thank you for the vote of confidence but it's not likely to happen.

Also, the Terminator franchise belongs to its respective copyright holders. I make no claims to it.

And on that note, thank you and farewell.


End file.
